Hi all,
Well it's been a while since I've been active on the boards here. In short I went full time in April of 2011 and have just been living life and "transitioning" since then. I was fortunate that from the day I went full time I didn't have too much trouble. In January I got a new job and I don't think anyone knows I'm trans there - so just am able to live my life with my new coworkers as myself. Have also been able to keep most of my family and friends, and overall I've settled into my new life pretty well. Am even still living with my wife, although we are now just sisters and consider ourselves separated.
But in all of this I've been prepping myself for surgery. After lots of planning and figuring out what date is best in terms of my work schedule and all that I've settled on March 20th for my surgery date and selected Dr. Suporn as my surgeon after talking with a couple girls locally who went to him, and also a few virtual contacts as well. I'm great about taking steps forward and going through the necessary hoops, but to be honest I do deal with anxiety about the surgery.
Not so much anxiety about the results of the surgery in terms of having my genitals fixed, but just in terms of the surgery itself (my first) and the dilation etc afterwards. So to combat my anxiety I am making a list (those of you who have read some of my previous posts know I like doing this for some reason) to help me focus on some of the positive things about my surgery experience:
Things I Can Do While Recovering:
- Talk to a few of my friends on the phone more
- Listen to audio books
- Make new friends (international ones too!)
- Rest and relax
- Research vacation ideas and plan a trip to somewhere exciting
- Do some writing
- I can watch documentaries, movies, or TV shows that I've been wanting to watch
- I can meditate
Things I Can Do While in Thailand
- I can have my parents bring me interesting food while I am in the hospital or have them describe to me anything interesting they find outside while I am still in bed.
- I can do a little exploring on my own once I am feeling up to it
- I can enjoy the warm weather while Seattle is still very cold and rainy[/li]
Does anyone have any advice for me, or any other ideas of things I can add to this list? I really want to feel like I am full of ideas for things to do, and ways that this experience can improve my life while I am still in recovery so that hopefully I find myself looking forward to some aspects of recovery and not just looking forward to the end result itself.
Great attitude! I'm personally finding the post-operative period to be fairly busy, in terms of dilations, sitz baths and douches, plus time spent air-drying (recommended by Brassard), so not a LOT of time for other pursuits, but yes, in general it's been a pleasant time of renewal. I don't know about Suporn's aftercare recommendations, but I'd suggest you might not have as much free time as you think you might. Plan to do a lot of resting and relaxing. Anything else is a bonus.
Thanks for replying Colleen. I'll be in Thailand for a month, and then off work for another 3-4 weeks or so once I get back. Hopefully that's enough time for me to get back to health. And I hope to get lots of rest and relaxation in too!
Hi Madelyn, my advice would be relax, take it as it comes and don't push yourself to do a bunch of stuff. Meet people while you are there, but it will mostly all seem like a three month long dream in retrospect anyway. I read 18 books and saw a few netflix movies in my 2 month recovery. I slept a lot. Talked to friends a lot. Played a lot of words with friends, songpop, etc. on my phone. I made a few youtube videos. Give yourself the freedom to not really have to do anything, your mind will be going to a bunch of different places and you'll look back and it probably won't be anything like you thought it would be anyway, lol. Congrats :) March will seriously be here before you know it :) Meghan
Thank you so much for your response Meghan!
My strategy of list making is mainly to help with the stress of doing something new. But I have to admit that although it has helped me in the past usually my experience ends up being totally different. Like when I was struggling with fear of starting transition I made lists to help me think things through, but things turned out differently than I had thought and I'm doing really well. Focusing on the positives like meeting new people, or being able to talk to friends more, or read a book helps me see that even the surgery recovery can bring positives into my life even though I know it will bring struggle too.
Your post was so encouraging to me. Thank you!
Hi Madelyn,
I can remember feeling anxious in anticipation of the surgery. Sophie had great advice for me on it... She said the patients who will recover well and feel relaxed in chonburi are the ones that know the seriousness of the surgery along with their excitement at having it and who are anticipating a good and steady recovery. the patients that are not doing so well where categorized as either the ones that expect to drink cocktails under coconut palmtrees on a sunny beach and the ones that expect something terrible is going to happen and expect a painful recovery. both groups tend to have a hard recovery...it is a bit of a self fulfilling prophecy and having realistic expectations. Chonburi itself is by far not a tourist destination but the clinic will organize weekly trips which are a nice distraction. what will make the whole experience special are most certainly the people you will meet and the lovely and caring clinic girls. if you want to read more about my experience you can check my post history. you will make new friends easily...usually there are enough people to socialize with in the clinic or at the hotel lobby or 3rd floor terrace. bring your own laptop with lots of movies and your favourite music and a couple good books and try to enjoy the fact that you can take it slowly and relax.... dont feel pressurized to do lots of stuff...besides there is little to doin chonburi and enjoy the hot weather! I hope March will come soon! Best wishes and feel free to ask any question :)
I'm super grateful for this board and posts. Thanks so much Sweetie for replying to this thread. I did read about your experience and am so grateful you shared that with the community here. It helps me a lot to hear the stories of those who have gone before me. :)
Just take care of yourself, Bones (private joke). Don't push getting back to work. You need the time to heal.
Good luck, Sis.