I'll post my first post-FFS picture here. This is taken at four weeks.
Today I had my last stitch taken out of my head so I can wash my hair now...
[/(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fsphotos.xx.fbcdn.net%2Fhphotos-prn1%2F545669_377407995635547_100000990504715_1091906_1296923774_n.jpg&hash=2267bda74c8efd7011ffa16d12b17833391ad486)
I had the full FFS done... People say that you really don't see the changes for a long time, but basically this is me... I don't see that much change in my face.
For those who might like to read my FFS experience, I posted a long thread in the FFS section called ummm i think it was "7 rules for having FFS"...
This month has been very painful... im actually exhausted from it, but im still surviving in the hope that things might stabilize and ill just live with whatever happened... Its a very hard process.
I had always imagined a transition would be easy as pie- Take your estrogen, put on some makeup, grow out your hair and presto chango! You're a woman and everybody adores you and women come up to you in Nordstrom and tell you how much they love your ensemble...
WEll I've separated from my drag persona completely.... no more wigs, no more caked on makeup, but without all of that, I'm just a dude with feminine features that looks tired because he's about to turn 27. There are 50-year-old women at my support group that pass as women...
Today in the clinic the receptionist said "I'll be with you in a second sir..." and then she looked at me like she was a little uncertain but then said: "I'll be with you in a second." I have no idea what that means...
I've been out and about for a while now and people still see James. I mean maybe its the facial hair?! but im not really ready to jump into the ocean of womanhood quite yet... I still need time. I'm still uncertain if I might need more procedures and revisions...
I'm also questioning whether the estrogen is good for me since I crashed on it terribly when I was on it at 9 months. Maybe a low dosage is okay for now... im scared of it.
I dunno, what do you see? A guy with feminine features? i guess that guy becomes a woman through the year??!
It's hard to tell from the picture, but how much facial hair do you have? I've always heard of people getting that taken care of completely (or close to it) before going through with any kind of FFS.
That being said, if you looked more male than female before FFS, you will still look like that at only 4 weeks post op. I myself basically still looked like a boy at worst and androgynous at best at the 1 month mark. Give it time! ;D
Every doctor basically says you shouldn't evaluate or really weigh the visible results til at least 3 months after, because of residual swelling and such that takes a really really long time to go away.
I love the smile! I think you need to wait patiently, didn't you tell us the Doctor said no pics for three months? Hugs, Devlyn
As it has been said above, and in other topics, get on therapy; that's my advice.
Also, it's hard to judge the results of FFS so soon... Especially since we don't have a before picture. So if you intended to get opinions, you're making it hard.
Finally, if you wish to pass, I would advise to take care of your facial hair and eyebrows soon. The facial hair isn't too visible on the picture, but the eyebrows certainly don't help.
Very cute and andro and I love that nose :laugh:. However, a previous poster ( who got their comment deleted ) is right. You have to sort our your mental health before transitioning. A lot of your posts have me worried that you may be prone to depressive episodes :embarrassed:. Only saying it cause I'm concerned Hun
I'm going to tell you what I tell you everytime you post something. You need to shape your eyebrows.
Yeah the brows need reshaping but thats all. They will make a HUGE difference. I tweeze, shape, darken and pull up my eyebrows with tape. Makes a big difference.
Quote from: lecoeurdegrey on April 25, 2012, 06:24:48 PM
Very cute and andro and I love that nose :laugh:. However, a previous poster ( who got their comment deleted ) is right. You have to sort our your mental health before transitioning. A lot of your posts have me worried that you may be prone to depressive episodes :embarrassed:. Only saying it cause I'm concerned Hun
I removed my own comment. I decided that it isn't really worth the bother.
I don't mean to sound rude ok? I just want to go straight to the point without much cherry on top.
I think having FFS is one of the latest steps in a transition, not one of the first ones. It is painful and expensive and as you see, ins't a passing ticket. The most important thing, and the first one to be sorted out in transition, is mental health.
Now you already did FFS and some of what I said doesn't matters, but this still does: It ins't a passing ticket. There is NO passing ticket. You have to put a lot of effort into soul searching and into finding you, afterwards, it is necessary to take steps to femininze yourself. Let hair grown, laser your facial hair, work on your voice, find the right mannerisms and find the clothes that fit you.
