Susan's Place Transgender Resources

So last week while walking to the grocery store, I passed through this small park-like area that's the most direct way to the store. Really, it probably saves me 2 minutes of walking, but that's a the way I usually go. Last week while passing through there I got to here, "Is that a man or a woman?"

A few months earlier, somebody said directly to me, "Sup, dude."

Today, I took the "long way" around. Like I said, it's only a minute or 2 longer. On my way back, I was heading toward the park-thing when I saw a large group of people who looked like the ones who questioned my appearance last week. I turned and went down the sidewalk, taking the long way around.

I'm conflicted about doing this. I could've just plowed on through like last time, hoping that I wouldn't be mocked or addressed. But, I chose the easy way out by going the long way and avoiding confrontation. I'm not sure what to think of myself for doing this.

QuoteBut, I chose the easy way out by going the long way and avoiding confrontation. I'm not sure what to think of myself for doing this.

You did what any woman would do.  Just to protect ourselves.  Nothing wrong with that.

Quote from: Ms. OBrien on August 27, 2012, 11:04:11 PM
You did what any woman would do.  Just to protect ourselves.  Nothing wrong with that.

Definitely. 

HA! I should've realized that. The macho stuff is a thing of the past.

Just kidding, you didn't take the easy way out you took the intelligent way of avoiding unnecessary conflict with a group of possibly threatening people

Quote from: Ms. OBrien on August 27, 2012, 11:04:11 PM
You did what any woman would do.  Just to protect ourselves.  Nothing wrong with that.

Agreed

Quote from: Ms. OBrien on August 27, 2012, 11:04:11 PM
You did what any woman would do.  Just to protect ourselves.  Nothing wrong with that.

Growing up, this was always something my parents told me to do. I'm having the opposite problem in that I still do that instead of manning up and walking through. You did exactly what any woman would do.

Quote from: Ayden on August 28, 2012, 12:18:03 AM
You did exactly what any woman would do.

You could also follow up with a phone call a bit later,  to the Police reporting suspicious characters loitering.  >:-)

 I've done the same, though for different reasons. I avoid groups of people by principle, as I am very uncomfortable being around them. As such, I take alternate routes quite regularly, relative to the number of times I actually go outside.

Sounds very sensible. I avoid crowd of youths for the same reason. Why place myself in danger?

Aye, it's not the "easy way", it's the caring way.

Thanks, folks. I guess there's still a few of David's habits that Connie has to leave behind.

So today I took the long way again and all was well. Until I was checking out. I was buying wine so the checker asked to see my ID. No big deal, I guess, and I showed it to him. He checked my birth year and said, "69? That's a great number."

I felt really uncomfortable and just left quickly.

When I got home, I called the store and reported it as borderline sexual harassment.

I taught both my daughters to be aware of their surroundings and take the long way if needed, that includes walking or driving btw.
My youngest at 29 weighs about 95 lbs and is a cute pixy of a thing, but I pity the fool who messes with her! She took bitch lessons from her mother and can phisically protect herself like I've never seen before ;)

You did the right thing Connie!

Thanks, Michelle.

Quote from: justmeinoz on August 28, 2012, 03:47:29 AM
You could also follow up with a phone call a bit later,  to the Police reporting suspicious characters loitering.  >:-)

Oh man, I had someone do the "pull out the cell phone" when I was walking down the road behind her. It hit me later that I must have been passing pretty well. Gave me a good laugh since I remember doing the same thing once when I was 17 and walking home. But, if Connie called the police and knowing my luck I'd be in the park and get stopped for acting suspiscious. My best "be a man" act needs a bit of work.  :laugh: It consists of a lot of stiff legged walking and shifty eyes to see if anyone notices.

Quote from: Connie Anne on August 28, 2012, 09:34:20 PM
So today I took the long way again and all was well. Until I was checking out. I was buying wine so the checker asked to see my ID. No big deal, I guess, and I showed it to him. He checked my birth year and said, "69? That's a great number."

I felt really uncomfortable and just left quickly.

