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Community Conversation => Transsexual talk => Male to female transsexual talk (MTF) => Topic started by: AbraCadabra on September 21, 2012, 03:01:21 AM

Title: Wanting to be sexy and wanting sex... not quite the same, or?
Post by: AbraCadabra on September 21, 2012, 03:01:21 AM
Something that strikes me is all too often misunderstood, misread,  simply missed -
Maybe even by judges?

In any case the one is =/= the other as far as I can feel it.

Your experience?

Axélle
Title: Re: Wanting to be sexy and wanting sex... not quite the same, or?
Post by: Kelly J. P. on September 21, 2012, 04:26:16 AM
 They're certainly different from each other. I would love to be sexy, but really only for myself, as I am not terribly interested in pursuing any sort of relationship.
Title: Re: Wanting to be sexy and wanting sex... not quite the same, or?
Post by: Carlita on September 21, 2012, 04:47:01 AM
It's 100% true that there is a huge difference between wanting to feel sexy in oneself and desirable to others, on the one hand, and wanting sex on the other.

But there are complications, for example ...

Sometimes sexy-looking women actually do want sex - though not with any old partner

Some young women exploit their sexuality, giving the impression that they are more interested in sex than they really are, usually without having the faintest ideas of the risks they're taking by doing this

Media images of women continually and deliberately confuse the two issues, suggesting that sexy-looking women are also available for sex (if you buy the right body-spray, drive the right car, etc, etc)

It can be very frustrating for a woman who has made an effort to look desirable if no one even signals their interest, particularly if there is someone she actually wants to attract, and ...

The only way a man can be sure whether the woman he is with is just feeling sexy, or wanting sex with him is by making a move on her ... which can cause problems, to put it mildly.

BTW ... before anyone jumps to conclusions, NONE of the above justifies or excuses acts of sexual violence, harassment, rape, etc ... I'm just pointing out that real life, and real sex get complicated sometimes
Title: Re: Wanting to be sexy and wanting sex... not quite the same, or?
Post by: vivienne on September 21, 2012, 07:23:30 AM
I've decide to not have sex anymore until after srs and recovery and yet I still want to be sexy. So yes there is a difference for me, at the moment.
Title: Re: Wanting to be sexy and wanting sex... not quite the same, or?
Post by: Jayne on September 21, 2012, 08:31:36 AM
Hmm, interesting question

I think they are seperate but one can lead to the other creating a grey area, if you want to attract a mate then you try to make yourself look sexy, if you look sexy & someone notices & compliments you then it can lead to thoughts of sex.

Often when I go out as female I feet very sexy (regardless of what others think) but sex couldn't be further from my mind
Title: Re: Wanting to be sexy and wanting sex... not quite the same, or?
Post by: Rita on September 21, 2012, 10:04:14 AM
Sex is an act
Sexy is a feeling

One can lead to the other, but doesn't have to.  It is mainly men who translate Sexy as Sexual in a perverted manner.  While certain religious people see it as sexual deviance to feel good about yourself.
Title: Re: Wanting to be sexy and wanting sex... not quite the same, or?
Post by: Elsa on September 21, 2012, 10:05:33 AM
Nope!!!

definitely not the same - and for someone to use a woman's desires to feel beautiful and sexy as an excuse for sexual assault, rape, etc is just plain wrong.

sometimes one leads to the other since wanting to feel sexy often leads us to do things that attract attention - sometimes wanted and sometimes unwanted - and like others have said so far it just gets complicated from there...
Title: Re: Wanting to be sexy and wanting sex... not quite the same, or?
Post by: Jenny_B_Good on September 22, 2012, 07:15:59 AM
Hmmm.... Both are feelings, yet in different ways.

One's internal- feeling sexy within one's self.
The other is external. Looking for gratification outside one's experience.

I guess sometimes you can get a feeling of sexiness from sexual relations, but for myself, it's usually the precursor.

Love Jenn

XOXOX