Of course you don't pass in that picture. You are dressing as a guy, wearing a male haircut and I imagine you have a masculine voice. It seens to me your chest is completely flat too, I also believe your hips are completely male shaped. Even if you had FFS, you are sending male signals all around. Until you rewire those signals to be female, or somehow hide them, you won't pass, even with FFS.
Now, since you had the surgery, once you start hormones and get the facial hair off, your face should look very female and you will begin passing more. There are other things that are necessary to look forward to, such as makeup and presentation. FFS will help you down the road, but it is not THE door to walk through to transition.
Well of course you're disappointed.
You have facial hair, no makeup, your eyebrows look like a landing strip for a jet, and your hair screams male. Not only that, but it's obvious to me that you haven't given HRT a chance to even work.
You are going way too fast and running over the speed bumps and it's gonna make the wheels fall off your car!
Quote from: A on April 25, 2012, 07:04:12 PM
What?!
It's an old trick for drag queens that go into beauty pageants with natural makeup (actually looking like a girl.)
It raises your brows like she said and makes your eyes more open.
It'll only work if you wear wigs though.
Thank God my hair didn't recede or thin out bad.
If anything it needs to be thinned out some -_-
my hair's very thick, it's almost impossible to put it in a ponytail.
But we aren't drag queens who are doing this temporarily, we couldn't do that every single day.
So it was bad advice, plus Sysm has very beautifully dark eyebrows already (I love dark eyebrows.)
They just need to be shaped :)
Thanks for the info. I'm still skeptical about the darkening thing, though.
Quote from: sysm29 on April 25, 2012, 05:41:23 PM
I'll post my first post-FFS picture here. This is taken at four weeks.
Today I had my last stitch taken out of my head so I can wash my hair now...
[/(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fsphotos.xx.fbcdn.net%2Fhphotos-prn1%2F545669_377407995635547_100000990504715_1091906_1296923774_n.jpg&hash=2267bda74c8efd7011ffa16d12b17833391ad486)
I had the full FFS done... People say that you really don't see the changes for a long time, but basically this is me... I don't see that much change in my face.
For those who might like to read my FFS experience, I posted a long thread in the FFS section called ummm i think it was "7 rules for having FFS"...
This month has been very painful... im actually exhausted from it, but im still surviving in the hope that things might stabilize and ill just live with whatever happened... Its a very hard process.
I had always imagined a transition would be easy as pie- Take your estrogen, put on some makeup, grow out your hair and presto chango! You're a woman and everybody adores you and women come up to you in Nordstrom and tell you how much they love your ensemble...
WEll I've separated from my drag persona completely.... no more wigs, no more caked on makeup, but without all of that, I'm just a dude with feminine features that looks tired because he's about to turn 27. There are 50-year-old women at my support group that pass as women...
Today in the clinic the receptionist said "I'll be with you in a second sir..." and then she looked at me like she was a little uncertain but then said: "I'll be with you in a second." I have no idea what that means...
I've been out and about for a while now and people still see James. I mean maybe its the facial hair?! but im not really ready to jump into the ocean of womanhood quite yet... I still need time. I'm still uncertain if I might need more procedures and revisions...
I'm also questioning whether the estrogen is good for me since I crashed on it terribly when I was on it at 9 months. Maybe a low dosage is okay for now... im scared of it.
I dunno, what do you see? A guy with feminine features? i guess that guy becomes a woman through the year??!
Let me say it. Your forehead is perfectly done. Your eyebrows need reshaping. Women don't have that kind of eyebrows. Your nose and chin are still swollen and overtime they will take a feminine shape. You also need to do something with your facial hair. I am sure you will make a pretty woman in the end. I believe that your FFS is a success.
Hi sysm,
As others have said, its too early, but your nose looks very cute and your forehead is smooth..you've always had a great smile and Im sure your going to look great in a few months, I hope you are feeling better now anyway- you do just look like a more femine version of james, so keep smiling.
You got the same eyebrows as me, guess we both gotta get those things tamed!
