I'm going to explain my long situation in a very brief way and please put yourself in my shoes for a minute. You are 22 years old, living on your own and your parents told you years ago that if you went to the community college they picked, they'd pay for your education. You went to the college they wanted for two semesters and they paid.
One day you went to a therapist and finally got diagnosed with GID and started hormones. You know, Gender Identity Disorder is a medical and mental condition. You asked to see a therapist many times throughout your childhood years because you knew there was something different about you but they refused to provide you a therapist so you had to wait until you moved out to get your own.
After you came out to your parents as transgender, they threatened they'd stop paying for your education even that your college depend on their income and they are obligated to pay for your classes until you're 24 (according to FAFSA guidelines). You signed up for classes today and asked your parents for the payment. Your dad made it very clear in the email that your GID (which you have been diagnosed by a medical professional so that should prove it is a condition in court) is the only reason why they are refusing to pay any for your education. (If they were having financial issues, I would have understood and accepted but they made it clear my GID was the only reason)
Would you sue your parents to make them pay for your education until you're 24? That I have the letter from my therapist stating that I've been diagnosed with Gender Identity Disorder, do you think I'll have a chance of winning for education money OR for any other discrimination cases with them? Worth my time to ask lawyers around?
Legally you probably won't get very far because there isn't law stating parents must support dependents until X age (beyond age of majority). The student aid stuff assumes parental financial support up until a point where the student magically becomes "independent" which means more grant/loan money.
Basically unless there is a written contract for parents to pay for education, the burden will be on you to prove tort against them in claiming gender identity is being used against you
Quote from: Flan on July 13, 2012, 11:16:51 PM
Legally you probably won't get very far because there isn't law stating parents must support dependents until X age (beyond age of majority). The student aid stuff assumes parental financial support up until a point where the student magically becomes "independent" which means more grant/loan money.
Basically unless there is a written contract for parents to pay for education, the burden will be on you to prove tort against them in claiming gender identity is being used against you
Pretty much.
After 18, your parents have no legal obligation to provide you anything outside normal contract law between adults, which likely doesn't apply in this case.
I wouldn't sue, unfortunately life is hard and sucks some of the time.
Maybe for your treatment as a child, but I think you are stuffed after 18 years of age.
Sue, no. Hate them for a long time... yes.
Just a side note... I think the age limit of 24 to be "independent" for FASFA is silly. My SO wasn't able to start school until she was 24 because she couldn't get her parents to give up their SSN's for the financial aid. Now we're nearly 4 years behind schedule because of it.
How about getting a job instead of suing your folks for money? Sheesh!
Quote from: Devlyn Marie on July 14, 2012, 06:09:48 AM
How about getting a job instead of suing your folks for money? Sheesh!
Generation E. What do you expect? Take out loans, work, save up money since h/s, pay for your own car, gas, insurance, and be glad you got an almost free ride on room and board living at home after you hit 18? Sure you had to mow the lawn, paint, take out the garbage... Hell, I was the official TV channel changer and volume adjuster until I was 12!
Quote from: Devlyn Marie on July 14, 2012, 06:09:48 AM
How about getting a job instead of suing your folks for money? Sheesh!
A bit harsh, DM? OP's parents reneged after finding out their kid was Trans. Navigating the waters of transgender is tough enough without parents, who ought to be on your side, providing the headwinds.
No, not harsh at all. You ASK your parents for money, not sue them. I'd like to hear the rest of the story. That is to say, the parents take.
I got a totally different idea from the title of the thread. It sucks that your parents won't accept your gender identity, but personally, I consider you lucky and don't understand why you would sue them or what the mistreatment was.
I agree. That's not harsh at all.
Guys, don't judge. I work only 13 hours week and am on disability checks (due to me being profoundly deaf). I'm having a hard time finding either a second or full-time job in this city. The city I'm in has too many ran out businesses and is overpopulated so everyone else is looking for a job too. I pay for everything (food, gas, car insurance, rent, etc.) expect the health insurance (I'm still on my "parents"' plan). So, don't think that I'm not trying, thank you very much.
I understand I have a big chance of losing. Thank you to everyone who left a polite answer!
I'm sorry that things have fallen apart for you, and that your parents refuse to validate your feelings in this matter.
Suing them is not the answer and will not garner the solution you are hoping for.
I would suggest taking your energy and directing it towards searches for scholarships and grants to help pay for your education. Another option would be to setup a page on Iniegogo where you can post your story and accept donations from people willing to help your cause.
All of that being said, we can't make our parents do anything.
Just remember there is always hope, and sometimes we just need to adjust our way of thinking.
I hope things turn out well for you. Good luck!
QuoteSuing them is not the answer and will not garner the solution you are hoping for.
