Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Community Conversation => Non-binary talk => Topic started by: aleon515 on May 21, 2012, 10:06:13 PM

Title: Words I hate!
Post by: aleon515 on May 21, 2012, 10:06:13 PM
Ma'am and worse madam, ladies (or lady).....

--Jay Jay
Title: Re: Words I hate!
Post by: ~RoadToTrista~ on May 22, 2012, 12:10:47 AM
Quote from: casey on May 21, 2012, 11:47:39 PM
Ughh I know! I don't even know any ciswomen who like that stuff.

Hey! I'm not cis but I love being called lady. ;D But not ma'am, makes me sound like I'm 40 lolz.
Title: Re: Words I hate!
Post by: suzifrommd on May 22, 2012, 01:18:50 PM
Manly or unmanly
Title: Re: Words I hate!
Post by: Kinkly on May 26, 2012, 07:43:18 PM
I hate sir and Mister but put up with them all the time if I'm in the right mood when somebody calls me sir I ask if that is spelt with a C or an S with standard response for the C being at least you didn't miss gender me C would mean they said Cur :D normally I don't say anything. 
Title: Re: Words I hate!
Post by: peky on May 26, 2012, 08:45:47 PM
trans, transsexual, cis, transwoman, passing, life style,
Title: Re: Words I hate!
Post by: Devlyn on May 26, 2012, 08:51:57 PM
"I didn't make gravy."
Title: Re: Words I hate!
Post by: Taka on May 28, 2012, 02:21:18 PM
all those words meant as compliments but only make it sound like they want to force me to be someone else

my body is great for a woman, but generally wasted on me. i rarely feel womanly enough to want to show it off
Title: Re: Words I hate!
Post by: Metroland on May 28, 2012, 04:06:49 PM
Suit and tie.
Title: Re: Words I hate!
Post by: Edge on May 29, 2012, 10:20:21 PM
One of my friends once called me "ma'am." After looking up the etymology and finding that it is used by servants towards bosses, I told him that he is not my servant, but that could change. ;D
I despise the word "victim" when it is used in reference to myself.
Title: Re: Words I hate!
Post by: Ash on May 30, 2012, 10:13:10 AM
I went to a convention and some guy called me sweetheart. It made me cringe. DO I LOOK LIKE A SWEETHEART?! NO!

Title: Re: Words I hate!
Post by: Brooke777 on May 30, 2012, 10:24:31 AM
handicapped.  I am not handicapped.  I may not be able to perform the same physical functions as everyone else, but I am not handicapped.
Title: Re: Words I hate!
Post by: Mx.Fox on May 30, 2012, 01:41:13 PM
If there's a reason i hate male pronouns more than female ones it's being called sir.
Title: Re: Words I hate!
Post by: aleon515 on May 30, 2012, 02:31:24 PM
Quote from: Edge on May 29, 2012, 10:20:21 PM
One of my friends once called me "ma'am." After looking up the etymology and finding that it is used by servants towards bosses, I told him that he is not my servant, but that could change. ;D

I'm guessing most of these "polite" terms (ma'am, sir, madam, etc.) were used for servant (even slave) to boss (or master) relationships. I think they retain the connotation of lesser to greater in some situations. In others, it's just considered polite address. I notice some (more casual) restaurants never use these as they are run with younger staff, where I am thinking they might seem archaic.

--Jay Jay
Title: Re: Words I hate!
Post by: Ariel on May 31, 2012, 12:16:51 AM
I also hate "sweetheart" or any of those overly familiar terms. Or "chick"... what does that even mean?

I have a tendency to call everyone "dude" regardless of gender, though. I blame 80's television.
Title: Re: Words I hate!
Post by: LordKAT on May 31, 2012, 12:21:27 AM
I think the bank with its repeatedly saying "Insufficient funds" has earned being words I hate.
Title: Re: Words I hate!
Post by: Sephirah on May 31, 2012, 12:40:02 AM
I don't particularly hate any words. However one that often makes me uncomfortable is 'passing'. Probably for two reasons: firstly it evokes images of some sort of clandestine operation (I suppose 'stealth' could also apply to that image), sneaking around in a chameleonic fashion so as to avoid rousing suspicion, using clothing and makeup as camouflage. Secondly the word 'passing' illicits a test of 'realness'. One which must be passed in order to be legitimate in one's identity. Since I don't see people in that way, the word doesn't sit well with me.
Title: Re: Words I hate!
Post by: Ariel on May 31, 2012, 12:59:21 AM
I agree with you there Sephira. And in different groups "passing" can be seen as positive or negative... in some discussions about autism I see "passing" being made to be a negative thing as if it means you're not "really" autistic or a positive thing as if the entire goal in life is to look/act like everyone else.

