I met a girl in early May and she was accepting of me being trans but because she was straight I thought I had no chance with her. Well, one night me, my friend, Mine and hers mutual friend and her were all at our mutual friends house and our mutual friend was busy with my friend and me and my now girlfriend were talking and then we started fooling around and the next day I asked her out and at first she said "not right now" Well, when she got to know me more she asked me if I remembered when I asked her out and I said yes and she said "well now I'm saying yes" I asked her why and she said "Because I've gotten to know you a little better over the past few days and you're a really sweet guy and I'd like to be your girlfriend" She's 16 and goes to the redneck school I used to go to and I told her to keep it on the DL until school ended so people wouldn't bother her as much and she said she didn't care what they said and that it was none of their business. Well, I gave her my jacket and it got around the school she was with me and I had to cuss out a bunch of people because some kids gave her a hard time and then I got dysphoric and said she should find a "real guy" so she wouldn't be made fun of and she said she wanted to be with me and that to her I was a real guy and that she didn't care what parts I had. Well, the first time we actually got intimate I refused to take my clothes off and she said "If it makes you uncomfortable then you don't have to" When she finally did see me naked she didn't look disgusted or anything. She said in all honesty she thought it would bother her but it didn't and she said that surprised her. When I finally took my clothes off during sex, she was still very much attracted to me and I wondered if she was bi or something so I asked her and she said that when I take my clothes off she looks past what's there and sees what I should have instead. I still won't let her touch me though, I get dysphoric and she's still learning how to deal with that. Her mom isn't pleased with her choice in me though. At first she didn't tell them I was trans but her mom found out she stayed the night with me and flipped so she had to tell her that I was trans and that there was no possible way I could get her pregnant. Her mom doesn't like me but she gave her permission for me to date her because I'm 18 and my girlfriends 16 almost 17 and I just turned 18 in March. The only thing is when she stays at my house her mom made sure that my mom would make us sleep in seperate rooms. My girlfriend asked why and her mom said she was treating me like her daughters boyfriend. Her mom also hacked my girlfriends fb and tried to set her up with a bio guy who lives down the street from her. I didn't believe my girlfriend at first but she put it on 3 way calling and I heard her mom admit to it and my girlfriend got upset and still won't talk to her mom because of it. But she just seems too perfect. Is my girlfriend too good to be true?
Good? It sounds like it. Too good to be true? I can't predict the future, but what I can tell you is not to push her away because you're afraid she's "too good to be true." You can't tell the future either. It would be better to try and pleasantly surprised than miss out on how good it could have been.
"You miss a hundred percent of the shots you don't take."
She sounds cool. Who knows where things will go, but for the rest of your life, you have evidence that people can and do see you as you see yourself - beyond your fears and insecurities.
Quote from: Edge on August 01, 2012, 10:11:54 PM
... what I can tell you is not to push her away because you're afraid she's "too good to be true."
I have done this sometimes. It's like when the other guy (I'm gay) doesn't see it as big a deal as I do, it's hard to believe that he really sees me as I see myself. But he does, just without the extra angst filter. That's alllll mine.
Good luck, man. The fact that you have to obey the non trans boyfriend rules (separate bedrooms) is a really good sign. :)
Believe it or not, there are straight women who see us as, are attracted to us as and love us just the same as a cismale. And believe it or not, there really are people in the world who aren't shallow and neurotic. Quite a few of us here have straight-identified cisfemale partners who genuinely see us for the men we are. So no - not necessarily too good to be true.
Quote from: Edge on August 01, 2012, 10:11:54 PM
Good? It sounds like it. Too good to be true? I can't predict the future, but what I can tell you is not to push her away because you're afraid she's "too good to be true." You can't tell the future either. It would be better to try and pleasantly surprised than miss out on how good it could have been.
"You miss a hundred percent of the shots you don't take."
This exactly. I don't really see any "red flags" to indicate that she might be disingenuous, so I say congrats and enjoy yourselves. ;D
Sounds more like good enough to be true, and half your luck! She sounds like a keeper. :)
This sort of thing gives me hope that I will find someone myself.
Karen.
Can't tell you what's really going on inside her head, but it does seem like she really cares about and sees you for who you really are. Hang on to her.
Quote from: MrTesto on August 01, 2012, 11:23:13 PM
I have done this sometimes. It's like when the other guy (I'm gay) doesn't see it as big a deal as I do, it's hard to believe that he really sees me as I see myself. But he does, just without the extra angst filter. That's alllll mine.
This is something I struggle with as well. Especially with guys who are strictly gay and haven't done anything with someone who was AFAB. I get really insecure and feel like as soon as they see my body (post top, pre bottom) that they will run away even when they see me as a guy otherwise.
been there done that, reminds me very much like my first school (but not as love-dovy, it was a bit more complicated)
I think its pretty normal many trans are having this issues of concerns with cisgenders, or even other trans people for liking us as us..
I still got thos things specially with bisexuals,
But yeah seen it again and again, with gay/straight people going with transgenders..
so it not unrealistical
I use to think the same thing about my boyfriend. He could have anyone he wants, but he chooses me. I'm physically disabled, a drug addict (3 years sober this month :'D), a great source of argument with his loved ones, an actual source of discrimination XP, I'm poor so I have to mooch on him too often, sex has too many weird restrictions, I lived 300 miles away in the beginning of our relationship, he's never had to work so hard to keep someone alive, and overall this whole ->-bleeped-<- is stressful XP. He insists that I enrich his life though, and that this whole mess is worth it. It'll be 4 years together this month, and he refuses to give up. After a while, I decided not to give up either.
So do I think your girlfriend is too good to be true? Nope, I think you just found yourself an awesome girl who sees the real you and sees how in the end you're worth it all.
Geez Darth , just marry the poor lad and put him out of his misery. :laugh:
It's great to see that there are so many wonderful people out there who see us as people of value who are deserving of love.
Karen.