Every time I see my reaching-6-feet cousin I get so incredibly jealous. I WANT what he has. He's got the best male body ever to me. People calling him a "fine young man". I don't know, I just want that. But I'm scared to go to a therapist. It's that one step I'm scared of, I don't kow why. And I'm scared to change and take T, I'm scared of the possible bad changes it will do to my body. Not sure how to get over this fear. I don't see myself being female forever but I don't see myself transitioning any time soon either. It's really getting me down.
Bioguys get both good and bad changes that come with testosterone.
They don't get to choose.
Cody, neither will you when (and if) you start testosterone; it doesn't work like that.
Honestly, I don't know why anyone thinks it would.
Fear of the unknown is common.
I'm not fond of the potential damages my body could take while being on T either but to me it's either take T or be miserable. I am well aware of the risks and are ready to die for them.
You just have to assess what is more important to you. You have to ask yourself what are you willing to risk in order to become the person you are.
Also if potential damages are a concern then make sure you try to stay away from drugs, alcohol, and eat more healthy and exercise. I need to be doing that myself.
Speaking from experience, it's best to find a way to mentally "get over" certain aspects though - like that you'll never be that 6 foot tall dude. And like others have said, you can't pick and choose what T will do to your body. I think it's a give and take for sure ... even mentally. If you can deal without transition now, do so. It's one of those "last resort" type of things imo. Like if you just can not live another day unless you're seen by society as male (or if you can't accept your own body), then you transition.
Quote from: casey on April 24, 2012, 01:10:29 AM
What exactly do you mean by "bad changes"? Do you mean physical changes you may not like (acne, hair loss) or medical issues? Or both? Because I think they both need to be approached differently.
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Quote from: Jamie D on April 24, 2012, 01:22:12 AM
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This
LMAO!
Cody, I've suffered the bad effects. Like teenage acne that only quit AFTER I was on estrogen. Some hair loss too. But there are ways to treat and prevent that. Look at Squirrel.. (Dreamy sigh :P) He turned out just fine on T. The first FtM I ever met was balding, hairy as heck, but he is still a wonderful person who has found that inner peace that transition can bring.
Nothing ventured, nothing gained. You have to figure out what is best for you of course, but don't let fear of the unknown be the only thing to hold you back. Some don't need to transition. others do. many are happy being androgynous. you just have to find that nook where your happy.
hey Cody, i'm completely with you (except for the fact that i've been in therapy for the past eight months for gender/anxiety/depression). I want my male body so badly. i want top surgery and T so my work outs will be more productive and I can have pecs and killer biceps and my shoulders and lats can grow wider than my hips. (but I 100% can't deal with going bald. i just can't. i love my hair way to much and can't rock that look) and I'm so scared of the facial/body hair and my voice because my family refuses to take my gender confusion seriously and and fighting me every step . I'm scared of losing them and they make me ao embarrassed/ashamed when they ask me what I want to do to my body that I lose all confidence and can't tell them 'i'm a transguy and i want to start transitioning with T and surgery, etc.' which just makes me more confused about whether I'm really trans in the first place. so yea, my fear of the changes vs. desire for changes is constantly jacking my head up.
if you're worried about facial hair then get it zapped off when it comes in. I've heard of salesmen getting it done since it cuts down on time getting ready in the morning.
Hey. Butt hair. My butt is wookieeish. I accept it as well that's the breaks of being a guy. It should never have been a "choice" of mine, so I take it as it comes.
In a lot of ways though, I have a body worthy of envy. Effortless muscle, beautiful skin and veins and stuff. I smell awesome. T isn't all bad, man.
sure felix, teenage body odor is heavenly :P
watch out for the butt hair though, sometimes when you take a #2 there's a straggler that grabs for one of those hair's and hangs on like Stallone in Cliffhanger. :P
Cody, each sex has it's own pluses and minuses. You take the good with the bad. like:
Looking like Johnny Depp: Good (If I had to suffer as a male at least I'd look smexy doing it.)
oily skin and hair, with a side order of hairloss: Bad
Being able to skip shaving whenever I wanted: Good
having to shave that stuff off after 4 days of not shaving: bad (It hurts! but you sure get a smooth face after.)
