:angel: Ok I am conducting a bit of a social experiment here. I am presenting to you a picture. I already know what the picture is of and what I see, but I want to know what you all see. I want to hear from all types of people. I also want you to tell me what you see now vs what you would have seen in the picture before you started exploring the issues you are dealing with and before you started transitioning. I know what I see in this picture, but I want your honest opinion about the two people in the picture. Take 1 minute to study it, and tell me what you think is taking place and who you think the people in the picture are and how they each look, pay special attention to what you see in the face and the eyes. Try to be detailed but don't over analyze it.
I will post what it actually is after I have heard a few responses and what I see in the picture. ;)
*You will need to click on the picture to see it in detail*
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fapp5.websitetonight.com%2Fprojects%2F2%2F6%2F2%2F7%2F2627239%2Fuploads%2Fshawndance.jpg&hash=21be6d06926442a1cef335e27e79e887e06929cd)
Looks like a prom or something like that?
I see a girl in her middle to late teens (maybe 16~18?) and a boy in his early to middle teens (13~14) who is tall for his age and too young to be wearing a tux.
My first inclination is that these people are related to each other. Can't really tell you why I say that.
Photoshop trickery? both pics are the same person taken at different times?
I'm sure there's more to this picture than the obvious (as you will point out)..
...but at first glance the picture is of happy confident girl, shy and introvert guy..
The guy looks like a tall 13 year old who's weird and awkward to be around and the girl looks like a mormon-republican zombie. The girl is all happy faced and the guy is nervous. Both of them have ugly hairstyles, and the picture is kinda fuzzy so it's probably an old picture. They both look a couple years younger than me so I guess they're going to homecoming.
Uhm, most likely... The official picture of a couple for their end-of-studies ball? One with a weird theme, or one from another age when fashion was especially weird. I'm hesitating between a picture at the ball (because of the blue thingies) and one at home before leaving (because of the folding screen that doesn't have anything to do with a party). Or the extremely special wedding of an especially young couple, if it's them, or just with a weird theme.
The guy...
-He looks uneasy. He is either upset ("not a picture again" or "wtf is with this bow tie?") or very uneasy or nervous about the event itself or his partner.
-Since his hair is messy despite wearing formal wear, it may be that he was forced into all of this, or that he really did not care at all about any of this. Or maybe this was all very sudden and he had to come at the last minute or fill in for someone. Plus, it doesn't look like his clothes are properly worn (I think the vest is usually tied higher..?)
-He doesn't seem like he's very happy overall, regardless of his feelings for the event. Is he being forced on a career course he doesn't like? Has he been lying to someone? Does he like men despite having a girlfriend? Did something bad happen to him recently?
-He almost looks like he's holding on to the girl so that he won't flinch. He looks like he feels vulnerable. He feels like... Maybe, a delicate person who is required to be tough, maybe. In either case, someone is apparently asking too much of him. He's holding her way too tightly for the mood he seems to be in. Or maybe she's, like, his sister and the photograph told them to hug, and he found it weird, so he looks awkward.
The girl...
-She seems more genuinely happy than the guy.
-I'm not sure, but something in her eyes seems to say she's upset at something. Has she just forced her unwilling partner into the picture? Did her partner just do something she's angry about but she doesn't want it to show?
-Her hair leaves me perplexed. Is this a quickly arranged pathetic excuse of a hairstyle, or is it a trend of the times? The former might mean that the whole couple was forced into that event and she's just better at pretending to be happy... or that someone just messed with her hair and that's why she's upset. The latter, well doesn't mean any of that.
-Her clothes seem much more trendy than the guy's. Did the guy lose a bet? Or were girls' clothes considerably better than men's at the time?
-She's clinging to the guy much more genuinely than he does. Is the relationship one-sided? Is she trying to cheer him up? Is she just over-acting to look happy?
As for their relationship, if they're a couple (because they could very well be siblings, relatives or even friends, too), it looks like it's either one-sided, short-lived or in need of being fixed somehow... Or it could actually go well and the guy (and possibly the girl too) is having a bad day.
