Ok, so I transitioned over 4.5 years ago and have had lower surgery etc. I also came out at work and still work at the same company. At work, there are only single bathrooms, so the work/restroom thing was never an issue.
Anyway, there was a meeting out of work that a bunch of people attended. By the end, I really needed to use the restroom before driving home, but I was not wanting to share the restroom with any coworkers, and defintely wanted to use a urinal and not a stall, esp if I encountered one of them in there. I was really hoping it would be empty.
Anyway, as luck would have it, only one guy left ahead of me. I duck into the restroom and think, awesome, it's empty. But as I head farther in, I see my coworker at the first urinal. Gulp. So I go to the opposite end, unzip, and do my thing. I have no idea if he saw me or not. I told nobody at work that I had that particular surgery, though they know I was out for 8 weeks 2 summers ago.
It was just...awkward. He was gone by the time I was done, and like I said I just stared at the wall and don't know if he even noticed me.
I just had to share that first with people who understand, LOL. Peeing at a urinal at the same time as a coworker who knew me 'before.'
Jay
Jay,
It likely felt strange bc it was the first time. Maybe your co worker noticed, maybe not but you likely thought about it more than he did. Now you can look forward to having that particular first be over. Sounds like things are good overall. That is awesome.
I really hate being in the restroom with my coworkers who knew me before. I'm not sure why, it's just weird for me. I definitely understand.
I'm able to pee at a urinal and I haven't even had lower surgery yet.
As others have said, you're likely thinking far too much into the situation - probably more than your coworker would ever think to.
Great report sneakersjay, must feel so great to be able to use an urinal like any other guy. Your surgery must have been very successful. I would like to be able to do the same. Guys pay so little attention to who is in the restroom with them and if they do see say very little usually. I am still getting use to peeing standing and still need to master using a STP.
Quote from: sneakersjay on October 03, 2012, 08:56:48 PM
OK, so I transitioned over 4.5 years ago and have had lower surgery etc. I also came out at work and still work at the same company. At work, there are only single bathrooms, so the work/restroom thing was never an issue.
Anyway, there was a meeting out of work that a bunch of people attended. By the end, I really needed to use the restroom before driving home, but I was not wanting to share the restroom with any coworkers, and defintely wanted to use a urinal and not a stall, esp if I encountered one of them in there. I was really hoping it would be empty.
Anyway, as luck would have it, only one guy left ahead of me. I duck into the restroom and think, awesome, it's empty. But as I head farther in, I see my coworker at the first urinal. Gulp. So I go to the opposite end, unzip, and do my thing. I have no idea if he saw me or not. I told nobody at work that I had that particular surgery, though they know I was out for 8 weeks 2 summers ago.
It was just...awkward. He was gone by the time I was done, and like I said I just stared at the wall and don't know if he even noticed me.
I just had to share that first with people who understand, LOL. Peeing at a urinal at the same time as a coworker who knew me 'before.'
Jay
Hey Sneakers,
I hope you don't mind some observations from a MTF. I have 41 years of experience as a "strait guy"(No offense to Gay dudes) in this arena. :P
OK... First thing to remember, is that there is a whole different set of rules in Men's Rooms verses Ladies rooms. So.. when using a public rest room keep these things in mind!
1. Most, if not all guys will look strait ahead when peeing. Its kinda like saying(I'm a strait dude, and I'm not a "problem". Some guys will even push their "junk" as far in the urinal as possible(Even nasty ones), to "show" they don't want the guy next door looking AKA, I'm strait. Many guys will not talk while in the Men's room unless there is a group. When a group is present it usually gets all "guyish talk"! We're talking stuff like......
A. Did you see that blond at the end of the bar?
Or.. something sports related. The game sucks/Is great. Their team is winning/losing and why they are happy/pissed. Sports talk is always a safe conversation!
B. Dam... there is some serious "Talent" here tonight! Or this place is a "sausage factory"(Mostly dudes). Keep in mind that guys are crude and you will here the crudest of crude at the "urinal"! S&#!@, you might even here about a crime or two depending on the location! ::)
C. Some sob story about his relationship with the girl he's dating or the crime he was "framed" for(Location dependent).
D. Keep in mind this is a indication of where you are, or who "he" is. Some losers will just start talking. Anything from My girl just dumped me, to I got a OUI last week and need a ride to the next club! ::)
Just keep it simple, until you get a "feel" for the public rest rooms. Look strait ahead, up, or down into the urinal. Us language like "the pisser" verses the urinal/toilet. If you happen to talk with someone in the restroom, keep it to girls, sports, or work related!