As a woman...
having access to over 600 channels of emotions: good.
not having that upper body strength I had as a guy: bad (Especially in my job)
Quotesure felix, teenage body odor is heavenly :P
watch out for the butt hair though, sometimes when you take a #2 there's a straggler that grabs for one of those hair's and hangs on like Stallone in Cliffhanger. :P
:laugh:
I wear deodorant. I just mean, uh, my like, uh,
thingy smells all metallic and wonderful now. My body in general is kinda feral and takes some maintenance to be acceptable, of course. :)
LOL! You made me laugh with that last comment Felix. thank you ^_^
I don't really want to grow a mini dick. I am much happier pretending that I have nothing there and am happy with my packer. (Of course having the real thing would be best) I do think that I could learn to like it if it did grow and having one is a million times better than dealing with female stuff.
Quote from: Mr.Rainey on April 24, 2012, 04:23:12 AM
I don't really want to grow a mini dick. I am much happier pretending that I have nothing there and am happy with my packer. (Of course having the real thing would be best) I do think that I could learn to like it if it did grow and having one is a million times better than dealing with female stuff.
I hate to say it - Kiera's right, we have like it or lump it when we start HRT.
When you start on T, the clitoris gets bigger - don't forget that if you decide to have bottom surgery, the enlarged size is going to help, depending on which way you decide to go.
For me, I'm liking my changes to date, but I haven't been on HRT long enough to start missing upper body strength - that's going to be an annoyance for me with work.
I have to admit I don't think I'd mind losing any hair on my head. It isn't something to hope for or anything, but I bet it would be good for passing.
Well, I'm gonna be a little harsh here but--
Transition is like, kind of a serious thing. If you're certain that you were born in the wrong body and that it doesn't fit you, you should pretty much be willing to give up your physical femininity at any point, without even having to think about it. It should feel like choosing between being stabbed and given $10.
The social issues are a different story 'cause nobody wants to be rejected by everyone, but in terms of just your body... T isn't going to do something to you it wouldn't do if you were born a man. I think if you have any doubt at all, even the slightest, on a physical basis, you should really do a lot of introspection and ask yourself if transition is really for you. :)
Not sure if I agree with pretty. I leapt into HRT head first and haven't regretted it, but I think it's very good to be apprehensive and cautious. Transition is a huge change and it is very normal for some of it to be bittersweet.
And I don't know *any* cis guys who welcome male pattern balding.
At the end of the day though, it is a package deal. Anais Nin probs said it best
"And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom."
Quote from: casey on April 24, 2012, 01:10:29 AM
What exactly do you mean by "bad changes"? Do you mean physical changes you may not like (acne, hair loss) or medical issues? Or both? Because I think they both need to be approached differently.
Bad changes? Well, everything everyon's mentioned so far, that alone I'm already scared of.
Quote from: -JR- on April 24, 2012, 09:31:43 AM
I'm scared of the bad changes too but thats not going to stop me from transitioning and eventually taking T. I'm absolutely terrified to lose my hair and I had pretty bad acne my first go through puberty so I'm not looking forward to that either but I'll deal with it when the time comes. I'm hoping since I take after my mom for the most that I'll still take after my moms side on T because at 70 my grandpa had a full head of hair and at 50 my uncle still has a awesome hair line but my dad has been bald since he was 35 :-\ so I shall see where I end up. If I stopped every time something scared me I wouldn't be this far today.
I'm not sure who I take after :/ my dad is badly balding and ya, I'm not sure how I'd deal with the mental image of not having any hair, on top of being so damned short. I'm already looking into hair laser therapy treatment for myself.
Finasteride helps a lot of people to avoid losing hair from MPB and you can prolly get a prescription by visiting a dermatologist or maybe even a general doctor. It helps a LOT to start taking it as soon as you see symptoms because it's a better preventative and won't help nearly as much to regain lost hair. I've heard recently that it also suppresses body hair somewhat. I think that might explain some things with me as I'm pretty low on body hair compared to the average guy and compared to both my dad and brother. And monoxidil is now cheap (especially store brand) and available without prescription.
