well, lately i have been having thoughts of suicide. Because i'm thinking maybe when i'm born again i will be born in a male body this time. I mean, it gives me so many excited feelings to know that maybe *just* maybe i will be born as a male. I look at myself in the mirror, there are things i cant get rid of and things i cant add. It makes me so depressed to know that i know i'm a guy, but biologically i'm not and thats what cisgendered people care about. There are some people of course that dont think that way, but i cant help feeling that they just think i'm a girl pretending to be a guy. and thats what i hear most from people. I know the guys and ladies on here dont think that, but outside of this forum people do. I dont want a vagina, i dont want boobs. I want a penis, flat chest and deep voice. There are only so many things testosterone will give me, but like all the other guys on here i want it naturally. I realize suicide isnt the answer but, my spirituality gives me hope that maybe at the end of this life, my new one will be better. knowing my luck i will be born as a man, but want to be a woman lol lifes funny that way. I'm not going to kill myself but, i keep thinking it. Its kinda depressing i have to wait maybe another 60 years before i may get my shot lol i know this is a depressing post, but is there *anyone* out there thats sorta thinking the same thing??
Dont get me wrong, I sort of understand the nature of this thread but it might sort of incite suicidal thought.
Even if I could be reborn who knows what kind of life I would have. It would be ironic if I become an FtM~ I am happy being thee person I am today O-o even with all the problems.
in 60 years I am sure FtM bottom surgery will be extremely advanced if not 90% the real thing. Actually before 60 years but ya know... I think the future of all SRS is making the real thing, or perhaps puberty starting over again O-o like some sci-fi movie.
But as we live now gotta do our best to make due with the lemons life threw at us. By your theory never know if what you do in this life will have a remote chance of affecting your next ;D
it is my belief too and its dangerous at least to me i do believe you recycle and when I'm at my lowest i find myself trying to rationalize that suicide this last go around i got really close i walked in front of an SUV luckily for me on that Friday night the driver was sober and fast with the break pedal sure i got cussed out but i didn't care so as bad as it feels don't entertain that thought at all or may catch you when your at your weakest and that would be a tragedy
jessi
Suicide for the purpose of reincarnation is a bad idea simply because there is no telling what your next life is going to be.
what if your next life is worse than your current life?
Suicide is not the answer. Be you and live your life
I decided a while back that my best revenge on the people who messed me up in my childhood was to live well - and hand on a really good torch to whoever comes next.
I DO believe in reincarnation but f*** no I wouldn't kill myself for a 'chance'.
First off, at least 25% of babies are miscarried or aborted as a cluster of cells even before the mother knows she is pregnant. I am sure that is higher in areas with poor nutrition, health, and medical care. So you'd probably get a few years minimum eithr as animals, bugs, or aborted fetus.
Then supposing you're born, it's very likely you'd be one of the hundreds of thousands of babies that die before 10. Supposing you get to be reborn to very lucky parents or in a developed country, you could be disabled, mentally handicapped, even paralyzed. Or worse: one of the male intersex babies reassigned female by lazy and meddling doctors, which is almost worse: knowing it wasn't a mistale of biology but another person who played god and took your manhood from you.
Then there are many other scenarios. Personally, I am a better man than a lot of cisgender males. Believe it or not, there are some of them I would rather be but plenty with bigger issues that I would rather not be. I am plenty happy to surgically alter my body but some things cannot be altered. I am happier with a small tool than with some of the things other people have going for them
On suicide: There are times I think about it, but it's more for the futility of my future than any hope of being reincarnated (as anything).
On reincarnation: There are several variants of this belief, some saying if you're male, you'll always be female, if you're female, you'll always be female. (So presumably, if you're trans, you'll always be trans...)
There are some beliefs that you may come back as something other than human...a bug, a tree, a space-alien...
I think there is a soul-level that is "above" our own, and its purpose in having us live here is so it can experience life on this plane...one aspect of life is suicide--both as the doer, and as the survivor (of both your own "demons", and those of others who have suicided). Countless variations, as male, female, in the future, in the past, at the same time...there is no guarantee that you'll come back in the form you want, because it is not "your" choice how you come back.
