Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Community Conversation => Transsexual talk => Female to male transsexual talk (FTM) => Topic started by: nocar on June 27, 2012, 03:38:24 PM

Title: Is anyone else ambivalent about their given name?
Post by: nocar on June 27, 2012, 03:38:24 PM
...or otherwise not mind their given name, even if it is historically a female name?
That's sort of where I am; I may not change my name legally and I'm really quite alright with that.

Thoughts?
Title: Re: Is anyone else ambivalent about their given name?
Post by: tvc15 on June 27, 2012, 03:50:44 PM
I wish. I haven't had to hear it very often since I legally changed my name, but when I do I flinch and/or feel like I'm about to throw up, before I can even stop myself. My birth name is rare but unmistakably female, so in my head it's really only associated with my past self. And my past self is associated with bad memories.
Title: Re: Is anyone else ambivalent about their given name?
Post by: nocar on June 27, 2012, 03:52:47 PM
Ugh I'm sorry to hear that :(
Title: Re: Is anyone else ambivalent about their given name?
Post by: wheat thins are delicious on June 27, 2012, 03:53:42 PM
I hate it.  Couldn't have changed it fast enough.  It was obviously female, I've never seen a male with that name. 
Title: Re: Is anyone else ambivalent about their given name?
Post by: Natkat on June 27, 2012, 04:08:10 PM
if it hadnt been an obviously female name I wouldnt mine but since it was I hated it.
I could pass as male but then my name came and it was "oh your a girl" which always made me annoyed

only once had I tried where I still passed as a male,
I where talking with a forregian guy, we spoke in english, and I got to tell him my name..
he where like "ah okay.. see you later boy" I notice after all he might had thought my name was a boyname in my country, so I was pretty happy..

Title: Re: Is anyone else ambivalent about their given name?
Post by: nocar on June 27, 2012, 04:16:45 PM
My name is an historically female, western European / American name & for some reason it really doesn't bother me anymore. My middle name is unisex but primarily a girl's name these days.

I think the actress Glenn Close is my inspiration here  :)
Funny, too: Ann Rice was born Howard Allen O'Brien!
Title: Re: Is anyone else ambivalent about their given name?
Post by: Edge on June 27, 2012, 04:19:27 PM
My name is unisex. Of course, there are plenty of people who therefore associate it with female especially since it is spelled with a "y," but I know for a fact I'm not the only guy with that name. Besides, I used to be friends with a cis guy named Courtney. Mine isn't that bad.
Title: Re: Is anyone else ambivalent about their given name?
Post by: smittyFTM on June 27, 2012, 04:28:47 PM
There is also a football player (Texas A & M) called Christine Michael. He's huge lol no one is going to give him a hard time about his name :)
Title: Re: Is anyone else ambivalent about their given name?
Post by: nocar on June 27, 2012, 05:27:30 PM
NICE !
Title: Re: Is anyone else ambivalent about their given name?
Post by: Justin 21 on June 27, 2012, 05:39:30 PM
I'm not really completely changing my name I'm just taking a few letters off my first name (Jessica to Jesse)
and adding a few on to my middle name (Ann to Anthony) which i think is cool cause then my middle name will be my grandfathers name
Title: Re: Is anyone else ambivalent about their given name?
Post by: supremecatoverlord on June 27, 2012, 05:53:24 PM
Quote from: Andy8715 on June 27, 2012, 03:53:42 PM
I hate it.  Couldn't have changed it fast enough.
Agreed.
I actually don't know why someone with a distinctly female name would choose to keep their name and transition to male.
It seems almost as if that person would be setting themselves up to be questioned and ridiculed.
Title: Re: Is anyone else ambivalent about their given name?
Post by: wheat thins are delicious on June 27, 2012, 05:58:02 PM
Quote from: JasonRX on June 27, 2012, 05:53:24 PM
Agreed.
I actually don't know why someone with a distinctly female name would choose to keep their name and transition to male.
It seems almost as if that person would be setting themselves up to be questioned and ridiculed.

