Zythyra made creating this space for us the number one priority. No one has left anything here since April 21st. We should make a run on the category. No time for loafing. Everyone needs to get off their stool. Now, lets get on a roll so Z doesn't get down in the dumps! Hugs, Devlyn
Well if this is about bathrooms i just filled my first 5 gallon bucket of poo since burning it in the colder months. I expect i'll probably have 5 buckets of poo by fall when i start burning the wood stove. Then it goes into the stove for extra heat. I am not sure if i will be dumping those 5 buckets into the stove though this winter. Hopefully they will have composted some by next spring to be ready to be used again or else i will have to get some more buckets. Well thats all i have to say about the bathroom stff. Oh wait the urine. That does go up to the garden to keep the deer away. When it rains it gets diluted and overflows into the ground which is fine as a dilution. ok all done who's next?
I can't top that, Amazon.
Also, Devlyn, great first post, It was very punny!
I hate using the men's room. Since I still present male I still have to. But, the men I work with are used to being in the field, so their bathroom hygiene is sub-par at best. They don't flush the toilets, wash their hands, or even hit the target all the time. I can't wait to start using the ladies room so I don't have to deal with it.
Quote from: Devlyn Marie on June 11, 2012, 07:43:48 PM
Zythyra made creating this space for us the number one priority. No one has left anything here since April 21st. We should make a run on the category. No time for loafing. Everyone needs to get off their stool. Now, lets get on a roll so Z doesn't get down in the dumps! Hugs, Devlyn
I can't believe I just read that. ::)
Quote from: Brooke777 on June 11, 2012, 08:08:40 PM
I hate using the men's room. Since I still present male I still have to. But, the men I work with are used to being in the field, so their bathroom hygiene is sub-par at best. They don't flush the toilets, wash their hands, or even hit the target all the time. I can't wait to start using the ladies room so I don't have to deal with it.
Just wait until you find a toilet backed up by a partially flushed feminine appliance.
Quote from: Jamie D on June 11, 2012, 08:14:20 PM
Just wait until you find a toilet backed up by a partially flushed feminine appliance.
or drops of blood on the seat -shudders-
Both of those are better than finding a bowel movement bigger than me resting in the toilet. And don't forget about the times when it looks like someones butt blew up in the toilet. Sometimes it is hard to believe these guys can survive such a massive loss of weight.
Quote from: Malachite on June 11, 2012, 09:13:36 PM
or drops of blood on the seat -shudders-
... what has been envisioned... cannot be erased.
:icon_tears:
I know you want to post in this thread, your face is flush. It's in your head now. Quit stalling! Hugs, Devlyn
Quote from: Devlyn Marie on June 11, 2012, 07:43:48 PM
Zythyra made creating this space for us the number one priority. No one has left anything here since April 21st. We should make a run on the category. No time for loafing. Everyone needs to get off their stool. Now, lets get on a roll so Z doesn't get down in the dumps! Hugs, Devlyn
:eusa_naughty: :eusa_naughty: :eusa_naughty:
I might have to close the lid on this thread >:-) ;)
Z
Oh no, right in the tank! Hugs, Devlyn
Quote from: Devlyn Marie on June 11, 2012, 09:48:41 PM
I know you want to post in this thread, your face is flush. It's in your head now. Quit stalling! Hugs, Devlyn
Arrrgggh! I can't take it anymore.
Oh, poo!
These comments have nothing to do with me. I'm far too lady like.
I strongly suspect that Devlyn and JamieD broke into my account to dump on me.
(These jokes are not mine BTW but open source on the web)
The Perfect Dump
Every once in a while everyone experiences the perfect dump. It's rare but a real thing of beauty. You sit down expecting the worse, but what you get is a smooth sliding, fart-less masterpiece that breaks the water with the splash-less grace of an Olympic high-diving champion. You use the toilet tissue to find that it was totally unnecessary. It makes you feel that all is right in the world and that you are in perfect harmony with it.