I found out that the PH of your sexual emissions become more male-like when you're on T, i.e. more alkaline. I guess that's going to be a factor in terms of scent. And I agree that's probably a good thing in terms of attracting people who tend to be more attracted to traditionally male characteristics.
Disclaimer: I am not a doctor! This is based on layman understandings. Follow up with your doctor.
Like others have said, you take the good with the bad and T isn't all bad. But if you feel like T may not be for you, then wait or don't take it at all. I'm only 2 months in and have irreversible changes already. Just make sure it's what you want.
@casey thanks for that, it helped me calm down a lot already
@dalebert thats interesting stuff! ill definitely look into it when i start T
You know I think you just need to ponder some more and talk to someone. Just talking doesn't mean that you're actually going to start taking T or getting surgery, its just talking and from there they can help you plan out what you want to do. That might be best and they can also help you work out an uncertainties you have so that you are comfortable with yourself and can go at your own pace doing what you want to do.
Quote from: pretty on April 24, 2012, 01:01:57 PM
Well, I'm gonna be a little harsh here but--
Transition is like, kind of a serious thing. If you're certain that you were born in the wrong body and that it doesn't fit you, you should pretty much be willing to give up your physical femininity at any point, without even having to think about it. It should feel like choosing between being stabbed and given $10.
I disagree. I am certain I was born in the wrong body and it doesn't fit me. However, I am not willing to transition for a variety of reasons. I am not willing to let go of this femininity. I am not willing to go through puberty again. I am not willing to start smelling like a guy. I'd be very willing to look more male, but not fully male. The male body just repulses me too much....and I've already gone through puberty, lol. I can't bring myself to do that again. However, like I said, I am certain this current body doesn't me and I often have dysphoria related to it, but it isn't bad enough to make me want to transition (most times).
Anyway, as the others have said, you have to take the good with the bad. It's a matter of how much you really want the good portions. Talking with someone about it is probably a very good idea. I have talked to my psychologist (when I had one) and it's through her, and personal reflection, that I realized the good doesn't outweigh the bad enough for me to seek transitioning at this point in time.
Quote from: pretty on April 24, 2012, 01:01:57 PM
Well, I'm gonna be a little harsh here but--
Transition is like, kind of a serious thing. If you're certain that you were born in the wrong body and that it doesn't fit you, you should pretty much be willing to give up your physical femininity at any point, without even having to think about it. It should feel like choosing between being stabbed and given $10.
Gotta disagree. Transition is kind of like books in a library.... everyone's story is different. There are some who's journey is very easy, and it's an easy and obvious choice, then there's other's who fight it every step of the way, even knowing who they want to be. That can be caused by your surroundings growing up, your thoughts, events in your life, etc. Many have transitioned in their later years (50-60's) and absolutely loved the outcome... but it took them that long to get over all the stuff that goes on in their heads.
Me? I was so ashamed of myself (my own doing, since I never told anyone), that even when I was 12, and asked my family to go to therapy, I couldn't tell my therapist. Somewhere, since I didn't know until I was much older that there was anyone like me in the world, I pushed this so far down inside and said to myself "I'm f**ked up, no one will love me, something is wrong with me".. etc and so on. at 30, I woke up and started working on myself. now at 42, I am transitioning, and getting my FFS done in August, along with name change, breasts, etc. And yet, there are days when I swear that I've never ever felt feminine a day in my life. Like I can't even remember those first 30 years of being suicidal over this..... and that's called FEAR. and it effects everyone differently. If it's easy for you, great, but it is not easy for everyone. there are people that love math and find it easy, there are people that hate math and find it hard. Math is just math, it's level of difficulty resides in the individual practicing it. As does this.
So I know what you are feeling.... But asking yourself "shouldn't I feel like this" is only a way to stay stuck. Because there isn't a "should or shouldn't". There is only what is within you. If you know, then move slowly, and try to overcome your fear. Now, I believe that with a change this big, there should be some fear....... but that just may be me trying to make myself feel better. ;)
I agree with JasonRX and pretty.