If I didn't know better I would say you were a ftm (without surgeries)
Transitioning is not easy. In fact it is probably the hardest thing you will ever do, apart from making the actual decision to do it.
You really need to find a good Gender Therapist and sort out all the issues that will come up, or are with you now.
Facial hair removal is probably of more effect than FFS actually, from what I have seen. People will react to the most obvious visual clues, and facial hair is a pretty prominent one. As others have said already, an eyebrow shaping will help a lot too.
Karen.
if you posted in the "do I pass" thread, I would say no.
if you posted in the "could I pass one day" thread, I would say yes.
agreeing with everyone else in this topic
Quote from: sysm29 on April 25, 2012, 05:41:23 PM
I'll post my first post-FFS picture here. This is taken at four weeks.
Today I had my last stitch taken out of my head so I can wash my hair now...
[/(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fsphotos.xx.fbcdn.net%2Fhphotos-prn1%2F545669_377407995635547_100000990504715_1091906_1296923774_n.jpg&hash=2267bda74c8efd7011ffa16d12b17833391ad486)
I had the full FFS done... People say that you really don't see the changes for a long time, but basically this is me... I don't see that much change in my face.
For those who might like to read my FFS experience, I posted a long thread in the FFS section called ummm i think it was "7 rules for having FFS"...
This month has been very painful... im actually exhausted from it, but im still surviving in the hope that things might stabilize and ill just live with whatever happened... Its a very hard process.
I had always imagined a transition would be easy as pie- Take your estrogen, put on some makeup, grow out your hair and presto chango! You're a woman and everybody adores you and women come up to you in Nordstrom and tell you how much they love your ensemble...
WEll I've separated from my drag persona completely.... no more wigs, no more caked on makeup, but without all of that, I'm just a dude with feminine features that looks tired because he's about to turn 27. There are 50-year-old women at my support group that pass as women...
Today in the clinic the receptionist said "I'll be with you in a second sir..." and then she looked at me like she was a little uncertain but then said: "I'll be with you in a second." I have no idea what that means...
I've been out and about for a while now and people still see James. I mean maybe its the facial hair?! but im not really ready to jump into the ocean of womanhood quite yet... I still need time. I'm still uncertain if I might need more procedures and revisions...
I'm also questioning whether the estrogen is good for me since I crashed on it terribly when I was on it at 9 months. Maybe a low dosage is okay for now... im scared of it.
(http://i%20dunno,%20what%20do%20you%20see?) A guy with feminine features? i guess that guy becomes a woman through the year??!
I had always imagined a transition would be easy as pie- Take your estrogen, put on some makeup, grow out your hair and presto chango! You're a woman and everybody adores you and women come up to you in Nordstrom and tell you how much they love your ensemble...
I've been out and about for a while now and people still see James. I mean maybe its the facial hair?! I still look like a dude aww shucksYou need to talk to a therapist because you have some distorted ideas of what a woman is. Most also don't have full facial beards or shadow beards.
You should just go back to who you were before starting transitioning and rethink your thoughts and life direction. You can't buy being a woman or a man. Its no wonder so many hard core feminist are aginst us transitioning.
thats what i see ..
There are plenty of men walking around with what most would consider feminine faces.. Being a woman is more than just looks. As others have said, find yourself a good gender therapist...
What anti-androgen were you taking? I was taking Androcur, it contributed to me having a fairly major meltdown.. One it's known side effects is depression, I just got unlucky.. I'm out and full time, no FFS and no plans for it.. Even with my somewhat masculine face, I pass.. (Oh goddess I hate that word in that context) Why? Because I am the whole package..
A pretty face does not make you a woman.. Being dressed like a woman doesn't make you a woman.. Walking and talking like a woman doesn't make it so either.. In the end, it all comes from the inside - it's who you are, not what you appear to be.. I'm confident in my identity, I know who I am and other people can see it..
Quote from: Siobhan on April 26, 2012, 01:24:16 AM
Hi sysm,
As others have said, its too early, but your nose looks very cute and your forehead is smooth..you've always had a great smile and Im sure your going to look great in a few months, I hope you are feeling better now anyway- you do just look like a more femine version of james, so keep smiling.
