I'm over a year and a half on T and still getting Ma'm on the phone. I just got m'am over the phone today. I did correct her though. She just apologized and said the phones there are bad, which is probably not true b/c my voice is still extremely high.
Is anyone still getting Ma'm over the phone being almost 2 years on T?
My voice has not changed in a year. Will it get any deeper since it hasn't changed in a year?
I used to think, yes it should, but given I spent half my life with T naturally in my system and my voice is naturally mostly in the female range, I cannot be certain if that applies. Some people develop faster than others. One thing that may help with your phone issue is change how you answer the phone. I think that's a big part of why I get called Ma'am on the phone these days. ^_^
I am 10 months on T and I am ma'am every once and a while ... but I have weird stuff going on so my doctor is trying to fix it and says once that happens the T will be more effective. We keep upping my T dosage even though I am in the male range....I am in the middle high range so I am not converting to E
Quote from: Dominick_81 on September 24, 2012, 11:42:33 AM
I'm over a year and a half on T and still getting Ma'm on the phone. I just got m'am over the phone today. I did correct her though. She just apologized and said the phones there are bad, which is probably not true b/c my voice is still extremely high.
Is anyone still getting Ma'm over the phone being almost 2 years on T?
My voice has not changed in a year. Will it get any deeper since it hasn't changed in a year?
Do guys in your family have quite high voices? if they do then probably not. I guess it would depend also on how high it was to begin with. I don't get ma'm on the phone and im just over 7 months on T but, Ive always been asked my name first so they know based on that if im a boy or a girl.
I think what Keaira says is true, it makes a difference how you talk on the phone.
Your voice should deepen a little more...
I am sorry you're in the position you're in. I haven't gotten ma'amed since around the 3 month mark, and even before then I could manipulate my voice to sound masculine.
Quote from: Keaira on September 24, 2012, 12:42:48 PM
I used to think, yes it should, but given I spent half my life with T naturally in my system and my voice is naturally mostly in the female range, I cannot be certain if that applies. Some people develop faster than others. One thing that may help with your phone issue is change how you answer the phone. I think that's a big part of why I get called Ma'am on the phone these days. ^_^
Yeah, usually when I'm on the phone, my voice starts to go way up. I don't know why I talk so high on the phone. I think I do it cause I want to sound polite and if I talk lower it sounds harsher, I guess...?
Quote from: Robert Scott on September 24, 2012, 01:56:21 PM
I am 10 months on T and I am ma'am every once and a while ... but I have weird stuff going on so my doctor is trying to fix it and says once that happens the T will be more effective. We keep upping my T dosage even though I am in the male range....I am in the middle high range so I am not converting to E
It sucks getting ma'am especially when your so used to getting mister. Sorry that happens to you sometimes.
Quote from: Tom on September 24, 2012, 01:59:05 PM
Do guys in your family have quite high voices? if they do then probably not. I guess it would depend also on how high it was to begin with. I don't get ma'm on the phone and im just over 7 months on T but, Ive always been asked my name first so they know based on that if im a boy or a girl.
I think what Keaira says is true, it makes a difference how you talk on the phone.
All the guys in my family have normal low male voices, none of them are high.
Your lucky your voice is deep and started passing at 7 months. I'm so disappointed that my voice hasn't deepen like it should have.
Quote from: TessaM on September 24, 2012, 03:49:22 PM
My dad is a, man and even he gets mam'd (tho relatively infrequently) over the phone.
That sucks. That has happen to my friend to a couple of times, but these are old ladies who are ms-gendering his voice over the phone.
Quote from: Hayzer12 on September 24, 2012, 04:55:01 PM
Your voice should deepen a little more...
I am sorry you're in the position you're in. I haven't gotten ma'amed since around the 3 month mark, and even before then I could manipulate my voice to sound masculine.
I hope it deepens more. Your lucky too you voice was passing at 3 months. My voice was the same as pre-T voice at 3 months I think.
