ok so as stated above, I have made an appointment to see a therapist.
so now what?
what should I expect? what should I say? what shouldn't I say? How open should I be? What should I ask? What is important ? etc...
anything would help girls thanks:)
Ever since I learned of my appointment, I've been keeping a diary. Putting down all my thoughts and feeling, hopes and ambitions etc but mainly so that I had prepared and written down a bunch of bullet points of 'evidence' so that I can show it to my gender person. There were incidents I remembered from childhood (putting on female clothes, feeling comfortable around girl pals, dreams); feelings and emotions from certain points in my life (For example, the weight-lifted-off-the-shoulders feeling I got when I finally realised that I wanted to transition, and the peace of mind that brought with it); times I was unhappy as a guy and how trying to sort these things out on my own still left me in this rut and in this predicament.
All of these random points I intend to bring up and address. Also having solid material there means I won't have to wrack my brains if I have a mind blank!
Hope this helps
x
Quote from: Jen-Jen on August 01, 2012, 09:36:58 AM
ok so as stated above, I have made an appointment to see a therapist.
so now what?
what should I expect? what should I say? what shouldn't I say? How open should I be? What should I ask? What is important ? etc...
anything would help girls thanks:)
I had many of the same questions/concerns when I started a few weeks ago. With regards to "how open" to be and "what shouldn't I say", I believe that the therapist is there to help and in order to do so I felt I needed to be totally open with her. To me anything less than that wouldn't allow her to do accurately do her job which in the long run would be a disservice to both of us.
As far as "what to say" - that one was harder for me. I had this "idea" that she'd be asking questions and I'd simply be answering them, kind of almost a question & answer session for lack of a better term. But it wasn't really that way - she was more of a facilitator - she got us started and then would ask questions when needed and sort of move us along as needed. I'm probably not explaining this very well and for that I apologize.
"What is important" I think varies among each of us; but to me the most important thing was feeling comfortable with the therapist. If I wouldn't have been comfortable with her, there's no way I think I could've been as open as I've been. There are obviously plenty of other important things as well, such as experience dealing with gender issues would be very high on the list if possible, and so on.
Hopefully there's at least something here you find helpful.
Madison
thank you all for your help. Is there any questions I should be asking the therapist???
Quote from: Jen-Jen on August 01, 2012, 09:36:58 AM
ok so as stated above, I have made an appointment to see a therapist.
so now what?
what should I expect? what should I say? what shouldn't I say? How open should I be? What should I ask? What is important ? etc...
anything would help girls thanks:)
It's probably best to not expect anything. Expectations and thinking certain things are or aren't going to happen can lead to your mind being already made up about things before you set foot in the door. Keep it open to possibilities and try to avoid creating scenarios in your mind about what you will or won't end up talking about.
The therapist can probably answer most, if not all, of the questions in your OP. In essence it's a relationship between you - one which grows over time. How you are in this relationship depends a lot on what you want to get out of it. A therapist isn't there to tell you who you are, but more to give you a platform to find that out for yourself. The first time will be more an experience in finding your feet, for both of you. And after this you'll very likely have a better idea yourself of how to proceed and how you feel with regard to your level of trust in them, and how that affects your level of interaction and participation in your meetings with them.
It goes back a while but I think the first question was asked was 'What is your proffered name' the second was 'Tell me about yourself'.
As Sephirah elude to, there is a period of building a bond and a trust. I was and am totally honest with my psychiatrist; as therapists are in my part of Australia. I didn't see any benefit in trying to twist anything or give answers that I thought would be applicable. After several sessions we had built a very friendly and open relationship that I and I do believe he, also enjoys.
I mentioned the fact that I had been totally open and honest and he replied that he knew that; he also said that he knows when people are lying or enhancing their perspectives, and that it just takes longer to dig the truth out.
So my advice is to look upon this as an opportunity to discuss your feelings and concerns and wants and desires with a professional who has probably met more TG people that you have.
And this might sound odd, but enjoy the sessions. This is a chance to talk about everything about you with a non-judgemental professional therapist. It can be hard to reveal stuff we have buried, I know that I have suffered events that I found terrible to discuss, but my therapist was very careful to steer me through my horrors in an understanding way.
I appreciated that and I buried ghosts that had haunted me.
To be honest at the end of that particular session Cindy was out in the open and nothing was going to stop me. It was a glorious occasion.
Hugs and be positive
Cindy
Quote from: Cindy James on August 17, 2012, 03:25:30 AM
It goes back a while but I think the first question was asked was 'What is your proffered name' the second was 'Tell me about yourself'.
Those were the exact same first two questions my therapist asked as when I emailed her to setup the appointment, my email had my "normal" male name; the paperwork I filled out had my legal male name, and I was dressed as Madison. :)
Quote from: Cindy James on August 17, 2012, 03:25:30 AM
As Sephirah elude to, there is a period of building a bond and a trust. I was and am totally honest with my psychiatrist; as therapists are in my part of Australia. I didn't see any benefit in trying to twist anything or give answers that I thought would be applicable. After several sessions we had built a very friendly and open relationship that I and I do believe he, also enjoys.
The honesty question seems to come up here fairly often and I can't agree more. It may not necessarily be the easiest thing in the world, but I felt if you couldn't/wouldn't be completely honest that it would serve no purpose other than to waste time on both parts. Now perhaps if you are simply going for "the letter" then maybe you could get by without doing that; but in that case there are other options. I decided before I even made the appointment that I wasn't just going for "the letter" - yes I do want that and I'm in the process of getting it - but I wanted to be able to talk about things with someone who was able to view things from an objective 3rd party perspective. Yes I talk with my wife and some close friends, but because of who they are they can't/won't always be as objective as I would hope a therapist could be.
I believe I've found a good therapist who has plenty of experience dealing with transgender issues and I have built a rapport with and for that I'm grateful.
Quote from: Cindy James on August 17, 2012, 03:25:30 AM
And this might sound odd, but enjoy the sessions. This is a chance to talk about everything about you with a non-judgemental professional therapist. It can be hard to reveal stuff we have buried, I know that I have suffered events that I found terrible to discuss, but my therapist was very careful to steer me through my horrors in an understanding way.
I appreciated that and I buried ghosts that had haunted me.
To be honest at the end of that particular session Cindy was out in the open and nothing was going to stop me. It was a glorious occasion.
Hugs and be positive
Cindy
I've also found that each time I leave the therapist I feel so much better about things. It's funny, not so much the first session since that was more of an introduction and overview of things; but more so the second one I initially had trouble as I expected her to basically lead a Q&A session for lack of a better phrase and it wasn't like that. She did have some questions, but she was more interested in getting me to talk about things I needed/wanted to talk about. Once I got started I really had no trouble doing so and the session flew by as did subsequent ones. This most recent session we did end up with some Q&A as she wanted to "fill in some things" towards writing my HRT letter; but even then she left plenty of time for me to address a couple of things (work among others) that I wanted to talk about.
For somebody who has never held a very high opinion of therapy - I was raised that you "handled your own business" - I can't speak highly enough about it and wish I had pursued this long ago.
Madison
Thanks Madison,
I'm glad you found the same things.
I have to admit that nowadays I only see my therapist every now and again as I'm out and about and happy and dealing with it.
My final sessions were also to deal with how I was going to 'perform' in my employment and to deal with potential media interest, and how my career peers may act.
I was strong enough then to tell him I didn't give a damn what people thought. By that time I was me, and I really don't give a damn what people think about me.
And to my honest surprise no else seems to give a damn either.
I'm sort of waiting for someone to react in a negative way.
Weird
Hugs
Cindy