You got the same eyebrows as me, guess we both gotta get those things tamed!
thank u darling uve always been very sweet to me
Quote from: Devlyn Marie on April 25, 2012, 06:19:23 PM
I love the smile! I think you need to wait patiently, didn't you tell us the Doctor said no pics for three months? Hugs, Devlyn
Hugs back, Devlyn(: and thank u
Quote from: Butterflyhugs on April 25, 2012, 05:52:57 PM
It's hard to tell from the picture, but how much facial hair do you have? I've always heard of people getting that taken care of completely (or close to it) before going through with any kind of FFS.
That being said, if you looked more male than female before FFS, you will still look like that at only 4 weeks post op. I myself basically still looked like a boy at worst and androgynous at best at the 1 month mark. Give it time! ;D
Every doctor basically says you shouldn't evaluate or really weigh the visible results til at least 3 months after, because of residual swelling and such that takes a really really long time to go away.
Hi Butterfly, I know you went to Dr. Spiegel too. You were a cute guy and you're just lovely as a girl, very young looking... ummm i have alot of facial hair i am italian... so thats a big hurdle for me definitely moving forward.
im at 4 weeks post op so i look male yes which is funny because right after I looked very feminine.... it looked really weird.
I'm waiting it out, yeah, its hard but ill get to 3 months on June 29. There's still A LOT of swelling in my mouth area - all the nose, around the jaw and teeth, the chin... I can definitely feel it.
The browbone too looks very masculine still ):
Hi @sysm29!
Glad I got to see your picture! :-)
I can definitely see it. It's a little hidden, but it's there... try this: take an index card and block off parts of your face one piece at a time. Like, cover your eyes, and look at your mouth, or vice-versa. When I do that, it makes visual sense to me where your features are going. Your mouth and chin (ignoring the beard...) are definitely feminine. Your eyes... maybe a little less so, but I can sorta see how it'll all gel eventually.
(the beard and the eyebrows gotta go, tho' :-P )
My two cents on the whole passing thing...
It takes time. There are lots of pieces to it -- voice, hair, clothes, mannerisms, how you walk, how you sit, posture, etc. It takes a while to learn them all. It's like learning to act, or dance, or play an instrument. All you can do is practice.
And here are the things everyone told me when I was where you are -- things I thought were absolute BS almost to the point of tears :-( --
1) Just live your life, practice the above things, take your hormones, and then... it just sorta happens! You get one "ma'am", then a couple days later, another. Then it's like popcorn -- the "ma'ams" start popping continually until that's all there is.
2) Most of passing is about the elusive concept of "attitude." It's hard to explain, but... it's about presentation, and how you think about yourself. When you're projecting an air of, "Uhh... yeeahh... I'm woman. What the hell else would I be??" that's what you are. There are masculine-looking cis women out there. But they aren't mistaken for men. Why? Because they're not thinking of themselves as anything but women! (why would they?)
You just settle into it. Eventually, it doesn't surprise you anymore. Then, it snowballs: the less it surprises you, the more you take it for granted, the more you present it to the world as a *fact*.
And physically, you'll have no problem passing -- you're thin, you have good hair, you have a cute nose. :-) The package just needs to come together a little.
You'll get there! :-)
Oh -- and my thought on the timing of your FFS: I do think it was a bit early. Thing is, FFS doesn't make you pass -- the above stuff makes you pass (mostly the attitude). Right now, I think it feels a lot more consequential for you than it will be in the future.
I'm absolutely terrified about my impending FFS. :-\ But, I am happy I waited *until* I passed before I decided to do it. Now it's much more about me than anyone else. And I think that takes a little of the weight off.
So, you bake the cake and then you put the icing on -- ideally. You kinda put the icing on first. :-P But, once you are done with the cake, the two will still go together!
-anna
Quote from: Amazon D on April 26, 2012, 07:36:18 AM
I had always imagined a transition would be easy as pie- Take your estrogen, put on some makeup, grow out your hair and presto chango! You're a woman and everybody adores you and women come up to you in Nordstrom and tell you how much they love your ensemble...
