Well, my search for a permission slip so I can get surgery continues :) Today was a rather annoying experience though.
I had found a therapist who seemed rational. Said 3-5 sessions for a letter was on average how it went (which is way better than the therapist who wanted to milk me for at LEAST 12 sessions at 180 dollars each).
This therapist even was kind enough to only charge 100 dollars for a 45 minute session.. (as I had stressed that cost was an issue).
So, I went down there... drove for almost an hour... and, once she got me into the office...she says "oh, and the letter itself will be 250 dollars an hour to write...and will take 1-2 hours".
When I said that was pretty steep, asking if she could bring it down...saying she could have mentioned this before... she became defensive and said I was insulting her "professionalism". I said that simply was ridiculous and left.
This is so amazing... the people who should be helping us... are the ones trying to exploit us....and there isn't anything we can do.
Oh, and get this... the overview of what the therapy goals were to help me to be better able to make choices and accept personal responsibility for those choices.... .......... ....oh, of course, because I'm transgendered and that means I need therapy to make sure I can make choices for myself? Does being transgendered mean we are children again?
..... this entire thing is so annoying.
Ugh she sounds like a money grubbing douche. Thank god my moms works for the public sector and our insurance is trans friendly (they even cover srs!). Is there any gender clinic where you live that could refer you to a cheaper therapist?
These are the therapists the center referred me to.... I have spoken to over 5 of them now, and either they charge 250+ a session (and want a bunch of sessions), or they have crazy "minimums" on how many times they need to see me.
Basically... I'm an easy mark... they know I need a letter, so they think they can try milking all the money they can from me while they dangle the carrot in front of me.
I don't even want their "services". I'm happy... my family is accepting (even my father is coming around)... all my friends are cool with it ... everyone treats me way nicer (like stores I have been going to for years, everyone greets me and smiles and has become so much nicer)... my career is going amazing... so...
Actually... my only problem right now is that this messed up system is trying to "protect" me (from myself?). And, of course, by protect ...I mean they want me to throw one or two thousand dollars at them so they let me pass.
Making sure I can accept the consequences of my choices? Like a normal big grown up adult person? .....this has got to be some type of sick joke.
Quote from: Rabbit on May 02, 2012, 05:37:31 PM
These are the therapists the center referred me to.... I have spoken to over 5 of them now, and either they charge 250+ a session (and want a bunch of sessions), or they have crazy "minimums" on how many times they need to see me.
Basically... I'm an easy mark... they know I need a letter, so they think they can try milking all the money they can from me while they dangle the carrot in front of me.
I don't even want their "services". I'm happy... my family is accepting (even my father is coming around)... all my friends are cool with it ... everyone treats me way nicer (like stores I have been going to for years, everyone greets me and smiles and has become so much nicer)... my career is going amazing... so...
Actually... my only problem right now is that this messed up system is trying to "protect" me (from myself?). And, of course, by protect ...I mean they want me to throw one or two thousand dollars at them so they let me pass.
Making sure I can accept the consequences of my choices? Like a normal big grown up adult person? .....this has got to be some type of sick joke.
I know this whole thing sounds frustrating. I understand gatekeeping for minors buti think once your eighteen it should be informed consent where you waive the right to sue or anything. :embarrassed:
What on earth is this? 100 dollars a session? This is ridiculous! 60-80 $ is what experienced and expensive but reasonable people charge. It can go down to 40 $ or even less... Hve they no shame of charging you 100 $ a session or even more ?
And WHAT is this about doubling her price per hour when writing a letter? What, is it 2 times as hard to sit in front of your keyboard than speak with your patient and actively try to uncover and resolve issues?
I'd be pretty angry if I were in your situation. But I don't think it's an issue of gatekeeping... It's rather that those therapists are pretty damned greedy!
100 a session is the lowest I have found anyone who will do... i was getting quoted 280, 250 and things like that...
It isn't a couple money crazed therapists... it seems to be the norm here?
Basically they do it because they can. What is my option? No surgery?
It seems this is what our "protectors" have degraded into...hungry wolves who are feeding off our sittuation.
And these are the people doing it http://www.genwell.org/ (http://www.genwell.org/) ... not just some random nut, but a 'leader" for us?
I think she was actually getting off on the power trip or something...
And... still.. I'm forced to find someone and pay them for who knows how many sessions if I ever want to get a permission slip that says , like a normal adult, I am capable of taking responsibility for my own choices.
~sigh~ Without this "protection" I would have been able to get my surgery and stop taking the spiro long ago (I have negative side effects from the spiro, it is definitely affecting my quality of life).