Some kind of prom or dance. The guy looks like an old version of your avatar. They seem like a typical young couple to me.
Quote from: Ms. OBrien on June 03, 2012, 05:19:30 PM
Some kind of prom or dance. The guy looks like an old version of your avatar. They seem like a typical young couple to me.
Ahh ok i better add a qualifier here, forget for the moment you think that's me, put all that aside and then what do you see.
a PINK bowtie
Quote from: Amazon D on June 03, 2012, 05:34:00 PM
a PINK bowtie
hehe yes, interesting isnt it?
A , well I won't say anything just yet, but I will say it is very possible a few things you have noticed is true, you seem to have the gift of discernment for sure.
Interesting replies.
I'd rather not say anything since I cannot be objective. I can take a fair guess why the picture is posted, and the intent behind it. So in this context anything I say will be biased and based on knowledge of something other than the picture itself.
Quote from: Sephirah on June 03, 2012, 05:48:46 PM
Interesting replies.
I'd rather not say anything since I cannot be objective. I can take a fair guess why the picture is posted, and the intent behind it. So in this context anything I say will be biased and based on knowledge of something other than the picture itself.
I don't mind if your not objective, but it is ok if you dont want to say. I get a certain feeling you might already know the intent.
The girl is happy, as in with her date. The guy not so much. The guy has a sadness in the eyes. Maybe a sense of jealousy of the girl.
Quote from: ShawnTOShawnna on June 03, 2012, 05:50:56 PM
I don't mind if your not objective, but it is ok if you dont want to say. I get a certain feeling you might already know the intent.
Indeed. However, it
is a very interesting experiment for how much people see based on what they already know and apply it to what they view. How much one draws on one's own feelings in a certain environment to influence their perceptions on something, even if they aren't aware they're doing it.
The interesting question is - would the replies be different if it were a different place, and a different person posting the image?
From my observation the first thing I notice is that they are not a couple. I don't think they even like each other in that way. Perhaps they are family members or close friends. The person on the right is either a rather young boy whom is tall for his age as others have said, or a rather butch woman. I am actually torn on that part. They look like they had some fun.
I think people might ba a little keen to discern transgender issues from just a picture of strangers... I know it was posted on this forum, but still.
QuoteThe person on the right is either a rather young boy whom is tall for his age as others have said, or a rather butch woman.
How did you come to this conclusion? :o *edit*
I am sitting here at my computer and I can't help myself I am rofl
Quote from: A on June 03, 2012, 06:28:45 PM
I think people might ba a little keen to discern transgender issues from just a picture of strangers... I know it was posted on this forum, but still.
I expect to see a wide range of responses here lol :laugh:
Tell us already! The season finale Of game of thrones is coming and now you have aroused my interest...
I see a happy young couple (male and female), perhaps about to go to the Prom.
(Ok, now I'll go read the whole thread)
Conjoined twins.
Quote from: ShawnTOShawnna on June 03, 2012, 06:54:29 PM
How did you come to this conclusion? :o *edit* I am sitting here at my computer and I can't help myself I am rofl
The eyes and the lips kinda give off that indication to me at least. ;)
I will be back later today, and after a few more replies will reveal what is hidden behind door #1 :angel:
Quote from: ShawnTOShawnna on June 04, 2012, 09:44:25 AM
I will be back later today, and after a few more replies will reveal what is hidden behind door #1 :angel:
your gonna have people ignore your threads playing games like this going on for two days.. you are new and people want answers or else they will ignore you big time in the future shame shame shame
Quote from: Amazon D on June 04, 2012, 03:21:09 PM
your gonna have people ignore your threads playing games like this going on for two days.. you are new and people want answers or else they will ignore you big time in the future shame shame shame
I agree with Amazon and you need to make you point fairly soon.