I've been out and about for a while now and people still see James. I mean maybe its the facial hair?!
I still look like a dude aww shucks
You need to talk to a therapist because you have some distorted ideas of what a woman is. Most also don't have full facial beards or shadow beards.
I like your style, can we be friends? :D
Quote from: justmeinoz on April 26, 2012, 04:53:00 AM
Transitioning is not easy. In fact it is probably the hardest thing you will ever do, apart from making the actual decision to do it.
You really need to find a good Gender Therapist and sort out all the issues that will come up, or are with you now.
Facial hair removal is probably of more effect than FFS actually, from what I have seen. People will react to the most obvious visual clues, and facial hair is a pretty prominent one. As others have said already, an eyebrow shaping will help a lot too.
Karen.
Ya **ALL OF THAT** (took the words out of my mouth)
Quote from: sysm29 on April 26, 2012, 09:14:05 PM
ummm i have alot of facial hair i am italian... so thats a big hurdle for me definitely moving forward.
And FFS wasn't?
I've gone in the other direction, so that might discredit me somehow :) but I see a really sweet young woman there.
What I tell younger FTMs getting top surgery is that the dr does part of the work, but, like climbing over a mountain, the top of the mountain isn't the end of the journey. It's the individual who leaves the surgeon's office and goes home to do the rest of the healing. That's where you are at.
Even at one month already (and with the odd sepia effect!), your eyes are wonderfully set within your face. My advice - put the mirror away, put the camera down. Shine through your eyes the woman you are, and even more boldly, the woman you are becoming.
Quote from: Alainaluvsu on April 26, 2012, 10:17:31 PM
I like your style, can we be friends? :D
why yes because a real friend will tell you the truth and not just what you want to hear.
Quote from: Amazon D on April 26, 2012, 07:36:18 AM
You need to talk to a therapist because you have some distorted ideas of what a woman is. Most also don't have full facial beards or shadow beards.
Yea... like I keep saying... OP, you need to see a therapist (for a very wide range of reasons).
Not so much about distorted ideas of what a woman is (that is definitely a problem) ... but also expectations as you walk forward in life.... you thought transition is a simple issue of a couple pills and longer hair and suddenly your life will be free of problems???? Considering that you were on HRT for a year some time ago... you should know that isn't a reality...
Thinking as you do is beyond what a reasonable person would. There is something wrong in your thinking process that has you living within your own head... you aren't looking at reality... you are acting on fantasy....and that is extremely dangerous !!!! Not just for the sittuations you will put yourself in... but also you make yourself SOOO unhappy ...
When you place so much importance on how pretty you are... when it is all there is to life... well , that is a recipe for a lifetime of self hate.
Sure, I care about how I look! That is fine. But, when I look in the mirror and see someone ugly, I don't freak out or become suicidal... I shrug and just make do with what I have (like
every other person does, there are a lot of people who dislike how they look in the world). Basically... my life consists of way more than trying to compete on who can be the prettiest girl...
Quote from: MrTesto on April 27, 2012, 01:22:16 AM
I've gone in the other direction, so that might discredit me somehow :) but I see a really sweet young woman there.
Discredit? To the contrary, I think FtM dudes are the voice of reason! Always makes me happy to hear from you guys. Reminds me that we're all in this together. :-)
Quote
What I tell younger FTMs getting top surgery is that the dr does part of the work, but, like climbing over a mountain, the top of the mountain isn't the end of the journey. It's the individual who leaves the surgeon's office and goes home to do the rest of the healing. That's where you are at.
Well put!
-anna
Quote from: Rabbit on April 27, 2012, 07:28:12 AM
.... you thought transition is a simple issue of a couple pills and longer hair and suddenly your life will be free of problems????
Thinking as you do is beyond what a reasonable person would. There is something wrong in your thinking process that has you living within your own head... you aren't looking at reality... you are acting on fantasy....and that is extremely dangerous...
This is a really good observation, and good advice. Most FFS surgeons don't require a letter, but if you had tried to undergo SRS you'd never have been cleared by a psych.