And....they do it....because they can... that is what bugs me the most. Kind of like how they used to force gay people into therapy because they were "sick"...
Wow, I think my therapist charges $85 an hour normally but my insurance covers her (she files them as anxiety) so it is only $25.
Have you tried just a normal therapist vs a psychologist?
I don't think it's basically wrong to require a few therapy sessions for surgery, in case you're not mentally stable enough for the challenge, or something. What's really wrong is the therapists' attitudes... Sigh, I hope you find better.
Quote from: lecoeurdegrey on May 02, 2012, 05:19:17 PM
Ugh she sounds like a money grubbing douche.
+1
Nasty, money hungry, bee-ach. $250/hr... 2 hours to write? Did she fail English... Cause her Math seems to work just fine for her.
Sad. Sorry to hear that. I'd try to find someone else, if possible.
Quote from: JennX on May 02, 2012, 10:00:32 PM
+1
Nasty, money hungry, bee-ach. $250/hr... 2 hours to write? Did she fail English... Cause her Math seems to work just fine for her.
Sad. Sorry to hear that. I'd try to find someone else, if possible.
This ^ If she has worked with trans clients before then it shouldn't take 2 hours to write a letter.
-hugs- I feel your pain Rabbit.
I do agree that the exploitation has to stop.
If it were me in that situation I would sadly just pay but I would pay for it in change or $1 bills. >:-)
"Heres your $500" *pours change all over the table from a large jar*
Oh wow... mine is 40 dollars. He writes all the recommendations I need and doesn't charge me a penny. I'm so sorry :(
Quote from: Rabbit on May 02, 2012, 05:09:16 PM
Well, my search for a permission slip so I can get surgery continues :) Today was a rather annoying experience though.
I had found a therapist who seemed rational. Said 3-5 sessions for a letter was on average how it went (which is way better than the therapist who wanted to milk me for at LEAST 12 sessions at 180 dollars each).
This therapist even was kind enough to only charge 100 dollars for a 45 minute session.. (as I had stressed that cost was an issue).
So, I went down there... drove for almost an hour... and, once she got me into the office...she says "oh, and the letter itself will be 250 dollars an hour to write...and will take 1-2 hours".
When I said that was pretty steep, asking if she could bring it down...saying she could have mentioned this before... she became defensive and said I was insulting her "professionalism". I said that simply was ridiculous and left.
This is so amazing... the people who should be helping us... are the ones trying to exploit us....and there isn't anything we can do.
Oh, and get this... the overview of what the therapy goals were to help me to be better able to make choices and accept personal responsibility for those choices.... .......... ....oh, of course, because I'm transgendered and that means I need therapy to make sure I can make choices for myself? Does being transgendered mean we are children again?
..... this entire thing is so annoying.
Rabbit, if you don't feel comfortable posting the names if the offending therapists here, please send me a p.m. so when I field questions about SoCal therapists, I can say who to avoid.
There is nothing like "word of mouth" - good or bad. I don't think these therapists want a reputation as ripoff artists or prima donas.
Wow, that's ridiculous. It's standard for therapists who are working with clients (and not just doing a one-off assessment) to provide the letter as part of that - just like they have to do other paperwork as part of their jobs. I did laugh when I saw that she has a sliding scale fee...for people whose incomes are under $100K/yr!!
I'm a bit confused why you are seeing a master's level clinician. Will that be enough for your surgery letter?
If you are still open to considering other providers, see if the LA Gay & Lesbian Center is near you. They have a trans program, and masters & doctoral level therapists. http://laglc.convio.net/site/PageServer?pagename=YH_MH_Transgender_Issues (http://ttp://laglc.convio.net/site/PageServer?pagename=YH_MH_Transgender_Issues)
Another listing is here http://home.earthlink.net/~shirleyolivia/TGResources.pdf (http://home.earthlink.net/~shirleyolivia/TGResources.pdf) It is a few years old, but has some good people on it. Most of them are well aware that shelling out over a thousand dollars for a letter isn't possible for many trans people.
Eh, the recommendation was from the LGBT clinic here in LA :/ They don't have anyone on staff there that can write the letters.
I need a licensed therapist to write the letter (whatever that means). ((The therapist I walked out on today was Casey Weitzman, M.A btw...I definitely have no problem warning others away from her. I posted a review on yelp and google reviews... hopefully she won't try to exploit another clueless trans person down the road.)
