How many of you never really felt you are transsexual but nonetheless slowly moving towards it without realizing?
I for one never hate my male body but adore the female body.
My appearance have change quite a lot over the years.
I starts with crossdressing, then laser hair removal, eyebrow shaping, diet to lose weight, growing hair, small FFS :)
Nowdays ,I have I think 75% chance (pulled number out of thin air), in drab, being called ma'am in public.
Well, I never thought I would actually go through with all of this. I remember constantly telling myself that people who changed their gender were wrong and confused. When I first began to look inside of myself and realize what I had been suppressing--rather well I might add--I knew I needed to seek out a therapist. My first goal was actually to continue suppressing the feelings. I couldn't be a girl I though. Non sense. I just need to learn to live as a male. But as the sessions progressed it became apparent that suppressing wasn't going to do anything.
As for how fast I moved. I moved quickly. I like to get stuff done. But everyone is different. For me, I started HRT 6 months after my first therapy session. And I was living as a woman after the first four months of therapy. I'm only eight months into this now (two months into HRT), but I'm happy with who I am and that is what should matter. I realized I am a woman; to me it is as simple as that. I need no more categories or names by which to call myself other than that of woman.
I will add that I found out I'm intersex; like I said, everyone is different.
I "transitioned" over about a 10 year period, slowing changing things about myself until I finally got so far past the mid point it was "awkward" so did a few more drastic changes to my appearance and went full time. It worked for me and I feel now living in that "awkward" state gave me a HUGE amount of self confidence. I feel I pass and/or look genuine enough where everyone treats me like a woman now, which was my goal. I did go full time for a few years before I even started HRT.
On the gravitating towards GRS, I don't "hate my male body" like to the point of suicide or self mutilation but I don't really care for it either. Now that I have been living full time for half a dozen years I am starting to think more seriously about doing it.
I wouldn't say "...without realizing it." Always in the back of my mind was the hope, the dream, the small glimmer of a miracle occuring that I just may someday live as a woman.
These days I wrestle with "why bother?" I learned to accept myself somewhat about being trans. Most of the shame is gone. My self-confidence was at an all time high never seen since I was 5. I learned that not only can a hulk like me pass, I actually can be accepted as a woman. Yet personal responsibilites preclude me going full-time anytime soon. The words of my wife echo constantly in my mind "What sane person wants to be a 56 y/o woman?" I think 56, 60, 65 even >:( Ain't going to happen anytime soon... if ever :( So why bother?
Yet.... you never know
I don't want to be an old "man" so maybe I am crazy