Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Community Conversation => Transsexual talk => Male to female transsexual talk (MTF) => Topic started by: Elsa.G on September 15, 2012, 08:06:24 AM

Title: How do you get over being clocked? :(
Post by: Elsa.G on September 15, 2012, 08:06:24 AM
I went clubbing with a friend a few hours back and on my way to the woman's restroom, a security guard told me i had to use the men's room (he said he could already tell i was male) - right in front of many other people waiting to go in the restroom :/ i was insulted and to add salt to the wounds many people were laughing at me. Im feeling extremely low
Title: Re: How do you get over being clocked? :(
Post by: Devlyn on September 15, 2012, 08:52:51 AM
You say to yourself "What rude people!" and put it behind you. Hold your head high and let them hang their heads in shame. Hugs, Devlyn
Title: Re: How do you get over being clocked? :(
Post by: suzifrommd on September 15, 2012, 10:58:03 AM
Quote from: Devlyn Marie on September 15, 2012, 08:52:51 AM
You say to yourself "What rude people!" and put it behind you. Hold your head high and let them hang their heads in shame. Hugs, Devlyn

Good advice, though I'd say what happened to OP went beyond rudeness. She was denied access to the appropriate restroom in a humiliating way.

Might not hurt to speak to the management. If there's an LGBT activist organization in your area, you might be able to ask them for help.
Title: Re: How do you get over being clocked? :(
Post by: Ms. OBrien CVT on September 15, 2012, 11:48:40 AM
Not knowing where you live, you may want to check into the laws in your area.  I live in Oregon and they can not exclude me from the Ladies room.  But I have never been turned away or stopped.
Title: Re: How do you get over being clocked? :(
Post by: jessicas37 on September 15, 2012, 12:34:46 PM
I wish there was an easy way to "get over being clocked" but there is not. I am post op and live in my own little fantasy world, I pretend it doesnt bother me but i go home some nights and just cry. I know i dont "pass" and probably never will and i do not foresee in the immediate future having the money for FFS. I live in my "fantasy" world and just move on i pretend the stares i get from other women are looking at my outfit. Or the chuckles from small girls(13-21yr olds are brutal) as if they just got told a funny joke. As soon it quit bothering me, in my mind it started happening alot less. the best advise i have is love your self and who you and to hell with those who dont agree.
Title: Re: How do you get over being clocked? :(
Post by: Maya Zimmerman on September 15, 2012, 12:35:54 PM
Quote from: Ms. OBrien on September 15, 2012, 11:48:40 AM
Not knowing where you live, you may want to check into the laws in your area.  I live in Oregon and they can not exclude me from the Ladies room.  But I have never been turned away or stopped.

Definitely important, especially the particular law.  I'd seen before that we have transgender protections for restroom use here in IL, but when I looked up the law, it specifically says that people are allowed to use the restroom that matches their gender identification, not gender identity.  In the opening section of the changes made to protect transgender people, gender identification is defined as the gender listed on a person's ID card.  In other words, a MTF has to use the men's restroom, by law here, until having SRS and getting her gender marker changed.
Title: Re: How do you get over being clocked? :(
Post by: crowcrowcrow on September 15, 2012, 12:51:42 PM
Well, I don't think this guard was trained and told to stop every transsexual female from going to ladies bathroom !

This was his personal choice, his personal rudeness, his personal stupidity, his personal issue he got with trans-women.

Don't leave it like that, go there, grab this men's name and alarm his supervisor or whoever is above him.

His job is not to protect cis-people from "sick, bad trans people", what he did was his personal issue, do sth about it!