I have been battling a meth addiction i was good for 5 weeks until yesterday and im afraid it will keep happening im sry if this is the wrong section i just couldnt see past my tears. if anyone has been through this pls talk to me.....
Quote from: Natalie <3 on May 08, 2012, 03:51:22 PM
I have been battling a meth addiction i was good for 5 weeks until yesterday and im afraid it will keep happening im sry if this is the wrong section i just couldnt see past my tears. if anyone has been through this pls talk to me.....
Natalie, it's going to be okay. Battling addictions is tough. Especially when you have a lot of stress.
You know already that you need to get clean. Meth will kill you, but first it will ruin your skin and your teeth. I have a nephew who had the same problem - did jail time for theft. But he got treatment and cleaned up. Nevertheless he is still an addict, he just knows what to do to fight the addiction.
You'll probably need to get into a program. Talk to your doctor. Or perhaps a pastor, if you have one.
Get help now. I know you can do it, because you are a strong person who has been through a lot already.
Get help. Few can do it alone. When craving takes over, thought processes change and bad decisions are made. The best way to start taking control is to get into treatment. If you can't, at least talk to an experienced professional. Do not assume you can work it out yourself.
Identify the triggers. Certain places, people, sights, sounds, smells, and activities will trigger the craving. Work with a professional to help you do this. After all, once the craving has kicked in and taken control, it can be hard to step back and see the trigger.
Arrange your life and daily routine to avoid these triggers. You may need to avoid certain people and activities, perhaps delegating them to others. For example, handling cash serves as a trigger for many.
Use the "stop the thought" technique where you visualize turning off the thought as if you are turning off a TV. Many treatment centers are experienced at training people on this technique.
Use a preplanned activity to interrupt the craving and serve as a reminder to direct attention elsewhere. Some keep a rubber band around the wrist to snap whenever they feel the craving.
View the craving as an urge that will pass. The craving will subside if you hold out.
Get into treatment. An environment that keeps meth out of reach combined with training from professionals on how to control the craving is by far the best approach to beating a meth addiction. Drug Rehab Lifeline (877) 340-0184
We also have an "Addictions" page here. Read it.
I'm pulling for you. I'm here if you need to talk.
I haven't been through this, but I'll try to help.
The basics:
1. Throw away any amount of drugs that you still have right now. In the toilets, so you can't get them again. Don't overestimate self-control; it's gonna be hard to resist taking some if it's there, waiting for you.
2. Distance yourself from any people or places (weird streets, bars, "meeting spots") who could offer you drugs. Those people won't do you any good.
3. See a health professional if you don't manage to stop. They won't call the police or anything. But crystal meth is one of the most dangerous drugs out there, I think. I think it's safe to assume it's hard on the body. Add HRT to that...
Also, I wrote this about smoking to a member this week. Perhaps part of this post will help.
Quote from: A on May 06, 2012, 11:02:23 AM
Jaime, I've never smoked, so perhaps what I'm going to say will sound ridiculous, but related to what you just said, I'd want to offer a little personal experience about smoking in my family.
My mother had smoked for over ten years when she quit around the age of 35(?), when I was more or less 7-9 years old (don't know her birth date by heart, so I can't be sure). Having learned how bad smoking was, and being somewhat stubborn about a few things, I started putting "no smoking" signs around the house, cutting her cigarette packs into two whenever I found them, and put a lot of negative social pressure around her to get her to stop. She then stopped smoking and didn't touch a cigarette for another ten years.
Lesson 1: Being with people who disapprove of smoking helps some people.
My sister started smoking at about 21 years old, under the bad influence of people from the army, despite her being just as against it as I.
Lesson 2: Distance yourself from smokers, at least when they do smoke. For example, don't go out with them when they smoke.
My mother started smoking again about 3 years ago. It started out as "social smoking", then under the influence of my sister and the fact that she had a pack of cigarettes next to her and someone going out to smoke every hour or even more often, it became worse. She now smokes at least 12 cigarettes a day, if I average from what she smokes when I'm there.
Lesson 3: Don't think you limit someone's freedom by not allowing them to smoke near you.
Recently, both my mother and sister stopped smoking together. It lasted one month (more than enough to beat the physical addiction), after which they started again.
Lesson 4: Tell people around you when you stop smoking, and don't let them do crap like "respect your individual choice". Tell them not to allow you to smoke near them.
Both of them tell me they intend to stop; that they just have to put their minds into it. And they don't stop. Well, when they do, it lasts anywhere from 1 day to 1 month.
Lesson 5: Remove "eventually" from your vocabulary when it comes to that. I haven't seen it work.
Whenever they stop and restart, my sister and mother never throw away their lighters, etc. So every time they want to start again, they have everything right under their nose.