Um I was not playing games, I had to go to doctors all this morning and afternoon. Just got back home. I will explain everything after I take care of a few things around the house in about 1 hour :(
Well ok here goes! This was a picture given to me by my Aunt, she said I sent it to her when I was in high School. I don't remember sending it, I can't seem to remember the name of the girl in the picture. Here is what I remember, this was a Valentines Day Dance, the only dance I ever went to or was allowed to go to by the Catholic boys ranch I was living at during High School. I wrote on the back of the picture "This is a picture of me and a good friend of mine at the sweetheart dance." I can't hardly remember what happen there very well. I refer to this person as a good friend, and yet i can't really recall. The Medication they had me on really messed up some of my memories and I was going though hell with my family and the boys ranch in other areas. What I do know is that I do recall feeling uncomfortable and uneasy about the dance. This girl was not someone I was romantically involved in. I know she was a friend I just can't seem to place all the details.
When I got this picture from my aunt, I saw for the 1st time how soft and feminine I looked in the 80s , I look at my smile and my eyes in the picture and I see something there I did not see before. I found it very interesting that some of you had seen things I had seen and also were able to discern so much from a photograph. Its amazing how we can see in someone else also things they cannot see in themselves, which is why its important to get honest loving feedback from your friends.
QuoteTyler: From my observation the first thing I notice is that they are not a couple. I don't think they even like each other in that way. Perhaps they are family members or close friends. The person on the right is either a rather young boy whom is tall for his age as others have said, or a rather butch woman. I am actually torn on that part. They look like they had some fun.
I was quite tickled that Tyler saw me as being female, albeit a butch female. They were also right in that we were nor a romantic couple. I was actually 16 going on 17 when this picture was taken.
QuoteBeth Andrea said
I see a happy young couple (male and female), perhaps about to go to the Prom.
Well it was a dance but I don't remember being happy, and I can't remember if she was happy.
QuoteAmazon said
a PINK bowtie
I actually like a pink bow tie. I believe we we were asked to all wear pink at the dance.
Quote
Pica Pica said
Conjoined twins.
I don't really see that, but i guess you might have been joking ;)
QuoteChrissty said
I'm sure there's more to this picture than the obvious (as you will point out)..
...but at first glance the picture is of happy confident girl, shy and introvert guy..
Yeah I was rather shy and introverted even at 16, I am much more extrovert now
QuoteRoad to Trista said
The guy looks like a tall 13 year old who's weird and awkward to be around and the girl looks like a mormon-republican zombie. The girl is all happy faced and the guy is nervous. Both of them have ugly hairstyles, and the picture is kinda fuzzy so it's probably an old picture. They both look a couple years younger than me so I guess they're going to homecoming.
Aww gee come on this was the 80's I had poofy hair and no one at the time thought it was strange lol
QuoteNarurally Blonde said
Photoshop trickery? both pics are the same person taken at different times?
Interesting, you really see that huh? I guess that says something about me then, like I have always been missing something, it got me thinking that when I look in a mirror all i recognize is my smile and my eyes, my body even when thinner has never quite looked like my soul.
QuotePlain Jane said
Looks like a prom or something like that?
I see a girl in her middle to late teens (maybe 16~18?) and a boy in his early to middle teens (13~14) who is tall for his age and too young to be wearing a tux.
My first inclination is that these people are related to each other. Can't really tell you why I say that.
I can see why you thought we were related, we were just friends and not dating, so I can see how it gives the appearance of a stand offish picture. I wasant 13 though heh :laugh:
QuoteMs. Obrien said
Some kind of prom or dance. The guy looks like an old version of your avatar. They seem like a typical young couple to me.
The girl is happy, as in with her date. The guy not so much. The guy has a sadness in the eyes. Maybe a sense of jealousy of the girl.
Yeah I was very sad and hurting at the time, and my memory is blocked and I can't seem to access this time very well and remember details.
Quote
A had said
Uhm, most likely... The official picture of a couple for their end-of-studies ball? One with a weird theme, or one from another age when fashion was especially weird. I'm hesitating between a picture at the ball (because of the blue thingies) and one at home before leaving (because of the folding screen that doesn't have anything to do with a party). Or the extremely special wedding of an especially young couple, if it's them, or just with a weird theme.
