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The Bad 'B' Word: A Need for Bisexual AcceptancePosted: 08/20/2012 9:08 pm
by A.J. Walkley
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/aj-walkley/the-bad-b-word-a-need-for-bisexual-acceptance_b_1781589.html (http://www.huffingtonpost.com/aj-walkley/the-bad-b-word-a-need-for-bisexual-acceptance_b_1781589.html)
I, too, was under the impression that if I identified as bisexual, I was negating the fact that I've dated individuals who identify as genderqueer and transgender, and the fact that I am attracted to individuals who do not fit into the "male" and "female" boxes where gender identity is concerned. For years, I identified as "bisexual" as well as "pansexual" in an effort to properly explain to others my sexual identity and desires.
It wasn't until a friend explained the following that I solidified my own bisexual identity: The most accurate definition of "bisexual" and "bisexuality" is "attraction to individuals who are the same as me and different from me," which is the way most bisexual people think of themselves. Think about "homo" meaning "same" and "hetero" meaning "different."
In fact, in the Bisexual Manifesto, written in 1990 by members of the bisexual community, the following was stipulated:
QuoteDo not assume that bisexuality is binary or duogamous in nature: that we have "two" sides or that we must be involved simultaneously with both genders to be fulfilled human beings. In fact, don't assume that there are only two genders.
The often-repeated argument that "bi means two" ignores a simple fact: "Same" and "different" are, indeed, two groups.
This may be true, but it's also true that most people still do assume the binary in bisexual (and always say "so you like men and women, then?") - this is why I like polysexual as a term. It just means I'm attracted to some people, gender regardless.
I'm suspicious of "same as" vs "different from" because so far, I've not met anyone who's the "same as" me :).
I guess it depends on your definition of "man" and "woman" too. If they are broad enough it could be the same as pansexual. Right now I'd settle for Trysexual. :laugh:
Karen.