When I got home, I called the store and reported it as borderline sexual harassment.

Wow, that's special. Apparently someone needs to learn how to interact with people. Good for you for calling him out on it! I can't imagine saying something like that to anyone I didn't know (friends don't count, we're awful to each other), let alone to a lady.

for my writing I need to go look at old houses, buildings and other locations and I have a really good look around for potential troublemakers before getting out of public sight.

The store manager mentioned that there would be "disciplinary action" taken against the checker, and now I'm a little afraid to go back to that store. This is a bit of a bugger as the store is one of 2 that I walk past on my daily commute. It's the only grocery store within an easy walk of home. There is another store I can use, but it's a bit far if I've got a lot to carry.

Really, what do I fear? Well, possible retaliation. I think I might lay low for a little while, and use other stores.

No you will not Connie! (https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fsmileys.on-my-web.com%2Frepository%2FAnimals%2Fferret-6.gif&hash=105dbcb8acec9232e9cebf362690a85b6bb71a8b)    You will continue to shop at that store and you will do it without fear.

Don't let one person chase you out.   He may have done it to other women and you must stand your ground for all women who shop there.

Quote from: Ms. OBrien on August 29, 2012, 10:27:01 AM
No you will not Connie! (https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fsmileys.on-my-web.com%2Frepository%2FAnimals%2Fferret-6.gif&hash=105dbcb8acec9232e9cebf362690a85b6bb71a8b)    You will continue to shop at that store and you will do it without fear.

Don't let one person chase you out.   He may have done it to other women and you must stand your ground for all women who shop there.

Uh, yes Ma'am!  :-\

There's nothing wrong with laying low from that store for awhile. You did your part by reporting him. At first I didn't think what he said was a big deal, but then realized I'd be pissed if some store clerk said that to my mother or sister.

Thanks, FA.

I'm one of those really naive people who asks "Why can't we all get along" in all seriousness. Really, I just don't get it.

Quote from: Ayden on August 29, 2012, 01:26:56 AM
Oh man, I had someone do the "pull out the cell phone" when I was walking down the road behind her.

I totally do this all the time. 

Quote from: Connie Anne on August 28, 2012, 09:34:20 PM
So today I took the long way again and all was well. Until I was checking out. I was buying wine so the checker asked to see my ID. No big deal, I guess, and I showed it to him. He checked my birth year and said, "69? That's a great number."

Welcome to womanhood.  It's sadly amazing the liberties some guys feel they can take, from insisting on standing waaay too close to me to talk to me, to the point they are backing me into a corner, to making stupid comments.  I have had more than one random guy at a check out counter ask me if the heart key necklace I frequently wear is the key to my heart. 

Quote from: Erica on August 29, 2012, 10:09:17 PM
I have had more than one random guy at a check out counter ask me if the heart key necklace I frequently wear is the key to my heart.

God gods, guys really utter nonsense like that? I weep for our species.

Quote from: Connie Anne on August 29, 2012, 10:29:32 PM
God gods, guys really utter nonsense like that? I weep for our species.

Oh, that's just the mildest of it. 

Quote from: Erica on August 29, 2012, 10:35:20 PM
Oh, that's just the mildest of it.

Wow. I've not yet had anyone try a pick-up line on me yet, mild or otherwise. I've had a few guys flirt with me in a very friendly and non-threatening way. But it was obvious it was just that.

Quote from: Connie Anne on August 29, 2012, 10:58:25 PM
Wow. I've not yet had anyone try a pick-up line on me yet, mild or otherwise. I've had a few guys flirt with me in a very friendly and non-threatening way. But it was obvious it was just that.

Give it time, I think it's almost a rite of passage : P And I totally eat up the friendly, non-threatening ones : ) there are definitely some pretty sweet guys out there : ) those can feel awesome : )

Life is weird.

I was walking into a Gov Office today and a couple of really rough people where at the door. I almost hesitated. I knew the place was really busy and had security guards so I continued. They opened the door for me and apologised for blocking the entrance.  think they had come out for a smoke ::)