I was on the phone to my mom. To say she doesn't understand is an understatement." But your a boy. you've always been a boy, you like boy things. Youve had girlfriends. This doesn't make any sense if your not gay. Plus you'd make a terrible looking girl."
Um... ok let me gulp down that lump in my throat. I couldn't bring myself to speak though. I just hung up.
I got a text later saying that shes loves me, but she thinks i need a therapist.
Its the "rare" Mom that does get it, especially right off.
A therapist isn't a bad idea, you will need one to get on hormones and maybe the therapist will be able to help your Mom understand what is going on.
Thats brutal. Im really sorry to hear that, anima. Maybe once shes had more time to adjust, she'll come around. If you need someone to talk to im here.
Anima, you may not believe this, but that was one of the more benevolent parental reactions that have been posted on Susan's.
The process of educating loved ones about Transgender can be long and painful, but it's often worth it in the end. It doesn't sound like she's hostile, just uninformed. Keep explaining what Transgender is all about - when she finally gets it, it will be worth it.
In the meantime, please accept a hug and a wish for good luck from me.
So sorry. Hopefully she'll come around soon. I agree, a good therapist is a great thing and may even be able to help your mom.
I think what was worst is she made me doubt myself again. I was really unhappy when i doubted myself. The last few weeks when Ive been out with my friends, they where all cool with it. My close friends pretty much new already. So with them its been better than id hoped for. But none of my family really get it.
Thanks for the kind words. I really appreciate it.
The family stuff can be really hard sometimes. My mom has been really supportive during my transition, and it's still been difficult communicating with her. I think that for me, the most helpful thing in dealing with my family has been trying to have the confidence to be as clear as I can with them in asserting my needs and feelings, while at the same time trying to remain receptive to the way they feel. It's important to not loose sight of who you are, in spite of other people's skepticism. I think that if you can keep gently asserting yourself while trying to understand and work with their feelings, they'll come around.
Some people need to see it to understand it. Though my mom didn't give me any trouble it wasn't until about 6-7 months into hrt before she really "got it".
Is this the first time you've told her? Then it's to be expected. It's like the natural human reaction is denial.
Sounds like my mother, although she sometimes is more accepting than at others. She had no trouble with my son's FtM transition so it is definitely a parental thing. The fact that he has trouble with mine is a twist though.
Karen.