On not doing it because of all the "what-if's" brought up: Far more babies have good, healthy lives than those who don't (I have to believe this). Yes, there are tragedies...but they are not what one should base major life decisions on.
imho
Please take care (and don't be stepping in front of trucks anymore, Jesse...that's a good way to get crippled, not dead)...
*hugs*
Read Dante's Inferno sometime.
In his imagination, Suicides were classed with "Squanderers", i.e. People who waste what was given them. If you assume that there is a controlling force that determines your next incarnation, you just might be given less because you wasted what was given to you.... a human life.
That said, I'm tried to implant the thought in whatever part of myself that is eternal that as I come to consciousness as a reincarnated newborn, I'll check my genitals. If they are not as I want them I plan to smother myself and become a crib death.
Roll the dice again.
I've speculated that with transsexuals we might have been the opposite sex in a past life, and somehow treated the other sex badly, and are reincarnated in such a way as to learn a lesson.
I'm male assigned at birth, and don't like it one bit. I may have been female in a past life and somehow abused that gift. Could it be that I now have to learn what it is like to be male? To walk a few miles in a man's shoes? I feel that I was once female and am being punished by being given a male body.
Bizarre thoughts, but many people just feel this way. After all the christian bible says: "You must be born again!" What if they meant that literally?
I agree Randi, I have read Dantes Inferno and i know where i'd be if i went to hell lol and i was curious what others thought on the matter, im not going to kill myself. Just sometimes it seems like a decent idea. I might come back as a slug for i know, or maybe i wont come back at all lol i just sorta wondered if any others thought about it too lol
I do believe in reincarnation, but it is more along the lines of the Hindu version.
You have lessons to learn this go round. If you don't learn them, you will repeat a similar life next time. Suicide can just lock you into reliving this one over and over.
Like a Cosmic "Groundhog Day".
As far as life and afterlife and the mysteries of the Universe are concerned, I tend to wonder, more than believe. There are so many possibilities, that I feel it would be limiting, ill-advised and possibly dangerous to settle on one definite conviction about what comes after death. To contemplate killing myself on the off-chance that the universe might operate a certain way seems to me unthinkable. When I came out to one of my colleagues, he said to me, 'Haven't you ever thought about just making the best of what you've got?' He meant, of course, trying to be happy in my female body. In actuality, by transitioning, I think I *am* making the best of what I've got. I'm doing the best I can, with what I've been born with, to have a fulfilling life. Just because that involves a name change and hormone treatment and surgery doesn't mean that I'm being churlish about what I was given originally - I'm just using what I was given to 'make the best of things.' If, as is entirely possible, our consciousness does carry on and come back in another life, in another form, then that's no reason, as I see it, not to give this 'go round' a damned good go. Things aren't going to be perfect in any existence. People are either poor, or chronically ill, or born into the wrong bodies, or clinically depressed, or bereaved, or physically disabled, or any number of difficult things. At the same time, there are elements of fortune that make life worth living. There are people you fall madly and mutually in love with, and art, and music, and humous, and Golden Retrievers, and friendship, and kitchenware, and literature, and Family Guy, and Hugh Laurie, and Fedora hats. I'm unlucky that I was born into a woman's body, when I have a man's brain. I'm lucky that I was born into a loving and understanding family. I'm unlucky that I was born with severe Obsessive Compulsive Disorder and ended up in a mental hospital. I'm lucky that I had the strength and support to overcome it. I'm unlucky that I have very little money. I'm lucky that I'm not destitute and homeless. There's going to be a mixture of good and bad, difficult and wonderful, devastating and uplifting in any chimney you're dropped down. I don't feel able or willing to end this life on the off-chance that I might find a better one. As you'd probably guess, lol, I'd also take the first offer on Deal or No Deal :D
Plus, there's also the possibility that I might come back as Noel Edmunds. That, alone, rules out killing myself on the off-chance of reincarnation ;)
Quote from: Randi on September 29, 2012, 02:47:41 PM
I've speculated that with transsexuals we might have been the opposite sex in a past life, and somehow treated the other sex badly, and are reincarnated in such a way as to learn a lesson.
