Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Community Conversation => Transgender talk => Topic started by: Urban Christina on August 12, 2012, 10:45:56 AM

Title: Why would people stare (picture included)?
Post by: Urban Christina on August 12, 2012, 10:45:56 AM
Hello! I went grocery shopping last night for the first time in full makeup. Lots of people were staring. Can anyone tell me why? Were they able to tell that I'm transgender? I'm a big girl and can take the truth so please be honest ;)


The link to my picture:
http://tinypic.com/view.php?pic=6z69hx&s=6 (http://tinypic.com/view.php?pic=6z69hx&s=6)
Title: Re: Why would people stare (picture included)?
Post by: Urban Christina on August 12, 2012, 10:46:54 AM
Also, do I look passable as a woman yet? Or do I need to wait a little longer for the hormones to work?
Title: Re: Why would people stare (picture included)?
Post by: Edge on August 12, 2012, 10:53:15 AM
It's hard to tell with pictures. You look fine to me. Maybe you look more androgynous in person? Or maybe they were staring 'cause you're pretty. ;D
Title: Re: Why would people stare (picture included)?
Post by: Tristan on August 12, 2012, 11:02:47 AM
Wow girl your cute. That may be why they are looking
Title: Re: Why would people stare (picture included)?
Post by: AbraCadabra on August 12, 2012, 11:10:57 AM
Quote from: Tristan on August 12, 2012, 11:02:47 AM
Wow girl your cute. That may be why they are looking

Gosh now don't you - not only cute, but stunning for all I can tell. No wonder you get looks...

Phew,
Axélle
Title: Re: Why would people stare (picture included)?
Post by: Sara Thomas on August 12, 2012, 11:21:34 AM
Honestly - From your picture you appear very feminine and pretty... I can only imagine that folks were staring in admiration.

Title: Re: Why would people stare (picture included)?
Post by: Ms. OBrien CVT on August 12, 2012, 11:22:35 AM
Personally, you look like a young pretty girl.

One thing I do is a Jedi mind trick on myself.  "They stare because they have never seen a model in real life".

Hey it works for me.

But you do not need to do that.
Title: Re: Why would people stare (picture included)?
Post by: barbie on August 12, 2012, 11:53:05 AM
You look nice. I am not quite sure where you live, but my experience tells that most people in rural or suburban areas are just too much ordinary. In the case of the U.S., most women are overweighted, and being slim alone can make you prominent. When I was in a suburban area of the U.S., one of my neighbors said that he paid attention to a strange person in the mall because he/she was so much slim, and later found that it was me. I just wear plain women's stretchable jeans with a plain tee.

Yes. People here stare me, too . The frequency varies with place and people. Usually aged and uneducated people tend to stare more. In big cities, people do not care so much about me, because there are a lot of queer people. I live in a kind of rural area, and most people do not care so much about their appearance. Despite the very strong sun, they do not wear sun cream in summer. I thought my height was the major factor. I once posted a photo here about 2 years ago: http://i943.photobucket.com/albums/ad278/barbie_pictures/attention.jpg (http://i943.photobucket.com/albums/ad278/barbie_pictures/attention.jpg)

However, there are some exceptions. When I transited in Frankfurt airport, I saw a lot of tall women. One girl was probably > 200 cm (6'5"), but I am 183 cm (6'). Still, some people stared me.

I think I look too much different from most of people here, regardless of their gender. My height is not the only reason. Height, face, body shape, makeup and clothes all combined make me look striking. It is my destiny.

Barbie~~
Title: Re: Why would people stare (picture included)?
Post by: Kristopher on August 12, 2012, 12:17:43 PM
If I saw you at the grocery store better believe i'd be starring too!  ;)
Title: Re: Why would people stare (picture included)?
Post by: peky on August 12, 2012, 01:16:47 PM
From the picture you look pretty, and very passable. What were you wearing to the sup? How tall are you?
Title: Re: Why would people stare (picture included)?
Post by: Beth Andrea on August 12, 2012, 02:27:18 PM
Quote from: CalifornianChris on August 12, 2012, 10:45:56 AM
Hello! I went grocery shopping last night for the first time in full makeup. Lots of people were staring. Can anyone tell me why? Were they able to tell that I'm transgender? I'm a big girl and can take the truth so please be honest ;)


The link to my picture:
http://tinypic.com/view.php?pic=6z69hx&s=6 (http://tinypic.com/view.php?pic=6z69hx&s=6)