I take people as they say they are regardless of how they look... but then again I can understand the desire to fit in, I have that a lot.
Title: Re: Words I hate!
Post by: Jamie D on May 31, 2012, 01:04:40 AM
I find "can't" to be very limiting.
I find "won't" to be depressing.
Title: Re: Words I hate!
Post by: Taka on May 31, 2012, 06:28:01 AM
Quote from: Sephirah on May 31, 2012, 12:40:02 AM
I don't particularly hate any words. However one that often makes me uncomfortable is 'passing'. Probably for two reasons: firstly it evokes images of some sort of clandestine operation (I suppose 'stealth' could also apply to that image), sneaking around in a chameleonic fashion so as to avoid rousing suspicion, using clothing and makeup as camouflage. Secondly the word 'passing' illicits a test of 'realness'. One which must be passed in order to be legitimate in one's identity. Since I don't see people in that way, the word doesn't sit well with me.
i don't like the word too much either
where's the point in passing as something i am? i'd get it if it were passing as someone i'm not, but...
i don't have any desire to "pass" as anything. i only hope to be seen as me
Title: Re: Words I hate!
Post by: DrillQuip on May 31, 2012, 09:00:00 PM
"Proper"

I can't stand that word. Feels like its always used in a condescending way. As in "Your doing it wrong." or "I know what's best." "In my society this is how we do things."
Title: Re: Words I hate!
Post by: Ariel on May 31, 2012, 11:07:44 PM
Quote from: DrillQuip on May 31, 2012, 09:00:00 PM
"Proper"

I can't stand that word. Feels like its always used in a condescending way. As in "Your doing it wrong." or "I know what's best." "In my society this is how we do things."

I'm actually a fan of the word "proper," but I like Victorian/Steampunk things and it has that old-timey feel to me.

However, I'm definitely not a fan of condescention and I can see what you mean by that. I think maybe I ought to think more about how I use the word "proper"...
Title: Re: Words I hate!
Post by: suzifrommd on June 01, 2012, 08:07:57 AM
Quote from: DrillQuip on May 31, 2012, 09:00:00 PM
"Proper"

I can't stand that word. Feels like its always used in a condescending way. As in "Your doing it wrong." or "I know what's best." "In my society this is how we do things."

DrilQuip, I never thought of it that way, but I see what you mean. Society makes these rules that are harmful but no one ever questions them because there no one you can question them TO. It's like they've always existed. There's the "proper" way to do things, meaning someone, somewhere, sometime decided for everyone, everywhere, for all time how they would be done.
Title: Re: Words I hate!
Post by: aleon515 on June 01, 2012, 11:13:16 AM
Prim and proper, yes I don't like that either. But I was in the UK and got to like the word "proper" the way it is used there, as in right or the way it should be.

--Jay Jay
Title: Re: Words I hate!
Post by: peky on June 01, 2012, 06:07:03 PM
Have you found Jesus?
Title: Re: Words I hate!
Post by: Brooke777 on June 01, 2012, 06:12:50 PM
Quote from: peky on June 01, 2012, 06:07:03 PM
Have you found Jesus?

I didn't know he was lost.
Title: Re: Words I hate!
Post by: Devlyn on June 01, 2012, 06:24:37 PM
Check the milk cartons! Hugs, Devlyn
Title: Re: Words I hate!
Post by: peky on June 01, 2012, 06:33:38 PM
Quote from: Brooke777 on June 01, 2012, 06:12:50 PM
I didn't know he was lost.

Neither I!!! it come to me as a surprise since he is now 2045 YO.
Title: Re: Words I hate!
Post by: peky on June 01, 2012, 06:34:46 PM
Quote from: Devlyn Marie on June 01, 2012, 06:24:37 PM
Check the milk cartons! Hugs, Devlyn

I think an "Amber" alert is in order
Title: Re: Words I hate!
Post by: Brooke777 on June 01, 2012, 07:02:10 PM
Amber alert is for kids.  We need to file a missing deity report.
Title: Re: Words I hate!
Post by: Renee D on June 01, 2012, 07:08:20 PM
Has anyone notified the next of kin yet?
Title: Re: Words I hate!
Post by: Brooke777 on June 01, 2012, 07:09:26 PM
The Father already knows...He is with him actually.  So, I guess the mystery is solved.
Title: Re: Words I hate!
Post by: suzifrommd on June 02, 2012, 05:49:38 AM
Words I hate: "Gender confusion"

Not said much anymore in the psychological or medical community, but still in common lay use.