Anyhow, I'll keep calling around to find someone (thanks for the new lists mrtesto! :D gives me some new places to try :)
Oy, greaaaatttt. If you feel like you have the energy, convey your experience to the people at the Center. They might not know what her "arrangements" are. And that call could have a stronger impact than yelping, too.
Max Fuhrmann (on that PDF list) is a really decent guy - PhD, I think. I don't know his costs, but my guess is that he'd be able to be clear about whether he could be useful for you.
Quote from: A on May 02, 2012, 08:43:46 PM
I don't think it's basically wrong to require a few therapy sessions for surgery, in case you're not mentally stable enough for the challenge, or something. What's really wrong is the therapists' attitudes... Sigh, I hope you find better.
Or we could let people make a judgement call for themselves and stop treating adults like children.
Too much to ask for?
Yes, too much to ask for. Too many people hurt themselves by doing it wrong, or without solving something else first. They deserve to be protected.
And really, assuming the therapists are good and not greedy, what's one or two months of therapy for a life-changing surgery one has waited all their life for?
Quote from: A on May 02, 2012, 11:53:16 PM
Yes, too much to ask for. Too many people hurt themselves by doing it wrong, or without solving something else first. They deserve to be protected.
And really, assuming the therapists are good and not greedy, what's one or two months of therapy for a life-changing surgery one has waited all their life for?
I agree that it should be in place for the surgery. However, I think hrt should all be Informed Consent for people of age who are deemed ''mentally competent''. A lot of late transitioners regret some masculization effects that could have been prevented :/
I am the first of these. But that "mentally competent" status needs therapy to be assessed and eventually treated - because many, if not most, trans people do have some related issues to treat.
Of course, the deliberate waiting and such are worthless, but therapy is not. I think prescribing blockers then full HRT after assessment would be a good way to do things.
Quote from: A on May 02, 2012, 11:59:30 PM
I am the first of these. But that "mentally competent" status needs therapy to be assessed and eventually treated - because many, if not most, trans people do have some related issues to treat.
Of course, the deliberate waiting and such are worthless, but therapy is not. I think prescribing blockers then full HRT after assessment would be a good way to do things.
True. I mean having srs ain't for sissies. I mean have you seen the right after pictures? oi~! ???
Quote from: A on May 02, 2012, 11:53:16 PM
Yes, too much to ask for. Too many people hurt themselves by doing it wrong, or without solving something else first. They deserve to be protected.
And really, assuming the therapists are good and not greedy, what's one or two months of therapy for a life-changing surgery one has waited all their life for?
People hurt themselves EVERY DAY. There are limits to social responsibility and I think people like you need to stop treating everyone like children.
Who are you to decide what doing it right and doing it wrong is? Who is some therapist who doesn't know anything about what it's like and what they do know will be out of date in ten years?
I'm going to say to you what I say to doctors.
FOR THE LOVE OF GOD STOP TRYING TO HELP ME!
LEAVE US THE **** ALONE!
Quote from: Asfsd4214 on May 03, 2012, 12:26:20 AM
People hurt themselves EVERY DAY. There are limits to social responsibility and I think people like you need to stop treating everyone like children.
Who are you to decide what doing it right and doing it wrong is? Who is some therapist who doesn't know anything about what it's like and what they do know will be out of date in ten years?
I'm going to say to you what I say to doctors.
FOR THE LOVE OF GOD STOP TRYING TO HELP ME!
LEAVE US THE **** ALONE!
Let me guess: liberatarian?
Pssst...she was only trying to help. Did someone miss her E shot? :laugh:
Quote from: lecoeurdegrey on May 03, 2012, 12:30:19 AM
Let me guess: liberatarian?
Pssst...she was only trying to help. Did someone miss her E shot? :laugh:
I haven't had a cigarette in 3 days and I'm about to ASPLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOODE. >:-)
And yes, you're right, of all classical political theories, I am best described as a libertarian.
But I have a lot of viewpoints that separate me from traditional libertarian values. E.g. I believe in public health care and am generally pro-life, go figure. I don't fit in anywhere.
And I know she's trying to help and that's the problem.
The problem, and I do understand, is the desire to help everyone blindly. But in real life you can't save everybody, and stupid people will do stupid things. But the gatekeeping system I feel does more harm than good to the people who DO know what they're doing.
Qualifications and competency are not the same thing and so many become confused by that.
Quote from: Asfsd4214 on May 03, 2012, 12:37:27 AM
I haven't had a cigarette in 3 days and I'm about to ASPLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOODE. >:-)
And yes, you're right, of all classical political theories, I am best described as a libertarian.
