Susan's Place Transgender Resources

...............Categories Revised per pollsters......... 
Hi Friends,

This poll is open to anyone that "feels" or is "truly" a MTF.

I am particularly interested in comments related to MTF lesbians however all comments are welcome.  I also have read that some females start liking men while they are transitioning.  Comments are welcome here.

I have been told the preferred terms for lesbians are top, bottom or side and those terms were added. 

The change their vote option was lost when I revised the survey.  I would change my vote to "side" if the change option was working. 

GG's can comment and vote.

Thanks.
Wendy

Technically, I am bi, but since I am in a lesbian relationship, I thought my answer would work better under that selection.  I prefer the female role in my relationship and tend to be a bit more feminine in that I'm more submissive and dress more feminine (notice the use of the word "more") and in general she tends to be more protective of me.  However, it isn't completely male/female roles as when it comes to mannerisms or paying for things, we try more for equality since we are both girls.

Melissa

Quote from: Anemonie on April 06, 2007, 06:22:18 PM
Is it necessary for such roles to exist in a lesbian relationship?

Nope.  It just works out that way with mine.

Melissa

Quote from: Melissa on April 06, 2007, 06:05:30 PM
I prefer the female role in my relationship and tend to be a bit more feminine in that I'm more submissive and dress more feminine (notice the use of the word "more") and in general she tends to be more protective of me. 
Melissa

Thanks Melissa.  I was protective of my sister when I was young.  I also am protective of my wife.

However I was not sure if your personality changes if you allow yourself to be expressed.  I have severely altered my personality over time to fit the image society expects of a male. 

Quote from: Anemonie on April 06, 2007, 06:22:18 PM
Is it necessary for such roles to exist in a lesbian relationship?

Probably not.  Certainly a wife can doninate over a husband in certain situations.

My vote is still the same after 10 minutes.

Wendy

Quote from: Wendy on April 06, 2007, 05:57:27 PM
Hi Friends,

Understand that I am wound so tight that if I truly came out I would explode with a mushroom cloud of smoke.  With that said those that "feel" or are truly MTF can vote for their sexual preference.  (I'm more than a feel but less than a real.) :D

I am particularly interested in comments related to MTF lesbians however all comments are welcome.  I also have read that some females start liking men while they are transitioning.  I am a solid B that took forever and I will guess I will never like males sexually. (I love your unabashed comments.)

Now it gets tricky for me.  I seemed to have been feminine when I was young and now I am not feminine.  (Although the housewives call me Sweetie or Sweet Heart all the time.  ...And the construction workers also call me those names but they are cowboys and do not count.)   With that analysis I will vote I am a Lesbian - Male role.

I will allow you to change your vote because females can be fickle and every time I take a survey I want to change my vote as new ideas are presented. 

GG's can comment but not vote.

Thanks.
Wendy

well helly wendy, I voted dagnammit...I saw the poll before I saw the post....sorry...if it helps my vote was "bi" because I don't know any other way to describe my relationship with Brooke. Anyhow, sorry. Didn't mean to skew your poll.

I'm a straight girl.... before I discovered this I was in a lesbianesque relationship... and I took on the female role totaly hehehehe...

Now if... and thats a really BIG IF, I were to enter into another relationship with a woman, it would have to be lesbian with me in the female role and there would have to be toys involved.... and thats getting to the point of TMI but yeah... Imjust going to stick to guys... no batteries required.

Sorry Wendy,  I'm straight but I couldnt be gay if i wanted to because I'm not attracted to other women.

Quote from: Yvonne on April 06, 2007, 07:43:44 PM
Sorry Wendy,  I'm straight but I couldnt be gay if i wanted to because I'm not attracted to other women.

Yvonne, your comment is exactly what my wife has told me for our entire marriage. 
.....................

Quote from: togetherwecan on April 06, 2007, 06:55:41 PM
Didn't mean to skew your poll.

TWC, right I believe that.  ::) I changed the directions.
................

Cuz I generaly dont like to put my sexlife or former sexlife out there... to say I have one at this moment would be a massive overstatement LoL....   

Lynn, I'm teasing you.

