Wife told me today that she's doesn't think she's attracted to me anymore. She's only attracted to men, and we're both discovering I may not really be a man.
Can't really blame her. She can't change her sexual orientation just because I'm discovering my gender identity.
But my sex drive and attraction to her didn't go away just because I found out I'm Trans.
OMG that's exactly me!
At first, we tried sex "woman on woman" because of my dysphoria...we both enjoyed it, but she wasn't comfortable in a "lesbian" relationship (I think because she was concerned with how her family would view it).
Like you said, you can't force an orientation. I decided I'd just keep quiet about sex and intimacy, at least out of respect for her but also to give her time to adapt (if that was going to happen, I wanted it to be her choice, not pressure from me).
It's been hard (no pun intended) for the past few months, but now we've separated and filling out "the papers." I'm going to have to let her go.
"Bittersweet", I think is a good word.
My (ex) wife and I had that exact same conversation in early 2011. At least we're still friends.
And this: "But my sex drive and attraction to her didn't go away just because I found out I'm Trans," is almost exactly how I felt.
{{{{{HUGS}}}}}
How have you changed, AG, since you first met your spouse. Other than confronting your gender issues, you are still the same person.
Let her know that your feelings toward her have not changed. Keep those lines of communication OPEN. Two-way street.