Same here.
Title: Re: Is anyone else ambivalent about their given name?
Post by: Ayden on June 27, 2012, 06:09:01 PM
Mine's unisex, all I would need to do is change the spelling from Erin to Aaron to ensure that it wasn't seen as a female name. Overall though, I have heard it my whole life so it doesn't bug me. Same with my younger brothers calling me 'sis'. I realize for a lot of guys that could be horrible, but I pretty much raised them and they have known me that way their entire lives, so I have just heard it for years. Its like having a pet name the family uses as far as I am concerned.

It would probably be different if my name was like, Star, Hope, Faith, Constance, or Precious.  :laugh:
Title: Re: Is anyone else ambivalent about their given name?
Post by: Natkat on June 27, 2012, 06:23:52 PM
Quote from: JasonRX on June 27, 2012, 05:53:24 PM
Agreed.
I actually don't know why someone with a distinctly female name would choose to keep their name and transition to male.
It seems almost as if that person would be setting themselves up to be questioned and ridiculed.
maybe if the person moved or liked to travel?
boy and girlnames also depends on where you are from, ex Jesse is a girl name where I live, so somethimes a person can have a girl name somewhere and a boyname otherwhere..

for my own name its manly a boyname (women can be named it but I only meet 1 girl in my life who got that name EVER) but if I go to certain places it will be very much unisex.

and my old name was a clearly female name where I lived, but if I had moved to another country in europa it would had been a guy name..
----------
I never knew a guy from my country who kept there male or female birthname, But I do know a guy who changed his name into a kinda "odd name" name and he said he liked the question matters of that name.
he also tried to refuse gender pronoucings as much as posible.

Title: Re: Is anyone else ambivalent about their given name?
Post by: Ashley on June 27, 2012, 06:29:29 PM
Since my name is unisex I'm not going to change it
And plus I'm name I would've had this name even if I was.
born a boy
Title: Re: Is anyone else ambivalent about their given name?
Post by: Edge on June 27, 2012, 06:43:59 PM
Quote from: Ashley on June 27, 2012, 06:29:29 PM
And plus I'm name I would've had this name even if I was.
Same with mine. Well, my dad wanted to call me Jackson, but my cousin got the name first.
Title: Re: Is anyone else ambivalent about their given name?
Post by: go..ogle on June 27, 2012, 08:37:39 PM
I absolutely hate my given name....it's a very feminine name.
Title: Re: Is anyone else ambivalent about their given name?
Post by: Traivs on June 27, 2012, 08:48:56 PM
I hate mine soo much i don't think anywhere in the world it could be considered a boys name. Amanda Marie not so much manly. Though as long as i can remember my friends always joked your A- man- da saying i was a boy haha.
Title: Re: Is anyone else ambivalent about their given name?
Post by: King Malachite on June 27, 2012, 09:16:52 PM
No


My first and middle name are female.  I can't wait to change it.
Title: Re: Is anyone else ambivalent about their given name?
Post by: Sea-Sam on June 27, 2012, 09:39:01 PM
My first name is unisex when shortened, but my middle name... no. Totally female. I hate it.

I wouldn't know what to change my names to, when I do.  My mom is also thinking about getting our last names changed.
Title: Re: Is anyone else ambivalent about their given name?
Post by: aleon515 on June 27, 2012, 09:42:44 PM
I made an appt. for the computer yesterday and went in (I made it using my given name). As I came in they said "Are you ______?" And I said, "yes, call me ______", which he did.  It felt so awesome.

--Jay Jay
Title: Re: Is anyone else ambivalent about their given name?
Post by: insideontheoutside on June 27, 2012, 09:59:59 PM
For those that transition and have no problem otherwise passing as male, why the hell not keep your name if you like it. There's cis dude's named Shannon, Ashley, etc. etc. Ever hear that Johnny Cash song, "A Boy Named Sue" - funny take on that sort of thing. So yeah it doesn't happen frequently in baby naming, but it does happen. I have a unisex middle name but I don't care for it much. My close friends all call me my chosen name (which is kind of symbolic for me and begins with the first letter of my middle name anyway). And I don't really have a problem with my given first name either.