Lesson 5: Whenever you make your mind to stop, throw away everything you own that is related to smoking. (Don't worry about the cost; smoking costs you THOUSANDS every year, so what's losing a ten-dollar ashtray and lighter?) You mustn't be able to find a single cigarette, lighter, match, ashtray, etc. if you wanna smoke. Throw away your car's cigarette lighter, too. Nothing you can control must remind you of smoking. Also, when you have the urge to smoke again, it'll be such a pain in the ass to buy all those things again that it might just discourage you.
You should try nicotine inhalators. They're designed to provide the same nicotine, taste and feel (even the moist and temperature) like real cigarette smoke, but they're nowhere as harmful - well, nicotine is arguably not a healthy product, but nothing compared to the rest of products in the smoke. They say they feel EXACTLY like smoking. You can smoke them and gradually reduce the dose, until you're able to only smoke placebo ones, and eventually stop.
The only objection that people have to them is that they're expensive, but honestly, considering the inhuman amount you smoke, I don't think the price difference can be so big.
Oh, yeah, and additional tips that would work on me, but that might only be attributed to my rather strange personality.
-Put into your mind that it's not okay, and even a terrible thing to smoke near anyone, to let anyone breathe the smallest amount of secondary smoke from you. Isolate yourself when you smoke, like it's a punishment. Eventually, you should tend to smoke less.
-Put the focus not on "smoking or not", but on "buying cigarettes or not". Don't overestimate your mental strength. It's much easier to resist going to the convenience store + spend over 10 $ for a pack of cigarettes, than to resist taking a cigarette in your pack and smoke it.
-Never buy cigarettes along with other things. Always make sure you have to walk to the store or something just for that. Make it a pain. Also, always buy the smallest pack available.
-You might also want to ask the clerk of your local store not to allow you to buy cigarettes even if you ask.
Some people also find it's a great help to put in a pot/account all the money they should have spent on smoking but didn't, and save it for a project, like a trip in the South, or maybe some transition expense you might still have in front of you. That, or offer themselves a restaurant+theater night a week, for example.
I hope I helped. I really think of smoking as a tragedy, and I hope you're able to stop, "eventually" ;).
Edit: Uwah, a reply while I typed. Listen to Jamie D; this looks like it's very wise advice.
Natalie
Jamie D is right.
You've fallen off the wagon. But now you get back on again. If you fall off again, you keep getting back on. for as long as it takes.
its about to happen again today.... i do hope i die soon
Quote from: Natalie <3 on May 08, 2012, 04:47:19 PM
its about to happen again today.... i do hope i die soon
No no no
You have too many people who love you. Don't hurt yourself and don't hurt them.
Do you have someone with you? If so, I want you to head to the ER right now.
If not, call someone. Call 911.
Please Natalie. Do it now.
If you're able to type, you're able to save yourself. Get help, like, uhm. Now.
im fine atm, i just mean im buying some more i dont have my bf anymore he used to watch out for me now im on my own and i cant handle it
Don't buy it Natalie, just say no :) Your life is worth allot more than a stupid little bag of dope
Be strong for yourself and your friends in our community Sis.
Hugs
Don't buy any more? Force yourself to stay inside. It may be my lazy/whatever personality, but for me, at least, staying home is easy, no matter what happens.
If you already did, flush it into the toilet. Oops.
If you want to prevent yourself from buying any more, stop carrying cash altogether. In a modern world, all your expenses can be easily covered with a card, in 99 % stores. I doubt pushers take Mastercard.
Oh, yeah, and crystal meth is something that you take by the nose, right? Then throw away any material you might have for it. Anything I know is from movies, but, uhm... Don't keep any straws or stuff.
If you really think you can't resist it, go to the hospital. They're used to such situations, and they'll keep you from any dangerous substance until the physical urge is gone, at least. They can probably refer you to an addiction therapist, too, which are really effective, in general.
If you really can't go to the hospital, how about rendering yourself unable to buy drugs? It's not the healthiest thing on Earth, but if you ask me, taking a sleeping pill or two should be much better than crystal meth. If you don't have sleeping pills, do you have Benadryl or a similar quick-action allergy relief medication? One or two of those make me dizzy and really, really sleepy.
You know, once you buy the drug, you're in a really bad situation. It's human and natural to want to use what you paid for. Put the emphasis on resisting the purchase. Everything is a hundred times harder once you have the powder on hand.
Quote from: Natalie <3 on May 08, 2012, 05:02:11 PM
im fine atm, i just mean im buying some more i dont have my bf anymore he used to watch out for me now im on my own and i cant handle it
You have friends here, natalie, who want to help you.
Just asking for the help is the first step.
You're already on the path of beating this. First step. One step at a time.
I am hoping this is the last time.... last time i used was 2 days before i got on my plane to utah...