I also think you're worrying too much. Look at the rest of guys your age and see how many are bald or have receding hairlines. If you are young the answer is not very many. I don't personally know one. The average guy starts going bald around 50 from my observations.
If your dad is balding badly, maybe you will too at his age but you're not his age yet. And going bald as an older dude isn't unexpected. It is normal.
I don't know a single guy who would rather grow up to be a woman than a bald man.
Quote from: poptart on April 24, 2012, 06:17:54 PM
I don't know a single guy who would rather grow up to be a woman than a bald man.
Exactly.
Thank you.
As for me, my dad had really bad acne as a teenager, so I knew that was something I was going to experience (at least for a while) upon starting HRT. Did that stop me? No, because I felt like the person I'm slowly changing into was the person I was always supposed to be and that this is the only "puberty" I was ever supposed to go through.
Also, as Pretty said, transitioning is a serious issue for a lot of us and it doesn't come down to superficial things like a couple of "bad changes". If you really are afraid of starting because of not all of your changes being positive, you're sort of thinking unrealistically and have a lot more things to put into consideration before even thinking about transitioning. Well, in my opinion, at least.
There's a certain hair loss that is age-related that might start at 50ish. Male pattern baldness is genetic and begins around 19 to 25 because that's when the male hormones begin to trigger it. I'm just telling you what my dermatologist told me.
While I already said you can't pick and choose changes, I don't think it's fair to imply you really don't want to be male if you can't handle what T does to you. At least that's what I'm reading between the lines on some posts. Bio males can't pick and choose ... guys would rather grow up to be a balding man than a women.
The simple fact is that we're all different. There's plenty of bio males out there who'd consider slitting their wrists over going bald so it's just not fair to lump everyone into the same boat.
And it's certainly okay to be scared of changing a body you've so far, known as a certain way your whole life. If you decide you want to go through with it, remember that it's not a race to the finish line. And you aren't less of a man if you don't want the hair on your head to disappear and don't want to get a wookie ass. You can start with a very low dose of T and see how it goes. Your doctor should be monitoring you regularly to test for any abnormalities that might occur, etc. You can also always stop taking it after you've reached a certain point. It's my understanding that some things (like voice change) tend to be permanent while other things can reverse.
Don't judge yourself against anyone else here. You're your own person and your journey might be very different from someone else's. Even other people who say they were scared but then did it and were happy have a totally different life experience than you. The best you can do, is just go at your own, monitored pace and ease into things on your own terms.
I see what everyone's saying, I'm not 100% sure transition is for me, but I know I don't fit in with a female body either. I guess one of my friends were telling me "hormones really mess up your body" so that j ust made me even more scared.
Quote from: Cody Jensen on April 24, 2012, 09:38:47 PM
I see what everyone's saying, I'm not 100% sure transition is for me, but I know I don't fit in with a female body either. I guess one of my friends were telling me "hormones really mess up your body" so that j ust made me even more scared.
You can always have them remove your female body parts and wait for the hormones if you are hesitant about them.
Quote from: insideontheoutside on April 24, 2012, 07:19:45 PM
Don't judge yourself against anyone else here. You're your own person and your journey might be very different from someone else's. Even other people who say they were scared but then did it and were happy have a totally different life experience than you. The best you can do, is just go at your own, monitored pace and ease into things on your own terms.
This. It is your choice to make, and one that you should be comfortable and happy with. I personally chose hormones and will go through at least my top surgery, but that was my choice. I know that if it came down to it and for some reason the hormones cause serious medical issues, I would stop them. I know some guys would rather never go off the hormones. To each his/her/their own.
The important thing is that you find a place where you can be happy.
Quote from: Cody Jensen on April 24, 2012, 09:38:47 PM
I see what everyone's saying, I'm not 100% sure transition is for me, but I know I don't fit in with a female body either. I guess one of my friends were telling me "hormones really mess up your body" so that j ust made me even more scared.
Are your friends trans people with experience going through hormone replacement therapy? Are they doctors that specialize in hormone replacement therapy? If not then you shouldn't listen to them.
Quote from: Andy8715 on April 24, 2012, 10:10:32 PM
Are your friends trans people with experience going through hormone replacement therapy? Are they doctors that specialize in hormone replacement therapy? If not then you shouldn't listen to them.