The guy...
-He looks uneasy. He is either upset ("not a picture again" or "wtf is with this bow tie?") or very uneasy or nervous about the event itself or his partner.
-Since his hair is messy despite wearing formal wear, it may be that he was forced into all of this, or that he really did not care at all about any of this. Or maybe this was all very sudden and he had to come at the last minute or fill in for someone. Plus, it doesn't look like his clothes are properly worn (I think the vest is usually tied higher..?)
-He doesn't seem like he's very happy overall, regardless of his feelings for the event. Is he being forced on a career course he doesn't like? Has he been lying to someone? Does he like men despite having a girlfriend? Did something bad happen to him recently?
-He almost looks like he's holding on to the girl so that he won't flinch. He looks like he feels vulnerable. He feels like... Maybe, a delicate person who is required to be tough, maybe. In either case, someone is apparently asking too much of him. He's holding her way too tightly for the mood he seems to be in. Or maybe she's, like, his sister and the photograph told them to hug, and he found it weird, so he looks awkward.
The girl...
-She seems more genuinely happy than the guy.
-I'm not sure, but something in her eyes seems to say she's upset at something. Has she just forced her unwilling partner into the picture? Did her partner just do something she's angry about but she doesn't want it to show?
-Her hair leaves me perplexed. Is this a quickly arranged pathetic excuse of a hairstyle, or is it a trend of the times? The former might mean that the whole couple was forced into that event and she's just better at pretending to be happy... or that someone just messed with her hair and that's why she's upset. The latter, well doesn't mean any of that.
-Her clothes seem much more trendy than the guy's. Did the guy lose a bet? Or were girls' clothes considerably better than men's at the time?
-She's clinging to the guy much more genuinely than he does. Is the relationship one-sided? Is she trying to cheer him up? Is she just over-acting to look happy?
As for their relationship, if they're a couple (because they could very well be siblings, relatives or even friends, too), it looks like it's either one-sided, short-lived or in need of being fixed somehow... Or it could actually go well and the guy (and possibly the girl too) is having a bad day.
Seems like A has a very strong gift of discernment here. I am amazed at how much you are able to see. I bolded the things that are true 100% and the rest was not or I can't remember.
Anyways my whole point of this thread was to hope that other saw in me what I see and also see more than I can see, which has helped me quite a bit. :angel:
I thank you all very much for posting in this thread. God Bless you.
SHO'SHAWNA
Well you put a lot of thought into your closing post ;)
BUT THERE WAS NO BIG SURPRISE SHEESH ::)
Eh well i could have said something like the Boy was actually the girl and the girl was actually the boy. >:-)
I love a good catfight
Uhm, you're welcome. Aaaah, the 80s... Poor you. Looks like designers forgot the meaning of "beautiful" in those years. Or that's what I feel whenever I see an old movie or picture from that time.
Edit: Oh, and by the way, it's not things that I "saw"... Just guesses over the feelings from the picture. I'm neither Sherlock nor House, hehe.
Quote from: Naturally Blonde on June 04, 2012, 06:20:51 PM
The conclusion was very disappointing. If you were the girl in the picture there might have been a point to the excercise. You have started a totally pointless thread.
I think you missed my reason for making the thread. I wanted to hear about what people see , now as they are and before making a transition, i think that our perceptions change after we start feeling and looking more like our inner self.
Tyler had it right really, and the other point is I am trying to make is now I do see my older pictures and I see the girl inside of them. I also now am able to faintly remember things that happened to me when these pictures took place. I am going to a therapist who will perform hypnotherapy to help me remember things more clearly. Not to mention a plethora of other therapies.
QuoteIf you were the girl in the picture
I am the girl in the picture, I just don't have blonde hair and I am wearing a tux and its only as of today that I am starting to accept that I am the girl.
