So, there is this guy I know who is not a friend, but who is often around when I hang out with others. He told me he liked me and wanted to learn to know me better. I told him I wasn't interested and tried to forget that it ever happened because it creeped me out. I've tried to ignore the fact that he likes me, but it's so obvious. The way he looks at me, how he compliments every little thing i do... I don't want to ever see him again because this situation is making me so depressed, but to do that i would have to ignore some of my friends he's always around. I just don't know what I'm doing wrong, i do everything like a guy, but this straight guy is in love with me :(
Also, I'm a bit afraid of him. He's psychotic and on and of his medication. Sometimes he get aggresive over really silly things and sometimes I looks at me like he wants to punch me, but sometimes like he wants to hold me in his arms or whatever. He seems just really unstable.
I just wanted to vent, I really don't know what to do about this mess :(
Keep yourself safe, DeadBoy.
I would advise being very careful, "crazy" people (I feel that's not a nice term but whatever) can be fun to hang out with if you're relatively stable and familiar with it but if not, bad things can happen.
I wouldn't tell him that you're trans. Sounds dangerous and easily angered. I was born male, and I'm transitioning (still presenting as male), and it's quite obvious that many girls are attracted to me, especially because of my personality. They can "connect" with me. I don't tell them, because I want to avoid conflict. If I was to date one of these girls, I would for sure tell them.
Similarly, you shouldn't tell him unless you for some reason decide to date him.
I've been doing A LOT of soul searching lately and I've realized my dysphoria comes from living in this world as a non-feminine woman. I've gotten crap for not being feminine since I was a little child. Telling myself I was trans gave me an explanation for why i wasn't "normal". In light of this new found clarity I think I understand better why this situation is so distressing to me. Appart from the fact that this guy scares me, being insane and all that, I think I'm afraid that any man I would get involved with would force me into a femininity that is just not natural for me. It terrifies me and it's why I live in celibate right now.
I hope you don't think I'm a total douchebag for lying to myself, and therefore everybody else including people on this forum.
You have no reason to feel bad. It's good that you understand yourself better. No matter what gender you are your partner shouldn't have a say in who you are. Someone will come along who appreciates that side of you.
Good luck!
I personally get kind of grossed out and uncomfortable when a girl seems to be attracted to me for being a boy. I went to a mall a few days ago and these girls acted all nice and went out of their way to help me that worked at the stores and it was one of the most awkward things ever. Especially since I had to tell myself after I walk out "they see you as a boy." Just ew. ._.
I would tread very carefully around him. I also would avoid any situations where alcohol or drugs maybe used because they may trigger him negatively or positively especially at a time when he may get alone with you.
I remember a girl who was infatuated in me. I just made myself scarce to avoid her. Time healed and she found someone who liked her attention. Maybe find another hobby that you like and your friends base may grow?
Stay safe, even if you tell a close friend of your situation, it may also trigger a situation you do not want.
I once tried something like that,
I was out with a guy it was kinda like a date,
I thought he knew about my trans status so didnt mind,
as it came around I found out he didnt and he just thought I was a girl,
it was some strange sentence we made where I was like.. "why is it strange to call me a shop working guy when I am a guy?"
and he kinda left imidently after that.. like worst date ever..
Quote from: toxicblue on June 12, 2012, 11:38:52 PM
I personally get kind of grossed out and uncomfortable when a girl seems to be attracted to me for being a boy. I went to a mall a few days ago and these girls acted all nice and went out of their way to help me that worked at the stores and it was one of the most awkward things ever. Especially since I had to tell myself after I walk out "they see you as a boy." Just ew. ._.
I kinda got alittle simular problem when guys are attracted to me.
I usunnally seams pretty cold, its not like I hate it its just I am so scared they see me as female and thats why theyre so flirty and frindly..
some of my friends say "just be happy you get attention it just mean your handsome"
But its kinda creep me out cause are that guy gay, or dose he just think I am a girl?
I hate being androgyne looking once in a while..
How to lose a prospective trans woman girlfriend in one sentence:
"I'm attracted to you as a man"
That relationship went nowhere very quickly
Quote from: DeadBoy on June 06, 2012, 01:18:40 PMi do everything like a guy, but this straight guy is in love with me :(
The truth is that
some heterosexuals like it when the opposite sex is more like them. For example, a rather MACHO straight guy won't always want some super duper girly girl.
On the topic for myself, I don't like it either. I remember before I started to transition whenever others would show an interest in me, on one side it was nice but on the other it bugged me because of what they were liking. :(
I rarely use words like "never" or "always". That being said: *switches to Sam Kinneson voice*
NEVER get involved with someone who is attracted to you in your wrong gender!!!
Take if from somebody who learned the hard way.
Quote from: Felix on June 07, 2012, 05:36:27 AM
Keep yourself safe, DeadBoy.
There's something incredibly ironic and hilarious about that statement above.
It sounds like something out of a Robert Rodriguez movie.
I'm sorry, sleep deprivation is taking a toll on me...
People being attracted to you as your birth sex ...
Sounds like mostly a F2M problem.
I have noticed many times that when a guy was looking at me like he wanted to cut my throat, gut me and skin me ... It was because he was physically attracted to me. He was probably envisioning me naked among other things.
How do I know this? I have gotten that look from a guy before and during sex on many occasions with various guys also from guys who were about to proposition me or ask for my number.
I think it is what happens to their face when the blood goes some place else.
Coming to the realization that my husband was only attracted to me as a woman was one of the major factors in our decision to split up. :/ People can't help what they're interested in physically, but it gets uncomfortable (to say the least) nonetheless.