So, I was hanging out with a guy I know through my cousin. And during the course of events, he ended up saying something like "Well, she, he wants to do this..." in reference to me. And I realized my cousin must have told him. But he quickly corrected himself without missing a beat and treats me like any other guy. I got the stab of doubt for a moment but then realized it doesn't matter.
And I thought about it. And really it doesn't matter for me. As long as I'm accepted, I don't care. I realize a lot of trans people just want to be stealth and seen and reacted to as if they were cis. I thought I would to. But as long as I'm comfortable with myself and accepted, I don't care if someone knows I'm trans.
Anyway, I'm seen as a cismale by everyone who doesn't know differently. And the more I am, the more I realize being a 'man' isn't all that important to me. I'm just me. I transitioned and I'm comfortable with being someone who transitioned. I really don't care if anyone thinks I'm cis or not.
Anyway, these are just my thoughts. I'm becoming more and more comfortable as someone 'in between' the sexes with a non-traditional body and history and just wanted to share.
Cool story, bro. ;D
I'm somewhat comfortable being in between. I think it's because I see this as a temporary stage. But, yeah, I don't mind identifying as a male-bodied woman.
Quote from: Forum Admin on August 31, 2012, 08:04:51 PM
I'm just me.
That's the best person to be. And as someone who knows you well, 'just' you is awesome. :)
*hugs*
Sweet. :icon_mrhappy:
Congrats Bro,
I think I have been very lucky in that one of my first understandings of being myself was that I didn't care what other people thought about me.
I'm me and very proud to be me. If someone has a problem it isn't my problem. Funnily that attitude drops people dead in their tracks. If they were trying to insult me it failed, I don't care: if they made a mistake, I don't care ; so we all move on.
And people do make mistakes. They knew me as a male looking person before I went FT. So I do get the 'Cindy is looking great she has got a new skirt, I wonder where he bought it.'
Nothing rude is meant. Why let it concern me.
Hugs
Cindy
Quote from: Cindy James on September 01, 2012, 02:39:35 AM
And people do make mistakes. They knew me as a male looking person before I went FT. So I do get the 'Cindy is looking great she has got a new skirt, I wonder where he bought it.'
Nothing rude is meant. Why let it concern me.
Hugs
Cindy
Yeah. He and she in the same sentence. I get that sometimes. With a lot of people I try to remind myself that I knew for years before they did, that they just found out.
Quote from: Cindy James on September 01, 2012, 02:39:35 AM
So I do get the 'Cindy is looking great she has got a new skirt, I wonder where he bought it.'
Nothing rude is meant. Why let it concern me.
I love this.
I'm not sure if I'll end up presenting female full time or not but if I do, I hope I can do it with your attitude.
Nice :). I've just cottoned on to the fact that just because we transition doesn't mean we have to stop being genderqueer ;D. It's good for world diversity...
I've been working on accepting getting a 'he', 'him' or 'sir' before considering or even talking to my family about how I feel. I know this is slightly counter to what the most of the of the members of this site aim for but I do not have the ability to get a transition started at this time in my life anyways. I also present as male when I'm out in public so it's not like there's ever a question of what I am. But there was still a time where just hearing someone 'he', 'him' or 'sir' me felt like another day I wished I hadn't left the house. The more time I seem to spend accepting that fact that I may not be able to change who I am, the less I concentrate on how upset I would get when I hear 'he', 'him' or 'sir'.
It does feel good though to finally be in this state of mind, for me at least. I'm glad to hear yet another person is able to accept the position they're in, especially coming from you.
/start boy mode
/me cracks open a beer
Here's one for you!
/end boy mode
Quote from: Cindy James on September 01, 2012, 02:39:35 AM
'Cindy is looking great she has got a new skirt, I wonder where he bought it.'
This would make the world a much better place. Now if we could only get everyone to accept or at least quietly ignore the choices others make.
Seems healthy. Some of you mtf, ftm types may even start to be getting sane as an androgyne.
Never as well as you , Pica.
I have found it doesn't bother me anymore, mostly because of the shocked looks given to the person who misgendered me.
Just another day in the life, huh. Cool deal, sexy FA
Quote from: Pica Pica on September 01, 2012, 06:26:27 PM
Seems healthy. Some of you mtf, ftm types may even start to be getting sane as an androgyne.
Quite a few things come full circle, given time and a chance to understand.
Windows of insight into your
self are usually worth the effort to look through.
You just may see others there, too.
Psychologists make me laugh sometimes.
Realizing that sometimes we really know better, makes me smile.
Ativan
Even though gender-wise I feel like a woman, I consider myself male because I give more validity to my sex organs. I think that's why it doesn't bother me as much as it might otherwise when people expect me to be masculine. I think it's fine to show traits of both genders as long as you're secure in who you are. I think the numerous amount of possible sex and gender identities makes it tough for most people to not eventually say the wrong thing; I still slip up sometimes.
I think that is a good and healthy mentality to have :) ever since I transitioned to female I've had this inate fear of being called he, or seen as trans... And I spent a lot of time obsessing about it... To the point where it was affecting my quality of life. However, like you, I had a realization that my gender didn't really matter... That I was me and I was happy. I then started to dress more inbetween, and some days going more extreme and being completely female, or even sometimes completely male (which I would never never considered otherwise). Oddly, ive found that when I dress completely male, everyone still calls me female... Which is actually kinda funny and makes me realize how silly it was for me to obsess so much about something as little as pronouns.
Quote from: Forum Admin on August 31, 2012, 08:04:51 PM
So, I was hanging out with a guy I know through my cousin. And during the course of events, he ended up saying something like "Well, she, he wants to do this..." in reference to me. And I realized my cousin must have told him. But he quickly corrected himself without missing a beat and treats me like any other guy. I got the stab of doubt for a moment but then realized it doesn't matter.
And I thought about it. And really it doesn't matter for me. As long as I'm accepted, I don't care. I realize a lot of trans people just want to be stealth and seen and reacted to as if they were cis. I thought I would to. But as long as I'm comfortable with myself and accepted, I don't care if someone knows I'm trans.
Anyway, I'm seen as a cismale by everyone who doesn't know differently. And the more I am, the more I realize being a 'man' isn't all that important to me. I'm just me. I transitioned and I'm comfortable with being someone who transitioned. I really don't care if anyone thinks I'm cis or not.
Anyway, these are just my thoughts. I'm becoming more and more comfortable as someone 'in between' the sexes with a non-traditional body and history and just wanted to share.
My thoughts exactly as I just started a new thread "Self Acceptance" in the MtF forum. Something we seem to be more readily coming to terms with here in the Androgynous forum than are those struggling through full MtF transition.
I guess self acceptance is born out love, you have to love yourself or nobody will. Accepting your self means learning to forgive youself, other, and the bad "cards" that life has give to you.
Once you master self acceptance, then it is easy to accept, forgive, and love others.
Like, Dr. Hawking once said: "I am jailed to this chair, but my mind is free"
Quote from: Forum Admin on August 31, 2012, 08:04:51 PM
And really it doesn't matter for me. As long as I'm accepted, I don't care. I realize a lot of trans people just want to be stealth and seen and reacted to as if they were cis. I thought I would to. But as long as I'm comfortable with myself and accepted, I don't care if someone knows I'm trans...... I'm just me.
What a great way to be Congratulations. !!!!!!!!!!!!! I am very happy for you Once you accept yourself life begins again.