I'm male assigned at birth, and don't like it one bit. I may have been female in a past life and somehow abused that gift. Could it be that I now have to learn what it is like to be male. To walk a few miles in a man's shoes? I feel that I was once female and am being punished by being given a male body.
Bizarre thoughts, but many people just feel this way. After all the christian bible says: "You must be born again!" What if they meant that literally?
Oh, my goodness! For some reason, that thought really disturbs me. I was freaked out big-time by the Divine Comedy, too, lol (though I love it). I know I've just said that I don't *believe* anything, lol, but I'd like to think we're not here as some kind of penance for a sin in a former life! And that the punishment would fit the crime, too - that would just be too cruel! I think that's what convinces me that that *wouldn't* be possible - it's just too poetic, lol. And real life is far messier ;) I must admit, though, that I have wondered (prompted by my Mum, who's very into Buddhism), whether I might've been a man in a previous life, and that's carried over into this one, although I have a female body. Although that's only really a passing thought - another part of my mind tells me I simply have a medical condition. Still, you never know.
And Jared, I really do hope you're alright. If you're ever feeling suicidal, please take comfort in knowing you have people who care about your wellbeing here, and do reach out to someone you know in the flesh, too, if that's possible. I hope you don't think I'm daft for saying this, lol! I know you've said you're not actually considering killing yourself, which is relieving, and just spectacular!
I believe that when I die, my ashes will be spread under a big old oak tree and I'll become part of that oak tree. If there is an afterlife, then I'll be pleasantly surprised. But here's what I think about what we've been taught to believe:
Expectation for a life to come is a way we've been controlled for centuries. It has been used as a way to make life bearable for the serfs, slaves, and underpaid worker bees. That's not such an issue in this day and age, but the natural need or want of an afterlife can lessen the value of the life that we have right now. We shouldn't let that happen. Life is precious. We can't waste it.
I'm not exactly down with this as a topic. But I would warn you that according to certain forms of Buddhism, there is absolutely nothing whatsoever wrong with being trans. In fact, under some form of Buddhism you can will at some point be born as a woman, and a man, and as trans. (they have a different word for it). So this is your turn. I don't know that you get to choose your gender under any world view. Since the hormones after conception are likely involved you weren't actually born in the wrong body, you were born with a brain that doesn't match your body. Is this semantics, maybe but might have something to do with what you are born as.
At a certain time in your life, *thinking* about suicide is somewhat normal. Sadly, something like 40% of trans people commit suicide. If you are really feeling suicidal you need to talk with someone who would understand you.
--Jay J
Here at another thread, I also mentioned my past lives: https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,22314.msg170939.html#msg170939 (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,22314.msg170939.html#msg170939)
And Ian Stevenson:
http://www.clearwisdom.net/emh/articles/2002/11/18/28847.html (http://www.clearwisdom.net/emh/articles/2002/11/18/28847.html)
"Moreover, the author also pointed out the four unique characteristics of children who can remember their previous lives and the special phenomena that frequently accompany the birthmark and congenital defects. Some phenomena are regarded as common sense by reincarnation researchers, yet are regarded as unsolvable mysteries by modern scientists. These include phobias, strange habits, transsexual inclination, irrational loves or hates, as well as a child's unique behavior during play. "
http://www.harbornet.com/folks/theedrich/hive/Reincarn.htm (http://www.harbornet.com/folks/theedrich/hive/Reincarn.htm)
Barbie~~
I belive in reincarnation because as many other things something start begin and end, and then recycle even when it takes a long time, I think it would be wierd if we just born once and then we are "death forever.." dosent make sense to me.
--
I have thought of suicide for the chance, and have also tried it.
