The fact that I'll never be pregnant and/or nurse a child is finally starting to bother me.
It's weird because I have 2 adult kids and have no desire to start over. But at the same time, I see a pregnant woman and feel a pang of sadness.
It does suck but at least you can be the woman you want to be.
Look into the University of Whashington. There is a program that started a few years ago that has the potential to help women like us.
Quote from: Connie Anne on October 09, 2012, 04:13:05 PM
The fact that I'll never be pregnant and/or nurse a child is finally starting to bother me.
It's weird because I have 2 adult kids and have no desire to start over. But at the same time, I see a pregnant woman and feel a pang of sadness.
I hear you sister. I find myself praying to be able to accept that. Along with million of cis FAABs with reproductive problems.
Quote from: alice89 on October 09, 2012, 04:17:30 PM
It does suck but at least you can be the woman you want to be.
Yeah, I just have to keep reminding myself that. It's not like I burst into tears when I see a pregnant or nursing woman. It's just a somewhat sad moment reminding me of what I won't be able to experience.
But, I don't regret being a father and I wouldn't trade my kids for anything.
Quote from: Brooke777 on October 09, 2012, 04:19:34 PM
Look into the University of Whashington. There is a program that started a few years ago that has the potential to help women like us.
I'm 43 years old at this point and pre-op. I think I'll skip this. I feel like I'm too old to be starting over even though I know there are folks who start families at my age.
This is great info, though, for those who are younger than me and/or do want to proceed in such a way.
Quote from: agfrommd on October 09, 2012, 04:20:47 PM
I hear you sister. I find myself praying to be able to accept that. Along with million of cis FAABs with reproductive problems.
Good point. I hadn't thought of such persons.
I feel ya chicka. It's easy to get the feeling whenever cis women start talking about their kids, or child birth, or what they go thru during pregnancy.
Wow, I had thought it was just me...
A few weeks ago, I had an "experience" while lying in bed, doing my nightly massaging...I suddenly realized that a woman mother creates, holds, and nurtures her child inside her body. Her very blood is given to the child, to strengthen and protect him/her...until the babe is born.
Then, while her arms hold the babe and keep it warm, her breasts provide nourishment--again, directly from her blood. The same blood that runs in her veins, tending all of her body's needs.
Without a uterus, I will never feel that babe inside. (And at my age, I don't want to start over with a newborn!) But, I could, in theory, provide suckle to a babe...and the sense of my body providing direct nourishment to a tiny, helpless child gave me a moment's insight to the joy and wonder that a mother has for her child.
This insight--at a very personal, intimate level--is something that I, as a man, could logically understand...but only now could I feel that level of joy that every mother does, even if it was for just a moment.
:-\
:'(
It's small comfort, but at least we can finally give birth to ourselves.
It makes me a little sad too that I can't be a mother, but I can be motherly in the best senses of the word (and in fact, always have been), and express it that way instead.
Its not that I want a baby right now or anytime soon, but its true, if I could mother a child naturally I would be really Happy ^.^ I have cried over this before whenI went through my bouts of I will never be 100%
Quote from: Beth Andrea on October 10, 2012, 07:12:55 PM
a woman mother creates, holds, and nurtures her child inside her body. Her very blood is given to the child, to strengthen and protect him/her...until the babe is born.
Then, while her arms hold the babe and keep it warm, her breasts provide nourishment--again, directly from her blood. The same blood that runs in her veins, tending all of her body's needs.
Without a uterus, I will never feel that babe inside. (And at my age, I don't want to start over with a newborn!) But, I could, in theory, provide suckle to a babe...and the sense of my body providing direct nourishment to a tiny, helpless child gave me a moment's insight to the joy and wonder that a mother has for her child.
I cried when I read this...
There's a part of me that deeply feels like running away and crying whenever I think that I will never get pregnant and never have kids.
It's been and always has been my biggest problem in accepting myself and has been and will be one of the toughest things to get past.
Although, I will always feel pangs of jealousy when cis women talk about being pregnant or when I see pregnant women.
It's something that will always remind me of something that's missing.
Its funny, what we want and need so bad is what other woman don't like and wish they could get rid of. (Menstration, which is part of the cycle of life)
I mean I don't want PMS but if I went through PMS it means my life would be perfect. If that makes any sense. I kinda get these knots of anxiety when I talk about it magically hoping i'll wake up 100% whole physically. Ai Ai I should shush now I am sorta going to break down if I dont.
I cant do that at work.