The Beer Dump
Nasty! Depends upon the dumper's tolerance and is the result of too many beers - doesn't matter if it was 2 or 22. What you get is a sinister, lengthy, noisy dump accompanied by an odious malevolent fog that could close the bathroom for days. Naked flames are ill advised.....
The Chilli Dump (aka The Japanese Flag)
Hot when it goes in and napalm when it comes out. It stays with you all day stinging yer ring and generally making your choccie starfish feel like the Shuttle's heat shield. Also makes your ass look like "a Japanese Flag."
The Empty Roll Dump
Relief - you've finished and reach for the tissue only to find an empty cardboard cylinder staring back at you. Panic overcomes you. You could use the curtains but then someone would ask "where are the curtains?" Use the rug? Nah, too bulky and cumbersome. You then come to the same conclusion that every "empty roll dumper" must face.....pull up yer kecks tighten yer cheeks and shuffle yourself to the nearest loo roll. Failing that you could always use your shirt-tail or one of your socks!
The Splash Back Dump
This one drops like a depth charge creating a column of cold water that washes your sphincter with a startlingly unpleasant shock. Now you're wet - and embarrassed if the column of water went half way up your back.
Tip of the day - blot instead of wiping.
The Childbirth Dump
This one is just too big to go through the aperture provided by nature for this purpose. You sit there thinking over your dilemma. First it hurts, and then gets no better. You sweat violently and wonder if you'll ever see your loved ones again. You imagine the newspaper headlines screaming "Man dies trying to hatch monster loaf!" There are only three things you can do:
1. Scream
2. Call an Obstetrician
3. Hope to hell you've got some Vaseline to help you get through it.
The Machine Gun Dump
Best utilized in public conveniences. You sit there in sublime peace when suddenly you emit a group of noisy gassy bursts that break the tranquility like machine gun fire. The guy in the next cubicle hits the floor like a Vietnam veteran, cradling his umbrella like a M16....damn commies.
The Sound Effect Dump
You feel a noisy one coming on but relatives, friends or work mates are within earshot. So, you must employ some clever techniques to cover the disgusting sounds you are about to emit. Timing is of the essence. At the precise moment of release, try the following:
1. Flush the toilet
2. Drop loose change on the floor
3. Sing the first two stanzas of your favorite opera.
The Cling-On Dump
You've finished but there's one damn morsel that refuses to drop. You grip the seat with both hands and wriggle. You twist and pump but the little bastard just hangs there, suspended, clinging like a canned peach between you and the water below. If only you had some scissors.......
The Whole Roll Dump
No matter how much you wipe, it just isn't enough. You blow the whole roll and have to flush at least a dozen times. The whole episode is consumer waste. Eventually if your toilet paper runs into minimal supply anything will do, towels, wash clothes, carpet, walls, whatever it takes.
The Encore Dump
Ahhh, you've done, so you wipe, dress, flush, wash hands and are about to leave the auditorium when you feel another dump coming on. You must therefore return for a curtain call.
The world record is seven encores.....
The Houdini Dump
You go, you stand to flush and it has disappeared! Did it creep down the pipe or did you dream the whole thing? Should you flush? Oh yes as you can guarantee that if you don't, it will reappear and smile at the next person who comes in.
Disgusting
Please Cindy, there are people here trying to choke! :laugh:
And I don't mean a Salami.
I strongly suspect that Devlyn and JamieD broke into my account to dump on me.
I'd never do a sh**ty thing like that! I'm not privy to that information.
This entire thread wreaks.
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.onlinemarketingrant.com%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2008%2F12%2Fouthouse-moon.jpg&hash=c4d49bae46389ab498a821f6fca69a00a844811b)
Have I ever told you about my cat that farts magic dust?
Quote from: V M on June 12, 2012, 05:05:19 AM
Have I ever told you about my cat that farts magic dust?
No. I thought you had an iguana.
