ahh ok so I'm a senior in high school atm, and my senior prom's coming up. Now I initially didn't want to go cause i'm not out yet at all, but i've been dressing very masculine, and do pass 80-90% of the time, but my friend's have been wanting me to go, so why not ....I guess (they expected me to wear a dress, but i instantly refused, and they started questioning....i eventually argued my way out ..barely >.>;;;...that whole thing made me feel pressured to come out.. if not then, i probably will sometime soon )but, I'm definitely not going in a dress though, that's for sure. I was thinking about a dress shirt, waistcoat, and dress pants... is that formal enough? Did you guys ever go? If so, how'd it go? I'm utterly clueless and nerve wrecked.
Yes, I went to prom. Awkward, I wore a dress, took my 15 year old step-cousin (I was 18) and basically it was awkward and I hated it, if I could go back and do it over I would either not go or go in a tux. And the awkward prom photo is on our living room wall right now (6 years later). I hate looking at it.
I think that sounds fine for prom.
I went to prom. I wore a dress and was there for maybe an hour. If I could change it, I would never have gone. I hate dances and I only went because my mom said I'd regret not going. I regret going. It was the biggest waste of time and money.
That sounds decent to wear to prom.
I never went to any of or proms though. They were too expensive for me and our school is filled with snobby people. It would have been a cold day in hell before I wore a dress. The closest thing I would have considered going to was our Military Ball and I would have worn my Service Dress Suit. I'm a large person so I was already issued the male Service Dress Suit but a female went to the Millitary Ball in one that she had to get exactly for that night because the rules were either a dress for the women (or the rare route of the Service Dress suit for males which she did) and the Service Dress suit for the males and a female had to enter in with a male.
Needless to say everyone talked about that girl behind her back since then about her dressing up like that so that in part based my decision not to go to proms where the rest were just too snobby if I was going to wear a tux.
Compromise
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.frasersformen.co.uk%2Fprom_kilt.jpg&hash=b0f801045a84a2044d3d012d2cab879933f35a91)
(Real prom picture)
I second Jamie's suggestion, kilts are always great :D
But your suggestion'd work for prom. Or you could wear a suit/tux, if you can afford that-probably your best bet.
I wore a dress to my prom and a suit to my senior ball.
That's sounds cool, I wore a suit to my prom, everyone had kind of guessed by then or if they hadn't then they had suspicions :p good luck though
Lynn, just needed to say: MEEVERS! :D <3 雅
I didn't go to either of my formals (basically like an Aussie prom I think?) and I didn't regret it. I was out for the second of those, but still decided not to go, as I thought it would be awkward and it really wasn't my scene. I did go to a formal when I was in year 9 (the school was so small everyone year 7 and up went) and got crowned 'belle' of the ball. Yeah...not cool. I didn't know why I hated it at the time, but my 20/20 hindsight has cleared some things up... :P
I'd say if you don't feel like it, don't let your friends bully you into going (my friends tried soooooo hard). At the end of the day it's an expensive dinner in funny clothes, and it's certainly not the life-changing event movies make it out to be! :P
I wore a dress to my prom XP. Despite the fact that I was really uncomfortable, I still had a lot of fun. I was there with my friends just dancing, noming the delicious food, taking pictures, "stealing" and switching dates (though I went stag :'P), ect. The only thing that ruined it was some dumbass "friend" decided to lose his ->-bleeped-<- because someone mildly upset his new girlfriend. It's a story unrelated to this so I won't go into detail XP. Anyway, other than that, my prom was fun :'D!
As for the attire, that's perfectly fine. Kilts are good too :'P. You might also want to look into your prom's theme to see if it gives you freedom to do anything gender-neutral. I also remember when I was in high school one radio station would pay for all prom expenses for any girl (or "girl" xD) who was willing to wear a tux to prom. I regret not going for that ;_;. If for some reason you find anything that cool, then do it :'D!
there have been lots of publicity with crossdressers at proms in USA and here in Uk so its not unheard of but depends on whether you are brave enough to do it? As in what will family and schoolfriends, teachers say?
I'll start a new topic about the MtF equivalent to a prom.
we didn't really had proms on my first school, it was called a prom but nobody took it seriously and just weared what they felt like.
I had a tie and it was it and most people just came in very casual clothing.
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I refused pretty much my second prom (cause I felt mentall ill that day, and couldnt really stand the social presure around me)
the third prom was great, I was dressing up with a shirt and tie and me and my partner + the people around us had a fun time.
and the forth.. well I am not really invited, cause I am a guy, and the guy who is there is a guy =(..
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I only weared formal clothing 2 times I remember, I had a suit on when I was a kid, but its long ago and I dont remember it,
when I was to the prom I had very light formal clothes on, and once I was in london I wore my brothers suit for a musical night.
I almost never got comments about it, exept the time in london where some guy pointed out it where strange I wore a male suit bla bla bla.. and I have never wore a dress for formal.
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so I think you should go with what you feel like, its not like your mtf, so most people probably wouldn't mind that your wear is boyish, and if they do, then s*** those.