Mmmpph! Well, I never....You're such a troll!   :-*  Asking "why do people stare at me..?...YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL! That's why!  ;)

That's unless, of course, you weren't tipping over the fresh fruit and/or meat displays... >:-)
Title: Re: Why would people stare (picture included)?
Post by: Kevin Peña on August 12, 2012, 03:10:59 PM
You look great. I honestly think people stare because you look nice.
Title: Why would people stare (picture included)?
Post by: PrincessLeiah on August 12, 2012, 03:20:02 PM
Yep, unless you've got very strange fashion sense, I'm going to agree and say those were probably good stares.
Title: Re: Why would people stare (picture included)?
Post by: Veronique on August 12, 2012, 06:23:13 PM
I consider my "gender" radar to be pretty good but i don't think i would have considered you anything other than female though, you definitely got a feminine glow about you
Title: Re: Why would people stare (picture included)?
Post by: Amazon D on August 12, 2012, 07:09:54 PM
I would tone down the makeup and try it again. Most girls don't wear it especially during summer. I think you look very androgenous right now but i can tell your gonna look great one day in the not to far future.
Title: Re: Why would people stare (picture included)?
Post by: JoanneB on August 12, 2012, 07:29:27 PM
I think you look fine for grocery shopping in that pic.

My only comment will be timing for full make-up (however you define that). I experienced a bit of culture shock moving out to the sticks from just outside New York City. Women in makeup is rare. Young girls sometimes, but often done way over the top. I personally feel naked without some makeup. At 6ft tall I tend to stand out some and always try for the clear unambiguous female look, even if in jeans. I tend to be a bit more makeup if I am out in a dress or skirt. Grocery shopping that way is usually early evening. Occasionally other women are also shopping in a dress or skirt, but it is very rare where I live, unlike metro NYC. Your full makeup look just may have been out of place?

I never get stared at now, unlike how I did back in my 20's when I first experimented with transition. The only looks I do get is sometimes from guys, in a nice way  :o

Given how pretty you look in that photo, I can see why you got so many admiring glances. You have nothing to freak out about. You are far from the train wreck I was ages ago :(
Title: Re: Why would people stare (picture included)?
Post by: Kelly J. P. on August 12, 2012, 07:40:39 PM
 I dunno. You have a pretty strong jaw and forehead by the looks of it. And, well, I hope you were wearing something a little nicer with that makeup... that's a lot to be wearing, especially this time of year, so it would look completely strange if not complemented with a great outfit.

I can't say whether you're passable or not. Based on the picture, I could probably tell, but that's just me... and it's not really indicative of real life.
Title: Re: Why would people stare (picture included)?
Post by: blue.ocean.girl on August 12, 2012, 08:39:18 PM
From your pic I wouldn't be able to single you out as trans. You look very pretty in that make up. I'd have to agree and say it was probably the good kind of staring.
Title: Re: Why would people stare (picture included)?
Post by: Madison Leigh on August 13, 2012, 12:32:45 AM
Quote from: CalifornianChris on August 12, 2012, 10:45:56 AM
Hello! I went grocery shopping last night for the first time in full makeup. Lots of people were staring. Can anyone tell me why? Were they able to tell that I'm transgender? I'm a big girl and can take the truth so please be honest ;)

I think you look pretty good there.  The other thing I might mention and maybe it doesn't apply to you but it does to me - is that I tend to think more people are staring at me than really are.  I know I have always tended to "people watch" - more now than ever as I find it helpful in picking up those feminine nuances that I've missed out on over the last 40 years.  I do go out of my way not to stare when I do, but I'm sure if somebody looked at me when I was looking towards them they'd think I was. 

Madison
Title: Re: Why would people stare (picture included)?
Post by: lilacwoman on August 13, 2012, 02:20:29 AM
nothing wrong with full makeup so long as its a light covering and not a drag queen get up.

maybe you saw so many stares because you were looking for them?

you have a face and neck many women would love to have.

how's your body language?
Title: Re: Why would people stare (picture included)?
Post by: =celestica= on August 13, 2012, 02:54:56 AM
They were staring because either they saw a pretty girl or a "boy in makeup"(what I got a lot).
It could be both, some can spot out things that others can't.

