I wrote about this jokingly here before but I felt enugh people knew so could just get it out in the open. I made a before and after pic and posted it on both my Jainie marlena facebook and James norville.i sent out friend request to everyone and waited.
Two days later my brother called me and I found out my dad was passing away. I took the kids and we got to see him before he died.He passed away the next day when I got home my sister called and told me.
I would have waited on outing myself if I knew this was going to happen. I have people tell me sorry about my dad and people asking me how could i do this to my family.I am getting support from my sister and brothers that i was not expecting.I have also set up a support group on facebook aslo.
All of my friends and family are moving to my new page which is great. I was asked to come to funeral as a guy which I understand for now.Everyone is asking me what I want to be called."Mardy"
I would show up in male attire, but I would act myself... plus a lil more girly just to spite them.
Seriously? How could you do this to your family? What have you done to them? Because being a girl doesn't hurt anybody.
Quote from: Alainaluvsu on May 23, 2012, 01:17:37 PM
I would show up in male attire, but I would act myself... plus a lil more girly just to spite them.
Seriously? How could you do this to your family? What have you done to them? Because being a girl doesn't hurt anybody.
yea people are stupid though and get scared over what they dont understand and then pretend its you being selfish instead of them
I'm very sorry for your loss *huggles*
Thank you *HUGES BACK*
Quote from: jainie marlena on May 23, 2012, 11:06:37 PM
Thank you *HUGES BACK*
i should pass on the religious help to a christian friend off mine , they are repressing their gender issues becuase of spiritual conflict .
Mardy,
You had no control over the death of your father. I know that it will be hard to let go of his passing with the unfortunate timing, but give it time and it will happen.
Yes, it would have been better to have waited, but it was not under your control. I agree with your decision to attend the funeral presenting as a male. It was respectful of the feelings of your family and your father's passing. It would not have been good to move the focus of the funeral from dealing with the grief to dealing with your transition. Your actions were respectful of others and that is always important in life.
Be happy for the acceptance you are gaining.
Hugs,
Joanna
Really the only thing that matters is how your father felt about it. If he was not able to understand what was happening then at least you tried to be honest, which trumps everything else in my book.
Given that you have no doubt been suffering from gender conflict for years, I would turn the question back on them and ask, "how can your family do that to you?" At a guess they probably haven't had a twinge of GID all their lives!
Karen
Sorry to hear about your father passing.
And you've done nothing to your family.
they should be happy for you.
i told my dad a few years ago. He kept to himself. He told me we all have things we have to face in life.
Jainie Marlena I got your PM, sorry I didn't get back to you sooner. Was having trouble with my computer. First things first, my condolences for the loss of your father. May God's love help you thru this time of sorrow.
In your PM are you referring to my post on terminology? There was some lovely discussion going on their. I would happy to PM you, but I am having trouble using it. Any help would be greatly appreciated. Peoples understanding of our unique situation is forgotten by the simple fact genetic material used to create us we didn't chose nor were we guaranteed of its quality or if variation was a possibility. We just have to live with it. Remember we were created by other human beings and they weren't God.
My condolences on your loss...
Thankfully, you were out to your father before so you know that you weren't trying to do anything to your family and ultimately it is something that may help if someone needs to understand. I usually have the worst luck. Just as I get up the nerve to say something really difficult, I find out usually later that X, Y, or Z was going on behind the scenes. I suppose being open on most things really is the best policy, I do find it a rather challenging thing to do though. It sounds like you have been doing all the right things in a very challenging situation. I hope that your family will be understanding. Big Hugs to you and all the best to your family!
My condolences Jainie Marlena!
Im so sorry for your loss there hun..
People say its your fault? Seriously? Wait, gimme a sec
-- processing things in my head --
I think people are just attributing your father passing away with you coming out. People tend to reason other's behaviour due to their actions or personality rather than the situation. In other words, theyre just saying that and they dont even know what theyre saying because all this happens on a subconscious level. You dont have to listen to people who doesnt think about how you would feel in advance, right? :D
Because people that really care about you would subconsciously think about how you would feel before saying something like that >:(
yeah, i see your point.