YOU MIGHT BE A REDNECK CROSSDRESSER IF...
- You wear a dress that's strapless and a bra that ain't.
- You wear combat boots with a minidress.
- You wear jeans with a belt buckle that's bigger than your fist.
- You have a Ford F150 pick-up truck, with a gun rack, a Dale Earnhardt license plate frame, and a Confederate flag on the tailgate, next to the bumper sticker that says "I sell Avon Skin-So-Soft."
- You try to wax your legs with Turtle Wax.
- You braid the hair that sticks through your fishnet stockings.
- Wear a black John Deere baseball cap with pearls.
- You use glitter to highlight your mustache.
- You wear tube tops with your mini, because it shows off your Harley-Davidson tattoo.
- Your favorite band ring came off a cigar.
- You keep spare ammo in your bra.
- You get a run in your stockings while changing a tire on your motorhome.
- Your purse is a toolbox.
- You pluck your eyebrows with a pair of needle nosed pliers.
- You store your lipsticks in a socket-wrench box.
- You use duct tape to keep your "tuck" in place.
- You call your vanity "your work bench."
- You use a pocketknife to sharpen your lip and eye liners.
- "Doing your nails" means sorting the ten-pennies from the sixteen-pennies.
- Your favorite leather skirt was made from the moose you shot last Fall.
- Your new sandals are made from truck tire re-treads your found on the road.
- You keep a spare lipstick in your toolbox.
- You wear a pair of C-clamps as screw-on earrings.
- Your best silver necklace is made from beer can pull-tabs.
- Your nail enamel is made by Rustoleum.
-. You use paint thinner to remove your makeup.
- Your moisturizer says "non-detergent SAE 10W30" on the container.
- You remove your leg hair with duct tape.
- Your earrings double as fishing lures.
- Your wig is mounted over the fireplace in your trophy room.
- Your favorite brand of perfume is "wd40".
- You aerate the lawn in your 4" T strap spikes.
- You keep your breast forms in the refrigerator during the summer to keep
cool.
- Your make up case is a tool box
- You use Duct tape to remove the hair from your back
- Yer lip stick matches yer Red Man chew
- You wear moon hubcaps for earrings on 50's night.
- You have a purse made from an armadillo.
- The "brag book" in your purse includes pictures of your coon dog.
- After replacing the battery clamp on your trolling motor you paint the positive one with red nail polish.
- You keep an eyebrow pencil in your tool pouch.
- You've ever used an ignition file to repair an earring.
- You have a Mary Kay bumper sticker on your boat trailer.
- You punctured the sewer hose of your RV in the dark with your 4" stillettos
HEY!!! Whats wrong with Combat Boots!!!
Duct tape for removing hair? I got try that. ;D
Jilllieann
Ah but you left out an important one.
- if you have ever towed a primer gray 69 Camaro using duct tape and pantyhose.
Beverly
Duct tape soes work for hair removal. It's painfulla nd leaves adhesive behind. About earrings for fishing lures. It works. Depends on the style. I have caught peacock bass on an earting with hook attached.
- If your idea of a night out with the girls, involves a 30-06 and a flashlight off season.
- Boys like you clean up good.
Janet
Not only that, you blend right in with the rest of the girls...
-Sandy