I'm a transguy, and I've been out to myself for something like six years now, and out to my family for something like three. and I've run dry. No one is on my team with this. I've given them reading materials, explained myself over and over, given them time, said 'it's okay' when they slip up (even when it's not). and I've run out of.. something. Patience isn't the right word for it spirit, I suppose. Basically, I'm exhausted. I've given everything to try to make this work, and nothing seems to. I need help. Mom has agreed to a gender therapist with me after I've explained all this to them, but I've lost dad. I've basically lost my parents. And that's the hardest part of this transition, losing my family. I wish I had never come out, only came out when I was safe and secure in my own place, my own career, instead of like this, stuck at home. I'm fresh out of college, no job yet, and I need to get out of here. I can't stay here anymore. I escaped last summer for a couple of weeks, then again at the end of the summer when it got unbearable again, but I have no resources left. I have nowhere to run to.
*hugs* I'm sorry. I hope you manage to get out of that situation, I wish the best for you.
So sorry to hear of your situation, dylpickles. I sort of understand how you feel, but I'm just at the beginning of my coming out process. I've only told my Mom so far. She's responding well, but my Dad will be the tougher nut to crack. Like you, I'm trapped. Stay strong, hun. I hope it gets better.
Hugs to you, Dyl!
I just came out to myself and almost all of my friends. I almost slipped up today and came out to a social worker who works with me on other issues but was able to conceal it by telling a truth that I grew up in the LGBT community, and so I needed a therapist who is friendly to LGBT issues for that reason since it was a part of my life, and since I still have LGBT friends. Whew!
The situation I am in is also hard and I have to often find escapes just like you do. I tried to get out today, but was a combination of too depressed and unable to make up my mind what I would do or where I would go if I went out. Typical woman in me, I guess.
Here's an idea for you if it is something that you can do, depending on where you live and all of that:
Just leave and wander around where ever your mood takes you. Find or re-discover the beauty of the environment outside, the people around you, discover new places you haven't gone to before and check em out. Maybe just walk until you need to rest, and when you do...really, really, take it all in and enjoy it. Just be still and find peace in yourself somewhere inside. Breathe in and then let it out slowly, but in a way that is relaxing.
Hope I have been of support and help to you!
Honestly, I've just come out within the past year and luckily my mom has been extremely supportive. I lost my father early last year, but I can imagine he would've been in the same boat as yours.
All I can say is that you should do your best to try and get out of that situation and build yourself up. A lot of times I think we let transition and our issues get in the way of the rest of our life goals and although it's sometimes easier said than done to keep trucking on - it's true. Think about our cisgender counterparts - just out of college - most of them are trying to find their way in the world on their own by looking for how to start their careers. I think you should focus on this and becoming more self-sufficient and independent. Because at the end of the day all you have is yourself and YOU are the only one who has control over your future.
So look for a job (if you don't already have one). Save money so you can get out of there. Build up your resume and put your degree to use. Find something you love. Remember once transition is 'over' or you're further along, there is life after that. And you want to be able to enjoy the fruits of all your hard work in finding your true self!
As well, look for some community. You're doing a good job by turning here for support, but it's always nice to have more tangible support. Even if you have to go a few towns over or something, I think it's worth it to find some community. That's a blessing trans men (in my experience) tend to have over their trans sisters is that they tend to have a lot more visibility in the real world nowadays. Look for a support group or something. Work on finding some friends in the community.
Good luck man. It isn't forever. It might be okay. Stick around here when it gets hard.