Well, my t has told me she will write me a referral for the endocrinologist for hrt and I was surprised that I felt anxious.
For myself, I don't really have any doubts that it is the right choice. In fact, I'm rather glad. However, the reality of having to talk to family and so on became much more real although it is not imminent by any means. Oddly enough, my biggest worry is when it comes to the in-laws, but they live in the UK and I only see them once a year so it isn't going to be a concern yet. My partner is generally supportive but every milestone moment opens a can of worms but after a while she returns to being comfortable (usually a day to 2 weeks later).
I know that I was a pile of nerves prior to my first laser appointment (and still do when I call for an appointment, lol), nervous prior to the first t appointment, and this is just another one of those things although it seems so much bigger because now we are moving into the realm of unknown physical changes (any suggestions on how to avoid the ugly stick?).
I'm sure the nervousness is normal and I wonder how you all dealt it or was it heart thumping all the way?
I'm also wondering whether this is the last of the big moments to get edgy other than prior to SRS?...
I got my referral for HRT on a Wednesday, just by sheer luck I got an appointment to see my gyno on the Friday.. I spent the day or so in between a complete mess. It was the culmination of 6 months or so worth of anxiety and hard work - at least the therapist was hard work.. I got the prescriptions but couldn't start until I had some blood work done, so I didn't start until the Saturday. I knew it was right for me, but I still sat and looked at my first dose for an hour or so before I finally took it..
It is perfectly normal to be nervous at each step. I began HRT, self-medicating. I took my life in my hands. I came through it, but I was nervous that I might be killing myself. Thankfully my therapist signed off on a referral and all has been well for 4 years now.
The most nervous I got was when I went in for my orchidectomy. But at my age, I figured they were just one more thing I did not need.
Good News Yet Again! It is natural to be nervous before any change, but you will get used to it before you know it.
Thanks for that, it is reassuring to hear others that nervousness is normal. I try really hard to listen to myself so I could distinguish between what is just being nervous about change rather than self-doubt or something else that I might need to unpack. In this case, it is primarily just change and uncertainty, but it did open up my need to have a better plan for coming out to immediate family although not something that I have to do right away. For me, it also has pushed how much I've moved forward and that I'm increasingly not willing to hide aspects of myself as we all know HRT will have some visible impacts and I'm looking forward to embracing them.
This step is definitely one of the bigger ones for me so thanks again for the kind words of encouragement.