Hello! my name is Christopher or just call me Chris, that is what I go by in the chat is Chris. Anyways I am new in here. Well somewhat new, this is my first post, but I have been in the chat now going on 4 days maybe 5, so I am still new.
A little bit about myself. I am a very nice person, I am easy going, fun to be around, I really enjoy time where I can just be myself instead of something I am not. I have dark hair, blue eyes, slender and about 5"2.
Now I want to talk to you about why I am here. This is my story. If it makes you cry I am sorry, but it is the only way you will get to know me and why i am here.
First off, what brought me here, well being new to the transgender world and life, I had been looking to join a nice enviornment, to where I can just be me, so I went looking online, for others who are like I am, and communities that help me better understand who I am. Well I thought I had found a community until I found out that they thought I was a burden and annoying. They had banned me from there chat and forums for that specific reason which was unfair. And told me I need help, and never to come back. This hurt me so much inside, I wanted to just hurt myself. Well from that community I was able to make friends with some outside the community and we still stay in touch, but I was still needing a community that I could feel comfortable in. I don't have very many friends who are transgender. I have a lot of gay and lesbian, also bi friends, but none trans in the state and city I live in. So its complicated for me, so I went to the internet for a community, well i thought I had found one, until they banned me. Well I didn't let it stop me from looking. Well long and behold I found this site Susan's Place. I joined it , and have been very happy here. Everyone respects everyone, and we have good conversations.
Now about my story basically my life.
I am a natural born female. At the age of 3 years old I was experience thoughts in my head that I didn't understand, until I started going around the house shirtless and acting boyish, as my mom would put it. Well my mom had told me it was a phase and it would pass, well obiviously my mom was wrong, at age 5 I was acting as a boy, I would wear socks in my pants pretending it was a penis, running around shirtless, and my mom saw this, so she was going to get me help, but nobody would take me, they called me a freak a phyciastrist (Sp). So I new in my heart what I was, but nobody wanted me happy, so I went on living my life as a female. When I hit the age of 10 years old, I was dating a guy, who broke up with me when he heard my aunt call me a bad name. I was like ok, maybe I should date girls. well before that thought came to mind, I had been raped by my aunts ex boyfriend, was three months pregnant and missed carried. That is why the guy i was with broke up with me and my aunt called me a bad name starts with an Wh. Anyways, after I missed carried, I started making friends with females and this one girl and I became close, and were for 20 plus years until here recently which can explain later. She and I would talk for hours, and one day her and I were talking after school about some issues i was facing, and when I told her I was born the wrong sex, she said what do you mean, so I told her how I felt, and how I would act like a boy, she was freaked out a bit, but it didn't take her long to realize and say I like you for you , regardless of what gender you are or think you should be. That made my day. Well as time went on we stayed in touch, she got married had two kids, and I still facing issues with my gender disorder, I had married a man and was married for 7 years, until he got to be controlling, and told me that I was crazy to think that I was a male. Well I moved into my own place, and a friend of mine moved from new york to here. which she still lives with me and my SO. But anyways to make this shorter, I do have SO, who I love very much, she doesn't know I am FTM, she might have a clue, but don't know I am scared to tell her. Sometimes though I feel as if I am Androgyne, because I like females, and sometimes enjoy being one, but then I like being a male, does that make any sense? So as you can see I am confused of what I should be, but for right now I am saying Androgyne, because I am confused, but I am leaning more towards the male side of me than the female, but I know my SO loves me as a female more.
Now earlier I mentioned about a friend of mine 2o plus years, well recently her family made her choose between them and our friendship, because they don't like people like us here. So i was told to stay away and I did, but they came to me and beat me up, raped me, and put me in the hospital.
Charges were pressed and they are all in jail as of right now.
But anyways, My birth name is Carol, but the male name I have picked out is a long one, which I wont say here, but just call me Chris for short, and to sign off for now.
This is my story enjoy and any question feel free to ask
Thanks for listening
Your friend (FTM/Androgyne)
Chris
Hi Chris :icon_wave:
Welcome to Susan's :) Good to have you here, you've come to the right place to find friends
Please be sure to review
- Site Terms of Service and rules to live by (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,2.0.html)
- Standard Terms and Definitions (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,54369.0.html)
- Post Ranks ( including when you can upload an avatar/post links and photos) (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,114.0.html.)
- Age and the Forum (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,62197.msg405545.html#msg405545)
- Reputation rules (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,18960.0.html)
Hugs
V M
Hi, Chris, and welcome from southern California.
I am a very nice person, I am easy going, fun to be around, I really enjoy time where I can just be myself instead of something I am not. I have dark hair, blue eyes, slender and about 5"2.
You are going to fit right in.
Hi Chris, and welcome. It might be a bit of a long and winding road to get to where you are now, but it is your story and you own it. It sounds like things are starting to become a bit clearer if you are starting to ask about being Androgyne. There are a fair few people here ID the same, so they should be able to help you find your way through the TG maze.
Karen.
Hi Chris, :icon_wave:
Welcome to our little family. Over 7176 strong. That would be one heck of a family reunion.
Feel free to post your successes/failures, Hopes/dreams. Ask questions and seek answers. Give and receive advice.
But remember we are family here, your family now. And it is always nice to have another brother/Andro. (https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fsmileys.on-my-web.com%2Frepository%2FAnimals%2Fferret-3.gif&hash=f49e2f86761323f2abd9c33941920389dbb3b10f)
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fsmileys.on-my-web.com%2Frepository%2FAnimals%2Fferret-5.gif&hash=cfc7a68438be4575d8493dfbe65d1b3586f10b81)
Janet (https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fupload.wikimedia.org%2Fwikipedia%2Fcommons%2F3%2F32%2FPentacle_1.svg&hash=99e763d33bc5c4d79014cb34bf6acb3dfec8befb)
Hi Chris,
Another warm Aussie welcome to Susan's family. Karen has already raised the flag, although she hails from Tassie, we still tolerate them. LOL Next stop after Tassie is the Antartic.
Thank you for sharing such a personal account of your life to date. Can't be easy, but I'm pleased you have come to terms with it.
There is a mountain of resources and friendships here for you, to take you where ever your journey may go. Hope to hear more of you in time to come, however in the meantime, be safe, well and happy
Lotsa Huggs
Catherine
Hi Chris, it's nice to meet you! I'm up near Boston. We get visitors from everywhere, it makes for a lot of fun. See you around, hugs, Devlyn