Quote from: A on June 04, 2012, 06:29:00 PM
Uhm, you're welcome. Aaaah, the 80s... Poor you. Looks like designers forgot the meaning of "beautiful" in those years. Or that's what I feel whenever I see an old movie or picture from that time.
Edit: Oh, and by the way, it's not things that I "saw"... Just guesses over the feelings from the picture. I'm neither Sherlock nor House, hehe.
ahh well still its kinda uncanny that you still guessed at what was there. When you pointed it out it helped me remember a few things as well. Hopefully I can start to remember more with therapy and such, the meds I was on and the trauma I experienced was rather harsh. I did not have a pleasant childhood or teenage life. When your on the wrong meds and mis diagnosed for 5 years it takes a toll.
Quote from: Amazon D on June 04, 2012, 05:42:43 PM
SHO'SHAWNA
Well you put a lot of thought into your closing post ;)
BUT THERE WAS NO BIG SURPRISE SHEESH ::)
The surprise is, ShawnToShawnna is the shorter of the two. ::)
Quote from: ShawnToShawn on June 04, 2012, 07:11:52 PM
ahh well still its kinda uncanny that you still guessed at what was there.
Can't say I wasn't expecting this particular outcome, but the thread is
far from pointless.
The quote above... it's not uncanny. It's partly intuition - the ability to discern things from subtle cues and prior knowledge that we aren't aware we're tapping into. It's also partly empathic projection - superimposing ones own feelings into the picture based on what one already knows of the poster and subconsciously feels themselves about a given situation. In essence, putting oneself in that place. Given the nature of where the picture was posted, it's not really surprising how much insight one can have on a picture like this since a lot of feelings will be shared.
Look at the replies here, see how much of them are based on the picture itself and how much based on what people already know about the person who posted it.
Fascinating insight into how people's minds work. :) Not pointless at all.
Actually, buried away in some box in my garage, I have similar pictures of which I have no memory whatsoever, given that I was either 'faced or high at the time. (Yeah, it was a type of "self-medication.")
I am ashamed to say, and I don't want anyone to hate me for this, I participated in an "ugly girl" contest at one of those dances.
QuoteCan't say I wasn't expecting this particular outcome, but the thread is far from pointless.
Thank you so much! I feel better now *hugs* I sort of had a feeling you knew where this was all going before I talked about the picture :angel:QuoteI have similar pictures of which I have no memory whatsoever, given that I was either 'faced or high at the time. (Yeah, it was a type of "self-medication.")
Hmm I guess I am not alone then, I am glad you shared that with me :angel:
Uhm, just saying, I wasn't assuming the poster was in that picture. In fact, I was trying hard not to, because that would have been heavy bias... Plus, really, I had no way of really knowing who that was, heh.
My first snap impression is that the boy is uncomfortable and unhappy. That isn't a genuine smile in any sense. I couldn't tell you why.
Quote from: Naturally Blonde on June 05, 2012, 02:20:47 PM
I didn't miss any point because there wasn't a point, you were a typical boy who wore typically boy clothes and wore your hair short like a typical boy (a rather tall boy at that). I will have to dig out my old pics from the 70's and 80's where I didn't wear boy clothes, I didn't have short hair and I wasn't conforming. I've never worn a tux in my life!
You seem to be looking for excuses or some kind of confirmation because you are insecure about your situation.
^^ I agree with Naturally Blond; there seem to be an underlaying theme of "please reassure me" in all your threads; and that is just fine with me, to some degree we all need validation.
Peky
PS. I have few picture of myself as either I avoided the camera or I destroy them
Quote from: Naturally Blonde on June 05, 2012, 02:20:47 PM
I didn't miss any point because there wasn't a point, you were a typical boy who wore typically boy clothes and wore your hair short like a typical boy (a rather tall boy at that). I will have to dig out my old pics from the 70's and 80's where I didn't wear boy clothes, I didn't have short hair and I wasn't conforming. I've never worn a tux in my life!
You seem to be looking for excuses or some kind of confirmation because you are insecure about your situation.