Its these words that have me so worried about you luv:
Quote from: sysm29I had always imagined a transition would be easy as pie- Take your estrogen, put on some makeup, grow out your hair and presto chango! You're a woman and everybody adores you and women come up to you in Nordstrom and tell you how much they love your ensemble...
Its those EXACT words thay are a big red flag. Transition isn't a solution to life's problems...its a reasonably effective solution to ONE problem (GID), and even so it can hardly be considered practical. The reality is that transition is pretty much the polar opposite of easy.
I have met several girls who are/were in the drag circuit, and who also had this "easy" an "adored" mindset. Perhaps the competition and vanity of drag warps one's perceptions and creates unrealistic expectations. They're so preoccupied with their appearance that they forget about everything else. It becomes an poisonous mindset. Do you think that's a possibility hun?
Youre such a sweetheart, I hate to see someone so lost. Find a licensed therapist and work on getting back on track and where to go from here. I don't want you make bad choices!
P.s. I really respect that you share your thoughts and feelings...and are so nice about it. You are someone who wants help and is willing to listen, so you're gonna be fine. It's the people who have already decided what they want to hear who cannot be helped. I hope today is a bit better hunny, OH nnd I almost forgot....I agree, your FFS is a success...you look adorable already!!
Quote from: PositivelyAnna on April 27, 2012, 07:51:01 AM
Discredit? To the contrary, I think FtM dudes are the voice of reason! Always makes me happy to hear from you guys. Reminds me that we're all in this together. :-)
....
I don't know that I've ~ever~ heard FTMs be referred to as "the voice of reason," but thank you. :)
Quote from: MiaOhMya! on April 27, 2012, 12:44:40 PM
This is a really good observation, and good advice. Most FFS surgeons don't require a letter, but if you had tried to undergo SRS you'd never have been cleared by a psych.
Actually, Dr. S *did* require a letter for me. He sent me to a gender therapist he knew. (there's more context than that, but it was basically to make sure I was OK)
Hell, it *is* within the realm of possibility that he tightened up his policies very recently.
-anna
A very good point. Transsexuality is a mental condition but transsexuals do not exhibit other mental conditions other then gender dysphoria. Having other mental conditions like heavy neurosis or psychotic disorders can be triggered by the transsexuality but usually has strong social and organic grounds to happen. Those people need to be treated for those conditions prior to the transition especially prior to any surgery because surgically treating a psychologically unfit patient can result in deterioration of the mental health and in same cases even in suicide.
I personally don't see anything wrong with your face or with the results of the surgery. The only thing that is wrong here is the way you see the things. Don't get me wrong but I think that you need professional help to get over the surgery because I believe it has been a strong psychological trauma for you. I don't want to be misunderstood and please take this as a very friendly advice.
BTW, no, being a woman isn't about taking freaking hormones and doing make up and hair. It's about what's between your ears and not worrying so much about what kind of girly stuff you can get into.
If that's really your view on how womanhood is, you're sorely mistaken. The closest thing to what you're describing is girls will call you sweetie and darling more, and expect you to chat back with them when they spout some nonsense about their kids or the weather. They don't give a crap about your clothes, in fact if you're a girl they're going to size you up and look for any flaw to make them feel better about themselves... especially if you are pretty. Men just want to stare at you and wont even consider any suggestion you say unless you're either very strong, or present it very weakly.
It seems to me you're more obsessed with looking like a chick than being one. Just be a drag queen. Nothing wrong with that.. at least you can stop giving a crap if people see you as a guy or a girl, because then you'd be cool with being a guy.
Quote from: swan on April 27, 2012, 11:08:58 PM
A very good point. Transsexuality is a mental condition but transsexuals do not exhibit other mental conditions other then gender dysphoria. Having other mental conditions like heavy neurosis or psychotic disorders can be triggered by the transsexuality but usually has strong social and organic grounds to happen. Those people need to be treated for those conditions prior to the transition especially prior to any surgery because surgically treating a psychologically unfit patient can result in deterioration of the mental health and in same cases even in suicide.
I personally don't see anything wrong with your face or with the results of the surgery. The only thing that is wrong here is the way you see the things. Don't get me wrong but I think that you need professional help to get over the surgery because I believe it has been a strong psychological trauma for you. I don't want to be misunderstood and please take this as a very friendly advice.
