Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Community Conversation => Transgender talk => Topic started by: Diane Elizabeth on September 30, 2012, 10:31:32 PM

Title: Upset with myself
Post by: Diane Elizabeth on September 30, 2012, 10:31:32 PM
          Once again my emotions are getting to me.  My mother (despite her acceptance) keeps refering to me by my ex-name and my sisters use the male pronouns in refering to me.  Makes me wonder if they really do accept me or not.  I was near tears over it and couldn't bring myself to saying anything about it.  Then I have once again failed at being able to change my earrings.  I feel like a bull in a china shop.  Can't get anything right.
Title: Re: Upset with myself
Post by: Elsa on September 30, 2012, 10:42:42 PM
hon, am sorry things aren't going well for you.

hang in there am sure things will get better besides am sure there are a lot of cis women out there who have a nightmare getting things like putting earrings on.

things like these come with practise and although they seem to do well in certain areas thats only because they spent their entire life as that.

maybe your family is having issues using the new pronouns - try talking to them its better than keeping things bottled up

♥hugs♥
Alexia.
Title: Re: Upset with myself
Post by: jesse on October 01, 2012, 12:42:09 AM
the family if they truly accept you will come along as you progress give them time and dont get hung up on the pronouns for now as far as earings and things think of young girls thats were you are now they ran to thier mothers and friends for help do the same girls arnt born with the know how to do makeup pick the right cloths put in earings its taught and so you will learn as well their is no way to avoid your second puberty except to live it and enjoy being you
hugs i hope you feel better soon
jessi
Title: Re: Upset with myself
Post by: Cindy on October 01, 2012, 02:01:07 AM
Take your time honey,

They knew you as a 'guy' and it takes time for them to change. I take it you are changing ear rings for pierced ears?

That also takes time. If you are doing this in the bathroom, remember to put the plug in the sink, otherwise when you drop an ear ring it escapes down the plug hole, happens to me and very annoying.

My method is to put the front piece in first and hold it in place with my left hand. Then find by feel the rear of the ring and try to make sure it is straight and not pointed up or down, then pick the backer in the right hand thumb and forefinger, find the ear ring and place the backer on, don't force it, gently push.

I also wear lots of hoops etc that don't need backers, they clip into a holder on the ear ring and can be easier to use.

Also - ask your sisters to help - nothing like a bit of female bonding to get the pronouns correct, also a good excuse to check make up skills. 'How do get the eyeliner to look good and not lumpy?'

Hugs

Cindy
Title: Re: Upset with myself
Post by: Diane Elizabeth on October 01, 2012, 11:01:32 AM

        Thanks for all the responses.  I know I need to give them more time as well as myself.  Its just me.  Frustration and everything else that nothing seems to go right.  I just couldn't bring myself to speak up to my family.   I always have had trouble speaking up for myself or to ask for help- construed as a sign of weakness- when everyone else has succeeded at the same task in question.  Whether its earrings or just being able to hit a nail with a hammer straight.  Its just me.