You don't pass 100% but if people are strolling by then it doesn't matter.
Title: Re: Why would people stare (picture included)?
Post by: GendrKweer on August 13, 2012, 09:11:43 AM
You're asking the wrong folk; it takes one to know one, so you wouldn't fool me I don't think. BUT I'd think you were gorgeous. The average person who is NOT obsessed with gender presentation/modification/reassignment/fitting in would prolly miss the tells. How tall are you? If you're over 6', then it' an uphill battle no matter how feminine you look....I'm 6 2, so I know what i'm on about.  But pretty is pretty is pretty, so be happy!

:P
Title: Re: Why would people stare (picture included)?
Post by: grrl1nside on August 13, 2012, 10:25:00 AM
The hard part is that we cannot see how you were presenting other than from a picture (e.g. height, way she carries herself, voice, etc.). When I saw the picture I thought two very different things. My first reaction was why is she wearing so much makeup for such casual clothes to do a quick shop type of thing. The second was she would pass very well and be attractive when she was dressing up to go out. So, maybe it was the mismatch? Other than that, I cannot see why they would be staring for negative reasons.
Title: Re: Why would people stare (picture included)?
Post by: Angel in the Snow on August 13, 2012, 11:43:21 AM
You look really cute! I can't say whether or not you 'pass' 100%, but nobody does. Especially when asking people who are really good at looking at gender cues. I hope the hormones and transition continue to make you more comfortable in yourself, but really, you're gorgeous the way you are!
Title: Re: Why would people stare (picture included)?
Post by: patstar on August 13, 2012, 10:58:59 PM
"Hello! I went grocery shopping last night for the first time in full makeup. Lots of people were staring. Can anyone tell me why? Were they able to tell that I'm transgender? I'm a big girl and can take the truth so please be honest ;)"

Put me down as believing that they're staring because you're so darn attractive and cute.  Although, curiously: how tall are you?  If you are even anywhere close to six feet, this may be an additional reason why they stare: being tall AND beautiful, you know, will definitely make you the center of attention in most places.  ;)  Looking at your picture, I'd have to say that, in any case, you probably needn't be much concerned about anything negative sweetie.
Title: Re: Why would people stare (picture included)?
Post by: Majik on August 14, 2012, 04:08:04 AM
WELL I AM JEALOUS
Title: Re: Why would people stare (picture included)?
Post by: justmeinoz on August 14, 2012, 04:53:15 AM
Easy.  You look gorgeous.
Title: Re: Why would people stare (picture included)?
Post by: Floritine on August 15, 2012, 11:55:12 AM
There are people that would love a face like yours, you don't have that much make up on and we cant see how you were dressed at the time or you mannerism,
If the women staring at you they were doing what comes naturally (comparing each others fashion /beauty out) and maybe your mind was saying I hope they don't clock me any reason...
Title: Re: Why would people stare (picture included)?
Post by: barbie on August 15, 2012, 07:30:58 PM
Yesterday I walked with my friends along a crowded street of Seoul where many tourists visit. My friends commented that many people watch me, especially women. One noted that even foreingers were staring me. Although some caucasian women were generally taller than aged Korean women, I was probably the tallest person in the street as i wore 4.1 inch high heels. Two photos:
http://i943.photobucket.com/albums/ad278/barbie_pictures/9B269F8A-0CE5-49E2-9337-87FC58C6AE87-435-00000020614335DA.jpg (http://i943.photobucket.com/albums/ad278/barbie_pictures/9B269F8A-0CE5-49E2-9337-87FC58C6AE87-435-00000020614335DA.jpg)

http://i943.photobucket.com/albums/ad278/barbie_pictures/AEB4C6BE-C09E-42DE-AD82-58201B2D1ED4-435-000000204FA6BABE.jpg (http://i943.photobucket.com/albums/ad278/barbie_pictures/AEB4C6BE-C09E-42DE-AD82-58201B2D1ED4-435-000000204FA6BABE.jpg)

I could see that two aged women stared my back. A passer-by commented that I looked magnificient. Another guy spoke to me, asking a cigarette.

It is thrilling when nearly all people in the street stop to wach me. I can enjoy it.

Barbie~~
Title: Re: Why would people stare (picture included)?
Post by: Joann on August 16, 2012, 09:19:08 AM
You look sweet. But what ive noticed when people question us is What sticks out. When i was wearing finger nail polish, i noted they would look at my nails then immediately at my Adams Apple, then my chest, then my crotch then my feet. I have yet to test it in public  but ive learned to suck up my AA :-X

Barbi, Wow your tall. in a asian part of the world you get a lot of looks just becuse your tall. Be carefull of pants. you look a little large. ;)
Title: Re: Why would people stare (picture included)?
Post by: henrytwob on August 16, 2012, 09:41:36 AM
I think you look pretty good - I would notice you! part of it depends where you live. I live in Texas, where many women wouldn't leave their house  w/o make up on if it was burning down around them! As a for tall, I live in a college town we have a lot of tall women here because of our athletic programs. You would definitely blend. The only criticism I would have, women who go out in make also tend to do there nails. I noticed you had polish, but I think fills would probably be in order. Seriously, as a natal female i know what i am talking about - I just couldn't stand doing any of that.