Don't hope it's the last time. Make it the last time. Or rather, make this time not happen, if it's possible. The toilet bowl calls.
Ya Natalie just keep talking. We're listening.
I've done crank, meth, crack, coke, etc, but I liked hippy drugs better so I never got addicted. I have watched lots of people get addicted to stuff, and meth is a huge problem in the region where I live now. It's powerful stuff. I agree you should get into a program. Find other people up against the same problems. Get a sponsor if you can. Don't depend on lovers to monitor your usage.
Call 911 immediately!, if you're considering buying more now on top of feeling suicidal you're in a very dangerous state of mind that requires professional attention and monitoring. I'm not trying to scold you i'm here as a friend wanting to save your life; i've seen this happen to people an once they're at this point especially with meth there is little hope to kicking it on your own, there is no shame in seeking help so don't feel embarrassed for doing so please make the call an have them help you you're a beautiful person and don't deserve this torment.
Natalie,
Others have said it already and I'm going to say it now: call 911 and get help.
Please, Natalie, do this for yourself.
when i was smoking weed i stayed away from everything else...
Quote from: Natalie <3 on May 08, 2012, 05:19:45 PM
I am hoping this is the last time.... last time i used was 2 days before i got on my plane to utah...
Make last time the last time.
I know you can do it. You're stronger than you think.
Natalie, look at all of your friends here. WE ALL care about YOU!
Well, you know, if smoking weed is what you need to avoid sniffing pure poison, then so be it, I guess.
I don't recommend either, but honestly, weed is going to be much easier to deal with.
Can you distract yourself? Is there something else you like to do? If you've already ingested the meth, how do you intend to cope when it wears off?
If I were you I'd make silly but definite plans. Hot cocoa and moping over a jigsaw puzzle, or water and hiking in the closest nature preserve. Do some concrete thing. Call someone you know and don't tell them what's wrong, but just ask them how they're doing. Go outside and stare at strangers. It can be good for perspective. You should decide what you are going to do next.
I'll sound like a broken record and urge you to seek help. Take control of your life, and live it. Hugs, Devlyn
I'm really bad at this type of thing but I want to let you know I'm here as well for you.
Please stay safe, you are such a beautiful person, and I'm not talking just in looks, you are an inspiration for some of us. *hugs* <-- Wish I could really hug ya right now.
Natalie,
I hope you're doing better. But I thought I should post this link anyway.
Suicide Hotlines--Numbers You Can Call (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,112545.0/topicseen.html)
There are various crisis lines there that you can call. I'd like to add the following to the list.
GLBT National Help Center
GLBT National Hotline: 1-888-843-4564
San Francisco Night Ministry
SF Night Ministry Crisis Line: 1-415-441-0123
I can personally vouch for SF Night Ministry. They are non-judgemental, have trans persons on their staff, and can have great crisis line counsellors.
Natalie,
Please let us know you're OK.
Meth is not going to help you, it will only hurt you. Seek help. Please.
It sounds cliche, but hang in there. I haven't touched meth in 7 years. Surround yourself with sober people if you can. Weed was definitely something that helped me, but you have to be very careful not to go overboard or just let it replace dealing with your own urges - it's too easy sometimes.
Good luck and keep us posted. Lots of people here care, as you can see.
I did it all back in 85 but then went to a NA meeting and the speaker spoke and well i took up the rest of the meeting and well i kept coming back. I also hng out with people from NA and AA and went to club houses they have. I then went on to build homes for recovering addicts and alcoholics. i did that for 13 yrs.. I can only say that you have to want to live and not be addicted to a simple chemical of the earth. Its kinda so simple when you think about it. Here you are more than one simple chemical. Your a conglomeration of molecules which make organs which makes up you and you are letting one simple chemical control that??? Nooo your not just a simple chemical your a whole lot more and able to defete that simple chemical. Its that simple. They say keep it simple stupid KISS .. well thats how i kept it simple and i even quit smoking cigss etc etc.. so now you know how to look at it.. Your able to look at it because you are a hman and not just a simple chemical... Oh i told all the dealers i might be a narc and so they shouldn't trust me and sell to me .. that kept them away.. i burnt those bridges.. i built new ones to good recovery people who lived life and did so many wonderful things.. you can too .. hey if you need a place out in the country in central pa to come to where you won't find any drugs here your welcome to come stay here.. hugs Danielle
Thx everyone im still around... just been trying to get through this
Quote from: Natalie <3 on May 09, 2012, 10:57:07 AM
Thx everyone im still around... just been trying to get through this
Seeing your post is a huge relief.
Yes, it can be a cliche, but hang in there. We're here for you.
@>--`---,----
I am still falling but i did sleep for 2 or 3 hrs...