Also, plenty of people go by nicknames instead of their first name once formalities are handled (like at a workplace, they know your legal name, but you can tell them your preferred name). I dated a chick once who's real name was Brittney and she absolutely hated it so she went by another name all the time and no one really gave it a second thought.
Title: Re: Is anyone else ambivalent about their given name?
Post by: LordKAT on June 27, 2012, 10:57:21 PM
There was absolutely nothing wrong with my given name. If I was a girl, I probably would have liked it just fine.
Title: Re: Is anyone else ambivalent about their given name?
Post by: nocar on June 28, 2012, 06:20:09 AM
Mine is male / unisex when shortened.

I know a transman  who travels extensively and has not changed anything--name nor gender marker--and does just fine. I think that if you're not adamant about being stealth & trust that folks are going to conduct themselves in a civil, sophisticated manner, you'll be alright. That's asking a lot of the human race I know lol
Title: Re: Is anyone else ambivalent about their given name?
Post by: ~RoadToTrista~ on June 28, 2012, 07:34:12 AM
MTF INVASION!!!!! ;D

It's an ugly male name, but I don't think I'll ever mind if it's what people choose to call me, well, unless the person in question is new in my life, or my husband. Yikes.......

It's been with me all my life, having people I've known and grown up with call me something else just doesn't feel right. (I still expect correct pronoun usage though.)
Title: Re: Is anyone else ambivalent about their given name?
Post by: JohnnieRamona on June 28, 2012, 05:10:17 PM
MTF poking my head in- my given name is Johnny, and when I transition I'm planning to simply change it to Johnnie. I'm gotten some crap from people over this, but it's what I want to do...
Title: Re: Is anyone else ambivalent about their given name?
Post by: smittyFTM on June 28, 2012, 06:45:19 PM
Quote from: The Tomboy Transgirl on June 28, 2012, 05:10:17 PM
MTF poking my head in- my given name is Johnny, and when I transition I'm planning to simply change it to Johnnie. I'm gotten some crap from people over this, but it's what I want to do...

I like it!
Title: Re: Is anyone else ambivalent about their given name?
Post by: JohnnieRamona on June 28, 2012, 09:00:27 PM
Aww thanks! I really like the name Johnnie for myself as a woman too. For one thing, it would have been my name had I been born female (my Mom was lazy, apparently), and secondly it's sort of indicative of my feeling that transition won't make me some completely new, different person- just a better, happier, female me. :)
Title: Re: Is anyone else ambivalent about their given name?
Post by: Ashley on June 28, 2012, 09:13:41 PM
Quote from: The Tomboy Transgirl on June 28, 2012, 09:00:27 PM
Aww thanks! I really like the name Johnnie for myself as a woman too. For one thing, it would have been my name had I been born female (my Mom was lazy, apparently), and secondly it's sort of indicative of my feeling that transition won't make me some completely new, different person- just a better, happier, female me. :)