Lets see I am bi. And I fulfill the Dominant role, which to me isn't necessarily the "male" role. Seeing as since I am in a committed relationship I would probly fall under the category "lesbian-male role" for the purposes of the pole. Maybe I could call myself a "born again tomboy", lol.
Rashelle

I am NOT attracted to females whatsoever.  Yeah, I'm a hetero girl.  I have never been with a woman intimately, and I never plan to be. :P

tink :icon_chick:

I voted 'male role' in a lesbian relationship.  Now, just my thoughts.....I don't see it necessary for a pseudo male and real or pseudo female personality in a lesbian relationship.  At work, where I still present as male (it's getting harder and harder to pull off successfully each day that passes) one of the things I hear when they spot a lesbian couple that makes me grit my teeth is, "so.....who do you think the man is?", to which I just grumble, "why does there have to be a man  lesbian?  Maybe they're just both lesbians"  To which they say...."well uh.......who do you suppose is.....you know..... on top?" at which point, I usually just walk away, and one of my women friends comes over, says nothing, and gives me a hug, or pats my arm.

It makes absolutely no sense to frame the relationship between two loving women in the context of the 'male-female' relationship.  They need to get the point......there is no connection.  Not in my personal experience, anyway.


My three cents worth,

Bev

Quote from: Wendy on April 06, 2007, 05:57:27 PM
I also have read that some females start liking men while they are transitioning.

I have no clue what's going on with me. Before my little breakdown and starting a transition, I really didn't notice men. I noticed the beauty of women, but didn't exactly think of them sexually, but rather FROM them sexually.

Now, after dumping cartload after cartload of lies and denials and twisted-up mental garbage out (and starting HRT), things have changed. I notice men. Not many, not all the time, but put me within a few feet especially of a cute guy, and my body goes haywire and has an undeniably turned-on reaction (you know what I mean). And *all* my fantasies revolve around pleasing, arousing and being attractive to a guy.

Put me around a sexy woman, and... nothing. In fact, the notion of a "sexy woman" kinda makes no sense to me. I keep thinking all the women in the world suddenly got less attractive, then have to remind myself *I* changed, not them. It's as if I don't have to relate *through* them anymore - I'm becoming more and more my own person now, more and more confident in my OWN sexuality.

And yet, around my wife... I do get turned on. But as far as females go, it's only around her.

It's kind of sad, in a way, as guys make me nervous as heck. I just cannot get comfortable around them. I don't dislike them, it's just... I feel under pressure to perform in a way, to figure out what they need and want when I'm with them. With women, even with strangers it's like we've known one another for decades. It's easy, it flows. With men... it's a struggle.

Kate

Quote from: Rashelle on April 06, 2007, 09:29:53 PM
Lets see I am bi. And I fulfill the Dominant role, which to me isn't necessarily the "male" role.
Rashelle

Quote from: Bev on April 06, 2007, 10:54:35 PM
I voted 'male role' in a lesbian relationship. 
It makes absolutely no sense to frame the relationship between two loving women in the context of the 'male-female' relationship.  They need to get the point......there is no connection.

Bev and Rachelle, excellent point.  I agree.  Therefore if you are a female and you prefer females you are a lesbian.  There is no "dominant" person that initiates things?

Hmm I am having trouble grasping the concept since females perceive me as male since I look male.  However if a female perceived me as a female then the relationship would be very different from anything I have ever experienced. 

Does strength or stature influence anything in a lesbian relationship?  Most likely a MTF that is over 21 at time of transition is going to be physically bigger than the average GG.  My guess is the answer is no?

................
Kate what you are saying is what I have read.  If our body matches our mind we would be able to express feelings we have suppressed when our body did not match our mind. Neat. 

Thanks.

W

Sorry, but I am woman as is my wife. I feel there is no such thing as male or female roles. I am sure this is the case for a lot of others as well. As well, gender has nothing to do with sexual preference. I am woman and I am lesbian as is my wife. There is no 'male' in our times together.
                                                              Kim   :angel:

Not sure if I can be of much help here.  I did not vote because there was not an option for my sexual orientation, asexual.

Fer we gave you a new category to vote.  I am not sure of the definition of asexual?   However affection from females is preferred by me even if there is no "sex".

i'm 100% lesbian [not sexually attracted to men at all] and so is my gf [also mtf] though we don't believe in roles.  you don't necessarily have to adopt roles. you can be flexible or you can decide who does what on that particular evening.  however, if a person [identifies] with a particular role, it is usually more fulfilling to find a partner of the other role. or as it is succinctly put in the gay community, [two bottoms don't make a top]
i think although you are born lesbian/gay, you can learn to be more comfortable in one role vs. the other. most lesbians i have met do not start out as [tops] as you are expected to be [aggressive], know what you're doing etc. and newcomers don't often have that level of knowledge; yet they develop the skills and authority along the way. it's been described as a [paying your dues] sort of thing. also, you get to learn what the [bottom] will experience.
now if you want to opt out of the whole labeling process, just call yourself a [side] in other words, not defined as 100% top or bottom. btw this is exactly the reason why i didn't vote. ;)