Quote from: Bane on May 09, 2012, 02:49:53 AM
Lynn, just needed to say: MEEVERS! :D <3 雅
I didn't go to either of my formals (basically like an Aussie prom I think?) and I didn't regret it. I was out for the second of those, but still decided not to go, as I thought it would be awkward and it really wasn't my scene. I did go to a formal when I was in year 9 (the school was so small everyone year 7 and up went) and got crowned 'belle' of the ball. Yeah...not cool. I didn't know why I hated it at the time, but my 20/20 hindsight has cleared some things up... :P
I'd say if you don't feel like it, don't let your friends bully you into going (my friends tried soooooo hard). At the end of the day it's an expensive dinner in funny clothes, and it's certainly not the life-changing event movies make it out to be! :P
xD I never heard of that nickname until now.
I also second the rest of this post. Don't go if you don't want to go.
Quote from: Bane on May 09, 2012, 02:49:53 AM
I didn't go to either of my formals (basically like an Aussie prom I think?) and I didn't regret it. I was out for the second of those, but still decided not to go, as I thought it would be awkward and it really wasn't my scene.
Same here. Didnt go to the school prom at the end of secondary school at 16, because I wasnt wearing a dress and just, no. It wasnt happening.
And I didnt go to the 6th form college prom at 18 either because I was too depressed at the time over my transition frustrations :/
But I think what you are considering InstantRamen to wear, is a good idea and sounds like it should be fine. I do wish I had been able to go to one, so if you do go, just try to enjoy yourself for you and your own memory of it, dont let others ruin it for you if they try to.
If I go this year - I probably will, just to see how bad it is (my year have been left in charge of organising it all) - I'll be wearing my female suit because it's not really THAT feminine and was £60 (that's expensive for clothes to me) so I'm not too keen on buying another one, black trousers, black shirt, and a skinny lime green tie.
It's been written in the prom rules that I can wear a suit even though I'm not out "-Dress Code- No dress above the knee, this is a classy evening ladies! Lads in suits please. [Birthname] you can wear a suit." which I found pretty amusing.
I'd say what you were planning to wear is totally fine, although if you do need to go more formal a jacket would be all you need. A waistcoast should fine though, especially as you're not and won't be expected to dress totally as a guy.
GO! Don't be nervous. From your profile image - you're going to look damn handsome!
I'd give anything to go back to my formal and wear the suit I wanted. (They made me wear a dress. All Girls Catholic school).
Here in Brisbane the LGBT community has actually planned a "Second Prom" this June/July. So that all the girls and guys that had to wear something horrible, can relive their formal the way they want to.
I'm excited!
Thanks everyone! feeling a bit more confident about this ;D
I didn't go to mine. I graduated early when I was 17 and there's no one I would have wanted to take (and no one asking me). I loathed all the "school function" type of stuff anyway. I wanted to get the hell out of there and never look back.
Quote from: Malachite on May 09, 2012, 12:57:22 AM
the rules were either a dress for the women (or the rare route of the Service Dress suit for males which she did) and the Service Dress suit for the males and a female had to enter in with a male.
That sounds like some bull->-bleeped-<- you couldn't have paid me to put up with.
I went to my senior prom with a buddy of mine and we wore matching tuxes. At the time I was only out to my friends as trans, but out to the rest of my school as gay.
Quote from: InstantRamen on May 08, 2012, 10:29:37 PM
ahh ok so I'm a senior in high school atm, and my senior prom's coming up. Now I initially didn't want to go cause i'm not out yet at all, but i've been dressing very masculine, and do pass 80-90% of the time, but my friend's have been wanting me to go, so why not ....I guess (they expected me to wear a dress, but i instantly refused, and they started questioning....i eventually argued my way out ..barely >.>;;;...that whole thing made me feel pressured to come out.. if not then, i probably will sometime soon )but, I'm definitely not going in a dress though, that's for sure. I was thinking about a dress shirt, waistcoat, and dress pants... is that formal enough? Did you guys ever go? If so, how'd it go? I'm utterly clueless and nerve wrecked.
hopefully my reply isn't belated, but...i think you definitely should go, i went through a similar situation for middle school (not so much for high school due to irrelevant issues). if you've been so masculine presenting all this time, it's not like you'd be doing something that dramatic. since you hadn't come out yet your friends are still stuck in the "let's try to get the femme side out of this person" thought process (if you're like me it probably annoys you to no end). yes, you'll probably be nervous that people are judging you. but just think of how happy you'll be to remember standing up for yourself and feeling comfortably dressed.
btw i didn't go to my own sr. prom but went to my gf's and i thought it was adequately formal to wear a shirt, tie, and dress pants; i remember the standard "uniform" included the waistcoat but it'll be dark and you'll be overheating less (if you intend to dance) if you do without it. you're call, fancy it up if you feel like, i just happened to wear stuff i owned already. no one will care as long as you wear typical dressed up stuff, everyone will be too busy socializing and looking around/wandering through the venue.
and don't be too worried about coming out; if these people are your friends and are not blind to how you dress and act, yet still are your friends, you have good chances of positive or neutral reception. (based on my experience: you'll be surprised at how nonchalantly most people respond. in fact it's often a rather anticlimactic thing after all the stressing you'll probably do-even if you expect to be accepted)
plus, college is coming up (assuming you intend to continue in school); all i can say is make good hs memories while you can dude.
good luck.
p.s. nice to see another asian guy out there, represent! ;D