^ this even hormones in cis people can get whacky
Just so you know, you're totally not alone... I want to do it too, but the more reading I do about hormones, the more nervous I get... Tie in all the complications and expenses of surgery and yikes! Big, scary prospect. All we can do is what we're comfortable with and you know you'll always have support here, no matter what!
For me, its not an option, I need it to continue so yeah there are so bad side effects but reading about all the bad stuff that can happen will just freak people out. True you should know about it, but if you got to, then you've got to and that's that. (Sorry I'm kind of a black and white disicion type person)
Quote from: Lynn Gabriel on April 24, 2012, 04:29:16 PM
I disagree. I am certain I was born in the wrong body and it doesn't fit me. However, I am not willing to transition for a variety of reasons. I am not willing to let go of this femininity. I am not willing to go through puberty again. I am not willing to start smelling like a guy. I'd be very willing to look more male, but not fully male. The male body just repulses me too much....and I've already gone through puberty, lol. I can't bring myself to do that again. However, like I said, I am certain this current body doesn't me and I often have dysphoria related to it, but it isn't bad enough to make me want to transition (most times).
I'm sorry but I'm a little confused as to what you are disagreeing with ???
I just thought that OP should consider if, like you said for you, the need to transition is not pressing enough to make transitioning worth it. If someone is on a level where they are willing to weigh the pros and cons of being the opposite sex in their decision, chances are they do not identify strongly enough as the opposite sex for transition to be a good solution, in my opinion. Because it is a very serious measure to take, and it changes a lot of things. But like, personally, I can't imagine going "wellll I won't be as strong, and I might get reallly dry skin, so idk about transition..." or something. Those things aren't even a consideration. I cannot live life as a man instead of a woman. I don't want to do it and I'm not capable of it. Little physical things that every woman deals with and that I would deal with as a cis woman are expected.
I don't feel that transition is about obtaining the perfect body. Everyone is unhappy with their body in some way, and that's totally okay. And people can want to be anything. But then, that's different than very distinctly having the personality of one sex but the body of another. That mismatch is too big of a preventing factor in living and functioning normally in life than just a general dissatisfaction about how your body looks. A lot of people seem to focus just on how they feel about their body. But I don't understand, because they often don't seem to be too bothered by their social role. No disrespect meant. I just feel and have felt so uncomfortable and so out of place in a male social role that I don't understand how it can be a minor issue to someone who includes themselves in the trans spectrum :-\
Quote from: auburnaubrey on April 24, 2012, 04:41:40 PM
Gotta disagree. Transition is kind of like books in a library.... everyone's story is different. There are some who's journey is very easy, and it's an easy and obvious choice, then there's other's who fight it every step of the way, even knowing who they want to be. That can be caused by your surroundings growing up, your thoughts, events in your life, etc. Many have transitioned in their later years (50-60's) and absolutely loved the outcome... but it took them that long to get over all the stuff that goes on in their heads.
Me? I was so ashamed of myself (my own doing, since I never told anyone), that even when I was 12, and asked my family to go to therapy, I couldn't tell my therapist. Somewhere, since I didn't know until I was much older that there was anyone like me in the world, I pushed this so far down inside and said to myself "I'm f**ked up, no one will love me, something is wrong with me".. etc and so on. at 30, I woke up and started working on myself. now at 42, I am transitioning, and getting my FFS done in August, along with name change, breasts, etc. And yet, there are days when I swear that I've never ever felt feminine a day in my life. Like I can't even remember those first 30 years of being suicidal over this..... and that's called FEAR. and it effects everyone differently. If it's easy for you, great, but it is not easy for everyone. there are people that love math and find it easy, there are people that hate math and find it hard. Math is just math, it's level of difficulty resides in the individual practicing it. As does this.