This really fits in with how I've been thinking lately... transition or no transition, there are certain things that (if magic isn't real) are never going to happen. Like: I'm never going to bear a child. I'm never going to menstruate. I'm never going to have been my mother's daughter. These things have to be accepted and - well, mourned.
Sorry to make my first post such a downer but that's how I'm seeing it at the moment. There are things that transition could bring me and there are things that it couldn't .
Quote from: Pexetta on October 11, 2012, 08:35:48 PM
This really fits in with how I've been thinking lately... transition or no transition, there are certain things that (if magic isn't real) are never going to happen. Like: I'm never going to bear a child. I'm never going to menstruate. I'm never going to have been my mother's daughter. These things have to be accepted and - well, mourned.
Sorry to make my first post such a downer but that's how I'm seeing it at the moment. There are things that transition could bring me and there are things that it couldn't .
I think that accepting and mourning these things is a crucial part of transition. At least, for me it is.
Quote from: Connie Anne on October 11, 2012, 08:37:02 PM
I think that accepting and mourning these things is a crucial part of transition. At least, for me it is.
Connie Anne, I also want to point out that it's a gift to feel things deeply the way you do. Not everyone can. Women are far more likely to receive this gift than men.
When I have sad stuff to deal with, this feels like a curse, but this kind of sensitivity makes living life a much more vivid experience.
Quote from: Rita on October 11, 2012, 01:35:43 PM
Its funny, what we want and need so bad is what other woman don't like and wish they could get rid of. (Menstration, which is part of the cycle of life)
as much as they complain about it, they don't really want to be rid of it. i asked my sister about it when it still hadn't come back nearly 6 months after she gave birth, and she said that not getting it makes her feel like her whole life has been paused. the cycle is one of the things that make a person feel like a woman, so when a cis woman loses it, that may actually cause her a lot of distress
Quote from: agfrommd on October 12, 2012, 07:50:13 AM
Connie Anne, I also want to point out that it's a gift to feel things deeply the way you do. Not everyone can. Women are far more likely to receive this gift than men.
When I have sad stuff to deal with, this feels like a curse, but this kind of sensitivity makes living life a much more vivid experience.
Prior to starting HRT, I felt like I was limited in my emotional responses. About 3 weeks into HRT I was the weepiest damn thing you'd ever see. At about 8-9 months into HRT, things stabilized. I still have a greater emotional response than before I started hormones, but I don't cry because I got a helpful email from a coworker.
Crying over this is natural, and better for you than internalizing it. If you feel the saddness, let it out. there is a saying "shared sorrow is half the sorrow, shared happiness is twice the happiness." That you feel this way isnt a bad thing but rather an afirmation of who you are. Dont let it get you down, but dont deny its existence either.
I want to be a mother very badly. Whenever I thought about being a parent (because I never considered myself a father even before I knew my true self) I knew that I wanted them to be of me. There are advances in medicine that will allow us to give birth and I believe that we should pursue them. We all know the truth of what we are when we begin changing whether we admit it to ourselves or not, but that doesnt mean we should limit oursleves because of it. I am proud to say that I am a woman and one day this body will have children regardless of if it was supposed to or not!
So dont let it get you down. Remember always that so long as someone struggles for something then there is hope of it happening.
Quote from: Taka on October 12, 2012, 08:56:56 AM
as much as they complain about it, they don't really want to be rid of it. i asked my sister about it when it still hadn't come back nearly 6 months after she gave birth, and she said that not getting it makes her feel like her whole life has been paused. the cycle is one of the things that make a person feel like a woman, so when a cis woman loses it, that may actually cause her a lot of distress
I wouldn't say that for all of them! I hate getting my period with a passion. When I was 12 and I first started I cried my eyes out thinking my life was over... The possibility of getting pregnant makes me want to vomit and when I see pregnant women or babies I just cringe in disgust. Anything 'motherly' kinda makes me ill, especially when it's applied to me. I have nothing against people who want to have babies and I think it is incredibly depressing that there are people out there that want babies that can't have them. I would gladly give up my ability and grant it to anyone else, given the chance. :(
Quote from: muffinpants on October 14, 2012, 04:17:51 PM
I wouldn't say that for all of them! I hate getting my period with a passion. When I was 12 and I first started I cried my eyes out thinking my life was over... The possibility of getting pregnant makes me want to vomit and when I see pregnant women or babies I just cringe in disgust. Anything 'motherly' kinda makes me ill, especially when it's applied to me. I have nothing against people who want to have babies and I think it is incredibly depressing that there are people out there that want babies that can't have them. I would gladly give up my ability and grant it to anyone else, given the chance. :(
ah, yes. i'm sorry i forgot your little minority. but to most women who want their reproductive abilities, the cycle is something they'd rather have than get rid of. of course most of them probably wish it didn't have to come with so much bleeding and/or cramps though
I understand that reasoning, I wish I could experience it to ;D, it brings forth the realization more so than anything else that I was born with XY chromosomes as a girl.