+1!!!!!!!!!!!
You in danger gurl!
Your HRT dose is probably way too low.
Get your levels checked. I really hope you can still get facial fat redistribution after FFS... You didn't get cheek implants did you?
Quote from: Seyranna on April 28, 2012, 05:55:27 AM
Your HRT dose is probably way too low.
Get your levels checked. I really hope you can still get facial fat redistribution after FFS... You didn't get cheek implants did you?
Yes... what does that have to do with facial fat redistribution tho? I might not take estrogen...
Quote from: lecoeurdegrey on April 27, 2012, 11:19:12 PM
+1!!!!!!!!!!!
You in danger gurl!
Thank you, Oda Mae Brown.
Quote from: sysm29 on April 28, 2012, 10:04:47 AM
Yes... what does that have to do with facial fat redistribution tho? I might not take estrogen...
I'm sorry but I think you're just trolling now.
Quote from: sysm29 on April 28, 2012, 10:04:47 AM
Yes... what does that have to do with facial fat redistribution tho? I might not take estrogen...
You're not on estrogen?
If you're expecting to look like a female with supple amounts of testosterone coursing through your body, please think again.
:-\
First of all, what's "trolling"? Its not a word that you hear used in everyday public discourse... transgender ppl seem to make up a new word every day of the week. Last week it was "gatekeeping," the week before that it was "clocking".... geez louise this forum needs a glossary.
Second of all, I don't like being on estrogen... I don't have testosterone coursing through my body. I'm taking the Spiro... isn't there an alternative to estrogen?? I mean i think i look terrible when im on it... it does not make me look any more feminine imo.... it just makes me look tired and old...
Aren't there any other transgender women that transition without estrogen? Is it absolutely necessary?
Quote from: sysm29 on April 28, 2012, 05:22:52 PM
First of all, what's "trolling"? Its not a word that you hear used in everyday public discourse... transgender ppl seem to make up a new word every day of the week. Last week it was "gatekeeping," the week before that it was "clocking".... geez louise this forum needs a glossary.
Second of all, I don't like being on estrogen... I don't have testosterone coursing through my body. I'm taking the Spiro... isn't there an alternative to estrogen?? I mean i think i look terrible when im on it... it does not make me look any more feminine imo.... it just makes me look tired and old...
Aren't there any other transgender women that transition without estrogen? Is it absolutely necessary?
Shouldn't you be on the market for a new therapist?
Quote from: sysm29 on April 28, 2012, 05:22:52 PM
First of all, what's "trolling"? Its not a word that you hear used in everyday public discourse... transgender ppl seem to make up a new word every day of the week. Last week it was "gatekeeping," the week before that it was "clocking".... geez louise this forum needs a glossary.
Second of all, I don't like being on estrogen... I don't have testosterone coursing through my body. I'm taking the Spiro... isn't there an alternative to estrogen?? I mean i think i look terrible when im on it... it does not make me look any more feminine imo.... it just makes me look tired and old...
Aren't there any other transgender women that transition without estrogen? Is it absolutely necessary?
OMG! No wonder you look like a dude :) It is necessery. Do you know that blocking the testosterone with spiro only causes depression? Maybe that is the reason for your state of mind. Estrogen is a rejuvenation hormon and it can not make you look old. Are you self medicating yourself?
Spiro will probably not block testosterone enough . Not only that, but you arent going to progress thru the tanner stages, form subcutaneous fat in your face, have pretty, soft skin without estrogen. But do what you want. Its your life and if you want to look, think, and act like a deformed dude, well aww shucks go right ahead.
I think the only reason you think you look terrible on estrogen is that you're so impulsive and expect great, quick change from estrogen. The fact you "look terrible on estrogen" is only due to the difference between your expectations and the reality, despite the reality not changing, the whole thing being unconscious.