So I know what you are feeling.... But asking yourself "shouldn't I feel like this" is only a way to stay stuck. Because there isn't a "should or shouldn't". There is only what is within you. If you know, then move slowly, and try to overcome your fear. Now, I believe that with a change this big, there should be some fear....... but that just may be me trying to make myself feel better. ;)
I understand what you are saying but I don't think it applies to the topic. We're talking about dissatisfaction with more superficial changes, not as much about fear of the social stigma. For example: "bad changes T will do to my body." I think something like that should be a warning sign to put a lot of thought into whether or not transition is a good idea. Because it's not an issue to be wishy-washy about. Because if you don't want it
that badly, then why would you do something so drastic? :)
I do understand the social fears... at the same time, I think if I had not found a future in which I could transition I would not have a future at all. My life can't even start as a male and it never managed to. But, of course, to each his or her own.
I'm agreeing with you dude.
Transition scares the hell out of me. Looking at my family, I have a vague idea of what I'll look like as a guy - but the process of getting there is worrying.
Pretty, JasonRX: I don't think I really agree with you.
There's a huge difference between the want to be male and the fear of the transition.
If someone could flick a wand and make me the real me tomorrow, I'd do it without a second thought. As would a lot of ftms, I'm sure.
But the months of transition, the fear of the unknown - that is terrifying for a lot of us. Especially those that haven't had therapy or are new to this self discovery.
Quote from: Kyyn on April 25, 2012, 06:42:44 AM
There's a huge difference between the want to be male and the fear of the transition.
If someone could flick a wand and make me the real me tomorrow, I'd do it without a second thought. As would a lot of ftms, I'm sure.
But the months of transition, the fear of the unknown - that is terrifying for a lot of us. Especially those that haven't had therapy or are new to this self discovery.
^ This. I think it's the case for many of us, the process of transition can be very awkward, as it essentially is going through a second puberty, along with all the social awkwardness/issues that entails.
Taking things slowly is probably one of the best things we can do in my opinion - it allows us to back out and also find a comfortable place for ourselves. (Mind you, my pace has been glacial *lol*)
Quote from: Kyyn on April 25, 2012, 06:42:44 AM
I'm agreeing with you dude.
Transition scares the hell out of me. Looking at my family, I have a vague idea of what I'll look like as a guy - but the process of getting there is worrying.
Pretty, JasonRX: I don't think I really agree with you.
There's a huge difference between the want to be male and the fear of the transition.
If someone could flick a wand and make me the real me tomorrow, I'd do it without a second thought. As would a lot of ftms, I'm sure.
But the months of transition, the fear of the unknown - that is terrifying for a lot of us. Especially those that haven't had therapy or are new to this self discovery.
I addressed this in my last post :)
The fear of changing your entire life, being the target of hatred, letting people down and stuff is totally understandable.
But, the fear of body odor or acne or male pattern baldness is not. Well, nobody wants those things... but if those could deter someone from transition then maybe their issues are not quite as serious. And--reminder here--that's a
good thing. It's not "cool" or "better" to transition unless it's 1000% right for you. I think a lot of people in this community try to shove everyone with doubts in the transition direction, because they have their own transition desires, but that's not for everyone and it doesn't need to be. Ideally nobody would ever need to transition.
And... genderedness is a spectrum. If you're only a little bit on the masculine side it's gonna be less of a life issue than if someone were on the far, rough, gritty bear-wrasslin' end of the masculine side. Some people can't live without transition in some form. For some people more in the middle I think it does require more thought, like, will it really make your life better? Answer depends on the person. :)
Just, transition makes, if not physical, then a lot of irreversible social changes. You have to think about those things. Like, if you have frost bite, you'll let them cut off your own leg. But they better be pretty darned sure you have frost bite. Because cutting off your own leg is something you would only do if you felt like it was an absolute medical necessity.
Quote from: pretty on April 25, 2012, 05:07:22 AM
I'm sorry but I'm a little confused as to what you are disagreeing with ???
I just thought that OP should consider if, like you said for you, the need to transition is not pressing enough to make transitioning worth it. If someone is on a level where they are willing to weigh the pros and cons of being the opposite sex in their decision, chances are they do not identify strongly enough as the opposite sex for transition to be a good solution, in my opinion. Because it is a very serious measure to take, and it changes a lot of things. But like, personally, I can't imagine going "wellll I won't be as strong, and I might get reallly dry skin, so idk about transition..." or something. Those things aren't even a consideration. I cannot live life as a man instead of a woman. I don't want to do it and I'm not capable of it. Little physical things that every woman deals with and that I would deal with as a cis woman are expected.