Well yes, I do have an iguana and oh my goodness but she can dump a load with the best of them :)
The magic dust farting cat tends to show up in various dreams for some reason
Quote from: V M on June 12, 2012, 05:23:27 AM
Well yes, I do have an iguana and oh my goodness but she can dump a load with the best of them :)
The magic dust farting cat tends to show up in various dreams for some reason
Does "Big Bambu" mean anything to you, perchance?
Wow, got a lot of replies overnight! With a thread like this, urinal the way, or you're out! Hugs, Devlyn
Monday i start building my LOGHOUSE OUTHOUSE over top of my new privy tank.
Cindy you need to be a writer with that list you made
And then leave a copy of it in every stall you enter
You will be famous
Quote from: Amazon D on June 12, 2012, 06:18:38 AM
Monday i start building my LOGHOUSE OUTHOUSE over top of my new privy tank.
Cindy you need to be a writer with that list you made
And then leave a copy of it in every stall you enter
You will be famous
Cindy is already mentioned in every restroom stall I've seen. :o
What a topic! Make no mistake, it's nothing to dump on!
An oldie, butt a goodie. 21 January 2002
U.S. woman in airplane toilet ordeal
High-pressure vacuum flush sealed woman to toilet seat
OSLO, Jan. 21 — An American woman had no need to fasten her seatbelt on a flight from Scandinavia to the United States after a high-pressure vacuum flush sealed her to the toilet seat of the transatlantic airliner.
THE WOMAN filed a complaint with Scandinavian Airlines System after her ordeal on a Boeing 767 flight last year.
She got sucked in after pushing the flush button while seated, activating a system to clean the toilet by vacuum, the airline said on Monday.
"She could not get up by herself and had to sit on the toilet until the flight had landed so that ground technicians could help her get loose," a SAS spokeswoman said. "She was stuck there for quite a long time."
Woman sits on boyfriend's toilet for 2 years
Girlfriend was physically stuck to the seat — her skin had grown around it
Deputies said a woman in western Kansas sat on her boyfriend's toilet for two years, and they're investigating whether she was mistreated....
"We pried the toilet seat off with a pry bar and the seat went with her to the hospital," [Sheriff Bryan] Whipple said. "The hospital removed it...."
"She was not glued. She was not tied. She was just physically stuck by her body," Whipple said. "It is hard to imagine. ... I still have a hard time imagining it myself."
He told investigators he brought his girlfriend food and water, and asked her every day to come out of the bathroom.
"And her reply would be, 'Maybe tomorrow,"' Whipple said. "According to him, she did not want to leave the bathroom."
The boyfriend called police on Feb. 27 to report that "there was something wrong with his girlfriend," Whipple said, adding that he never explained why it took him two years to call.
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/23595533/ns/health-health_care/t/woman-sits-boyfriends-toilet-years/ (http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/23595533/ns/health-health_care/t/woman-sits-boyfriends-toilet-years/)
Knowing what teenage children eat and the volumes of it, I've had to issue instructions to my children, that all turds over 25 cwt, MUST be lowered by block and tackle, to ensure the porcelain doesn't sustain damage.
But what really gets me is the "Run Silent Run Deep" ones. You know, they break the water with such stealth, and you simply marvel at the time it takes to finally jettison, that you imagine it has to be in the vicinity of at least 25 miles long, and yet, when you stand; hey presto! not a shred of evidence you were even there. Must be the Phantom Dump.
Your mind has conjured it up to satisfy a long standing family feud. Probably to be joined, when you finally pass to the "other side" (and I don't mean GCS ;D ) by the endless quota of Biro's that have gone missing and the never ending supply of 'Lego' pieces that are found in your cupboard, under and in the furniture, in your soup bowl, in the fork of the pine tree in your front yard, mixed in the foundations of your home, the petrol tank of your lawn mower, and at least a million other irrelevant and impossible places to get to, long after your children have died.
Dearie me!! What a s**thouse thread this turned out to be. Still it's comforting to see; all the usual desperadoes have responded appropriately.