I am not confused about my gender. I know who I am. It just doesn't fit neatly into one of the usual categories.
Title: Re: Words I hate!
Post by: Edge on June 02, 2012, 07:05:08 AM
Quote from: agfrommd on June 02, 2012, 05:49:38 AM
Words I hate: "Gender confusion"

Not said much anymore in the psychological or medical community, but still in common lay use.

I am not confused about my gender. I know who I am. It just doesn't fit neatly into one of the usual categories.
Some people are confused though. It's ok for people to be in the process of figuring out their gender (myself included lol).
Yeah, it's frustrating when people tell you you're confused or wrong about yourself when you're not.
Words I hate include "should" statements such as "you shouldn't feel that way," "you should think what I think you should think," or "you shouldn't be this way." I also hate when they dispense with the "should" and replace it with "is." For example, "You are ___."
Title: Re: Words I hate!
Post by: justmeinoz on June 02, 2012, 07:42:13 AM
"Mate", by men.  It seems to be a generational thing to call a woman "mate".  I can take it from female friends but not 'blokes in shops'.

Also 'arks' instead of 'ask'; 'impact' as a verb instead of 'have an impact on', 'affect' would be preferable to either;  'agreeance'; and worst of all using 'that' to refer to people.  'That' is for objects, 'who' is for people.  People are not objects.

It might seem pedantic, but imprecise language use indicates imprecise, sloppy thinking.

Karen.
Title: Re: Words I hate!
Post by: suzifrommd on June 02, 2012, 09:12:12 AM
Quote from: Edge on June 02, 2012, 07:05:08 AM
Some people are confused though. It's ok for people to be in the process of figuring out their gender (myself included lol).

Right. Gender confusion used to be a psychiatric term meaning someone who is acting differently from their biological gender, and some people still use it this way. It makes a whole lot more sense the way you're using it.

Quote from: Edge on June 02, 2012, 07:05:08 AMWords I hate include "should" statements such as "you shouldn't feel that way," "you should think what I think you should think," or "you shouldn't be this way."

I had a teacher once who said he hated people "shoulding on him". The pronunciation is funnier if you whisper it.
Title: Re: Words I hate!
Post by: Brooke777 on June 02, 2012, 09:15:42 AM
Words I hate are absolutes.  Such as:
Can't
Never
Has to

Things like that.  There are almost no absolutes in this world, so I can't stand them.
Title: Re: Words I hate!
Post by: Renee D on June 02, 2012, 09:22:40 AM
Quote from: Brooke777 on June 02, 2012, 09:15:42 AM
Words I hate are absolutes.  Such as:
Can't
Never
Has to

Things like that.  There are almost no absolutes in this world, so I can't stand them.
really?      :P     
Title: Re: Words I hate!
Post by: Brooke777 on June 02, 2012, 09:31:07 AM
I was hoping someone would catch that. 
Title: Re: Words I hate!
Post by: Metroland on June 02, 2012, 12:25:18 PM
Quote from: justmeinoz on June 02, 2012, 07:42:13 AM
It might seem pedantic, but imprecise language use indicates imprecise, sloppy thinking.
What's wrong with sloppy thinking?  :P
Title: Re: Words I hate!
Post by: Brooke777 on June 02, 2012, 12:27:55 PM
Not everyone, to include myself, are the most eloquent speakers.  I do not think imprecise speech indicates sloppy thinking. Also, what is sloppy thinking?
Title: Re: Words I hate!
Post by: aleon515 on June 02, 2012, 03:15:23 PM
Quote from: agfrommd on June 02, 2012, 05:49:38 AM
Words I hate: "Gender confusion"
...I am not confused about my gender. I know who I am. It just doesn't fit neatly into one of the usual categories.

Ok, speak for yourself. :)
I am still confused. I'm actually getting to a little place where I might, at some future point, if possible, maybe :) embrace my inner confusion and enjoy it.

