When I first started transition, I was clocked from left to right. I've been called every nasty name in the book. As the years went by and as my transition progressed, it happened less frequently.
Now after ffs, I haven't noticed any weird looks or have heard any comments. When I go out, nothing happens, except get hit on by guys from time to time, lol. Can I assume I'm passing? I know I was born male so I usually just assume others know I'm trans when they see me.
There's this girl that started working where I work about 2-3 weeks ago and we've become good friends really fast and have lunch together everyday, etc. The other day as I was driving my car (stick shift) and she was in the passenger seat, she made a comment, "you drive like a beast". I asked, "what do you mean by that?". She responded, " you drive like a man". Lol. If she knew I was born male I don't think she'd make a comment like that, or would she? Then today I told her I was calling my boyfriend and she asked, "for what? To eat your pussy? To eat your kitty kat?" lol
Id love to read people's minds to see what they are thinking. It's so weird to pass without making any real effort. I'm just being myself. And though how weird it is to me, it's a good weird feeling.
Thoughts?
Eventually you pretty much stop thinking about it if you go long enough without anyone noticing you're trans. I always assume nobody knows.
'Course I still worry about whether I look good... But who doesn't? ;)
Anyway, that's awesome, Jen!
I was just thinking about this the other day. I work at a place where gossip is huge, and I've been there since before transitioning and transitioned on the job, so I go to work with the expectation that everyone knows about my past. They may not mention it, I never mention anything regarding it unless it's mentioned to me but I expect that everyone knows. But, the other day my mind was blown.
I was talking about how one of our coworkers was teasing me about having a "baby mama" (really she's just someone I started hanging out with/talking to recently) to another coworker. This new girl (she's worked there about two months) is like you don't know you could have a baby mama. I was like no, I'm pretty sure I don't. She insisted that "most men have a baby or two he doesn't know about." I was thinking that she must really not know I'm trans to continue this line of conversation so I said "hard to have a baby mama when you are a virgin" because I didn't want to out myself. I just found it weird because it seems like being trans would be a thing most people would mention to anyone new "hey, do you know about Andy!? he used to be 'so-and-so'"
The same co-worker just asked me this morning if I'm pregnant (apparently because my face looks rounder, yes, I'm gaining weight :(). She must not know unless she was just being sarcastic.
jenjen if that pix is the reeal you then your colleague is just seeing a nice female...enjoy the feeling.
Why thank you! :)
QuoteWhen I first started transition, I was clocked from left to right. I've been called every nasty name in the book. As the years went by and as my transition progressed, it happened less frequently.
Now the problem I have is slightly different: I can't tell whether people are clocking me or not half the time because I live in a place where a lot of people just don't really care about what I am. Although I rarely get insulted, I find it frustrating sometimes and would like to know if I am clocked, just in case I have to go to somewhere where people aren't so accepting and I get myself in trouble for it. Then there are the bus drivers who call me mate sometimes (an irritating Aussie male habit that I never had even in my pre-transition days). I suppose being called "mate" is actually quite nice compared to what some people get called, I suppose, but then I can't help wondering whether they do it to other women.
I think it doesn't happen as often as it once did, because my appearance is quite different, but now I have got to the stage where it is only my voice that gives me away, I think.
As far as coworkers go, I transitioned on the job too, and most of mine are really considerate and never gossip about my past. I actually went and thanked one particular person last week because she was always so vigilant about it when introducing me to new staff or talking about me with them. She doesn't even come from a culture where trans-people are particularly accepted, but when I told her that she said she just thought it was the natural thing to do. What a gem!
lets have a pix?
If you are getting your HRT from a proper doctor and endocrinologist you should be seeing some changes after a year.
Have you altered your hairstyle, clothes, accessories etc?
Maybe you live in an area where there are more transphobes than average and they have all seen every transphobic bit of telly ever shown?
When you reach 15 posts you can post a picture and an avatar.
Cool feeling huh? ;D
After awhile you just are you... and you forget about being "different" before. I think this is as good as it gets... :)
Quote from: JennX on May 09, 2012, 06:43:42 PM
Cool feeling huh? ;D
After awhile you just are you... and you forget about being "different" before. I think this is as good as it gets... :)
It is great to just be while out and about and it is very good. But please say this isn't as good as it get because I still want to be able to shower or walk to the closet without clothes and not wince or frown.
Quote from: Kadri on May 09, 2012, 01:05:11 AM
Now the problem I have is slightly different: I can't tell whether people are clocking me or not half the time because I live in a place where a lot of people just don't really care about what I am. Although I rarely get insulted, I find it frustrating sometimes and would like to know if I am clocked, just in case I have to go to somewhere where people aren't so accepting and I get myself in trouble for it. ..
