I have been out to my parents for about a year now. My Father tells me I have to dress in men's clothing while visiting them. I went to see them in November after being on HRT for about seven months. It was easy to hide the changes to my body with winter clothing. My two sons and I are going down in June. There are things about my body that don't allow me to be a "guy" around the pool and will have to wear a swim suit. I also really have not talked to him about the fact that I have to wear a bra most of the time. I just don't know how to work through the changes to my body with him because I cannot hide them during the summer and be his "son" like he wants me to. My Father has been really good through all of this for being a Southern Conservative. I need help trying to figure out how to deal with this.
My first thought is that you should send your father a letter with some current pictures in it explaining your dilemma. Has he seen you dressed properly yet? Maybe he will be able to realize that you are not the son he thought he had anymore.
Of course, he might take a look at the picture and ask you not to show up at all.
Maybe a letter without the picture explaining your issue might be better. Or, you can just show up in men's clothes wearing a bra for support and letting him see how obviously female you still look. Tell him the problems that come without support, your mom may just back you up on that.
Or, finally, you can say to them that you are who you are and what they wish for is simply not possible anymore. Plus if you are doing your RLE for GRS, wouldn't reverting back again make it invalid?
It's a tough choice, Robbie, and I don't envy you. Good luck with whatever you decide.
hugs & smiles
helen
Welcome to Susan's. You have certainly come to the right place for information and support. Poke around and see what other threads are here on this topic as well.
Best advice I could give, is talk to your Mom. As a woman she wont have a choice but to understand the swimsuit dilema and would possibly be a help with your Dad.
Quote from: togetherwecan on April 16, 2007, 10:36:13 PM
Best advice I could give, is talk to your Mom.
That's a great idea! Allies are always good ;)
Robbie, it sounds like you've accomodated him about as far as you can. Like you said, you can't hide the physical changes forever, no matter how badly he wants you to. Sooner or later, he's going to have to face the reality of what's happening and learn somehow to accomodate YOU. You were honest with him, you told him a LONG time ago about who you are, and you've been incredibly patient and considerate of his concerns... giving him time to adjust.
So maybe it's up to him now?
~Kate~