I would suggest taking your energy and directing it towards searches for scholarships and grants to help pay for your education.
Ditto. Couldn't have said it better.
I googled it and there are a number of scholarships and grants available to transgendered individuals. I'm sure there are also some available to the hearing impaired. Scholarships and grants can be hard to get...everyone wants them even if they can afford to pay their own way. Hopefully your parents will reconsider. Good luck.
You can't sue because your folks don't want to pay for your school. They have no legal obligation to you after you are a legal adult. You go the FASFA route, but that just means they fill in their tax info, it doesn't promise you aid unless you qualify. Plenty of people get through college with no funding from their parents, and there is money, you just have to know where to look. I would talk to your college's FA office or perhaps an advisor. They can point you in the direction of loans, aid and scholarships. If you chose to go that route, you won't win. There is no expectation on your parents to pay for you to go to school. If there was, then everyone whose parents couldn't pay for them to go could be sued. Unless you have a written contract, signed and notarized, I would advise that you don't waste the money. Put it toward school instead.
Would I sue my folks? Of course not. I love them and even though I know my father does not agree with my choices, I respect him and love him enough to respect his right to disagree. Suing solves nothing.
I think the FAFSA subject has been well established in regards to whether or not there are laws stating parents have any legal or moral responsibility in the student payment matters.
I think what needs to be focused on is maltreatment as a child and whether or not the parents meet the legal criteria for having violated their child's civil rights, and whether or not there are civil damages for child maltreatment. These questions would need the advice of an attorney who practices in that field.
Let's put aside the fact that many people feel uncomfortable suing their folks. That is not the question here, nor is it of relevance to the topic.
Some of the questions / statements an attorney defending the parents would ask / use are: "Why didn't the petitioner bringing challenge notify the state child protection services?", "The petitioner was a minor and so the petitioner would have no way to know about gender problems", "Why didn't the petitioner tell school officials about maltreatment at home?", "Your honor, the extent of damage done cannot possibly be determined within reason or within the minimum legal burden", "Your honor, Gender Identity Disorder is a psychiatric problem, and therefore we ask that the petitioner be found unfit on psychiatric grounds", "The petitioner's lifestyle is an active choice", "what other steps did the petitioner take to obtain medical help that he/she is seeking civil relief for?", "Judge, the statute of limitations has run out"...the list goes on and on and on of dirty tactics used by civil defense attorneys.
Remember, the legal burden in civil court is "PREPONDERANCE OF EVIDENCE" not "beyond the shadow of a doubt".
I capitalized preponderance because that is the entire game in civil court. Preponderance is a MUCH lower standard.
I am not in any way trying to discourage you from bringing suit, just highlighting the things I have learned out of my own curiosity in life when it comes to our justice systems. I am not an attorney and do not play one on TV or elsewhere.
If I were YOU, I would start talking to your state legislators about changing your state's laws to make maltreatment, neglect, abuse, whether physical or psychological, a crime without statute of limitations retroactively and with more severe punishment for offenders whose victims suffer real physical injury and / or severe psychological injury. That is what I am doing, and have been doing since years ago. I may be getting close since rewriting the bill several times, and am confident I can re-introduce it in the coming months.
Quote from: Devlyn Marie on July 14, 2012, 06:09:48 AM
How about getting a job instead of suing your folks for money? Sheesh!
Totally agree BM,
What will suing them really achieve apart from driving a nail between you and kissing any future contact / support good by, as I'm sure you could probably fine a lawyer after all it the US where people sue for every reason under the sun.....
Does that also mean your parent can also sue you for the amount of money it cost them to raise you this far in life!!!!!
Go to your college and doc asking them what is the best way is to get a exemption with the two of then talking together it will help you chances obtaining a scholarship...
And it that doesn't work and you parents have put you though primary & high school you might have to put it on hold or move to a area that will give you more money so you can further you education...
Life isn't far in general there a people worse off than you and your complaining my mummy and daddy will not pay for my further education....
You sound like the missing generation that wants everything at a drop of a coin cause your so use to getting it, if you wanted collage shouldn't you of had a contingency plan in case something didn't work out with the parents..
I don't want to sound rude but that's the way your coming across,,,
Basically a "Ditto" to the previous posts. You will get nowhere trying to sue you parents and the lawyer will charge you his fee if you don't win the case.
Chris, I need to stick another post in here. I'm not going to address the suing issue, I'm not a lawyer.
But I think it sucks that your parents are not supporting you in dealing with your trans issues. While I can't say whether you have a right to money from them, you DO have a right to a family that supports you emotionally when times are tough.
I hope you find emotional support from others in your life (other family, friends, counselors, etc.) because you DESERVE emotional support from those around you.
Being Trans is tough. To love a Trans person is to be there emotionally when they need it.
Good luck.