If you have some coworker who might suspect(?), turn it around on him! If he says something to coworkers about what he "may" have seen.... Just answer with.. Dude, why are you looking at my "Insert guy language for "package"". That's weird that (Bob) is so interested in my "Johnson"? Turning it around will make him look like the "weird guy"(Unless he has pics)!
Ohh..... And be carefull not to use female terms for various topics! Guys are(Even the classy "good" guys) crude at times. They have to be, to compete wit the "Sh&^ Heads! You don't have to talk like a "World class loser", but don't be using terms like breasts, vaginas(Vag), ect. Use tits, ass, pussy. Yeah, its degrading and rude, but thats the way guys talk. Especially in a rest room. At work/work event you may "tone it down", but still don't use "girl/gay guy" terms for stuff!
I hope this helps! >:-) And if you have any other questions on the specifics, so to speak, feel free to post or IM me! :)
Quote from: mm on October 04, 2012, 10:14:04 AM
Great report sneakersjay, must feel so great to be able to use an urinal like any other guy. Your surgery must have been very successful. I would like to be able to do the same. Guys pay so little attention to who is in the restroom with them and if they do see say very little usually. I am still getting use to peeing standing and still need to master using a STP.
mm.....
Just an FWI, guys do notice who's in the rest room with them. Very much so. Think about it... When 99.9 % of male mammals are any where near each other its a "contest! "Think of where "pissing contest" comes from? When your in a men's room, think of a a bunch of male dogs pissing on the tree in front of the house where a "Bitch" lives! Don't be fooled. Even guys who couldn't explain emotion(As women feel/think of it) to save their lives are still observant enough in "GUY" stuff to notice!
:)
Rule 1 about the mens room, don't look at the other persons junk.
Unwritten rule, never use the urinal next to the other guy. Trust me he saw nothing.
No guy likes to break the unwritten rule, if you notice in a mens room people usually use a stall at least 1 stall away from the other person. Sometimes even when its full.
Second the stalls look open but they are really hidden, I have never actually seen a guys "stuff" while he was using it. And no one should notice yours to. Even stall to stall its not easy.
Quote from: Rita on October 04, 2012, 10:51:57 AM
Rule 1 about the mens room, don't look at the other persons junk.
Unwritten rule, never use the urinal next to the other guy. Trust me he saw nothing.
No guy likes to break the unwritten rule, if you notice in a mens room people usually use a stall at least 1 stall away from the other person. Sometimes even when its full.
Second the stalls look open but they are really hidden, I have never actually seen a guys "stuff" while he was using it. And no one should notice yours to. Even stall to stall its not easy.
+1000
Not sure why there would need to be discussion of restroom etiquette or guy speak here. He's 4.5 years into this.
Anyway, Jay I can relate to awkwardness when in the restroom with guys who knew me before transition.
It must take awhile to get comfortable with that, like many things.
I just remind myself, "Self, where else would you take a leak?"
Am thinking it would be a worse kind of awkward to accidentally wander into the ladies room.
To try and calm down his nerves =P? I mean after all I was using the mens urinal for a good 26 years so as much as I would not like to know, I do know a thing or two about how people look around in it.
Most of our fears can be negated with the comfort of reassurance. ^.^
I have bathroom dysphoria as well, but for different reasons of course.
Prior to surgery I used the urinal also with my STP. I mostly sit, now, but I definitely did not want to'sit' in a stall with a coworker who knew me before, LOL. Yes, i was definitely overthinking it and maybe people don't even think of me as I was before any more. Who knows.
And thanks, ladies, for your input. I wasn't worried about him looking at my junk, but more noticing that I was using a urinal, and remembering that I used to be F. And I def took the urinal farthest from him, well, second from the farthest because the last one was very low for kids, LOL.
Jay
Quote from: Rita on October 04, 2012, 10:51:57 AM
Rule 1 about the mens room, don't look at the other persons junk.
Unwritten rule, never use the urinal next to the other guy. Trust me he saw nothing.
No guy likes to break the unwritten rule, if you notice in a mens room people usually use a stall at least 1 stall away from the other person. Sometimes even when its full.
Second the stalls look open but they are really hidden, I have never actually seen a guys "stuff" while he was using it. And no one should notice yours to. Even stall to stall its not easy.
