Okay so i have had this friend for a long freaking time we are pretty chill most of the time most of our talk has to do with video games porn zombies ect... he and I are close enough that I am the only person he talks to about personal issues with his wife ect... when I told he i was transitioning he said he was cool with it but he goes out of his way to say my birth name even though is daughter(3) and wife call me Travis and pointing out all of my feminine characteristics ever since he found out. Its really pissing me off and making me not want to chill with him anymore even though I know he's mostly doing it to be funny or something. I had to wear female pants for the first time in over 6 months and i ran into him and my son and i got invited over in the course of being over there 2 days i cant even count how many time he made crack about me looking cute in my girly pants or Mame-ing me. I am just not sure at this point if he is still just trying to be funny and i am just being too paranoid or what. He invited us back over for the 4th and I am not sure if we should go even cause even if he's not meaning too it makes me feel like ->-bleeped-<-
I would tell him he needs to cut that ->-bleeped-<- out. Give it a trial run and if he doesn't cut it out, cut ties.
I don't know him, so I don't really know but wonder why this supposed friend of yours can't do such simple things, like calling you the right name and pronoun. You look dudely enough (as someone else said about someone else) for me.
I agree, that you could try being assertive and telling him to cut the sh** out. He might be testing you for his own warped reasons.
--Jay Jay
I'd have to think that he was being deliberately offensive. OK friends can take the micky out of each other but there is a limit. I'm not saying being TG is a disability but would a friend tell jokes about a person that they know with a disability? "Oh here is Tony in his wheel chair lets have some you can't walk jokes" . I might be a bit extreme but is it that much different.
You have made the commitment to be the man you are, I would have thought that true friends would support that. If any of my friends made male jokes to me, or even if I heard that they had made disparaging comments about my gender ID, that would be the last time I met with them. I would walk the corridors of Hell to help my friends. I certainly expect them to at least respect me.
JMO
Cindy
I think I will try just being assertive first and maybe give him the benefit of the doubt for up to this point because we have always had a fun picking on each other friendship and my ego and self confidence usually is what I show even when i am insecure but this is one thing that I don't think i can handle constant joking about right now. It could be he just hasn't been able to tell because i always have such a confident front even when i might be about to get my ass kicked. Thats just who i am.
I stopped seeing some people for similar reasons. When they asked why, I told it hurt too much. some changed or made good effort ( I see them Now), some didn't and I still don't see them. I basically let them decide if it was worth their time to have me as a friend.
He may not realise how offensive you find the comments. Just like how there's many groups of guy friends who have a "jolly fat guy" they all take the mick out of at every opportunity while he laughs along with them while secretly hating every second of it. Sorry about the clumsy comparison xD I know what I mean...hope others do too.
Normally we make fun of each other a lot pick on each others flaws and joke about it back and forth but this is for some reason the only thing that really bugs me. It is possible he doesn't realize i am actually getting offended since it never bothered me when he made jokes about me liking women or how i epically fail holding a conversation getting constantly distracted and all. It goes both ways though i joke and make fun of him too. I am going to try talking with him next time i see him and let him know that this one topic actually bothers me a lot and if he can't call me by my chosen name or at least try than i don't know if we can hang out anymore. Thanks for the comments guys. I was really upset when i wrote this i am thinking more levelheaded now though.