But I have a lot of viewpoints that separate me from traditional libertarian values. E.g. I believe in public health care and am generally pro-life, go figure. I don't fit in anywhere.
And I know she's trying to help and that's the problem.
The problem, and I do understand, is the desire to help everyone blindly. But in real life you can't save everybody, and stupid people will do stupid things. But the gatekeeping system I feel does more harm than good to the people who DO know what they're doing.
Qualifications and competency are not the same thing and so many become confused by that.
I know gatekeeping makes it fustrating for those of us who know for a loooonnnng time already but if we don't gatekeep at all some confused people slip through the cracks and presto! A month later they are on Jerry Springer telling everybody how evil the surgery is and how such things should never be allowed *le sigh*
Quote from: lecoeurdegrey on May 03, 2012, 12:42:41 AM
I know gatekeeping makes it fustrating for those of us who know for a loooonnnng time already but if we don't gatekeep at all some confused people slip through the cracks and presto! A month later they are on Jerry Springer telling everybody how evil the surgery is and how such things should never be allowed *le sigh*
They do it anyway. Meanwhile the rest of us suffer.
Social change will happen regardless. But treating us as if we all have mental disorders doesn't help.
Quote from: Asfsd4214 on May 03, 2012, 12:37:27 AM
I haven't had a cigarette in 3 days and I'm about to ASPLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOODE. >:-)
And yes, you're right, of all classical political theories, I am best described as a libertarian.
But I have a lot of viewpoints that separate me from traditional libertarian values. E.g. I believe in public health care and am generally pro-life, go figure. I don't fit in anywhere.
And I know she's trying to help and that's the problem.
The problem, and I do understand, is the desire to help everyone blindly. But in real life you can't save everybody, and stupid people will do stupid things. But the gatekeeping system I feel does more harm than good to the people who DO know what they're doing.
Qualifications and competency are not the same thing and so many become confused by that.
Yea for libertarians!
Did you go cold turkey?
Quote from: Jamie D on May 03, 2012, 12:58:53 AM
Yea for libertarians!
Did you go cold turkey?
Patches, full strength ones too and it's still driving me nuts.
Problem is I kinda don't actually want to quit but my boyfriend hates it.
Quote from: Asfsd4214 on May 03, 2012, 01:04:52 AM
Patches, full strength ones too and it's still driving me nuts.
Problem is I kinda don't actually want to quit but my boyfriend hates it.
Well, I have a post here about my mom's painful, agonizing death from smoking-related cancers. You're doing the right thing. But don't feel bad if you fall off the wagon. Just dust yourself off and get back on. The psychological cravings will last a lot longer than the physical cravings.
I'm not going to get all preachy in you. You know what you need to do.
Quote from: Jamie D on May 03, 2012, 02:05:24 AM
Well, I have a post here about my mom's painful, agonizing death from smoking-related cancers. You're doing the right thing. But don't feel bad if you fall off the wagon. Just dust yourself off and get back on. The psychological cravings will last a lot longer than the physical cravings.
I'm not going to get all preachy in you. You know what you need to do.
I'm more concerned about it leading to increased disease activity in my multiple sclerosis.
Unfortunately none of the lung cancer deterrents work on me because in my heart of hearts I tend to doubt I'll live much past my late 20s early 30s, but I'm a pessimist. ;D
"A pessimist of what an idealist calls a realist" - Sir Humphrey Appleby.
Rabbit,
My heart and thoughts are with you . It saddens me to hear your pain, but still, you sound resilient.
From what I have read of your posts, you're a strong and intelligent woman, I'm positive you'll get thought this. There will be light at the end of the general anaesthetic.
- Plus, you'll have something to put into the autobiography now!!
Yeah !!!
Love
Jenny
OXOXOXOX
Quote from: MrTesto on May 02, 2012, 10:31:38 PM
I'm a bit confused why you are seeing a master's level clinician. Will that be enough for your surgery letter?
HRT and 1 of the surgery letters can be from a master's level therapist. The other surgery letter does have to be a phd. My master's level LMFT already knows which Dr she wants me to see so she took care of finding the other one for me.
Quote from: Asfsd4214 on May 03, 2012, 02:18:53 AM
I'm more concerned about it leading to increased disease activity in my multiple sclerosis.
Unfortunately none of the lung cancer deterrents work on me because in my heart of hearts I tend to doubt I'll live much past my late 20s early 30s, but I'm a pessimist. ;D
I'm sure you've read everything about MS, but isn't the rate of disease progression variable?
