Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Community Conversation => Transsexual talk => Female to male transsexual talk (FTM) => Topic started by: Magnus on September 20, 2012, 01:10:37 AM

Title: Wow.
Post by: Magnus on September 20, 2012, 01:10:37 AM
Started T today... and our dog died.

Still can't believe it.

Just like how on the day of getting my license, my cat disappeared for good too.

So today will forever be marred.

And I'd been feeling so damn great up until then.

Story of my life.

RIP Weasel.
Title: Re: Wow.
Post by: Jamie D on September 20, 2012, 01:40:30 AM
I had to put our nearly 13-year old family Labrador Retriever down in July 2010.  I still grieve.
Title: Re: Wow.
Post by: Devlyn on September 20, 2012, 06:20:33 AM
Sorry about that. I lost my best friend Lewis in 2010. I know how bad it feels. Hugs, Devlyn
Title: Re: Wow.
Post by: anibioman on September 20, 2012, 09:12:06 AM
that sounds like my brothers birthday, my youngest brother was brought home from the hospital, then my dog died, all on the same day. it was very weird, sucky day.
Title: Re: Wow.
Post by: Magnus on September 20, 2012, 09:58:59 AM
Yeah. Its just the way it happened. I diagnosed her congestive heart failure a few months ago and we started treating that... and she was perfectly fine. Until she wasn't. She'd had this before, the only telltale was the panting (not even unusual) and by the time the cyanosis decided to show up it was already too late for the diuretics to do anything. And then from there she just seized, frothed and went. So quickly we had only just gotten through to the after-hours vet to try and get her in and then that was just it.

It was a pleural effusion. And it was extremely hard to watch... more than when you take them in for the jab, because you know they're at least asleep first and not feeling anything. And its even more difficult to be the one to have to confirm it... can't explain why, it just is. The only consolation is that the diminished oxygenation disorientates so she wasn't suffering unduly. And I think it was better she went here at home, and also not alone. Just regret there was nothing else to do. If she'd not been acting so damn stoic all day, we might have been able to do something more and stop it but... given it was from CHF it would have just kept happening so... I think it was for the best, in the end. For her. Happened how it should have.

I just feel guilty because we spent two hours for my appointment. Should have been at home. This literally happened barely two hours later. She was waiting for us all to be together.
Title: Re: Wow.
Post by: AdamMLP on September 20, 2012, 04:00:05 PM
I know how you feel, every time a pet of mine has died it's always been when I've been on holiday.  I was terrified to go away last time because one of my dogs is really getting on a bit and in my head it feels like if I don't go away then he can't ever die.  I'd always been really young up until my grandad's dog died - also while I was on holiday - and although I rarely saw him every time I go over there it's totally empty without him.  Dogs' are capable of building such a strong bond with people, even after three nights of looking after a friends dog the house and my chest felt completely empty and I kept waking up looking for her before realising that she'd gone back home, so I can't imagine that it would be like to lose a friend after years of companionship.

But she was in her home and her family was around her, and often that's miles more than what we're able to grant human family members even though that's their only desire left, so at least you can take comfort in the fact she went in a way that she would be happiest.  And that she got to see you on the next part of your transition.
Title: Re: Wow.
Post by: aleon515 on September 20, 2012, 05:41:27 PM
Not just dogs. My wonderful Maine Coon died a couple years ago. Such a sweet boy he was!
I still miss him sometimes, but I've stopped seeing what I guess are illusions of him (I'd see something black and white and sometimes think it was him just for a second).

I think their lifespans are so short compared to ours, we have a lot of losses like this in our lives if we love animals. I'm sorry for your loss. :(

--Jay J
Title: Re: Wow.
Post by: Padma on September 20, 2012, 05:50:54 PM
Weasel died, and you were born x
Title: Re: Wow.
Post by: Snowman77 on September 24, 2012, 08:56:03 PM
I'm sorry for your lost but at the same time I'm happy that you started T.
Title: Re: Wow.
Post by: Felix on October 01, 2012, 06:17:59 AM
I'm not sure I really understood peoples' attachment to their pets until recently. I hope you don't let losing your animal friend color the experience of starting T too much.