Rule 1b: Never suddenly shout out, "Oh my god, that thing's a monster!"
OK so your co-worker knew you before, you had female parts, he knows your a man on the outside as well as the inside. Belive it or not most people have know clue as to what's what. When I transitioned some if not most of my guy friends asked "what's it like" me: "like what?" the guys: "not having your dick anymore" me: "OH that well no biggy" and a wink, so to them and there limited understanding One day I was guy with all my guy parts the next a chick with all the chick parts, I would add non asked to see...... so your apprehension is yours I'm affraid just follow the rules given here and live....
Quote from: Jamie D on October 05, 2012, 11:21:11 AM
Rule 1b: Never suddenly shout out, "Oh my god, that thing's a monster!"
1c: If it is a monster don't try to slay it with a sword :icon_pistoles: guns are safer
Quote from: Psyke on October 03, 2012, 11:58:27 PM
I really hate being in the restroom with my coworkers who knew me before. I'm not sure why, it's just weird for me. I definitely understand.
I could see why that would be awkward. :o :o :o
thats like going to the bathroom at the same time as one of my guy friends it was weird and very awkward, because he knew me before. also i pissed in a bush while really drunk in front of a guy from my school. but that was a lot less awkward because he didn't know me before.
I know how it feels, awkward not happen to me but i wonder if it goes away?
Of course you do x3, one day you won't even think twice about it.
I mean the constant repition alone...
FWIW I find I don't mind with mates - rarely end up in the bathroom in a pack as a bloke anyways. I am also hesitant with coworkers - but I'm slowly getting over that.. The thing that makes me most anxious is the first time I end in the bathroom and my father, brother or another male relative comes in...I do not look forward to that day!
im pre-op, and i LOVE stepping up to the plate so to speak ;)
If there was any doubt about my masculinity, me peeing upright definitely removes the most of it for sure.
Quote from: sneakersjay on October 03, 2012, 08:56:48 PM
[...]
Anyway, as luck would have it, only one guy left ahead of me. I duck into the restroom and think, awesome, it's empty. But as I head farther in, I see my coworker at the first urinal. Gulp. So I go to the opposite end, unzip, and do my thing. I have no idea if he saw me or not. I told nobody at work that I had that particular surgery, though they know I was out for 8 weeks 2 summers ago.
It was just...awkward. He was gone by the time I was done, and like I said I just stared at the wall and don't know if he even noticed me.
I just had to share that first with people who understand, LOL. Peeing at a urinal at the same time as a coworker who knew me 'before.'
Jay
I often get the impression that people who aren't too informed on trans issues just take for granted that people who have transitioned have had "this and that" done.
As for me, I'm a sitter, and quite happy to keep it that way. XD Luckily just about all men's rooms around here have closed stalls.
I can see that this would feel weird.
I recently had an experience that was weird for almost the opposite reason. I transitioned at a university while I was teaching there part time. I've taught there a couple of terms a year since my transition, and every guy who knew me from before treated me great, as if it were only natural that I'd use the men's room. That was strange at first, but not very. I got used to it. I like it.
Then, this week, I encountered a colleague who most definitely knew me from before. We used to talk now and then, but I haven't run into him in a couple of years because we are always on different schedules. He came into the restroom as I was coming out of the stall, and he didn't even recognize me. Nothing, nada, zip. I wanted to say hi, how are ya, etc., as I do with the other guys. But I didn't want him to suddenly recognize me and think about my past, so I washed my hands in silence.
So my weirdest restroom experience (as a guy) has been when somebody who knew me didn't recognize me and didn't question me.
That has happened to me, Arch, though not in a restroom. i have run into people i knew before, and they didn't recognize me. Most times I don't say anything esp, if they were not very important (bank tellers, people at organizations I had dealings with prior, etc._ I just reintroduce myself as Jay, like I've never met them before, and go from there.
jay
The restroom dynamic definitely changed things for me. If I'd seen him in the hall, I would have talked to him, if only to admire his sense of style. The guy looks hot in a vest. (He's straight and married with a couple of kids, but I like to dream.)
Pee With Seth Rogen - Night of Too Many Stars 2012 (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9X9ynlnIOgo#)
Hahaha that was awesome. ;D
off topic: I looked at the doctor's avatar for a while. I thought it looked like the doctor. Then I read the profile name... HOW can I be so stupid?!