If you think of tobacco cessation as a means of maintaining a better quality of life for longer - maybe that might help?
In my thinking, the quality of life is more important than the quantity (even though everyone desires both).
If you've missed it on the news, there was an announcement by MS researchers in Australia that they've gotten some results in slowing the disease process by blocking a protein.
lecoeurdegrey: immediate after SRS pictures aren't that bad - there's a bit of bruising, but that's pretty normal for any surgery. The gross looking photos after surgery are the ones around 3-4 days later as the healing process really starts up. =)
Quote from: luna nyan on May 03, 2012, 07:54:23 AM
I'm sure you've read everything about MS, but isn't the rate of disease progression variable?
If you think of tobacco cessation as a means of maintaining a better quality of life for longer - maybe that might help?
In my thinking, the quality of life is more important than the quantity (even though everyone desires both).
If you've missed it on the news, there was an announcement by MS researchers in Australia that they've gotten some results in slowing the disease process by blocking a protein.
lecoeurdegrey: immediate after SRS pictures aren't that bad - there's a bit of bruising, but that's pretty normal for any surgery. The gross looking photos after surgery are the ones around 3-4 days later as the healing process really starts up. =)
I agree with you about quality over quantity.
As for rate of disease progression, it depends on the subtype, in my case relapsing remitting MS, which is highly variable yes.
Studies have shown however that smoking can worse disability caused by attacks and worsen long term outcomes. I personally haven't had an attack since I started medication for it, and if it were just up to me I'd probably just take the risk. But as I said, my partner hates my smoking so that's my main motivation.
Take it on the bright side: if your non-smoking partner was able to bear your smoking, including the smell and how it must feel like kissing an ashtray... I call that genuine, deep love! ^^
unfortunately i have to wait two months to three months to ever see someone becuase the gender center here is that booked in advanve , one doctor the the entire city who deals with trans issues . and im majorly depressed and need to talk to someone now . it sucks hardcoe . but on the plus side the sessions are covered under universal health
Quote from: lecoeurdegrey on May 03, 2012, 12:30:19 AM
Let me guess: liberatarian?
Pssst...she was only trying to help. Did someone miss her E shot? :laugh:
i think there should be gatekeepers making sure someone is of sound mind before getting irreversable surgery . its not like its a nosejob .
but when it comes to hormones and gatekeeping that can get ridiculious certain states / countries etc not allowing people to go on hormones till they are 18 through the proper channels / legal
i mean if they decide hormones were wrong they can just go off them later and have the breasts reduced / removed . sure they might be sterile but they can always adopt , where as with srs its not like a regret in that can be fixed
Quote from: mementomori on May 03, 2012, 11:02:14 PM
i think there should be gatekeepers making sure someone is of sound mind before getting irreversable surgery . its not like its a nosejob .
Because we aren't adults who can take responsibility for their actions?
Yea... this isn't like a nosejob... it isn't a cosmetic thing because I have self esteem issues...
It is a medically needed procedure (suggested by my doctor) so I don't need to suffer the ill effects (and risks) of the drugs / extra hormones I am taking.
If I wanted to buy a gun (because I felt I had superpowers and wanted to test my invulnerability to bullets)... I would be okie dokie smokey to do that :) A waiting period for my history to be checked ...but then I'm on the way to the shooting range with my best friend batman :)
But, if I want to get a couple organs which have been pretty much shut down (but are decreasing my quality of life and putting my health at greater risk) at the suggestion of my doctor... well... oh, that is curayzeee and there has gotta be something wrong with my brain? They need to just double check I am capable of accepting responsibility for my choices in life? They need to make sure I'm even mentally sound to make that choice??
Then again... a short time ago homosexuals were seen as mentally ill too...and sodomy was illegal (actually till very recently that was true in some states)....
So... that they think we are nutso for being feminine is pretty in line with the backwards world we live in....
Might I suggest online therapy. I've been using it for three sessions and I have my letter. She didn't charge me a thing for the letter, and the cost of each session is only $40. She is certified, and my doctor accepted the letter. I highly recommend her, because she is down to earth. I felt great about myself after leaving our sessions.
http://www.brandnewdaycounseling.com/index.html (http://www.brandnewdaycounseling.com/index.html)
The website is rather dated looking, however don't let that affect your decision ;)
Hmmm, ohh that actually seems like a good idea :) Thanks tyler
Quote from: mementomori on May 03, 2012, 11:02:14 PM
i think there should be gatekeepers making sure someone is of sound mind before getting irreversable surgery . its not like its a nosejob .
