im dyin, guys. i got a therapist, at least the one at school...but i dont like therapists. i have few friends but nobody close. i dont like close friends. i got my gf but some things she jus cant help with, you kno...
dysphoria is killing me, its been soo bad lately. depression is killing me. im a good student generally but im failing classes with only a few months left in the semester. the only thing gettin me thru the days is rap music and knowin i love her more than anythin.
im jus at a loss. i shouldnt be failin. i jus cant do the work. i dont wanna be doin it. i get less than five hours a week at work bc the ppl hate me bc im trans and im desperately tryna find a new job and gettin no calls. got bills to pay and cant pay em at all with thirty bucks a week. can barely get gas to drive anywhere. my car is effin duct taped together...seriously
sorry this is a pity post and its not even the half of it, jus needed to say some of it, i guess. i lost my best friend at the beginnin of this year and its killin me, not lost like dead, but actually lost as in hes no longer my friend nor will he ever be...only long term friend i ever had really
yea whatever sorry dudes dont gotta read or reply if you dont want to, jus needed somewhere to write this and not tumblr
we all need to vent somethimes,
im sorry about all the sh*t your dealing with, I also had lost a friend here some mounth ago and is about to lose one more so, not to mention we had some illness and famely issue in the famely so its all been kinda downroad for a time.
BUT, what dosent kill us makes us stronger, pathetic but you know we all having this trouble time where everything goes bad and if we keep fighting and trying to focus on things getting better it usunally will.
keep focusing, and figting to get there,
Quote from: Brayden on October 08, 2012, 04:47:28 PM
im dyin, guys. i got a therapist, at least the one at school...but i dont like therapists. i have few friends but nobody close. i dont like close friends. i got my gf but some things she jus cant help with, you kno...
dude i totally get you about this, i have the same problem all my close friends graduated and left.r now i have friends but i dont trust them so much and i cant tell them this stuff even if i did. i cant really relate with the job and money problems. i get you with the loneliness and not being able to talk to people about trans stuff and your depression.
I understand and sympathize. I hope you get over it soon.
Cindi
:'(I'm sorry you're going through such a rough patch; there's nothing wrong with venting, venting is a good thing so it doesn't build up!