Huggs (from the bottom of the bowl near the 'S' bend)
Catherine
P.S. Interesting question to our US brothers and sisters. Where did your term "Super Bowl" come from. Does it have any other connotation apart from football. Or can your football be misconstrued to imply some "bowl" implications?
P.P.S. I can't believe I read this thread, let alone responded to it. Must be a particularly low point in my life. :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
Torpedoes awaaaaay!
When I got to the bottom of it, this thread had no news from the get go. I propose that we move it to politics, which is more apropo{o}.
Any objection to this movement? Jiggle the handle once for yes, twice for no.
Going...
Going...
Quote from: MadelineB on July 18, 2012, 12:26:55 PM
When I got to the bottom of it, this thread had no news from the get go. I propose that we move it to politics, which is more apropo{o}.
Any objection to this movement? Jiggle the handle once for yes, twice for no.
Going...
Going...
LOL!
I suppose you could move it to humor...
butt it kinda seems a shame to see it
go. ;)
Z
Quote from: Brooke777 on June 11, 2012, 09:29:59 PM
Both of those are better than finding a bowel movement bigger than me resting in the toilet. And don't forget about the times when it looks like someones butt blew up in the toilet. Sometimes it is hard to believe these guys can survive such a massive loss of weight.
It's not just guys who have that. I know someone who has to take fiber pills because she leaves presents as big as a softball in the toilet otherwise. and they require a construction crew to demolish it. I'm waiting to see if there will be a brown diamond formed in the middle of one of these monsters. (-_-) it's horrible!
I'm bowled over that this topic was moved! Hugs, Devlyn
Madeline, dear sweet Madeline! Surely you pull my chain? This thread was created solely as a tribute to the hard work Zythyra did. Sie pushed hard and strained and finally, choking back tears, produced the beautious fruit now known as the Bathroom News subforum. And it has floated nicely! I doo hope you will reconsider moving it back, hugs, Devlyn
Quote from: Devlyn Marie on July 18, 2012, 05:44:08 PM
Madeline, dear sweet Madeline! Surely you pull my chain? This thread was created solely as a tribute to the hard work Zythyra did. Sie pushed hard and strained and finally, choking back tears, produced the beautious fruit now known as the Bathroom News subforum. And it has floated nicely! I doo hope you will reconsider moving it back, hugs, Devlyn
There was no use stalling. Though you're in all of my thoughts, though you're in all of my prayers, nature she was calling, calling to me....
Hilarity is the first step on the road to regularity.
Quote from: Devlyn Marie on July 18, 2012, 05:44:08 PM
Madeline, dear sweet Madeline! Surely you pull my chain? This thread was created solely as a tribute to the hard work Zythyra did. Sie pushed hard and strained and finally, choking back tears, produced the beautious fruit now known as the Bathroom News subforum. And it has floated nicely! I doo hope you will reconsider moving it back, hugs, Devlyn
Dev, I think we need to break out the Staff Potty Trainer for Ms. Madeline.
(Or have her spend the weekend with ... Aunt Cindy) >:-)
Quote from: Jamie D on July 18, 2012, 08:07:28 PM
Dev, I think we need to break out the Staff Potty Trainer for Ms. Madeline.
(Or have her spend the weekend with ... Aunt Cindy) >:-)
The paws that refresh us:
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fecx.images-amazon.com%2Fimages%2FI%2F61BS3Q9KcTL._SL500_AA300_.jpg&hash=f7b802a8d4fbc66fc94ba5d745b88472057a18cb)
Possibly in the Art section? Following that famous artist Toulouse-Wetrec
Is it not better to be Toulouse than to be too tight?
I was at MONA, Museum of Old and New Art today. The loos are all different. Some have speakers playing the sound of a tractor starting, or similar. Very appropoo!
One I used today is fitted with mirrors so you can see what you are doing! :o There are a pair of binoculars for close ups too!
Anyone visiting from overseas show take a side trip to Tasmania to check it out.
Very......(f)Arty?
Karen.