I think people were looking in a good way.
Title: Re: Why would people stare (picture included)?
Post by: EveMarie on August 17, 2012, 11:06:44 PM
My first impression when I saw your pic was "what a sweet looking boy with makeup..." then I read several posts, and went back and studied the pic again... Yes I still see the pretty boy but then the innocent young girl who looks very similar to a young Audrey Hepburn emerges.
http://www.google.com/search?num=10&hl=en&site=imghp&tbm=isch&source=hp&biw=1329&bih=1012&q=Audrey+Hepburn&oq=Audrey+Hepburn&gs_l=img.3..0l10.3854.8602.0.9197.14.8.0.6.6.0.58.194.8.8.0...0.0...1ac.Qe4z8FA8AZ0 (http://www.google.com/search?num=10&hl=en&site=imghp&tbm=isch&source=hp&biw=1329&bih=1012&q=Audrey+Hepburn&oq=Audrey+Hepburn&gs_l=img.3..0l10.3854.8602.0.9197.14.8.0.6.6.0.58.194.8.8.0...0.0...1ac.Qe4z8FA8AZ0)

Maybe I'm jealous, at 61 I can only imagine what having a smooth sweet face is like  ::)

I am curious though... how much makeup did you wear, what kind of clothes, who was staring? young, older people, males, females?

Overall you have a very pretty frame and will no doubt grow into a very beautiful woman...

Be Proud, Blessed Be... Evie
Title: Re: Why would people stare (picture included)?
Post by: sarreb on August 18, 2012, 12:51:01 PM
Whole thread pretty much sums it up, youre pretty, and sort of androgynous, people look at both andro and pretty people a lot.

~S
Title: Re: Why would people stare (picture included)?
Post by: Urban Christina on August 19, 2012, 11:42:33 AM
Thank you everyone for your honest answer ;) To answer the questions asked on here, I'm 5'5" (lucky me, whoo), and was wearing the exact same shirt in the picture. I know I need to go shopping for more girl clothes. . . thanks again everyone!
Title: Re: Why would people stare (picture included)?
Post by: Mosaic dude on August 19, 2012, 11:33:31 PM
I have to agree with the others - I think people are looking because you're beautiful. 

From the pic I would definitely say you pass, but I find passing in a picture isn't necessarily the same as passing in person, so I can't comment on that.  All I can say is you look very feminine in your picture.
Title: Re: Why would people stare (picture included)?
Post by: jazzedpeach79 on August 21, 2012, 03:14:29 AM
Quote from: CalifornianChris on August 12, 2012, 10:45:56 AM
Hello! I went grocery shopping last night for the first time in full makeup. Lots of people were staring. Can anyone tell me why? Were they able to tell that I'm transgender? I'm a big girl and can take the truth so please be honest ;)


The link to my picture:
http://tinypic.com/view.php?pic=6z69hx&s=6 (http://tinypic.com/view.php?pic=6z69hx&s=6)

First of all, you are very beautiful. If you are particularly tall, that also could have motivated some stares. I do like your make-up, but maybe for grocery shopping you could lighten it a touch. I would do maybe one coat of mascara and a light line on the bottom lash -- no shadow on the lid at all. A VERY light bronzer all over the face (including lids) can give you a finished look without looking made up at all.  Your lips and cheeks look great; very soft and feminine. You could also consider swooping your bangs to the side with a bobby pin; kind of laid back but still feminine, 'getting the shopping done' look :)

Title: Re: Why would people stare (picture included)?
Post by: jazzedpeach79 on August 21, 2012, 03:15:37 AM
Sorry -- I just saw that you are 5'5" -- nice :)

Title: Re: Why would people stare (picture included)?
Post by: sfgeek on August 21, 2012, 09:42:54 PM
It may have been a matter of how you hold yourself.  Or they noticed your make-up being more elaborate than your clothing--but that's not necessarily going to get you clocked, it's just going to get you more looks (and those looks might get you clocked, depending on other things).