--Jay Jay
Title: Re: Words I hate!
Post by: Pica Pica on June 02, 2012, 06:04:07 PM
I have grown to hate the words 'passion' 'enthusiasm' and 'awesome' - mainly because they were originally made to serve strong, emotions and have been watered down into blandness through overuse and misuse.
Title: Re: Words I hate!
Post by: Edge on June 03, 2012, 09:23:57 AM
this is just a little quirk, but I don't like "wom" words. Wombat is fine because they're cute, but "woman" and "womb" bug me. Don't know why. The "wom" sound just feels and sounds weird to me.
Title: Re: Words I hate!
Post by: Taka on June 03, 2012, 04:03:25 PM
Quote from: peky on June 01, 2012, 06:07:03 PM
Have you found Jesus?
one of the most pointless questions ever asked
especially since you can even read in the bible that nobody ever finds jesus, it's always him who finds his followers

Quote from: justmeinoz on June 02, 2012, 07:42:13 AM
Also 'arks' instead of 'ask'
it's a variation is pronunciation that has a very long history. the alternative for 'aksian' was found already in old english, and continued into middle english as 'axe'. this particular type of metathesis only appears in a very few words which all have a long history of it, and it's one of the features i really love in modern english. i don't want any bashing of something as cool as this (sorry, i'm a linguist...)
Title: Re: Words I hate!
Post by: Brooke777 on June 03, 2012, 04:09:17 PM
Taka,
Thank you for explaining the reason behind the alternative pronunciation of ask.  I have always wondered about it, and have asked many people who say "axe", and I have never gotten an answer.
Title: Re: Words I hate!
Post by: Taka on June 03, 2012, 04:30:11 PM
well, it can often be hard to explain why one's grandparents and their grandparents and their neighbors etc spoke like they did. it's just an alternative pronunciation of a word. and it's even grammatically correct in the dialects where it can be found, so there's not much point in trying to "correct" it. but it might still be a point in teaching the correct spelling, since written language is somewhat different from the spoken
Title: Re: Words I hate!
Post by: Pica Pica on June 03, 2012, 06:45:46 PM
of course it is good to remember that

Words (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hbUEGJKQ93c&feature=related#)

- Incidentally, I thought this was originally a Buddy Holly song, I'm sure I have it somewhere.
Title: Re: Words I hate!
Post by: V M on June 12, 2012, 03:18:50 AM
Quote from: Bailey's Irish on June 12, 2012, 03:02:30 AM
He was behind the couch the whole time.

Yours too? I didn't even know it until I laughed at a joke on T.V. and exclaimed "Oh Jesus!!!" and he said "What!?!"
Title: Re: Words I hate!
Post by: peky on June 12, 2012, 07:18:06 AM
any word appended to "-challenge," like: hygienically-challenged, socially-challenged, etc. What is with the  F&*%# sugar coating
Title: Re: Words I hate!
Post by: poptart on June 12, 2012, 02:22:22 PM
Quote from: peky on June 01, 2012, 06:07:03 PM
Have you found Jesus?

(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fa1.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net%2Fhphotos-ak-prn1%2F17564_287845179483_7724036_n.jpg&hash=db8b7b9b7078afbde001e7d626a9414f0fac0630)
Title: Re: Words I hate!
Post by: peky on June 12, 2012, 06:39:18 PM
Quote from: Metroland on June 02, 2012, 12:25:18 PM
What's wrong with sloppy thinking?  :P

Nothing ! Unless you are arming an atomic bomb!!!
Title: Re: Words I hate!
Post by: no-time-to-panic on June 19, 2012, 05:40:41 PM
"pro tip" when used in a debate or argument. I've only ever seen it used as a condescending way of stating your opinion, again.

Also, the word "at" at the end of a question bugs the hell out of me.
Title: Re: Words I hate!
Post by: Pica Pica on June 19, 2012, 06:15:42 PM
So the song 'where's your head at?' is not a favourite then?
Title: Re: Words I hate!
Post by: no-time-to-panic on June 19, 2012, 06:56:42 PM
Quote from: Pica Pica on June 19, 2012, 06:15:42 PM
So the song 'where's your head at?' is not a favourite then?

Haha, I'm afraid not.

