Not with angst nor rhetorical violence.
Nor hate.
It could be a function of my present state of mind, or maybe it's essentially a function of who I am psychologically, but this is not in any way breaking my heart.
Fundamentally the familial love remains but frankly, I could not care less.
Oddly enough perhaps, my soon to be ex-wife does accept who I am and the love, although markedly different, is still there. She cannot co-exist any longer, but I understand this completely.
Part of my reaction has roots also in notable cognitive and emotional 'battle scars' acquired over so many years and accordingly, it is difficult not to be jaded and bitter.....
But for the most part, the primary genre of how I feel is a function of 'principle' if you will, in the context of a searing and sordid history, secondary to the endurance over many years of intense TS and secondary cognitive and emotional 'spin-off' dysfunctional modes.
Condensed, "I finally discovered who and what I am in 2005 after suffering hideously from the effects of self ignorance and trying with futility to live a diametrically inverse pretentious mere existence; if you will not nor cannot accept me now for who I really am, that represents your problem and not mine and I will graciously leave you as you wish to be, for I have a life to live."
Given the gravity of the affliction, the history and the necessity to transition, to finally become who I should have been many a year ago, existing familial ties with they who will not accept who I am will be summarily discarded.
Their rejection hardly comes as a surprise, although it is to a minor degree, disappointing.
Disappointing and nauseating, that is. It would seem that love is indeed, finite in many cases.
Yes, indeed.
This seems to be one place where the GL's seem to meet the T's in the scheme of things.
Coming out to one's family. >:(
Often leading to loss of everything you'd ever known.
What I learned from this trauma?
Home is where you choose to live, and family is who you choose to share your life with.
It doesn't cure the problem, but it sure makes it better.
And there is always tomorrow.
It took my Mother ten years to come around, but I'm glad I waited. :laugh:
I guess all good things do come to those who wait?
Best of luck to you.
Oh God.....
Tears,....yours...touched the heart.
"Profound Simplicity"
An elegant coping strategy, yet not the optimum that we would hope and pray for,...
So we do what we must do, in order to cope and to survive emotionally.
And we must survive, yes??
hi,this is elvira i like your story an i feel that my family an friends just fell off the earth an they do not want to talk to me much any more but i came out last oct 2006 an it was hard at first but i am fine now .I think it is nice to know that there are many of us that are alike that are tg -mtf -srs .i have felt like a woman in a mans body for many years an i am ready to come out thank you by now.