Why?
To protect people from themselves?
So because of a tiny handful of people who do it and regret it, the solution is....
Me, someone who has lived 'full time' (god I hate that term), who is known by everyone as female, who would happily have SRS tomorrow if I could and have to deal with daily depression because of my anatomy, who therapists told me I needed to wait a year before even starting HRT only to decide to self-med against their advice and never regretted it, who told me I 'needed' to find a new shrink when I left brisbane and didn't and never been better as a result.
Me, I can't have SRS unless I do the following.
Go to my doctor and get referrals to (usually) 2 therapists. Explain to them about my life story and have a good chance if my history is anything to go by they'll make me come back to them indefinitely wasting tons of money I don't have.
Why am I punished for a tiny minority of people who usually get approval sooner or later anyway.
I would love to have SRS but I haven't and won't until I recover from the exhaustion caused BY my former therapists. The anxiety of having to waste time all the time seeing them, repeating myself, wasting money and 40 minutes of my life of what's supposed to be a 60 minute session, listening to their crap that I know fully well is crap and know they won't be able to produce any sources for and will just belittle their dropout drug addict patient if I call them out on it.
Just so some idiot who barely knows me with an astoundingly unfounded sense of self-confidence can say I'm mentally sound?
And I'm not mentally sound, it's catch 22. The overwhelming amount of bureaucratic nonsense gatekeeping causes keeps me from more actively going for SRS because I hate therapists, is in itself depressing, as is the fact I haven't had SRS. Complicating that I have multiple sclerosis and a childhood abuse and substance abuse history that will no doubt be used as an excuse to milk as many therapy sessions out of me as possible. All in the name of 'dealing with other issues first'. Well you know what, some issues can't be 'dealt' with, can't be 'put behind you'. Some things happen that change you and nothing's ever going to make you the person you might have been had they not happened. You just have to learn to live with it. I've tried talk therapy, doesn't work for me.
I've had 5+ therapists in the past few years and I hate them. I've been in the mental hospital after a suicide attempt where I was constantly exposed to therapists and group therapy and all that rubbish.
Seeing a therapist for me is like I have a boss I hate and have to listen too and pretend I have respect for, only I'm paying THEM.
So thanks for that, thank you so much for supporting that system.
The worst part is not even the transgender community is a source of support for me, indoctrinated and brainwashed by the system that controls them convincing them it's needed.
Quote from: Rabbit on May 03, 2012, 11:27:45 PM
Hmmm, ohh that actually seems like a good idea :) Thanks tyler
Your welcome ;)
Quote from: Asfsd4214 on May 03, 2012, 11:41:26 PM
Why?
To protect people from themselves?
So because of a tiny handful of people who do it and regret it, the solution is....
Me, someone who has lived 'full time' (god I hate that term), who is known by everyone as female, who would happily have SRS tomorrow if I could and have to deal with daily depression because of my anatomy, who therapists told me I needed to wait a year before even starting HRT only to decide to self-med against their advice and never regretted it, who told me I 'needed' to find a new shrink when I left brisbane and didn't and never been better as a result.
Me, I can't have SRS unless I do the following.
Go to my doctor and get referrals to (usually) 2 therapists. Explain to them about my life story and have a good chance if my history is anything to go by they'll make me come back to them indefinitely wasting tons of money I don't have.
Why am I punished for a tiny minority of people who usually get approval sooner or later anyway.
I would love to have SRS but I haven't and won't until I recover from the exhaustion caused BY my former therapists. The anxiety of having to waste time all the time seeing them, repeating myself, wasting money and 40 minutes of my life of what's supposed to be a 60 minute session, listening to their crap that I know fully well is crap and know they won't be able to produce any sources for and will just belittle their dropout drug addict patient if I call them out on it.
Just so some idiot who barely knows me with an astoundingly unfounded sense of self-confidence can say I'm mentally sound?
And I'm not mentally sound, it's catch 22. The overwhelming amount of bureaucratic nonsense gatekeeping causes keeps me from more actively going for SRS because I hate therapists, is in itself depressing, as is the fact I haven't had SRS. Complicating that I have multiple sclerosis and a childhood abuse and substance abuse history that will no doubt be used as an excuse to milk as many therapy sessions out of me as possible. All in the name of 'dealing with other issues first'. Well you know what, some issues can't be 'dealt' with, can't be 'put behind you'. Some things happen that change you and nothing's ever going to make you the person you might have been had they not happened. You just have to learn to live with it. I've tried talk therapy, doesn't work for me.