Quote from: Dominick_81 on September 25, 2012, 01:03:09 PM
Yeah, usually when I'm on the phone, my voice starts to go way up. I don't know why I talk so high on the phone. I think I do it cause I want to sound polite and if I talk lower it sounds harsher, I guess...?
I have the same problem. I want to sound polite, so I answer in a more feminine way. It's so ingrained, lol. I don't think my voice would pass as male yet anyway, but it doesn't help when I answer like a girl.
Quote from: edderkopp on September 25, 2012, 01:31:53 PM
I have the same problem. I want to sound polite, so I answer in a more feminine way. It's so ingrained, lol. I don't think my voice would pass as male yet anyway, but it doesn't help when I answer like a girl.
How many months on T are you?
If it helps my other half is always getting misgendered over the phone, I think it is to do with the "telephone voice" phenomenon :P If your voice is questionable and you try to annunciate and speak politely it comes across female. I don't pass in person and I do over the phone, but I don't have a telephone voice. I hate using the phone, it makes me nervous, so I tend to mumble and speak too fast and do a lot of "uuuuuh...eeerm" in between every sentence.
Its kind of some wierd mental block. I can talk feminine, but once I pick up a phone its like ugh heh eh hey dude. Some of us over exert ourselves on the phone(I always have). We get louder ect ect.
Its like I forget how to speak, and just go with what is physically easier.
I use phones as little as possible but where I know that I can speak fairly deeply normally when I'm at work - and trying to be polite and not throw the food in peoples faces/murder my boss - my voice always goes really high. And it's not just me who notices it, my girlfriend's been in fits of laughter when she was sitting at the bar while I was waiting.
Yes. 4.5 years later. I hate my voice.
Quote from: Jeatyn on September 25, 2012, 01:59:33 PM
If it helps my other half is always getting misgendered over the phone, I think it is to do with the "telephone voice" phenomenon :P If your voice is questionable and you try to annunciate and speak politely it comes across female. I don't pass in person and I do over the phone, but I don't have a telephone voice. I hate using the phone, it makes me nervous, so I tend to mumble and speak too fast and do a lot of "uuuuuh...eeerm" in between every sentence.
Yeah, I do that too, speak fast on the phone and do lots of "uuuuuh...eeerm" in between every sentence and studder as well.
Quote from: sneakersjay on September 25, 2012, 09:29:01 PM
Yes. 4.5 years later. I hate my voice.
I'm sorry.
Thanks for the responses everybody.
Quote from: edderkopp on September 25, 2012, 01:31:53 PM
I have the same problem. I want to sound polite, so I answer in a more feminine way. It's so ingrained, lol. I don't think my voice would pass as male yet anyway, but it doesn't help when I answer like a girl.
Thank you for an insight that helps me in the other direction. We have had some forest fires in my area, and my voice has been a
little scratchy because of it. Still, I couldn't understand why suddenly after not getting sir-ed on the phone in many months, I got 4 in a row. Turns out the smoke was giving me severe sinus headaches, which made me surly, which made my normal extra-politeness jump out the window. It was enough to misgender me! There were times my voice was much less "passable" but I was a sweet polite thing on the phone and I had no trouble passing as female.
So if you could practice that surliness ("You want a piece of me?!!!) a little it might tip you over the edge like it did me this week.
Quote from: Dominick_81 on September 25, 2012, 01:03:09 PM
All the guys in my family have normal low male voices, none of them are high.
Your lucky your voice is deep and started passing at 7 months. I'm so disappointed that my voice hasn't deepen like it should have.
My voice is male but I would say it is JUST within the male range. I'm not sure if it will drop anymore or not. It isn't anywhere near as deep as my dads so that's a disappointment.
I believe that I pass on the phone purely because of how I speak on it. I doubt anyone would pick up the phone and instantly think I'm male 100% of the time purely based on my voice.
