I just had my gender clinic few days ago, everything seem to be going well and think im alsmot there to get the letter for T, but then there was quistons i have to awswer, and one of them was i think it was about if i was being abused or has been abused from now or from the pass...i told them that i have always have been abused not cos of my gender but my disability too. Right when i told them i just burted out crying, im a very emotional person and will cry at anything small even a happy ending of the film, it just me im the person that crys at anything, that is why im looking forward to going on t and hoping that would make me a little less emotional.....
So then the person said oh i dont think your ready for it yet as you need to be a strong person overall and thinks i have ptsd....and was been told that i need to see a doctor and have counseling.....but i feel like i dont have ptsd.:S
That stinks. I think PTSD is way to frequently used. At one point they tried to convince me I had it, so I pulled out the DSM-IV and showed them I do not have it. Just because someone has had some tragic experiences in the past, does not mean they have PTSD. On the other hand, you might. If so, it would be nice to get it worked out. Good luck with the doctors.
I cried in front of my therapist and she didn't say "oh you need to be stronger in order to have T" I think that's a BS line. When talking about a strong or emotional situation it's understandable that you would get emotional and cry or show it somehow.
Quote from: Brooke777 on June 02, 2012, 05:02:51 PM
That stinks. I think PTSD is way to frequently used. At one point they tried to convince me I had it, so I pulled out the DSM-IV and showed them I do not have it. Just because someone has had some tragic experiences in the past, does not mean they have PTSD. On the other hand, you might. If so, it would be nice to get it worked out. Good luck with the doctors.
Thanks well i got the doctors next week will see what they say...
Quote from: Andy8715 on June 02, 2012, 05:04:20 PM
I cried in front of my therapist and she didn't say "oh you need to be stronger in order to have T" I think that's a BS line. When talking about a strong or emotional situation it's understandable that you would get emotional and cry or show it somehow.
I guess i kinda agree...this is my 3rd time that i went and i cryed in all three on front of my therapist, the person keeps asking if i was alright and i was fine just emotional, i have a feeling they just want to weste time or something....it just doing my head in and getting sick of waitting, i think i waitted long enough too. I'v told them and done everything they needed me to do. It seem it not enough for them.
I hate to play Devil's advocate but, being openly emotional is not considered "normal" for men. That might be one of the things your therapist is thinking about. That might be why he/she thinks you have PTSD. Quite a few men with PTSD are highly emotional. Others are the complete opposite (they show no emotion). It is a tricky thing. Stick to it, and you will get where you need to be. Sometimes it takes longer than we would like it to.
But as someone raised as a female, it's more likely for a pre-T trans man to cry. I cried all the time pre-T during emotional, stressful, or confrontational times. Now post-T 19 months, I'm just not emotional like that. We weren't conditioned as men (to not show emotion) we were conditioned as women. And I would expect a psychologist at a gender clinic to not be holding up such a BS stereotype.
I agree with you. The therapist should not use BS like that.
is there anyway i can tell or ask my therapist in a nice way, to see what she say and what she thinks, or shall i wait till after seeing the doctor...
also therapist did metion that i have a good physical, but not strong enough in the mental side or something like that.
Some therapists have strict policy where they will never show their notes to a patient. Others, do not mind. It never hurts to ask.
well i dont know if i know everything, but they did ask and read out to make sure everything i said is right...and said that i will need to do a questionnaire (which i have done), then they can look it up on the notes to see if i do have the gender identity disorder, and they will get back to me on that next time i go back in....but they did metion to get in touch if i have any qustions or any problems.
I cried a lot pre T. That in itself is really not a good barometer for anything, imho.
I personally don't think that crying should have any effect on it. I was just saying that the therapist might have thought that. Being highly emotional usually makes a therapist think that something else is going on. That is just from my experience. Every therapist is different.
Quote from: Brooke777 on June 02, 2012, 09:35:28 PM
I personally don't think that crying should have any effect on it. I was just saying that the therapist might have thought that. Being highly emotional usually makes a therapist think that something else is going on. That is just from my experience. Every therapist is different.
Oh ya I don't disagree. Personally, though, I'm a pretty messed up guy. I was a pretty messed up girl. I no longer cry so easily as I used to, but I still have the same problems. I feel lucky not to have been denied HRT over my emotionality. I feel a lot better just being able to go forward and have other people begin to perceive me the way I perceive myself.