I've had 5+ therapists in the past few years and I hate them. I've been in the mental hospital after a suicide attempt where I was constantly exposed to therapists and group therapy and all that rubbish.
Seeing a therapist for me is like I have a boss I hate and have to listen too and pretend I have respect for, only I'm paying THEM.
So thanks for that, thank you so much for supporting that system.
The worst part is not even the transgender community is a source of support for me, indoctrinated and brainwashed by the system that controls them convincing them it's needed.
have you been to dr gail bearmen/ the gender centre in brisbane? or did you have troubles with them too . im sorry i didnt mean to make anyone feel upset by my comment .
Quote from: mementomori on May 04, 2012, 12:44:37 AM
have you been to dr gail bearmen/ the gender centre in brisbane? or did you have troubles with them too . im sorry i didnt mean to make anyone feel upset by my comment .
It's ok. I've never been to the gender centre but I haven't heard much good reports out of them. I have been to Dr Bearmen and have nothing but positive things to say about her. But she's not a shrink.
For anyone who happens to read this who's in the Brisbane area, here's some psychs and experiences I've had with them.
For gender related purposes:
Dr Alison McColl - Expects you to live full time for 12 months prior to giving letter, claims SoC as source of requirement, can't produce SoC when asked.
Dr Diana Hamilton - Exactly the same as above but is even more unreasonable and even more vague about when she'll give you your letter and has even more of an unfounded sense of authority.
Dr Helen Hoey - Better than the last two, still hard to get a letter out of and her secretary is extremely condescending to younger patients. But she will at least consider giving a letter early if you're self medicating, the prior two won't even do that much.
If you're in the Sydney area I also have had experiences with (accompanying someone else, not seeing them personally):
Dr Patrick Toohey - Real old school, will likely string you along indefinitely and like many of the others I've mentioned will use his qualifications to beat you into submission if you disagree with him.
For non-gender related purposes
Ms Anwen King - Psychologist not a psychiatrist, didn't see her for gender related stuff. Lovely person and one of the better shrinks I've ever seen (score one for psychologists). Does CBT and is very good at her job, I don't blame her for having limited success in helping me, she at least listened and seemed to care.
Disclaimer: Just in case any of the above people want to sue me or something. I'm broke so you won't get anything. Also these are my personal opinions and experiences and should in no way reflect the character of the above mentioned people personally and are purely my perceptions of their methodologies as I honestly saw them at the time.
Quote from: Asfsd4214 on May 04, 2012, 02:44:40 AM
It's ok. I've never been to the gender centre but I haven't heard much good reports out of them. I have been to Dr Bearmen and have nothing but positive things to say about her. But she's not a shrink.
For anyone who happens to read this who's in the Brisbane area, here's some psychs and experiences I've had with them.
For gender related purposes:
Dr Alison McColl - Expects you to live full time for 12 months prior to giving letter, claims SoC as source of requirement, can't produce SoC when asked.
Dr Diana Hamilton - Exactly the same as above but is even more unreasonable and even more vague about when she'll give you your letter and has even more of an unfounded sense of authority.
Dr Helen Hoey - Better than the last two, still hard to get a letter out of and her secretary is extremely condescending to younger patients. But she will at least consider giving a letter early if you're self medicating, the prior two won't even do that much.
If you're in the Sydney area I also have had experiences with (accompanying someone else, not seeing them personally):
Dr Patrick Toohey - Real old school, will likely string you along indefinitely and like many of the others I've mentioned will use his qualifications to beat you into submission if you disagree with him.
For non-gender related purposes
Ms Anwen King - Psychologist not a psychiatrist, didn't see her for gender related stuff. Lovely person and one of the better shrinks I've ever seen (score one for psychologists). Does CBT and is very good at her job, I don't blame her for having limited success in helping me, she at least listened and seemed to care.
Disclaimer: Just in case any of the above people want to sue me or something. I'm broke so you won't get anything. Also these are my personal opinions and experiences and should in no way reflect the character of the above mentioned people personally and are purely my perceptions of their methodologies as I honestly saw them at the time.
can dr gail prescribe hormones and refer you to a edo? or do you have to go to a shrink first . seeing a shrink first would just be annoying , i already know all the pros and cons and the health risks etc
She does have the authority to prescribe, but by convention she won't without a psych's letter of recommendation. Once you have that letter though, you don't need an endocrinologist. A lot of people like to have them and feel better with them, but endocrinologically speaking, HRT for our purposes is a very simple thing that a regular GP can do quite easily.