I used to have the female 'go high' thing but not much because I'm fairly shy and don't tend to express myself much. I just listened to how other guys answered the phone.
Most men I have listened to sound assertive on the phone. Even when they are asking a question they sound like they're in charge. Where as the women I have listened to tend to sound like they are always asking a question.
For example my mum will ring up for a pizza and ask for one in exactly the same tone as she'd use to ask someone if they mind her using the spare chair on there table. She asks like there's the possibility she might be denied.
My dad will ring up and ask for a pizza as though he's not asking but rather saying 'I want one so give it to me'. He sounds polite of course but its a demand rather then a question.
This seems to be the case in nearly all phone conversations they have, regardless of who it is they are talking to.
Could just be my family of course but that's what I've picked up. I am naturally laid back and blunt so I tend to use those qualities on the phone. I also (though I'm still a bit uncomfortable doing it because of my shyness) say mate when I'm talking to another guy. This is because typically in my part of the world men when talking to other men on the phone or in a shop will refer to other men as mate. Sometimes women do it to men too but it's much rarer.
Anyways that's just what I do, hopefully you might have found something useful in all that text lol
Quote from: Dominick_81 on September 26, 2012, 03:26:27 PM
Are you happy with the changes so far?
I am. I mean, my effects are happening in a different order than most guys on T. I wish my voice was deeper and I wish I passed on sight. But I am ecstatic with everything else, the fat redistribution, the hair, skin texture, muscles, downstairs growth. And I just feel a lot better emotionally on T. I couldn't handle the girl hormones.
@Tom: Thanks for the info. :)
@edderkopp: Glad you are happy so far with your changes. I'm sure you'll be passing on sight soon and your voice will gradually get deeper as well.
Whether you get Ma'am or Sir can be almost guaranteed on the phone if you learn one basic bit of muscle control. The -position- of your voice box/adams apple/vocal chords.
First, try to 'pull' them up into the very top of your throat. Getting the BACK of your tongue high toward the roof of the mouth and keeping the front part of your tongue in its normal position will help you isolate the muscle. Now try to talk.
That's the high pitch. Good. You got the muscle isolated (you do it this way because trying to go down first is harder if you haven't found the muscle and learned the sensation of moving it). Once you have, try to do the opposite and push it down toward your chest. When you try to speak like that it will sound MUCH deeper. May raise eyebrows if you suddenly change in person, but over the phone those pesky callers won't notice anything off and you will get addressed as sir. May take some practice to get it just right but trust me my cisgender dad uses a deeper phone voice, for the same reason I suspect!
I never get m'amed on the phone anymore.
I'm sorry to hear it's still happening to you though.
Perhaps you should see a voice coach if it's that much of concern to you still, Dominick?
Just a suggestion though.
:3
@ChaoticTribe: Thanks for the tip.
@JasonRX: Your lucky you never get ma'am on the phone. I can't afford a voice coach. I have no money. And if I did have money I wouldn't spend it a voice coach. I would just try to learn to speak in a deeper tone so it passes as male. Hopefully soon I will start to pass over the phone.
Quote from: Dominick_81 on September 29, 2012, 10:05:26 PM
@JasonRX: Your lucky you never get ma'am on the phone. I can't afford a voice coach. I have no money. And if I did have money I wouldn't spend it a voice coach. I would just try to learn to speak in a deeper tone so it passes as male.
My point was being properly taught how to do this (other than guessing) might benefit you immensely if you're really at a loss. If you can't afford it in anyway whatsoever though, that's obviously another issue though.
Quote from: JasonRX on September 29, 2012, 11:27:49 PM
My point was being properly taught how to do this (other than guessing) might benefit you immensely if you're really at a loss. If you can't afford it in anyway whatsoever though, that's obviously another issue though.
Oic. But yeah, I have no income at all so I wouldn't be able to do that.
I'd like to hear Dominick's voice. :)
If you're not usually mistaken in person, so I think you should not be too worry about it.
