Hi everyone,
I'm new here. After many years of having transitioned, I'm only now ready to have SRS (I can't take it any more!). It's taken me many years to accept who I am, and I suppose I'm still struggling. I always wanted to go through with SRS, but being unable to accept who I was prevented this, as well as being scared of the op itself.
I haven't been in touch with the 'community' in over a decade. I used to use Usenet before it got trashed. I'm from the UK and I'm wondering who the preferred surgeon is in the UK?
Also, I'm an amateur pianist and practice at least 32 hours a week, as well as having a full-time job. Piano is very important to me. My teacher knows nothing about me and would have to give some sort of excuse for missed lessons and practice. I'm wondering how soon after SRS one can get back to playing and practicing. I get nervous if I miss just one day of practice! Anyone here play piano?
I've very reluctant to post on a public forum as on the internet nothing is private, as well as being indelible. So this has taken some effort..
Regards
Don't worry; your chances of being "outed" are extremely low, especially if you don't post your name or picture, or details.
If you search through my profile posts, you'll see that I give a lot more info about myself than you do, and even so, it would take quite a lot of bad luck and/or a very determined and skilled researcher to out me.
That said, I haven't had SRS, don't live in the UK and haven't researched the whole thing a whole lot, since over here, there isn't a choice for the surgeon (luckily, he's a reputable and respected one). But I'll try to help as much as I can.
I'm not sure (and to be honest, a little lazy right now), but I think I saw a few questions about Brittish surgeons in the SRS section recently. Perhaps there are tips to be found in there.
I think in the UK, there's a rather well-organised (though contested, but this is not the point) official route through the "NHS", I think they called it. I think that if you call the people in charge of those things, you could get them to tell you what surgeons they recommend patients.
I also think that many Brittish patients disregard surgeons from their own countries, and decide to travel to the US (several equally renowned surgeons), Thailand (dr Suporn mainly) or Canada (dr Brassard) to have their SRS. But then again, some others say that it has gotten better in time, and that there is no need to travel anymore. I'm neutral on this, being entirely ignorant on the details.
As for piano, I'm quite sure that just 24-48 hours after surgery, if you can bring an electronic keyboard (not the same sound/quality/feeling, but hey, it does the job if you're on the move, even for a "pro" like you, I'd say!) to your hospital bed, you should be able to practice at will... Bring headphones, though, in case nearby patients are annoyed.
As for actually getting up and going to practices, I think that 2 weeks is a safe average delay. Most surgeons suggest not leaving the bed too much for two weeks (one week only for some, but since those cases I heard of were all in the US, I think it's more like a bare medically safe minimum brought by financial concerns than a recommendation).
If I remember well, they also recommend to avoid regular/intense activity for one month: intense exercise, work for people whose job includes a lot of physical labour, biking... But I think that a relatively sedentary (at least for the lower body!) activity like piano is probably safe within this delay.
If two weeks without a piano class is too much for you, if your hospital has an Internet connection, perhaps you could arrange something with Skype and an electronic keyboard with your teacher.
PS: 32 hours! I wish I could be so dedicated. With that much practice, I'm sure you could go semi-professional!
Wow. 32 hours. At my best, I could only manage about 90 min a day *lol*
It's been a few years since I've had time to practice in any serious manner - holding a job and children does that to you. :(
I'm trying to save up for one of the silent yamaha uprights, but it's going to be a while.
Well, you know the old saying... skip one day, you know you missed it.
skip 2 days, your teacher will know,
skip a week... the whole world will know.
To be honest, I think the chances are that you're going to be spending the first 2 weeks just getting over the surgery, and then you'll be able to ease yourself back into it. The concentration level required to play at a high level will more than likely act as a good gateway and lower your pain levels to a certain degree, that may very well reduce the amount of analgesics you might need to use in the recovery period. Just make sure you sit at the piano on the infamous donut cushion =)
Hi Felicita.
I live in UK.
Like you, I was worried about being outed. My experience of Susans' is not to worry. There are thousands here and anyone would have to be pretty determined to search any of us out now.
