Hi all, I'm brand new to this board, so please bear with me.
For a little bit of background to my problem, I'm a 26 year old female and internally identify as male. I don't plan on or intend to transition, but I do dress as male and am often confused for a male. I remember having dreams when I was about five years old that I was born a boy, but my parents surgically altered me into a girl (didn't actually happen). I'm now dating a girl who had never been with a girl before me, and still identifies as "straight" even though we've been together for almost two years. She says she doesn't see me as being female, but not male either.
My girlfriend is a very beautiful woman and often gets attention from actual guys. This has brought up a whole bunch of insecurities that I didn't even know that I had. Every time she gets attention or some guy pursues her, I feel like I'm going to lose her to him because I'm not male and so I can't compete with him. It's stressful and tiring to constantly be worrying and feeling like I'm not good enough because I wasn't born the way I feel inside and not the gender of partner that my girlfriend is used to. She reassures me that she's not interested, that I don't have to compete for her because I already have her, and that she wants to be with me, but for some reason it just doesn't feel like it. This has caused a strain on our relationship because we are always fighting about this.
I don't know what to do to not feel like I'm less of a partner because I'm not male. If anyone can point me in the direction of resources to deal with this, I'd be very grateful. I don't have much income right now so counseling is out of the question unfortunately. Thank y'all in advance for any comments/suggestions.
If you internally identify yourself as a man, then you are man, and project UR self as such. That is why ur gf is in love with you, and declares herself straight.
Worrying about her is only going to screw up things between u and your gf. Just chilax and love ur lady dude!
Quote from: Slim24 on September 13, 2012, 02:51:22 PM
Thank y'all in advance for any comments/suggestions.
Your girlfriend is lucky to have you for lots of reasons (that you know better than I do, because all I have to go on is one post).
When you understand that, you will find yourself a lot less insecure.
I was also born female but I do intend to transition to male very soon. My girlfriend isn't straight though. She is 100% lesbian. Which is one reason I kept me from opening up about my transgender feelings. I was afraid I would lose her if I transitioned to male because well..she likes women, not men. But since I have opened to to her about being transgender we have become so much more closer than before. Every once in awhile I'll get a little worried thinking she might not wanna be with me anymore once I look male but she always assures me that I am the same person she fell in love with on the inside no matter how I look on the outside. I don't know if the thought will ever COMPLETELY go out of my mind. But I know as long as we trust each other and have faith in our relationship that everything will be OK because love doesn't see with the eyes, it feels with the heart and no matter what if your girlfriend is in love with you it won't matter what gender comes along and tries to steal her away, she is yours.