Quote from: Katia on April 07, 2007, 10:54:55 AM
i'm 100% lesbian [not sexually attracted to men at all] and so is my gf [also mtf] though we don't believe in roles.  ... it is usually more fulfilling to find a partner of the other role. or as it is succinctly put in the gay community, [two bottoms don't make a top]
... most lesbians i have met do not start out as [tops] as you are expected to be [aggressive], know what you're doing etc. and newcomers don't often have that level of knowledge; yet they develop the skills and authority along the way. it's been described as a [paying your dues] sort of thing. also, you get to learn what the [bottom] will experience.
now if you want to opt out of the whole labeling process, just call yourself a [side]

Katia, I love your writing!  :laugh:

I will change my vote to "side" but the option to change vote has disappeared.

Wendy

Quote from: Wendy on April 07, 2007, 11:04:59 AM
Hi Fer,

I added an option for you.

Thanks.

Wendy

Thank you very much Wendy.  I\'ve already voted.

Quote from: Wendy on April 09, 2007, 12:47:12 PM

Quote from: Katia on April 07, 2007, 10:54:55 AM
i'm 100% lesbian [not sexually attracted to men at all] and so is my gf [also mtf] though we don't believe in roles.  ... it is usually more fulfilling to find a partner of the other role. or as it is succinctly put in the gay community, [two bottoms don't make a top]
... most lesbians i have met do not start out as [tops] as you are expected to be [aggressive], know what you're doing etc. and newcomers don't often have that level of knowledge; yet they develop the skills and authority along the way. it's been described as a [paying your dues] sort of thing. also, you get to learn what the [bottom] will experience.
now if you want to opt out of the whole labeling process, just call yourself a [side]

Katia, I love your writing!  :laugh:

I will change my vote to "side" but the option to change vote has disappeared.

Wendy

lesbian - neither side

glad you find me amusing wendy.

Hey there folks,

I havnt been on in a while but I like this topic so I figured I'd respond!

Although I do identify as pansexual (because I find the term BI too limiting)...my tenancies these days have been towards a dyke identity!  And within that dyke identity I think my "role" could be defined as Femme in the streets, butch in the sheets  In other words, I prefer very feminine style of clothes (although I refuse to shave my armpits/legs) but I love to top in bed...ie: I'd rather be the fister than be the fistee! (TMI I know I know but its a post about lesbianism cmon!!)

Cheers: Patty

Hi, you tricked us.  You gave some more options (after most of us had already voted) which are more applicable and now we can't change our answers.  Therefore the poll is skewed.

Quote from: GQPAT on April 24, 2007, 01:56:04 PM
Although I do identify as pansexual (because I find the term BI too limiting).

Dear Patti,

I am still trying to figure out what "transition" means. 

Urban Dictionary:
Pansexual: Noun: A person who is sexually interested in other people regardless of gender including males, females, transexuals, tansvestites, gender benders, hermaphrodites, intersexuals, androgenous people, and those with sex-chromosome anomaly such as klinefelter syndrome or turner syndrome.

Pansexual was added.

I voted bi/pansexual. But with a few caveats.

This is all in my imagination since I have only been with one person.

Monogamous.

I can't imagine being with a man unless I had female genitals.

I can imagine being with a woman with or without female genitals.

And I can't imagine living my life without my current soul mate.


Debbie

Yes, that sounds very much like me too.

I'm strictly monogamous, can't imagine actually being with someone else than my wife.

Fantasising is another matter, though. In that respect the only thing I've been able to rule out is being a gay man, so the current hypothesis is that I'm about half attracted to the opposite sex, about half attracted to women. None of the choices seemed close enough, so I didn't vote.

  Nfr

What is a pansexual?  ???  Ive never heard this expression before.  Im straight.


B

Quote from: Butterfly on April 26, 2007, 12:22:48 AM
What is a pansexual?  ???  Ive never heard this expression before.  Im straight.

Pansexuality (or omnisexuality) is an orientation characterized by a potential romantic/sexual attraction to people of any sex or gender, including transsexual, transgender, and intersex individuals.

-Emerald  :icon_mrgreen:

Quote from: Emerald on April 26, 2007, 12:39:03 AM

Quote from: Butterfly on April 26, 2007, 12:22:48 AM
What is a pansexual?  ???  Ive never heard this expression before.  Im straight.