I don't feel that transition is about obtaining the perfect body. Everyone is unhappy with their body in some way, and that's totally okay. And people can want to be anything. But then, that's different than very distinctly having the personality of one sex but the body of another. That mismatch is too big of a preventing factor in living and functioning normally in life than just a general dissatisfaction about how your body looks. A lot of people seem to focus just on how they feel about their body. But I don't understand, because they often don't seem to be too bothered by their social role. No disrespect meant. I just feel and have felt so uncomfortable and so out of place in a male social role that I don't understand how it can be a minor issue to someone who includes themselves in the trans spectrum :-\
I was disagreeing with your statement:
Quote
. . . If you're certain that you were born in the wrong body and that it doesn't fit you, you should pretty much be willing to give up your physical femininity at any point, without even having to think about it. . .
But thank you for clearing up your point of view because that statement was what had me up in arms because it doesn't fit me in the least.
The clearing up helps a lot and I understand where you're coming from and what is necessary for you.
Quote from: Kyyn on April 25, 2012, 06:42:44 AM
I'm agreeing with you dude.
Transition scares the hell out of me. Looking at my family, I have a vague idea of what I'll look like as a guy - but the process of getting there is worrying.
Pretty, JasonRX: I don't think I really agree with you.
There's a huge difference between the want to be male and the fear of the transition.
If someone could flick a wand and make me the real me tomorrow, I'd do it without a second thought. As would a lot of ftms, I'm sure.
But the months of transition, the fear of the unknown - that is terrifying for a lot of us. Especially those that haven't had therapy or are new to this self discovery.
Totally agree- if I could flick a wand and be done with it, I'd do it without a second thought... Process is part of life and so is balance. You can't rush any part of the journey or you won't be ready when you get there.
Quote from: Kyyn on April 25, 2012, 06:42:44 AM
There's a huge difference between the want to be male and the fear of the transition.
Seems to me this is why there seem to be more people who identify as trans now versus the past prior to certain advances in the medical field. And I predict there will be more people who identify as trans as the medical technology continues to move forward.
Man I ain't even on T and I already got hairier arms than literally all of my bio-male friends, bushy-ass eyebrows, legs, ass, junk. Hell I have to shave my face like every other day. Thank god I at least don't have a hairy chest/back.
I wonder if this means that once I'm on T, i'll just look like Sasquatch.
But yeah... I worry about my voice changing too quickly and losing my singing voice. That's probably the biggest thing I worry about.
Quote from: dalebert on April 25, 2012, 03:45:05 PM
Seems to me this is why there seem to be more people who identify as trans now versus the past prior to certain advances in the medical field. And I predict there will be more people who identify as trans as the medical technology continues to move forward.
The topic of that was discussed on the documentary "Boy I Am" on Youtube so the idea isn't too far fetched.
Now I want to see that, but not quite bad enough to buy the DVD.
Quote from: dalebert on April 25, 2012, 09:25:36 PM
Now I want to see that, but not quite bad enough to buy the DVD.
I didn't even know it was on DVD. Youtube has it in like 5 parts I think.
Quote from: landon_marius on April 25, 2012, 06:01:22 PM
Man I ain't even on T and I already got hairier arms than literally all of my bio-male friends, bushy-ass eyebrows, legs, ass, junk. Hell I have to shave my face like every other day. Thank god I at least don't have a hairy chest/back.
I wonder if this means that once I'm on T, i'll just look like Sasquatch.
But yeah... I worry about my voice changing too quickly and losing my singing voice. That's probably the biggest thing I worry about.
*lol*
Most women have more body hair than me even before HRT started. Hmm... have you ever had your hormone levels checked? It wouldn't surprise me if you had a baseline T level that was higher than average given what you're saying.
If you're worried about looking like Sasquatch, check the male members of your family, they will give you a pretty good indication of how hairy you might get.