It isn't completely secure, of course. That can never happen. But by pure numbers it's pretty good.
Susans' is the best for support no matter where you want to get to.
Quote from: Felicitá on April 27, 2012, 07:20:26 AM
I've looked at those Yamaha AvantGrand hybrids. But I have a type of obsession for the natural sound an acoustic piano makes. I have digital pianos, but use them very reluctantly. Fortunately, I have a neighbour who never complains. I hope she's still fine when I finally get an acoustic grand in the living room! luna nyan, I'm well acquainted with that pianist's quote.
I'm trying to save for a Yamaha YUS1-Silent, but unfortunately, my expenses have skyrocketed this year so it may be a while. My preference is for Kawai uprights if we're talking Japanese pianos, but they don't have a silent model as far as I know. My dream piano is a Bosendorfer grand, but that's waaaaaay beyond my reach. *dreams of Europe trip to the factory to pick one off the floor and have it imported* Their pianos have the touch/sound that actually make me enjoy playing Debussy (conversely, I struggle on Yamahas *lol*)
There are a variety of excuses you can use for the donut cushion - haemarrhoids is one (just had surgery), you could say that you have had surgery for "women's problems" and the chances are that your teacher won't ask for anymore specific.
It really depends on the person as to what is possible. But frankly, it's a pretty brutal and invasive surgery, and even if you aren't in much pain / have a high pain tolerance, the post-operative care is enormously time consuming for the first couple months - those 32 hours are going to be hard to come by.
I'd plan on 1-2 weeks before you are going to want to be playing the piano, and another 2-3 before you are back at lessons - barring any complications. The doctors usually advise a good 6-8 weeks off work to give you some idea of how big a deal this is (and doctors ALWAYS underestimate on recovery times). If it goes better than that for you, great. But it's best to keep your expectations realistic. That way you will either not be surprised, or be pleasantly surprised.
As for excuses, I'd suggest "I'm having surgery." If you like you can add "nothing serious, not going to die or anything." That's what I said anyway. I prefer just not telling all the truth to lying. Keeps things simple. As for the doughnut cushion? Most of the women I met in recovery didn't find it very helpful anyway. You will need a cushioned seat though. Sitting on wood would just suck.
And welcome to Susan's, Felicitá. ;)
Quote from: Felicitá on April 27, 2012, 04:32:53 AM
Thanks for the reply A.
When I was doing my research in the 90s, Mr Royale, in the UK, was highly recommend. It sounds like Mr Bellringer has taken his place, I think. I don't know if he's "any good", but the photos I've seen have looked good. Personally, the last thing I would want to do if there were complications is spend half a day on a plane to reach the surgeon who had operated on me first time. So I'm restricting my search to just UK surgeons. I didn't go the NHS route. I went privately with Dr Reed. I don't know if he's even practicing anymore.
I'm not convinced who the NHS bureaucrats recommend is best for the patient. They may just recommend the most economical route, for them. It may be a start. But also, in the past, when I spoke to post-ops, they recommended their own surgeon. It's difficult to get impartiality. I see myself doing lots of research.
I'm usually shattered at the end of my piano practice each evening. I hear stamina is an issue after SRS, including sitting. So imagine my piano practice will take a big hit. The last person I visited in hospital after they had their SRS was in great pain. Which is what I worry about.
I also saw Dr Reid in 2003 after I had problems with Charing Cross, he has now retired (being forced out by a case started by a couple of vindictive Charing Cross psych's in 2006). Mr Reid was very nice and extremely professional at his job!
I am in a similar situation to yourself and also looking for a surgeon but I'm not a fan of the NHS and would prefer not to go through their system for surgery.
Hi and welcome
Just some rules
Hi, and welcome to Susan's! We have people come to visit us from all over the world, expressing different points of view, and you are likely to find someone to help you along your way
Here are some important links and things to ponder as you begin your journey here.