Pansexuality (or omnisexuality) is an orientation characterized by a potential romantic/sexual attraction to people of any sex or gender, including transsexual, transgender, and intersex individuals.

-Emerald  :icon_mrgreen:

Of course!  Thank you, Emerald.  I love green too and emeralds are my favourite precious stones.

I voted bi because I'm attracted to people, not genders. If someone strikes me the right way, I like them -- I find all variants of gender attractive, but relationship wise it depends on the person more so than which category ze is in. But that's just how I work, other people are different and that's perfectly fine.

Quote from: Seshatneferw on April 25, 2007, 02:36:43 AM
Yes, that sounds very much like me too.

I'm strictly monogamous, can't imagine actually being with someone else than my wife.

Fantasising is another matter, though. In that respect the only thing I've been able to rule out is being a gay man, so the current hypothesis is that I'm about half attracted to the opposite sex, about half attracted to women. None of the choices seemed close enough, so I didn't vote.

  Nfr

Nfr,

If you were to become "all the way" MTF and you stayed with your wife then you would be considered a lesbian.  That concept confused me and is one of the reasons for this thread.

W

Quote from: Butterfly on April 26, 2007, 12:22:48 AM
What is a pansexual?  ??? 

Hmmmm....that is when you are attracted to pans.   ;D >:D ;)

tink :icon_chick:

Quote from: Wendy on April 26, 2007, 12:33:10 PM
If you were to become "all the way" MTF and you stayed with your wife then you would be considered a lesbian.  That concept confused me and is one of the reasons for this thread.

I'm not so sure about that -- like I said, I'm also quite capable of getting a kick out of heterosexual fantasies both ways. It's just that right now (and for the past several years) I can't imagine getting involved with someone else for real. As whatever's left of the boy I used to consider myself, I am rather strictly straight; as the girl I've started allowing myself to be I suppose I'm bi, although very strongly committed to a lesbian relationship.

But yes, I'm more than just a bit confused too. It's not all that straightforward to combine the traditional labels for sexual orientation with a non-mainstream gender orientation.

  Nfr

Quote from: Seshatneferw on April 27, 2007, 03:24:27 AM
I'm more than just a bit confused too. It's not all that straightforward to combine the traditional labels for sexual orientation with a non-mainstream gender orientation.

  Nfr

The terms 'gynephilia' and 'androphilia' are increasingly used in reference to the sexual orientation of transgender and intersex individuals, because the terms 'homosexual' (same-sex attraction) and 'heterosexual' (different-sex attraction) can be unclear and confusing.

Gynephilia is the romantic and/or sexual attraction to adult females.
Androphilia is the romantic and/or sexual attraction to adult males.

Androphilia and gynephilia are often preferred in the transgender community, because rather than focusing on the sex or gender of the subject, the words only describe the object of attraction. A third common term describing sexual orientation is 'bisexuality', which like androphilia and gynephilia, has no indication of the subject's sex or gender identity.

-Emerald  :icon_mrgreen:

That still doesn't quite cut it, in the sense of giving one label that is sufficient. A mix of gynephiliac and heterosexual might be pretty close, though.

  Nfr

As I am right now I would be considered a lesbian, now what the future brings could be another story. I'm not sure if transitioning will change how I feel about the "Sexs". I am attracted to females much more than I am to males both physically and emotionaly. I hope this makes sense to anyone one other than me
Hugs to all Donna

Quote from: Fer on April 07, 2007, 08:47:18 AM
Not sure if I can be of much help here.  I did not vote because there was not an option for my sexual orientation, asexual.

I am trisexual. When it comes to sex, I will try anything! :)

I am not interested in females sexually but if it was to come up no pun intended lol well hmmmm mabe It could  be fun.  but really no interest there!  and im not sure i would no how hehehe xoxoxTT :angel:

Quote from: tt jamie on April 30, 2007, 12:04:35 PM
I am not interested in females sexually but if it was to come up no pun intended lol well hmmmm mabe It could  be fun.  but really no interest there!  and im not sure i would no how hehehe xoxoxTT :angel:

Somehow, I find the notion that a woman woudn't know how to make love to another woman incomprehensible.

Quote from: melissa90299 on April 30, 2007, 07:55:17 AM
I am trisexual. When it comes to sex, I will try anything! :)

That is very clever!  :)

Wendy, that's an old one! But thanks anyway!