Its the same here, I really cant decided if ignorance is bliss, or if i want to know so i know if i need to work harder at it.
Quote from: blueocean on May 09, 2012, 01:26:59 PM
I don't get what medications you are all taking or what you did to transition, but nothing is working for me. I don't pass, I've been on HRT for a year and I look exactly the same. I go on all these forums and read about people passing and things. You look great in your avatars. Nothing is happening to me. Why do you all look different and get these good results. I don't understand. I'm so unhappy. I see people make posts like this about how they pass and its so intimidating to me. :'(
Sorry you haven't experienced any changes. But to be fair, I've been on HRT for almost 7 years, had BA, and I recently had FFS. A year after being on HRT, I was still very clockable and felt the same way as you. Give it more time, work on your appearance, electrolysis, voice, etc and take lots of pictures. Sometimes we don't notice changes because they happen very slowly but when you look back at pictures, you'll be able to tell.
Let's all remember that whole groups of people never all behave alike. Having a bad experience with one individual doesn't make a whole segment of society bad or biased. Hugs, Devlyn
blueocean, are you doing your hormone level blood tests? Do you see your doctor regularly? If after a whole year, there's nothing, unless you're a spectacularly unlucky individual, and even if you're old, chances are that your hormone levels never reached the female standards, if you ask me... Perhaps your doctor would have to adjust your dosage.
Interesting story jen,
I look at your avatar and wonder how there could have been a time when you never passed!
I guess its a process that takes time, going from not passing to passing 100%. I hope to get there myself but its gonna be a long journey.
Blueocean,
I can really relate to your feelings about looking at the pretty girls and getting jealous, I get the same feeling much to my shame, and also avoid those threads because although im glad the girls on there are doing well, it just eats me up that I'll probably never have that, and quite frankly it makes me die a little inside and want to cry!
I've been read as solely male for a few months now, it's great.
The only downside is when people make comments that don't apply to me in the way they do to cis men; for example, I have a co worker who talks about me having kids.
I know I can still have a family and everything but it would be different than most men in my area. I just steer the conversation elsewhere whenever she starts with it - it makes me freaking sad.
I know I have been assuming most everyone around town knew I was trans or could tell it if they were around me long enough, but more and more, comments are made or people assume stuff that tells me they just don't know and that does feel nice. I just wish other women wouldn't tell me they wish they were as thin as I am, they have no idea how much I try to put on and keep weight, its a constant worry.
Quote from: blueocean on May 14, 2012, 09:09:07 AM
You look really good in your avatar pic. I wouldn't know you were trans or not. :)
Thanks, its taken a long time though. I still feel a bit out of sorts when guys hit on me though, but I try to brush most of it off with a little joking comment or something rather than deal with it.
You are totally passable..No need to question it lol! Look around..there are a of GG that look less. If you are getting positive responses then you are on point Jen. A friend and I were discussing what factors get a person "clocked" On the face we agreed that it was usually the jawline..As far as actions, def the voice and then how a person walks. Im sure there are other tells.
Thanks Michelle.
My co-worker just asked me if I had a tampon so she definitely doesn't know then. Too bad I didn't have one on me. Do women always carry them?
A lot of women I've known always seem to have a few tampons loose in their purses. I think I'll stash a couple in mine. I might get asked for one in the ladiesroom sometime.
Quote from: JenJen2011 on May 17, 2012, 08:06:29 AM
Thanks Michelle.
My co-worker just asked me if I had a tampon so she definitely doesn't know then. Too bad I didn't have one on me. Do women always carry them?
This has happened to me too, I found it easier to just say no. I asked my girlfriend and she says that not all women carry them around.
I'm told I do some friends mentioned this the other day.
Me and some other friends (Aswell as some people I didn't know friends of friends) went over there house to have dinner together they have a dog a great dane called "Charlie" and he's very odd. Learned helplessness is his nature he cries and wines like a baby if he's not the centre of attention.
He seemed to really like me and contrary to his emo nature he seemed playful about me. playfully pushing my legs out from under me and trying to pin me to the ground. My friend said.
"He'll fall in love with you if your not careful Alice." I made a joke in response
"haha, I'm so lonely all anyone has to do is ask and not puke in horror at my disfigured hybrid body."
*Charlie nudges my back with his nose.*
"Hey Charlie you know I have a dick right?"
One of the friend of friends was there and I'd not met them before but apparently after I'd left he asked my actual friends.
"Why was that girl making jokes about having a penis and saying she was hideous? She looked fine to me."
They explained my nature to them apparently he never guessed despite it begin openly stated.