Or the difference could be due to a distorsion in your perception of reality, a well-known effect of from depression. A hormonal change such as what one experiences when starting to take estrogen can easily cause disbalance in one's mental environment, and one of the ways such a phenomenon can appear is depression. Moreover, outside of the initial shock, estrogen does have the side effect of causing depression in select cases. You may be one of those unlucky people who need the physical effects of estrogen to feel well, but are badly affected by depression all the same. However, treating the depression whilst on estrogen is possible and could very well give you a definitely positive result in the end.
You act on your own way too much, and your impulsivity is extremely preoccupying. You don't even seem to be willing to listen to the advice you request. For the thousandth time, getting a therapist should be your one utmost priority at the moment, both for your apparent mental health issues and your gender identity that seems to need to be clarified.
Were you even followed by professionals? If you were, either they were highly incompetent, either you did precisely the contrary of what their wise voices told you to. FFS before HRT, spiro without estrogen... What else? You're ONLY doing uneffective and dangerous things.
Looking sick, or worse, on estrogen is entirely unheard of. I would even deem it impossible, perhaps outside of very precise, rare and obvious (you would know, I'm sure) health issues I do not know about. Estrogen can "not change much" in some cases, true. But any change there is, as commonly accepted by everyone, including any expert, will have an overall positive cosmetic result, even in a male who desires to look male, the reason being that those aesthetical aspects are coincidentally signs of both feminity and youth.
And no, if you want to transition, unless you want a most probably unrealistic appearance and silicon breasts, there's no getting away from estrogen. Any "substitute" there is is but a less effective, more risky molecule that mimics estrogen, designed for people allergic/etc. to the actual product, and it has the exact same effects, except maybe less of them.
And I would like to remind you of the risk associated with the taking of an antiandrogen without replacing the testosterone with estrogen. In the long term, it's extremely likely to cause osteoporosis. In the short and middle terms, it's extremely likely to cause depression and put all of your body off balance, having various negative effects that I haven't researched, but I know exist. A body needs a decent dose of estrogen or testosterone to function normally. Don't even THINK of blaming something else for the problems you have if you don't even give your body that one basic requirement for living normally. Spiro alone often doesn't block testosterone enough to block its masculinising effects... but even if it doesn't, there's still not enough for your body to function normally. I don't know about you, but I call that a bad deal.
On another note, trolling is definitely not a transgender related word. It's of common use with a great number of Internet users. To troll is to goof off, to make jokes, to lie or to use sarcasm in aims to do comedy or ridicule the people one is trolling. A troll is one who trolls. Trolling is the nominal form. To troll someone is either to make fun of them by either lying or goofing off, either to use someone's naivety to lead them into a prank. In short, people think you are "trolling" because the vast majority of the actions you describe are far from any logical course of action.
Whilst we're at it, shall I also mention that "gatekeeping" refers to the action of keeping a gate, as related to the current work of bodyguards and, originally, of soldiers who guard important points, such as a military gate, a parliament building or a castle. People merely transposed the term to a more metaphoric viewpoint in which it works well, where the psychiatrists are the guards with guns and spears, and they require anyone wishing to pass through to endocrine treatment, for example, to fulfill the requirements they set.
Clearly I look like a sick old hag ::)... I'm 30 years old and people think I'm 21-24 and I'm sure most people would tell you that E made them look younger and healthier. I'm curious as to how long you were on Estrogen before you "gave up" because after 3-4 months my facial fat had already shifted into definite female territory.
Also I'm pretty sure that getting FFS done prior to any sort of feminization by HRT( as in E+ AA)is totally useless and even counter productive.
I consistently look like a sixteen year old girl these days... and that's after being on estrogen for a year and a half. At first, I might have looked really strange, but eventually the change adds up.
I don't usually think therapists are the best and most effective solution to problems, but even I advise you to see a good one. It's definitely a repetitive thing; everyone seems to be saying that... but your life is in danger if you don't. Suppressing testosterone while not taking estrogen is very unhealthy.
Your eyebrows are amazingly dark and kinda big. They dominate your face but are complimented by the five o-clock, shadow, but not in a feminine way. Your eyebrows and five o-clock shadow are hard to see past, take care of that and you will see a HUGE improvement.
Seriously... in the photo it looks as if you went over your eyebrows with a black marker, it's distracting.