As far as your voice goes - it's going to break, and where it will settle to is anyone's guess. The good news though is that if you have a good singing voice now, the chances are that you'll be fine afterwards - just expect that it will take a few years for it to settle and for you to get comfortable with singing with it.
QuoteI guess one of my friends were telling me "hormones really mess up your body" so that j ust made me even more scared.
There's a lot of truth to that. Estrogen made me want to shoot myself in the nuts.
;)
Quote from: bojangles on April 26, 2012, 10:42:47 AM
There's a lot of truth to that. Estrogen made me want to shoot myself in the nuts.
;)
ME TOO!
I'm allergic. It's been making be horrendously ill since i was 13.
Actually, I've been meaning to start a new topic about that. I've been put on a contraceptive that is completely estrogen-free.
Without the excess estrogen in my system, I no longer have to have a period every month (or ever if i keep this injection up) AND my
breast have shrunk literally 3 SIZES! I went from a large Dcup to a small Ccup/ large Bcup. Binding is so much easier!
It decreases your chances of being able to get pregnant (when you choose to go off it) but I can't see many of us wanting to be pregnant... O__o
It's not T - but it's a start.
In the end Cody, only you will know whats right for you. So long as you remain true to yourself, all else is secondary. After all, transition is a way for us to be seen as us. It's the packaging around the gift inside. You may change the box it's in, but it will always be the same, special gift.
So don't feel rushed, take your time, ask questions and explore life paths. You'll do what right for you when you are ready. Good luck. ^_^
Quote from: Kyyn on April 26, 2012, 04:36:19 PM
I've been put on a contraceptive that is completely estrogen-free.
Without the excess estrogen in my system, I no longer have to have a period every month (or ever if i keep this injection up) AND my breast have shrunk literally 3 SIZES! I went from a large Dcup to a small Ccup/ large Bcup.
It's not T - but it's a start.
Would it be that you've been put on an oestrogen receptor modulator/blocker type thing? That'd be my first guess with what you're saying.
Cody - Keaira's advice is pretty good. Take your time and take little steps that you feel comfortable with.
Quote from: Keaira on April 27, 2012, 05:33:14 AM
In the end Cody, only you will know whats right for you. So long as you remain true to yourself, all else is secondary. After all, transition is a way for us to be seen as us. It's the packaging around the gift inside. You may change the box it's in, but it will always be the same, special gift.
So don't feel rushed, take your time, ask questions and explore life paths. You'll do what right for you when you are ready. Good luck. ^_^
Thanks so much for this. I needed this. It's just sometimes, when I see other trans guys passing so well on T, it makes me want to jump into transition so bad. but, then there's something about being female i don't understand but i guess my second voice is saying "that's who you are though, you were born female". so, i'm uncomfortable as female, but i'm also unsure of how i'd feel in a male body. but something tells me i'd be more comfortable in a male body than female. i feel trapped either way D: and if i DO transition, i know i'd want full out hormones, top surgery, and bottom surgery. blaaaaaargh. trapped in a female body, trapped and unsure about a male body, but wanting more than female body. this is so confusiiiiiiing ??? anywho i will take your advice, and try very very hard to muster up the courage to go to therapy
You're welcome Cody.
I hope you find your path, no matter what you decide. You will always find support here. :icon_hug:
Quote from: Cody Jensen on April 27, 2012, 04:47:10 PM
Thanks so much for this. I needed this. It's just sometimes, when I see other trans guys passing so well on T, it makes me want to jump into transition so bad. but, then there's something about being female i don't understand but i guess my second voice is saying "that's who you are though, you were born female". so, i'm uncomfortable as female, but i'm also unsure of how i'd feel in a male body. but something tells me i'd be more comfortable in a male body than female. i feel trapped either way D: and if i DO transition, i know i'd want full out hormones, top surgery, and bottom surgery. blaaaaaargh. trapped in a female body, trapped and unsure about a male body, but wanting more than female body. this is so confusiiiiiiing
I'll third Keiara's advice and say slow down and take your time figuring it all out. It's not like you make a choice and then you're instantly 100% male or female. Even if you do start on T, the changes happen gradually and you'll have plenty of time to decide if it's what you really want. You could even start on a low dose for awhile so the changes come slower.