Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Community Conversation => Transgender talk => Topic started by: suzifrommd on September 28, 2012, 03:24:19 PM

Title: What do you say?
Post by: suzifrommd on September 28, 2012, 03:24:19 PM
Hypothetical situation (getting more likely each time I go out).

You're not full time, but out in public dressing opposite to your birth sex. You run into someone you know. They recognize you (maybe because of someone you're with).

What do you say?
Title: Re: What do you say?
Post by: Brooke777 on September 28, 2012, 03:26:03 PM
I just say hi, and act like there is nothing going on. I just act normal, and most people don't say anything.
Title: Re: What do you say?
Post by: JulieC. on September 29, 2012, 12:02:52 PM
Me too. I would just say hi.  What else would you do?  make up some silly excuse.  Wouldn't be believable unless it was Halloween.  If they asked why I was dressed that way, I think I would just say it's a long story and some day I'll tell you all about it.
Title: Re: What do you say?
Post by: Taka on September 29, 2012, 12:17:34 PM
"i just felt like trying something new" would be an interesting answer to "why are you dressed like...?"
it's hard to criticize something you do because you want to, even if you were a super macho man in a frilly pink dress. how could anyone know that you're not dressing up for some weird occasion that they wouldn't want to know too much about?

i don't really think a coincidental meeting on the street is reason for you to explain your gender issues to a random acquaintance. f you dress like you do because you want to, then that confidence should be enough to stop any not too close friend from prying more than necessary in your business. if society can accept a teacher with pink hair because they know her abilities, then there's no reason not to accept some one else's "weird hobbies" (as they might take it as) as long as they're capable when it matters

if that made any sense at all
Title: Re: What do you say?
Post by: Snowpaw on September 29, 2012, 01:10:11 PM
I would just say hiya and move on. I figure it wouldn't matter.
Title: Re: What do you say?
Post by: Stephe on September 29, 2012, 01:52:16 PM
Quote from: JulieC. on September 29, 2012, 12:02:52 PM
If they asked why I was dressed that way, I think I would just say it's a long story and some day I'll tell you all about it.

This ^ except I would just say "It's a long story..." and smile. Most of my old acquaintances had no idea who I was, even at a social gathering. Old close friends you run into will recognize you.

All I told people went I went full time was "I have felt this way since I was a child and finally did something about it". That seemed to appease most people's curiosity. The only other question a few people would ask is "Do you plan to have surgery?" to which I respond "How do you know I haven't already?" and smile. It's none of their business IMHO
Title: Re: What do you say?
Post by: JoanneB on September 29, 2012, 02:21:21 PM
Makes me glad the real me is the polar opposite in looks. Otherwise I'd probably faint.
Title: Re: What do you say?
Post by: Beth Andrea on September 29, 2012, 02:55:15 PM
I never went out fully en femme before I was FT, but I did get strange looks and questions from co-workers about my nails (often pinks and purples), and dangly earrings...

Typically, they'd ask "Why are you wearing nail polish/earrings?"

My answer was always, "I think it's pretty, and I like it. Why should girls have all the fun?"

Needless to say, not many were surprised when I came out LOL.

^-^
Title: Re: What do you say?
Post by: Lucky Peach on September 29, 2012, 04:17:01 PM
This has actually happened to me several times earlier on. Funny enough I was the one who did the approaching rather than just passing by.

I didn't say anything though. Didn't really have to as it was apparent. I just let them steer the conversation after I idiotically outed myself. There were stunned looks, usually followed by a ton of questions but I never had a bad experience per se. The first time I did it was definitely the most awkward, but you learn how to handle the situation. It's bound to happen as you are just getting into things and there are people who you'll forget to tell after you're out, which was my case.

Just be you and be confident in that fact. If you're those two things, and are kind about things, I've found that people are very accepting.
Title: Re: What do you say?
Post by: Rena-san on September 29, 2012, 06:55:02 PM
Yeah, for some reason, this happens to me like at least once a day, not kidding. I just say hi and treat them as I always would. They usually don't say anything. Sometimes they question it. Sometimes they will use my old name, and I just politley tell them my new name by saying like, "and yeah, I'm trying to get my name changed to Julia now." Thats all, so far so good.
Title: Re: What do you say?
Post by: CosmicJoke on October 20, 2012, 06:33:48 PM
I think for the most part it's none of their business unless you want to reestablish your relationship with them. I've had people that just are intimidated by the situation, people who are confused, people who just say hi and I say hi back. The most important thing I learned is to not take this stuff so seriously. People are people, they're not gonna kill you. Laugh it off.