It's really just prescribing a standard startout dose, doing blood work, checking your levels compared to the reference ranges, and then adjusting the dose accordingly.
Quote from: Asfsd4214 on May 04, 2012, 04:13:51 AM
She does have the authority to prescribe, but by convention she won't without a psych's letter of recommendation. Once you have that letter though, you don't need an endocrinologist. A lot of people like to have them and feel better with them, but endocrinologically speaking, HRT for our purposes is a very simple thing that a regular GP can do quite easily.
It's really just prescribing a standard startout dose, doing blood work, checking your levels compared to the reference ranges, and then adjusting the dose accordingly.
do you know any therapists who would be good at working with someone who is non binary ? doesnt identify internally as male or female .
Quote from: mementomori on May 04, 2012, 04:35:57 AM
do you know any therapists who would be good at working with someone who is non binary ? doesnt identify internally as male or female .
Sorry I don't.
I had a hard enough trouble finding a therapist who would even accept that you could be mtf without dressing and acting like a stereotype.
thats so incredably frustrating , i wish people were a little more perceptive to people and the many variations instead of just examining us all of some prototype/ mold . i have a mtf lesbian friend who wears clothes off the mens rack but has transitioned with ffs hormones etc, shes just a tomboy . and when i tell some people that they just dont understand it at all , they say ridiculious stuff like " but they like girls , so why bother . " " but why would they do that only to wear mens clothes ? "
Quote from: mementomori on May 04, 2012, 04:35:57 AM
do you know any therapists who would be good at working with someone who is non binary ? doesnt identify internally as male or female .
I know one here in Adelaide.. Being non-binary is an idea he has floated about me.. I don't agree, but we have discussed it..
Quote from: Asfsd4214 on May 04, 2012, 02:44:40 AM
Dr Patrick Toohey - Real old school, will likely string you along indefinitely and like many of the others I've mentioned will use his qualifications to beat you into submission if you disagree with him.
Welp, the more letters you have after your name the more likely that you know a lot about nothing. :P
One of teachers once said this to my class:
You start off life knowing absolutely nothing about everything.
You go and study and learn then:
You know something about somethings
You go and study a lot more, and if you're really unfortunate...
You know absolutely everything about nothing!
In other words, some people get so specialised, that they can't see the forest for the trees.
I haven't seen Dr Toohey, but I suspect my endo works with him so if I ever want to do anything further, I may have to deal with him. To be honest, I found therapy somewhat limited - I've been self analytical for long enough that it was pretty much a case of confirmation of self diagnosis.
I did see Dr Hance for one consultation - I found him rather remote so to speak, and he basically told me to go and get a love life and then get back to him about my GID. Put me off from doing anything further for quite a few years.
Well, I ended up discovering a therapist that lived down the street from me and saw him today...
He said I seemed completely fine and would write me the letter the next session :P So, 2 sessions I guess I'm getting off easy.
Though he seems like a very interesting person and might know some people in the area that can help get my game company going :D So, that would be a fun turn of events if it works out (and puts a silver lining on the entire needing my mental health evaluated before society lets me do what I wish with my body).
Quote from: Asfsd4214 on May 04, 2012, 02:44:40 AM
If you're in the Sydney area I also have had experiences with (accompanying someone else, not seeing them personally):
Dr Patrick Toohey - Real old school, will likely string you along indefinitely and like many of the others I've mentioned will use his qualifications to beat you into submission if you disagree with him.
Disclaimer: Just in case any of the above people want to sue me or something. I'm broke so you won't get anything. Also these are my personal opinions and experiences and should in no way reflect the character of the above mentioned people personally and are purely my perceptions of their methodologies as I honestly saw them at the time.
hehehe ... Love the disclaimer.
I went to Dr Toohey to get my letter for HRT- Found him to be pleasant and quite accommodating actually.
Was he questioning me?
Of course.
Did he argue with me?
NoDisagree with me?
Yes.
That why I paid the money. To get help from a professional. They were times I found him infuriating, by only because he was testing me, and you know what, it made a stronger person because of it. After 3 months I was a stronger human being. Completely.
I had finally removed some doubts thanks to working with him.
I don't post this to argue with others in a matter of opinion, we are all entitled to that, but I do mention that if your going to pay someone a large sum of money- get
your money's worth.
I offer to potential clients in the Sydney area that
"Others can only react to what you give them". So will that be love, acceptance and understanding
Only you can decide that.
Live lively my sisters,
Love,
Jenny
OXOXOXOX