Suicide is in general to escape life hope your next will be better or you will get peace, ALOT of transfolks have tried it or considered and its understandable cause the world isnt really build for us, in most sociatys we are opressed or not accepted so sure our life is a strugle and hard time, but being in a life or death situation is also frightning, becase its really a big risk and theres no prof that our next life will get better. I didnt kill myself because when I die I wanted to die and have people reminding me of me, with the right name and everything which made me move forward to give a try.
when that is said
I belive being trans can be very good compared to so much.
everyone has trouble in life, but you have to learn how to deal with them and play your card right.
yes I have alot of times where I think "why wasnt I just cisgender" but I have also had alot of good experience I wouldnt had got if I wasnt.
people naive I could say my life became "interesting" because im trans, somethimes alittle too much.
Quote from: Ms. OBrien on September 29, 2012, 04:17:26 PM
I do believe in reincarnation, but it is more along the lines of the Hindu version.
You have lessons to learn this go round. If you don't learn them, you will repeat a similar life next time. Suicide can just lock you into reliving this one over and over.
Like a Cosmic "Groundhog Day".
This is pretty much my view on reincarnation. I think each life is to teach you a lesson even if that lesson isn't pleasant to learn and if you don't learn those lessons then you repeat a similar life until you do learn that lesson.
Sometimes I have thought that maybe I'll be born male in a next life and suicide might be a short cut, but then I think that I'm here in this life for a reason and I'm going to learn what I need to be taught. [I also look at all of the wonderful things in my life.]
Quote from: Mishamigo_Jared on September 29, 2012, 01:56:54 AM
well, lately i have been having thoughts of suicide. Because i'm thinking maybe when i'm born again i will be born in a male body this time. I mean, it gives me so many excited feelings to know that maybe *just* maybe i will be born as a male. I look at myself in the mirror, there are things i cant get rid of and things i cant add. It makes me so depressed to know that i know i'm a guy, but biologically i'm not and thats what cisgendered people care about. There are some people of course that dont think that way, but i cant help feeling that they just think i'm a girl pretending to be a guy. and thats what i hear most from people. I know the guys and ladies on here dont think that, but outside of this forum people do. I dont want a vagina, i dont want boobs. I want a penis, flat chest and deep voice. There are only so many things testosterone will give me, but like all the other guys on here i want it naturally. I realize suicide isnt the answer but, my spirituality gives me hope that maybe at the end of this life, my new one will be better. knowing my luck i will be born as a man, but want to be a woman lol lifes funny that way. I'm not going to kill myself but, i keep thinking it. Its kinda depressing i have to wait maybe another 60 years before i may get my shot lol i know this is a depressing post, but is there *anyone* out there thats sorta thinking the same thing??
you would end up being a MTF who couldn't transition due to large hands and going bald
muhhha hha karma
Quote from: Randi on September 29, 2012, 02:47:41 PM
Read Dante's Inferno sometime.
In his imagination, Suicides were classed with "Squanderers", i.e. People who waste what was given them. If you assume that there is a controlling force that determines your next incarnation, you just might be given less because you wasted what was given to you.... a human life.
That said, I'm tried to implant the thought in whatever part of myself that is eternal that as I come to consciousness as a reincarnated newborn, I'll check my genitals. If they are not as I want them I plan to smother myself and become a crib death.
Roll the dice again.
I've speculated that with transsexuals we might have been the opposite sex in a past life, and somehow treated the other sex badly, and are reincarnated in such a way as to learn a lesson.
I'm male assigned at birth, and don't like it one bit. I may have been female in a past life and somehow abused that gift. Could it be that I now have to learn what it is like to be male? To walk a few miles in a man's shoes? I feel that I was once female and am being punished by being given a male body.
Bizarre thoughts, but many people just feel this way. After all the christian bible says: "You must be born again!" What if they meant that literally?
Hmm! i like how you think!
Perhaps I was someone who abused women in a past life? That sounds pretty bad!
But also i thought once that perhaps I wouldve been born a male but wouldve had a sex-linked disease that wouldve made me die early or something, so instead of that, i was born a female.
But what a tradeoff, would you rather live fast and die young as the proper sex or live a long time born as the wrong sex? Hmmm...