Quote from: Shamrock on November 06, 2012, 03:04:03 PM
I'd like to hear Dominick's voice. :)
If you're not usually mistaken in person, so I think you should not be too worry about it.
I'll try to get a recording up soon. My recordings from my ipod don't work anymore, so I'll try to do it from my phone.
I do still have a hard time passing when people don't know my name. I seem to pass better with short hair. But I don't care for short hair and I'd rather have my hair long, so as long as I have my hair long, I can't pass very well which sucks.
I got ma'am'ed at a drivethrough the other day when ordering food. I wanted to just drive away.
I'm almost 9 months on T and still get ma'amed over the phone. Surprisingly my voice is deeper in real life as opposed to the phone or in videos. It doesn't bother me too much.
Quote from: Christopher_Marius on November 06, 2012, 06:40:00 PM
I got ma'am'ed at a drivethrough the other day when ordering food. I wanted to just drive away.
Sorry about that. How long have you been on T for?
Quote from: Darrin Scott on November 06, 2012, 06:52:38 PM
I'm almost 9 months on T and still get ma'amed over the phone. Surprisingly my voice is deeper in real life as opposed to the phone or in videos. It doesn't bother me too much.
It sucks getting ma'am over the phone.
Yeah, people say the phone alters your voice a little bit, but I don't hear much of a change. I'm hoping my voice is deeper in person than on the phone.
Quote from: Darrin Scott on November 06, 2012, 06:52:38 PM
I'm almost 9 months on T and still get ma'amed over the phone. Surprisingly my voice is deeper in real life as opposed to the phone or in videos. It doesn't bother me too much.
I'm interested to know how you know that your voice is deeper in real life than on the phone or in video... Has someone told you or are you just going by how you sound to your own ears? Because I cringe so badly at the sound of my voice when it echoes back up the phone and I'm really not hoping that's my natural voice.
My girlfriend told me.
I still get ma'amed on occasion over the phone. Dunno why and I'm 2 years on T.
sorry about that Nygeel, I know how much that sucks. Hopefully soon you won't get ma'am anymore over the phone. I've heard your voice before and you sound completely male.
Quote from: Alex000000 on November 06, 2012, 09:46:24 PM
I'm interested to know how you know that your voice is deeper in real life than on the phone or in video... Has someone told you or are you just going by how you sound to your own ears? Because I cringe so badly at the sound of my voice when it echoes back up the phone and I'm really not hoping that's my natural voice.
I have found out by listening to people in real life and on phones and other stuff (like skype) that people a vary deep voice sounds deeper (like scary deep), but everyone else have a lighter voice (male and female range). I'm not sure how this makes sense.
My friend worked on the phones for years before he transitioned. When most girls talk on the phone they go higher in pitch but they also exaggerate the highness on certain words like 'hello' and at the end of sentences. I guess to sound polite, anyways he did that because everyone around him did and when he started T he still automatically just went high before he realised he was doing it. It took him ages to break out of the habit and become more monotone but since he has he always passes on the phone. So maybe for some of you it's not your voice but the way you talk?
I'd be curious if you guys correct people, and if so how do you do it?
thanks,
--Jay J
Quote from: aleon515 on November 07, 2012, 12:39:51 PM
I'd be curious if you guys correct people, and if so how do you do it?
thanks,
--Jay J
I'm very direct. I'm all "actually, it's 'Sir'" and I don't even pretend to be friendly or joking about it. It's a serious matter for me.
I was buying a pair of gym shoes last weekend and another customer tried to interrupt the staff member who was helping me, so the staff member said "I'll help you in a minute after I've finished with this lady" (meaning me). I looked him straight in the eye, gave him a wry smile and said "Actually, I'm not a lady - but thanks anyway".
Gaah. I hate passing so terribly. C'mon Charing Cross, sort out your Admin issues and get me in for my appointment!