It's just a pet-peeve an old English teacher drilled into me. Where I'm living, the phrase "Where you at?" is used incessantly, and it drives me bonkers.
Title: Re: Words I hate!
Post by: aleon515 on June 19, 2012, 10:46:52 PM
Actually I hate the "where are you coming from" and "where's your head at" etc et al, as it is some of the ridiculous psychobabble and not grammar. I hate psychobabble. I went thru a time in my life where there was all psychobabble all the time.  ::)

--Jay Jay
Title: Re: Words I hate!
Post by: V M on June 20, 2012, 09:16:14 PM
Um, when people um, constantly um say um while they are um talking it um makes me go um mad ape $#!t!!!  :icon_anger:  I um, notice this most during um videos that people um make and I um have to um shut the um vid. off before I um go um insane  :icon_crazy:
Title: Re: Words I hate!
Post by: V M on June 20, 2012, 09:42:55 PM
Let's not forget about when people begin a sentence with the words "I don't think" and then I'm immediately thinking how bold they are to so blatantly overstate the obvious  :laugh:
Title: Re: Words I hate!
Post by: ativan on June 21, 2012, 08:42:01 AM
'Awesome', when it's much less than that.

Ativan
Title: Re: Words I hate!
Post by: foosnark on June 21, 2012, 10:43:47 AM
Quote from: Bailey on June 20, 2012, 09:33:06 PM
I've noticed this almost only occurs in the English language. Out of the languages I speak, I have yet to hear an equivalent to "um" or "uh" in another language.

Some Japanese speakers will do this with "ano."  I may not understand 90% of the sentence but I know when they're umming.

Words I hate:  "umad?" and recycled internet sarcasm phrases like "cool story bro."
Title: Re: Words I hate!
Post by: Edge on June 21, 2012, 11:51:17 AM
Quote from: V M on June 20, 2012, 09:16:14 PM
Um, when people um, constantly um say um while they are um talking it um makes me go um mad ape $#!t!!!  :icon_anger:  I um, notice this most during um videos that people um make and I um have to um shut the um vid. off before I um go um insane  :icon_crazy:
Because I'm a dick:
Robin's Word ( But ummm) (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=socCN2NiTFM#)
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2F25.media.tumblr.com%2Ftumblr_m4ghb0tnOT1qe75x7o1_500.jpg&hash=b7990adaf03f9d0a2191f801346b9b8e34bdcd85)
Title: Re: Words I hate!
Post by: aleon515 on June 21, 2012, 01:59:25 PM
Quote from: Ativan on June 21, 2012, 08:42:01 AM
'Awesome', when it's much less than that.

Ativan

You'd hate me right now then. I have found that words like "hey", "hiya", awesome", "cool", "thanks man", etc. signal to the clerk that I am not someone who expects to be spoken to formally.

Awesome.  ;D

--Jay Jay
Title: Re: Words I hate!
Post by: Pica Pica on June 21, 2012, 05:01:24 PM
I have.. walking in the great hall at Hogwarts and down Diagon Alley was awe inspiring, as was the huge Hogwarts model.

The Queen's pageant on the water with the bell boat was awe inspiring.

I got a free tour of Westminster Abbey and parts of that are awe-inspiring. All them mouldering monarchs under your feet, and famous poets all rotting together.

In a lesser way, the book I recently finished was awe inspiring, and so was watching a battleship go under Tower Bridge, whilst standing on HMS Belfast. Sweeney Todd with Michael Ball and Imelda Staunton wasn't too bad either.

On Saturday I am going to a medieval charnel house, I am a lucky person indeed.
Title: Re: Words I hate!
Post by: ativan on June 21, 2012, 05:09:45 PM
Quote from: Bailey on June 21, 2012, 04:52:17 PM
I haven't seen anything awe inspiring lately to enable the use of the word "awesome."
my point...

Pica has left more than a few post's that leave me with a mellow sense of awe and inspiration.
That's awesome.
So are you Jay Jay...

Ativan
Title: Re: Words I hate!
Post by: aleon515 on June 22, 2012, 12:00:10 AM
Quote from: Ativan on June 21, 2012, 05:09:45 PM
my point...

Pica has left more than a few post's that leave me with a mellow sense of awe and inspiration.
That's awesome.
So are you Jay Jay...

Ativan

Aw Ativan!! That's a nice thing to say!
Pica, that IS awesome. (Esp the Hogwarts part!)

--Jay Jay
Title: Re: Words I hate!
Post by: Metal Stuart on June 28, 2012, 03:48:43 AM
I don't like when people call me cute. I'm not 5 years old, I'm a 23 year old dapper fellow  :laugh:

Also money, that word always brings trouble haha