Quote from: Andy8715 on June 02, 2012, 05:04:20 PM
I cried in front of my therapist and she didn't say "oh you need to be stronger in order to have T" I think that's a BS line. When talking about a strong or emotional situation it's understandable that you would get emotional and cry or show it somehow.
That's so much BS it's not even funny!! Men cry. It's a bunch of wacko "males have to be tough and never cry business". I think it causes a lot of problems in the world.
--Jay Jay
That does seem odd.
I was questioned about abuse and explained my being raped. They were VERY sensitive about it and even counselled me not to talk about it if it upset me. There were totally no negatives about it. It was more understanding my background that was important to them.
How I dealt with it was my problem although I was asked if I would like counselling about it at separate sessions. I declined.
Sorry to hear your negative response, it does not sound at all fair.
Hugs
Cindy
it's probaly been a unlucky situation, to be honest I also belive I would had been rejected if I had cried in front of someone giving me T, cause they wanna see someone who is very aware of it, and you dont seem so when you are crying.
But T isnt nessesarry going to make you less emotional, many people say they get alittle change in emotions, but if your are a very emotional guy, your probably gonna stay pretty emotional also after T.
--
btw love your rat.
Thanks, i have no idea where she get the idea of ptsd from anyway, the person said that it was normal to get upset, i was only just telling her the truth about what happen in the passed. As i thought they want to know anyway.....also i dont have any bad feelings thinking about it or anything it does hurt to talk about it, but i feel like that im a stronger person then i was before.
@ natkat thanks she was a lovely ratty i owned.
I think that crying is healthy. Any good therapist is taught that letting out your emotions is a good thing. I hope that things work out for you. And, I think it is very good to be open and honest especially during therapy.
That person is an idiot and has no clue what PTSD is.
Not only that, but I don't see how PTSD would negate gender issues.
Quote from: Brooke777 on June 02, 2012, 05:22:58 PM
I hate to play Devil's advocate but, being openly emotional is not considered "normal" for men. That might be one of the things your therapist is thinking about. That might be why he/she thinks you have PTSD. Quite a few men with PTSD are highly emotional. Others are the complete opposite (they show no emotion). It is a tricky thing. Stick to it, and you will get where you need to be. Sometimes it takes longer than we would like it to.
Well but if you are pre-T....
BTW, I have low estrogen levels and I am not as weepy as I used to be. Maybe just coincidence?
PTSD--not sure that high emotional levels like that are really PTSD in the slightest.
And anyway, couldn't you be a transguy and have PTSD at the same time. I don't see how they in anyway counter each other.
(I think there are few conditions, if you are reading the DSM where you rule out some condition, but I don't think that PTSD is one.)
Honestly I'd find someone else, if I could.
--Jay Jay
Quote from: aleon515 on June 03, 2012, 06:07:18 PM
Honestly I'd find someone else, if I could.
--Jay Jay
If i did find someone else would it mean i have to start over? Also the one im going to is the nearist and i need to get my mum to take me there.
QuoteNot only that, but I don't see how PTSD would negate gender issues.
It doesn't. Or shouldn't.
I've actually used my gender therapist to work through some of that stuff.
You do need to be strong to handle transition, but what does that have to do with crying?.
Being overly tearful can be a hormonal thing. I was like that before T, but am not anymore.
However, I can and do still shed tears...almost exclusively when working through past trauma. It is part of recovering from it.
Have you considered an online therapist?
Quote from: bojangles on June 04, 2012, 10:15:22 AM
Have you considered an online therapist?
i thought about it before when i was on the waitting list....is there any from the uk?
well my famliy dont understand either as they say im just a emotional person and it who i am...other then that i dont think i have any other mental problems.
Quoteis there any from the uk?
Dr. Graham Peveller is in England, I think.
Thanks for that, i found the site so i saved that to fav, incase things arent going well with the one im with, i thought they ment to help you look forward to things, not get your hopes up then make u down again.
Just got back from the doctor, she said that it doesnt sound like i have ptsd, and it is normal to be emotional it better to let it out then bottle it, and that everyone is different.
That is really great. It sounds like you saw a good doctor.