I had some fun today relaxing around the house alone. Now that I'm accepting my past (instead of trying to bury it) I finally tried on some girly clothes again for the first time in ages. I discovered that even though I have to fake my boobs for now, it turns out I look really awesome in a body-hugging tank top! This is something I NEVER would have worn in 'boy-mode' because it looked all wrong on me that way.
So to any of you, wherever you fall on the gender spectrum, is there something in particular that worked surprisingly well for you once you embraced your inner self? (Not limited to clothes.)
For me, it was meeting people and engaging in small talk.
I was tremendously shy and introverted as a guy. I'm not an extrovert now, but I'm not nearly as shy as I used to be.
Makeup finally works for me now that i have a basic understanding of how to apply it. And i'm getting a lot faster at putting it on now :laugh:
Quote from: Connie Anne on June 09, 2012, 09:12:55 PM
For me, it was meeting people and engaging in small talk.
I was tremendously shy and introverted as a guy. I'm not an extrovert now, but I'm not nearly as shy as I used to be.
That's one of the things I'm desperately hoping for. I'm beginning to let go and stop acting so 'stiff' right now just to see how people react. I've found that ever since I stopped caring if my mannerisms seemed feminine or 'too friendly' that I've been slightly calmer, happier and a lot less angry.
Quote from: riven1 on June 09, 2012, 09:13:52 PM
Makeup finally works for me now that i have a basic understanding of how to apply it. And i'm getting a lot faster at putting it on now :laugh:
I'm such a perfectionist I'd undoubtedly take FOREVER with this. Experimented a few times but definitely need some professional guidance and a proper makeup selection of my own. (There's only so much you can do to 'borrow' other peoples' makeup if they don't know why. Awkward!) Even I know already that having the right colors is critical.
For me, it was about 1.5 years of laser that helped with the makeup. I never really learned to contour, and the laser meant that I didn't need to use as much makeup anymore.
Coming out is what actually led to me being less shy. I know, it seems backwards. But in coming out, I gave other people the chance to react or respond to me, and that was a big confidence boost.
I find that once I've accepted myself as a man then I was more open to feminine side since I didn't have to overcompensate as much.
Quote from: Malachite on June 09, 2012, 09:56:18 PM
I find that once I've accepted myself as a man then I was more open to feminine side since I didn't have to overcompensate as much.
I agree in the sense that identifying as one side meant making peace with both, no matter how much of each remained. For a while it felt like there was a disfunctional marriage going on inside my head. In my case it wasn't so much a matter of overcompensating as it was cutting myself off from expression and social contact. I became an automaton, kinda dead to the world.
I'm much more comfortable being single because I don't feel the need for an "other half" since I am the other half. (If that makes sense.)
I got so giddy the first time I wore a binder that I've been wearing one almost everyday since I got it.
My dysphoria got less painful, I was able to stop worrying so much about whether I'm psychotic, I feel better about myself because it feels right and like I'm not lying to myself anymore, stuff like that.
I still have bad days way too often when I worry too much about what others think though.
Quote from: Connie Anne on June 09, 2012, 09:12:55 PM
For me, it was meeting people and engaging in small talk.
I was tremendously shy and introverted as a guy. I'm not an extrovert now, but I'm not nearly as shy as I used to be.
It's funny how much easier it is talking to people when you don't feel like you're lying all the time. ;)
I actually flirt now. This is a thing I actually do. It boggles the mind.
I totally agree. Being out in public and not caring what people think. It makes me friendly and open and I talk to people and we laugh and life is pretty damn good - and its been a long time for that to be something I could state.
I'm happy. And I have never been this happy before in my entire life. How strange.
Cindy
If we're not limiting it to clothes I'll comment on parenting. Now that I'm visibly male, I have an easier time admitting I don't know what to do when my kid acts crazy in public. Strangers used to lay on the judgement pretty thick, and now strangers are more likely to be sympathetic, and sometimes even helpful.
Bras ! Finally I have something to fill them with, other than sock LOL
Checking out guys. I would have gotten punched for doing this before .... Now they are all like ," hey baby girl, wazzup?" :D
Quote from: The Original Cami on June 10, 2012, 07:56:56 AM
Checking out guys. I would have gotten punched for doing this before .... Now they are all like ," hey baby girl, wazzup?" :D
U R cute!
Thanks doll! ;)
Quote from: Sarah7 on June 09, 2012, 11:25:35 PM
I actually flirt now.
I'm still learning how to do this. I fell in love at 18, was married at 19, and divorced at 42. I never really learned how to flirt, but I'm beginning to experiment with it.
I don't know if this counts, but it was huge for me. I used to cut myself, and it went from out of control to completely unneeded.
Applying eyeliner. I now use a liquid and just slap it on. Then I wipe the excess off with a wet cotton tip, to get a nice thin line. Works like a charm.
Also, and much more importantly making friends. Now I am single I don't have to put up with a nuerotic trying to control my life.
Karen.
Quote from: Lee on June 11, 2012, 03:05:32 AM
I don't know if this counts, but it was huge for me. I used to cut myself, and it went from out of control to completely unneeded.
Oh, yes, it most certainly counts and that is an incredibly moving statement to me. I'm honoured you would share that. Let me respond in kind:
I don't drink a lot of alcohol, mainly because it would leave me wildly depressed unless I was kept actively engaged with the people around me. I would reach a state of overwhelming anguish and self-loathing which led me to punch myself in the head as hard as I could in order to daze me enough to break free of its grip. I literally felt like smashing my head repeatedly against a wall until I couldn't stand up - thankfully never tried this. It was really stupid and wouldn't make any sense to the people who know me. I barely understood why I was doing it myself - I just had this powerful depression and frustration with life and feeling alien. Once I understood that much of what I was upset about wasn't personal faults or failures I stopped hurting myself. Then later on after I finally learned the truth of my feminine side and began to relax and be more openly expressive and affectionate without fear, I actually began to enjoy the occasional drink again. In measured amounts when I'm with my social circle I think I'm actually enjoying them more now.
I have never told anyone about this before.
Thanks for sharing,
Violet
Expressing how I feel. When I'm really upset, I'm not afraid to cry in public. Wearing eyeshadow works better for me now too. And I feel like I don't have to hold back anymore, I can just be myself. :D
Seems to be a common thread floating through this post.
My major one is driving. Pre HRT and for most of my life, 120kph in a 110 zone, 3 inches from the car in front; wife on the floor in sheer terror with her eyes closed.
On HRT, I don't feel safe driving faster than 90kph in the 110 zone. At least 15 metres from the car in front. Wife off the floor, very relaxed, knitting and VERY happy.
I can now look at a guy and immediately spot what's wrong with his choice of fashion. Striped shirt and striped tie, etc. Also very adept in engaging women in lengthy conversations about their grandchildren and what's happening for them.
Enjoy your journey, I know I am. Be safe, well and happy.
Lotsa huggs
Catherine