At least you know no one else will have your name lol
Title: Re: Is anyone else ambivalent about their given name?
Post by: Darrin Scott on June 28, 2012, 11:16:06 PM
I hate my given name and want to change it. Hopefully soon.
Title: Re: Is anyone else ambivalent about their given name?
Post by: Henri on June 28, 2012, 11:26:31 PM
I hate my given name to the point where even before I knew I was trans I was always going by various nicknames throughout my life. I even started going by the name Henri before I knew, and that is the one that has stuck so I plan on getting it changed to that ASAP.
Title: Re: Is anyone else ambivalent about their given name?
Post by: Traivs on June 29, 2012, 12:02:22 AM
My goal is to get mine changed this summer legally not only for the obvious reasons but because I don't want to deal with telling my son's school my birth name than changing it later on. Due to my son going to a small private school next year it would be pretty obvious. I just think its better if they meet me as Travis as well as the other parents. Since your legally obligated to notify your children's school or daycare of a legal name change.   
Title: Re: Is anyone else ambivalent about their given name?
Post by: Frank on June 29, 2012, 09:16:26 AM
I tolerate it because people never seem to read it as anything other than male (which is like calling a dude 'Sarah') but I actually really hate my entire name. It doesn't fit at all, never has to the point of me wondering wtf my parents were thinking.
Title: Re: Is anyone else ambivalent about their given name?
Post by: geek on June 29, 2012, 09:59:19 AM
I don't even look up if I hear my old name, I guess the only way I can describe it is "alien"
Title: Re: Is anyone else ambivalent about their given name?
Post by: smittyFTM on June 29, 2012, 01:56:48 PM
I know a guy who was named Plentymore. Yep that's his first name.
Also a friend of mine told me yesterday she knows a guy called Six Toes...
So LOL there are folks out there with some.....unique....names :)
Title: Re: Is anyone else ambivalent about their given name?
Post by: Edge on June 29, 2012, 02:39:47 PM
Like Ponyboy and Sodapop! Or 4Real, Brfxxccxxmnpcccclllmmnprxvclmnckssqlbb11116 (pronounced Albin), and many of the other names on banned lists.
Title: Re: Is anyone else ambivalent about their given name?
Post by: nocar on June 29, 2012, 03:52:39 PM
LOL
Title: Re: Is anyone else ambivalent about their given name?
Post by: Frank on June 29, 2012, 04:01:30 PM
Quote from: Edge on June 29, 2012, 02:39:47 PM
Like Ponyboy and Sodapop! Or 4Real, Brfxxccxxmnpcccclllmmnprxvclmnckssqlbb11116 (pronounced Albin), and many of the other names on banned lists.

Never fails to make me wtf.
Title: Re: Is anyone else ambivalent about their given name?
Post by: Morgan. on June 30, 2012, 01:44:43 AM
My display name on the forums here is my given name, and is pretty evenly unisex I guess. I like it, and the reason I was given that name, so I don't intend on changing it. My middle name, however, is a very different story. But I will be changing that very soon. :)
Title: Re: Is anyone else ambivalent about their given name?
Post by: Kelly J. P. on June 30, 2012, 01:50:39 AM
 My given name is unisex, and I will be changing it to be my middle name. I'm pretty okay with it, overall, which explains why I've been so lazy about the change...
Title: Re: Is anyone else ambivalent about their given name?
Post by: PedalHound on June 30, 2012, 04:15:53 PM
I have always really liked my name and though it's a female name - never heard of a guy with my name -  it's not very "girly" at all (very much like 'Shannon', though that's admittedly unisex).  Even though I'm FTGQ rather than FTM, I do know that if I had a very feminine name I would feel very compelled to change it to something less gendered.  My middle name is super feminine but it's in honour of someone VERY important to me so I don't think I'll change it.  That's a tough one for me... I wish it was more neutral.
I've noticed a trend recently of folks using historically male names for girls.  I loathe tabloids but with grocery stores as part of my life, I do see things from time to time...  I think it was a celebrity who recently named her daughter Maxwell?
Title: Re: Is anyone else ambivalent about their given name?
Post by: TheAwesomePrussia on July 03, 2012, 12:02:44 AM
Quote from: tvc15 on June 27, 2012, 03:50:44 PM
I wish. I haven't had to hear it very often since I legally changed my name, but when I do I flinch and/or feel like I'm about to throw up, before I can even stop myself. My birth name is rare but unmistakably female, so in my head it's really only associated with my past self. And my past self is associated with bad memories.

I know this feeling exactly. I still get emails from old website subscriptions that are addressed to that name. And I feel the EXACT same way about it. To a t...
Title: Re: Is anyone else ambivalent about their given name?
Post by: LordKAT on July 03, 2012, 01:51:16 AM
You would hate working as I do then, with a boss who has my former name.
Title: Re: Is anyone else ambivalent about their given name?
Post by: TheAwesomePrussia on July 03, 2012, 01:53:15 AM
The very first thing I did after coming out was get my name change...