Went to zee job fair today. I wasn't outwardly misgendered while I was there and didn't have to fill out many applications (it was mostly handing over a resume and a little chit chat). So, that was a plus...and it got me prepared for the other job fair on Thursday. So, in that way things were okay at the job fair.
When I came home I had to call a place (which won't be named) and was misgendered. It happened yesterday when I called somewhere else, too. The place I called was a lab that didn't give a name of who had blood work. I called them asking who had bloodwork done, and they said ma'am, and misses, and asked if my husband had lab work done (EHR!?). So, that was not cool...nope, not one bit.
I don't know if there are other folks out there in similar situations as me. I mean, my voice as far as I know is pretty flippin' solid!
As heard here (http://dl.dropbox.com/u/46312417/recording-20120429-235831.mp3)
I feel like these people I talk to must be clueless, but if it keeps happening over and over and over and over then it must be me, and not them, right? It makes more sense for me to be the problem than everybody else.
I dunno...I'm just very angry with myself and others. I don't understand why I get misgendered...especially because I feel everything is about as good as I can make it right now.
I'm never misgendered on the phone.
I'm sorry this is happening to you though.
Do you ever speak in an higher intonation when you're nervous/anxious?
Quote from: JasonRX on May 01, 2012, 05:37:03 PM
I'm never misgendered on the phone.
I'm sorry this is happening to you though.
Do you ever speak in an higher intonation when you're nervous/anxious?
Heh, I'm nervous and anxious most of the time and I usually sound like that clip.
Nygeel, to be honest I wouldn't put any stock into how people gender you over the phone. I pass 100% in person, but I'm lucky to be gendered correctly 1 out of 3 times I speak to someone over the phone. I don't know what it is about phone conversations, but for some reason people just seem to jump to female before they think male.
Try not to let it get you down. :)
A lot of people are misgendered on the phone. Even cis people.
I guess I feel more confident with my voice in some ways. I get misgendered more often than not, and that still happens with the phones, too (despite feeling like my voice is awesome).
Gah that sucks. I know how you feel though. My situation isn't the same as yours and generally I'm pretty ok with myself and/or don't really care what people see me as when I'm out and about (or on the phone) but I go through these ups and downs. Like right now it's definitely a down because I was out in the city, dressed all in male clothes, etc. etc. and people just kept calling me "ma'am" all day. It's like nails on a chalkboard after awhile. What sucks too is usually when it happens I feel like it would be awkward to correct someone ... or I'm in a situation where I'm like paying for something with a credit card and would have to show my ID with the obvious female name. There have been times where that last part wasn't a factor and I simply said something like, "I'm not a ma'am". Once when I said that the lady said, "Oh, ok miss" and I said, "I'm not female" and then she really laid on a thick apology. If I'm in the right mood it doesn't bother me.
Maybe if you got the name change done so your ID didn't have your birth name it might be easier to correct people too? I notice when Flashing my ID in normal situations most people don't look at the gender ... they're looking for date of birth or just that the name matches the card, that sort of thing.
Your voice definitely sounds male to me. I don't see how people could really mistake it on the phone, but sometimes the phone does odd things too. Certain connections, cell phones, low volume. Who knows really. I sound like a 15 year old boy on the phone if they don't already know who they're talking to.
It'd probably make me feel more comfortable correcting people if my ID was correct but it still doesn't mean people won't continue to misgender me over and over and over. I hardly ever have people look at my ID.
Try not to let it get you down, man. My dad got misgendered a few times, and he sounds -nothing- like a woman. Even my partner got misgendered over the phone, and his voice in barritone range all the time. As far it happening, I have even misgendered people. When I worked as a pharmacy tech, it was so busy all the time, that patients would call and I would mess up pronouns like crazy because I was billing insurance companies and filling scripts at the same time. It was probably an honest accident if it happens once.
But, I listened to your voice, and it sounds totally normal-male pitch to me. So, if they did it over and over, I have no clue why. Hang in there, man.
OH MY FLIPPIN GOD!
You're voice o.o
I had never heard it before and since you always said you didn't pass I figured it wasn't that low,
but wow you're voice is freaking good.
I don't know if you already do it, but just correct them from now on.
With that voice I don't' see how they misgender you v_v
Quote from: Darrin Scott on May 01, 2012, 07:05:53 PM
A lot of people are misgendered on the phone. Even cis people.
And most would correct the person on the phone.
I've done a lot of call centre work over the years and I've lost count of the times I've misgendered someone - even when I have their details on screen in front of me..
Dude! Your voice is SO SOLID! WTF are people thinking? It's completely ->-bleeped-<-ed that you keep getting misgendered.
Quote from: KyleXX on May 01, 2012, 10:57:46 PM
Dude! Your voice is SO SOLID! WTF are people thinking? It's completely ->-bleeped-<-ed that you keep getting misgendered.
This ^
I posted a similar thread to this not long ago :P I so feel your frustration. I really want to kick people and shout "ARE YOU SERIOUS?" when I get misgendered because when I look in the mirror all I see is a guy and my brain cannot comprehend what else I can change.
I honestly don't understand how you don't pass on the phone with your voice. Unless its your actual phone transmitting things in a way that comes out female on the other end.
I was using a land line, calling a land line both times...maybe my house phone has a secret voice changer that only activates when I use it!
Surely that must be it.