1. Go to a second-hand store and buy a pair of men's used size 14-16 work boots.
2. Place them on your front porch, along with a copy of Guns & Ammo Magazine.
3. Put a few giant dog dishes next to the boots and magazines.
4. Leave a note on your door that reads:
"Hey Bubba, Big Jim, Duke and Slim, I went for more ammunition.
Back in an hour. Don't mess with the pit bulls - they attacked the mailman this morning
and messed him up real bad. I don't think Killer took part in it but
it was hard to tell from all the blood. Anyway, I locked all four
of 'em in the house. Better wait outside.
"Cooter"
Beverly
I love it!
Cindi
You described the front porch of about half of the houses in my little town. Fortunately our town is small enough that everyone goes down to the teeny little post office to get their mail so there is no letter carrier for the dogs to eat. I do know one family who is being sued by the meter reader for getting bit. I'm serious!!!
I'm glad I can still laugh at your joke but it is a bit scary living here. Mostly coon hounds rather than bit bulls.
By the way, the other half of the folks that live in this town are the nicest people you could ever hope to meet.
Debbie