• Site Terms of Service and rules to live by are in the announcement area and include:
• Standard Terms and Definitions
• Post Ranks ( including when you can upload an avatar/post links and photos)
• Age and the Forum
• Reputation rules
Feel free to post and discuss anything within the rules, if you make a mistake, don't panic, report it to a Mod, there is a button to the right of your post.
If a post upsets, or is insulting to you report it to a Mod. Do not take action yourself. We are here to help you and maintain the site for all.
Our mission is to be a support site for gender dysmorphic people of any situation, so feel at home and feel comfortable. You are now family.
Security here is good, if you don't post photos or links to your self you should be fine. I was talking to a professional computer security consultant last week at a party. He reckoned most FB type sites are a total joke and that he can hack into them in minutes :o
I can't comment on UK surgeons as I'm downunder. I do know that NB has done a lot of research into UK surgeons etc. The last couple of UK girls that I know personally, went to Thailand.
Good luck and welcome
Cindy
Quote from: Felicitá on April 29, 2012, 04:07:02 AM
Getting a good dynamic range from an upright is tough.
That's true, but you make do with the space you have available. And to top it off, I don't think I could bear buying a yamaha!
Quote
Regarding the "women's problems". I'm friendly with my teacher's wife. She'll may be aware of that "women's problem". Better still, my mum used to be a nurse. I'll ask her for something that sounds legitimate. I forgot about that resource! Lying is tough for me. People make a lot of presumptions on my behalf. I never say "when I was a girl". I'll say when I was young/little.
That one cracks me up. People assume what they want to depending on what you present to them. Unfortunately, sometimes assumptions make for large problems, especially in medical treatment.
Quote from: Felicitá on April 29, 2012, 04:30:07 AM
I was in complete shock with goosebumps when I saw her on TV, a few years later, as an effeminate man. He was taking action against Reid for malpractice. I saw a really screwed up personality back then. I saw it, how did Reid overlook that? That made me doubt myself. Perhaps, I was experiencing a similar psychosis and Reid had not spotted it? That's one of the reasons why I have been treading very carefully, spending years psychoanalysing myself, analysing subconscious motives.
To put things in complete perspective many patients who go through the NHS GIC CX system are quickly referred for surgery by the NHS psych's and then after surgery revert back to being a guy, (I can give you names if you want them), I know of several cases like that and probably more cases are diagnosed wrongly by the NHS GIC than by private psych's.
Russell Reid was a target for CX GIC to lodge a court case against him fueled by the Sam Hashimi (Charles/Samantha Kane) case because the person was a high profile businessman. But this was one case and CX GIC have mis-diagnosed many cases over the years.
Quote from: Felicitá on April 30, 2012, 08:31:30 AM
Yes, Samantha Kane is the one I knew. She was on hormones for less than a year and had thousands spent on surgeries, including cricothyroid approximation (to sound like Minnie Mouse). She was utterly convinced and did not have the slightest doubts about having SRS. This is what she presented to me, but who knows what was going on inside her head. BUT, I don't believe Sam had any doubts about his male gender until the idea entered his mind not long before he saw R. Reid. This could be a crucial point. I do think someone determined, who isn't a TS, could pass the tests and get gender reassignment surgery without much difficulty.
I find reversals very interesting and frightening, all at the the same time. There really isn't a litmus test for transsexuality. And the final diagnosis is yours to make.
Do you have links to those who reversed? When you say they reverted back to being a guy, do you mean they did their RLE just to get the surgery, to be able to live as men with female genitals? Or did they reverse their surgery?
I don't think any diagnosis by any psychiatrist is fool proof be it NHS or private and it's really up to the individual to make their own decisions. No one was holding a gun to Samantha Kane's head to have surgery. It was ultimately her decision to have surgery and no one else's.
Two of the people I have mentioned I know of personally and they both went through the NHS GIC system, and did the RLT for 18 months, one had SRS surgery and then reverted back to being male the other didn't have surgery but also reverted back to being male. One used to be a DJ decided they didn't like being female and went through a similar sinario as Sam (they also were a subject of a TV programme) and had their breasts removed, the other I knew (who had undergone SRS) reverted back to being male because society would not except them as a female.