Quote from: Natalie <3 on May 09, 2012, 11:09:18 AM
I am still falling but i did sleep for 2 or 3 hrs...
call NA
http://www.na.org/?ID=Contacts-content (http://www.na.org/?ID=Contacts-content)
go to a meeting
http://portaltools.na.org/portaltools/MeetingLoc/ (http://portaltools.na.org/portaltools/MeetingLoc/)
you will find some of the kindest people in the world there.. those with at least a few yrs.. stay away from newcomers..
hugs Danielle
im gonna see if my friend can flush it for me... and my other good friend is in denver he is really worried about me.. i have alot of good friends they will take care of me and help me get better
Thx everyone for caring I havent felt welcome here alot.
Friends are good and can help you out, but treatment is the best way to achieve your long term goals. Getting clean is going to free you to live a better life. Hugs, Devlyn
Quote from: Devlyn Marie on May 09, 2012, 01:07:26 PM
Friends are good and can help you out, but treatment is the best way to achieve your long term goals. Getting clean is going to free you to live a better life. Hugs, Devlyn
ditto Because sometimes friends become ENABLERS and let us get away with our ->-bleeped-<-
the friends i have are really really good 2 of my best friends dont know yet.... they were wondering where i was cuz we always talk everyday... one of my guy friends who likes me made me watch the faces of meth. I have really good friends =)..
I think im doing well today though giving the fact that i still have some next to me but i dont wanna touch it
Glad to hear that :)
You should definitely be keeping up contact as much as possible with the friends who can help you stay clean.
Quote from: Natalie <3 on May 09, 2012, 03:17:37 PM
the friends i have are really really good 2 of my best friends dont know yet.... they were wondering where i was cuz we always talk everyday... one of my guy friends who likes me made me watch the faces of meth. I have really good friends =)..
I think im doing well today though giving the fact that i still have some next to me but i dont wanna touch it
I saved my last ciggarette which is now many many yrs old when i quit. However, its not illegal. You could be in for some bad trouble if you kept it.. I would toss it in the toilet and call it a donation to your future and please tell as many peopls as possible but they should be people in NA who you can trust and not make you feel less than them because they are close friends and they will see you as a user..
all of them told me they are not mad at me... at all.
Might I know why on earth you have some next to you and it's still not in the toilet bowl? You're playing with fire.
i think that shows im strong right? and in any case i was being lazy... i just flushed it all
Whichever the case, that's a good thing. Congratulations!
Quote from: Natalie <3 on May 09, 2012, 06:54:45 PM
i just flushed it all
Proud of you for that Natalie :) Best thing you could have done :) Stay strong Sis. We're all here for you
It can't hurt you now that it's down the drain. My poison was alcohol, readily available, socially acceptable, it was hard to avoid. We're all pulling for you! Hugs, Devlyn
the addiction i had before this was sex. It def is a hard one because that is something u face everyday. Hormones help bring it down.. but its still something i have to face.
Quote from: Natalie <3 on May 09, 2012, 08:48:02 PM
the addiction i had before this was sex. It def is a hard one because that is something u face everyday. Hormones help bring it down.. but its still something i have to face.
I think this is really something you have to deal with head on with therapy and maybe even some group meetings, or even medication and there is no shame in that :). Hoping you get better
XO
i usually dont feel comfortable around ppl... the only person id prob talk to is a bf... which im falling for someone he was making sure i was ok the entire time... He didnt judge me or say i was a bad person ... im glad i have him.
Quote from: Natalie <3 on May 09, 2012, 06:54:45 PM
i think that shows im strong right? and in any case i was being lazy... i just flushed it all
One little step at a time. I'm proud of you.
Quote from: Natalie <3 on May 09, 2012, 06:54:45 PM
i think that shows im strong right? and in any case i was being lazy... i just flushed it all
Yes great step. That is the first.
Next is to get to a NA meeting so you can stay connected to people like yourself. There you can start working on the 12 steps. That is the next most important thing. If you just rely on your BF well if you have a falling out (and all relationships have their ups and downs) then you can easily go right back. However, if you have friends from NA they can be there for you. You and all of us need people we can share our troubles. Please take this next important step.
Well done Nat, stay strong!
My brother is an addict and from that experiance, i think the best thing I think you can do is stay away from temptation, and surround yourself with people who will be a positive influence..you can beat it!
Nat I strongly encourage you to seek the help of a professional. I have a great deal of respect for the peer support you get here as well as from your freinds. I have rather lurked and kept track of you over the last few months and have serious concerns that you need something more than what we can provide from the other side of a monitor. I understand money may be an issue but as Im sure you know heath care is required to take care of you at some level and I belive that is far better than the peer care you are getting here. I can speak from first hand experiance and a professional is trully geared to get you thru this. Trust me you will be a MUCH MUCH happier person!
Hope it's still going well.