I sure wish you girls could have periods for a few months just to get the feelings of having them, PMS, needing to carry supplies, possibility of bleeding on your clothes especially light colored things, always wondering if it was time to change, and what about swimming. I will be so glad when I can start T and then have all those parts removed and knowing that periods are then impossible for me.
Quote from: mm on October 15, 2012, 02:29:55 PM
I sure wish you girls could have periods for a few months just to get the feelings of having them, PMS, needing to carry supplies, possibility of bleeding on your clothes especially light colored things, always wondering if it was time to change, and what about swimming. I will be so glad when I can start T and then have all those parts removed and knowing that periods are then impossible for me.
Yea but its part of the female life experience, I wish we could to. As much as a nuisance it may become, it would be a nuisance many of us would be extremely happy to take!
We have same same nurturing instincts as any XX Female. :D As much of it is the way our minds are wired.
I did feel the "pangs" of not being pregnant, and it was hard specially when my wife was pregnant. I was soooo happy for her, and for us, but it was so hard on me. She never knew just how I felt. However, after the kids were born, I was the best "Mommy" in the world; feeding them, changing them, baths, and just loveing them so much.
I gave them -and still do- all the affection I never got, and you know what, it did help me 'heal" for all the abuse and neglect I suffer as a kid.
Quote from: peky on October 15, 2012, 04:46:45 PM
I did feel the "pangs" of not being pregnant, and it was hard specially when my wife was pregnant. I was soooo happy for her, and for us, but it was so hard on me. She never knew just how I felt. However, after the kids were born, I was the best "Mommy" in the world; feeding them, changing them, baths, and just loveing them so much.
I gave them -and still do- all the affection I never got, and you know what, it did help me 'heal" for all the abuse and neglect I suffer as a kid.
Awww thats the cutest thing I have heard all day.
Quote from: Rita on October 15, 2012, 04:14:43 PM
Yea but its part of the female life experience, I wish we could to. As much as a nuisance it may become, it would be a nuisance many of us would be extremely happy to take!
We have same same nurturing instincts as any XX Female. :D As much of it is the way our minds are wired.
It would prove to us that we are exactly what we want to be. despite the pain and discomfort, it would make us happy. I honestly want it.
Quote from: mm on October 15, 2012, 02:29:55 PM
I sure wish you girls could have periods for a few months just to get the feelings of having them, PMS, needing to carry supplies, possibility of bleeding on your clothes especially light colored things, always wondering if it was time to change, and what about swimming. I will be so glad when I can start T and then have all those parts removed and knowing that periods are then impossible for me.
I have had several women say this to me (you're the first guy I've seen say this, though I understand what makes you say it). This is my reply each and every time: I wish you could experience what it means
not to have a period.
I would trade in less than a heartbeat.
Quote from: Sybil on October 20, 2012, 01:54:01 AM
I wish you could experience what it means not to have a period.
^ This.
I remember reading something about ( I think it was Dr McGinnis) That she started taking some type of hormones and vitamins and was able to breast feed her and her partners baby ( can't remember if they adopted or not)
Hugs
If memory serves, DanielleJ, the baby is theirs. Her partner became pregnant with McGinn's stored sperm.
MM, having been married three times, I can understand the troubles of having a period. Yes I did not actually experience any of it, but I got a good instruction on what women go through.
I also can understand why you guys hate them so.
But still I would have them in a heartbeat,
Hi Everyone,
Not wishing to drop a wet blanket on the negativity of not being able to Mother your child, but I guess it depends on how desperate you want to become.
If you speak to your Endo and tell him what you are trying to achieve, you will be able to achieve it as far as nursing is concerned. And remember there are options of adoption and surrogacy. How you organise those aspects is totally up to the individual and is a very personal matter.
Huggs
Catherine
Life is never going to be perfect for anyone, whether your trans or not. There are some XX women who can't have kids and I can't imagine what they feel is any different. (Meaning that its the same.) You are incredibly lucky to have two kids who love you.
There are some things that will always sting, but its just best to look at the possitives and all the advantages that the trans community has these days.