Hi everyone..been a while sense I wrote in here so I figured I would catch you all up.
Things are going rather well here, still loving it. Still looking for work. Sadly you would think this city would have a lot, but I have put in so many applications and sent out a lot of resume's that I still have not heard nothing back.
I am staying with a friend of a friends right now.. I dont have much of a social life yet, been to busy tryin to find work..But I do need to get out there.
Sometimes I do feel lonely and would like to have someone lgbt to hang with you know...But I'll start writing or searching for jobs and volunteering and I start letting it go how I am feeling.
I have had a few friends say I need to get out and have a good time and just relax..But I feel if I relax to much that I might let a job pass me by.
I went to see a Peer counselor here at the lgbtq Identity house. He gave me lots to think about and a direction for a more of a regular counselor and maybe get on meds and definitely get back on my Ts. He said that was dangerous to go off of them and it could cause me a lot of harm if I dont start them again..Which I wouldnt have gone off of them before if I hadnt ran out of money..He says I am depressed and I should try to get on some kind of Disability just for awhile..For Gender Identity Disorder..
So starting on the 31st I have a appt at a place called Callen-Lorde, Its suppose to be a very good place. I am hoping so. I really need it.
Even though I am healthier then I have been in a very long time, Lost lots of weight..and even got a tan..My heart is still heavy and I really need to some help..And I need a life lol
I told my mom I was staying here in NY and she pretty much said.."I love you but you will have to live with what you have done" I cant expect much from her.
I do miss my family back in Indiana but wouldnt trade this for nothing..I love it here..And I am glad that I made the leap.
Glad to here that you are doing well.
I dont mean this in a bad or judgmental way, but how can you even think of pleasing another person if you do not even want to or have pleased yourself? Being intimate goes both ways and shouldnt just be one sided. I would imo get to know my own body and try to experience what pleasures me first. Also, taking hormones at this point with not much if any experience is not a good idea. You might like pleasuring yourself if you had a more positive attitude about your body. I never "hated" a part of my body, but MTF's lets face it have a much more functional result generally, not to mention aesthetics. Alot of FTM's will just keep what they have after finding out they have a better success fulfilling both parties needs just letting things stay the same, at least until you know for sure. To even think surgery is much to premature. You need to discover yourself and start liking your own body before thinking about anyone else. I have seen many do things too fast and without much research, then later regretting it.