I was not a typical boy, that's very unfair of you to say that, you don't know what happen to me and how I was raised.I lived at a catholic boys home, do you think I was able to wear women's clothing there?! I would have been punished severely by the priest. I even had a roommate who was a guy and in secret i kissed him and he kissed me and we both were fantasizing that we were women taking turns playing games. Later on though he raped me and it changed how I felt about all of that for a long while.
If you had the life I had you would be very insecure and unsure as well.
I am glad that you still wanted to know about my test results in the other thread though even though you think this is all pointless.
Quote
Sephirah said this :
Can't say I wasn't expecting this particular outcome, but the thread is far from pointless.
Fascinating insight into how people's minds work. Not pointless at all.
Quote"please reassure me" in all your threads; and that is just fine with me, to some degree we all need validation.
Yes! I need to be reassured and confirmed, I do not like being all alone in this small town with no one to share my feelings with.
QuoteI didn't have short hair and I wasn't conforming. I've never worn a tux in my life!
I needed to address that too. So women can't wear suits then? Women can't have short hair? Haven't you met a tomboy before? They are not conforming at all! Did you even think for a minute I could possibly be somewhere in the middle of the gender spectrum?
ShawnToShawnna, I like the way your "signature" line is changing. I'm proud of you.
You haven't had it easy, and I'm glad you are doing better.
Are your test results back yet?
Quote from: ShawnToShawn on June 05, 2012, 02:44:03 PM
I was not a typical boy, that's very unfair of you to say that, you don't know what happen to me and how I was raised.I lived at a catholic boys home, do you think I was able to wear women's clothing there?! I would have been punished severely by the priest. I even had a roommate who was a guy and in secret i kissed him and he kissed me and we both were fantasizing that we were women taking turns playing games. Later on though he raped me and it changed how I felt about all of that for a long while.
If you had the life I had you would be very insecure and unsure as well.
I am glad that you still wanted to know about my test results in the other thread though even though you think this is all pointless.
I grew up in a strict Christian background, forced to go to church and I was sent to a rough all boys school near London in the late 1970's where I got my head kicked in by eight or nine boys at once, this happened most days for 5 years. I was called 'girl' and I used to go home with blood and cuts all over my face! my parents didn't help me move schools and I had to put up with it.
My background was not easy but I still stuck to my principles. I wasn't anything like the other boys and they knew that. They used to joke that I had a vagina and that if girls liked me they were lesbian's!
I hated the look that boys had with short hair and I grew mine out when I was 12, at one time it was long at one time I could sit on it. I felt revolted by boys shoes and clothes and used to find androgynous sneakers and wear girl's jeans and tops. I also almost got raped as a teenager after going to a music concert but managed to fight they guy off and run away and hide.
I am interested in your genetic testing results as it's very important and you need to find this information out for your own satisfaction, but be prepared for disappointment if they don't come out as intersexed.
Thank you for sharing some of your history Naturally Blonde, I really appreciate that a lot. :angel:
Well even if my tests show nothing that suggest any sort of intersexed condition, there is still something there very strong and I need to start feeling comfortable about it and be able to embrace if truly for the 1st time in my life without fear. :icon_workout:
Okay, before this thread goes down a road it's really better off not going down, let me say that no one here has the right to judge anyone else for the choices and experiences they had in their lives.
Our lives are our own, and lived in our own way. So can we be careful to avoid comparing experiences to determine if someone is 'genuine' or not, please? That's close to violating the terms of service.
And also, if someone doesn't like the contents of a thread, and it's not against the rules of the site, just look at something else. There's enough at Susan's to keep everyone's interest without having to comment on whether a thread has merit or not.
Quote from: Sephirah on June 05, 2012, 03:17:22 PM
Okay, before this thread goes down a road it's really better off not going down, let me say that no one here has the right to judge anyone else for the choices and experiences they had in their lives.
Our lives are our own, and lived in our own way. So can we be careful to avoid comparing experiences to determine if someone is 'genuine' or not, please? That's close to violating the terms of service.
