A couple of day's ago, I heard a page over the company PA system for my old name by someone who knows me quite well and has for years. I ignored it. So when I saw him today I told him " You paged me by my old name. Do you have a problem with my new name? I know some people have an issue with it so they just call me by my last name."
He shrugged and said, "Nah, But why are you getting bent out of shape? If I changed my name it wouldn't bother me one bit."
"I would call you by your new name because I know how it feels to not be given that courtesy. Hell, people around here don't even respect my gender identity. "
He then said "You shouldn't be so sensitive about it."
"Well... I am and I do not and will not answer to that name anymore."
I had to walk away. I really did. I was so mad at him I was shaking. Why shouldn't I be so sensitive? It only took 33 years to get the damned thing and it is my name!
Quote from: Keaira on May 16, 2012, 11:44:37 PM
He shrugged and said, "Nah, But why are you getting bent out of shape? If I changed my name it wouldn't bother me one bit."
You could always test the theory. From now on, call him Quentin, or Rosenkrantz. See how long actually being called a name that he has no identification with doesn't bother him for.
*big hug*
LOL. *hugs back*
It wouldn't work. He's the kind of guy that would shrug it off and not care. lol. I'd already considered that.
-BIG HUGS-
I wish I knew what to say. I'm hesitant to suggest doing anything because I don't know if you live in the type of area where they can fire you for anything. I know you haven't felt the happiest about your job lately so I hope that sometime in the near future you are able to find an even better job so you don't have to put up with that crap.
Hang in there Keaira. Better times will be ahead.
Maybe just ignore the old name altogether, hon. As if they're literally talking to, or about, someone else. I mean, if folks know your actual name, and choose not to use it, then surely you can't be held accountable for not answering to a name that legally, mentally and emotionally doesn't belong to you.
If no one gets any response to it whatsoever, even if they're being deliberately awkward because they know it will get a reaction, then eventually they'll have little choice but to stop using it since it will have no effect and whatever they want will go unanswered.
I think sometimes, folks do things precisely because they know it will bother someone. But if you don't rise to it, they literally have nowhere to go.
I am ignoring my old name. I mean I won't even check my company email because they wont change the name on it. If they fire me then so be it. I'll take a breather, send out more job applications and draw unemployment for a while.
I understand your frustration.
I'm in a particularly strange situation in that I have to keep my male name. But I also use my female name. My career track record etc is linked to my male name. So to continue I have to keep it. But my life is linked to my female name.
To be honest, and I know I'm in a different position to many, I'm enjoying it. I have totally confused people everywhere. But Goddess it makes them think.
I am their boss >:-) >:-)
Cindy
Quote from: Keaira on May 16, 2012, 11:44:37 PM
He then said "You shouldn't be so sensitive about it."
Where does he get off telling you how sensitive you should or shouldn't be?
Whenever anyone tells me I'm too something or not enough something else, my answer is always "for who?"
Girl, you just go on being yourself! Whoever doesn't like it, that's their problem.
I agree with agfrommd. "Should" statements suck. I've also found that people tend to accuse others of being sensitive whenever they are trying to put the blame on the other person.
Quote from: Keaira on May 17, 2012, 03:47:04 AM
I am ignoring my old name. I mean I won't even check my company email because they wont change the name on it. If they fire me then so be it. I'll take a breather, send out more job applications and draw unemployment for a while.
Just a quick question. Did you do a legal/official name change? If so, there is no good reason why the company should not change it as well in the records.
Bad time to be without a job. I think it is going to get worse before it gets better. Stick it out, if you can.
Quote from: Jamie D on May 17, 2012, 05:48:02 AM
Just a quick question. Did you do a legal/official name change? If so, there is no good reason why the company should not change it as well in the records.
Bad time to be without a job. I think it is going to get worse before it gets better. Stick it out, if you can.
Even after I had my legal documents my company wouldn't change it until I had the new Social Security card to "prove" it, but then they changed it immediately.
I will follow up that if you have changed it with Social Security then they may HAVE to change you name in the system.
Quote from: Jeneva on May 17, 2012, 08:27:45 AM
Even after I had my legal documents my company wouldn't change it until I had the new Social Security card to "prove" it, but then they changed it immediately.
I will follow up that if you have changed it with Social Security then they may HAVE to change you name in the system.
Good point