And also, if someone doesn't like the contents of a thread, and it's not against the rules of the site, just look at something else. There's enough at Susan's to keep everyone's interest without having to comment on whether a thread has merit or not.
No one is better than anyone else no matter how we arrived here. We can compare hard luck stories till the cows come home and I don't see myself as any more 'genuine' than anyone else here. That's your analogy Sephirah, not mine!
Back in the late 1960's and 1970's, in my youth and adolescence, I wish I'd had the knowledge and courage to face my dysphoria.
Some of us recognize and act immediately.
Some of us do so belatedly.
Some of us are oblivious and lost.
I'm glad I found friends here to help me find my way.
Good god people! It was a interesting little experiment. I quite enjoyed it. If you don't care for it then LEAVE this post. Stop whining
More trans than thou commentaries are just sad.
A lot of trans people get hooked into validating their decisions with tidbits from the past that have often morphed into something akin to evidence. Like they are reinterpreted based on the revelation that they are actually [target sex] or true sex or trans or whatever and it is a matter of digging back into the past to confirm that they are trans and that they are doing the right thing.
The thing is that's all well and good until it becomes pathological. Unfortunately there are plenty of trans women who do nothing but tell stories about the past, probably because they never transitioned in real life and like the high school jock who scored that winning touchdown they reach back into their memories for a feel-good moment.
The past will never make you feel good about the present. What will make you feel good is accomplishing your goals. Deciding to transition can be difficult and uncertain feeling. But you will know if it is right for you once you begin making progress. Don't substitute nostalgia for progress.
Noey Nooneson : That doesn't really apply to me, I did not have very many feel good moments back then. Im also not pathological, i am just being honest and seeing things more clearly.
Quote from: Noey Nooneson on June 06, 2012, 03:37:37 AM
More trans than thou commentaries are just sad.
A lot of trans people get hooked into validating their decisions with tidbits from the past that have often morphed into something akin to evidence. Like they are reinterpreted based on the revelation that they are actually [target sex] or true sex or trans or whatever and it is a matter of digging back into the past to confirm that they are trans and that they are doing the right thing.
The thing is that's all well and good until it becomes pathological. Unfortunately there are plenty of trans women who do nothing but tell stories about the past, probably because they never transitioned in real life and like the high school jock who scored that winning touchdown they reach back into their memories for a feel-good moment.
The past will never make you feel good about the present. What will make you feel good is accomplishing your goals. Deciding to transition can be difficult and uncertain feeling. But you will know if it is right for you once you begin making progress. Don't substitute nostalgia for progress.
Great post Noey! that is exactly the point I was trying to make about this thread but you are far more intelligent and articulate than I am at presenting an answer.
I was a boy in most of my life. I was in hiding most of it but I conformed because I was afraid of getting my butt kicked by the neighborhood kids everyday. I got in fights, played basketball (even though I thoroughly sucked at it)... typical boy nonsense. I didn't like myself, but I felt it was something I had to do. I had a secret life that nobody knew about, where I'd get on chat rooms to meet guys that would treat me like a girl. My mom found out about it at kept me from it, so I kept quiet about my life from then on out.
Life thru my teenage years was a giant mistake. It was the biggest mistake of my life and if I could do 1 thing different in life it would be to just suck it up and tell my mom that I loved girls clothes, I loved barbies, I loved playing house etc when I was 6. I was a giant wuss about it.
But I'm okay with it all. It doesn't make me any less of a woman now. I'm happily living as a female, almost a carefree lifestyle too (as far as you can say carefree for someone who is trans). In fact the guys I live with say I'm a bit tomboyish, and they love me for it. My tomboyish sister in law calls me a girly girl barbie doll, and SHE loves me for it.
In short, I am me and I'm okay with it. My past doesn't make me any less of who I am as a girl today. I don't think it makes anybody less of who they are as they see themselves. I don't see any reason to try to feminize who I used to be to validate who I am today.