¡Hey there! Greetings from South America.
Im Meria, and I have 21 years old. I started my threatment like... 4 or 5 years ago, I dont even remember. I never felt that something really change, excepting for the breasts and some minor details. My face, my general body shape, my hair, absolutely nothing more than that changed, or at least, I didnt notice it.
When I started, I feel so excited, relieved, thinking I would physically change, and thus, I would be able to feel confortable with myself. Four years later, and I havent learn how to love myself. People usually tell me, familiars particulary, that I shouldnt worry at all. That no-one would notice it if I dont say it. And this is why I come here to seek some aid, because of this damn impossibility to feel confortable with the "cointainer" of all I am within.
Maybe its because I cant get on my mind the words of my family, I guess I cant stop thinking that those words are to spare me out of kindness, little lies to make me feel better.
So, I will show you some actual pictures. There are sometimes when I feel alright, like in this two.
And then there come other days, in which I dont feel so confortable about my shapes, specially my face. I have a very traumatic growing, as probably many of you did, and in days like these... The ghosts come back, and I see those masculine details that reminds me why I cant go forward, instead, pulling me back. Im thinking a lot lately about recurring to a facial feminization surgery, so Im kinda asking you for advice, because Im not 100% sure.
I know this must be like a "vanity topic" at first glance, but I believe it is important to feel good with your exterior, as well as with all that dwells within. I'd like to leave my fears behind at once, and to not give a damn about how I look, to feel safe. So I come here to ask you, people who dont know me at all... What do you see, and think? Please, drop it as tough as possible.
I know how you feel, but you have your masculine image in your head (it's like anorectic people see themselves fat)
Everyone of us feel sometimes like an ugly boy in dress, but cis girls have it also
Best thing to me is when I meet new people they don't have any doubts, I'm girl for them, if I have kids of my gf with me they ask if they are mine, but when I look to mirror I still often see me as ugly and masculine.
I just want to say, you are beautiful girl,so go out, make fun and be you.
From what you say it seems like your problem is because your face hasn't changed , well i'm happy to be the bearer of good news, your face doesn't need to change because you are a beautiful woman.
You are very fortunate that you started treatment before your face started to become masculine & this is why you haven't seen much change (I guess).
When I looked at your pictures my first thought is that you could probably go into modelling.
I'm sure its difficult seeing a face that's similar to the one you had as male but the rest of the world would take one look & see a very pretty woman
Thank you very for your words, I suppose its time to leave behind this "magical solution" that I always thought hormones and surgeries would be, and start to accept myself just as I am. Really hard, Indeed, but as you said, we all suffer from it, so... At least I know Im not the only one! :P
Maybe I should start a presentation topic. This one was too... "I NEED HELP NOW", haha. 'Til the next time :)
Ola, Meria!
I think you look very cute, and remind me of my sister when she was young.
Please consider writing a short biography for the "Introductions" board.
I see a lovely young woman in those pictures - no hint of male whatsoever.
But i know what you mean about when you glance in the mirror and see reminders of your old self - I do the same but my friends tell me otherwise and it's hard to believe. Just know that everyone else sees something far different than what you see.
I will be totally up front and honest here. As someone who identifies as a Femme lesbian, I think you look gorgeous, and more feminine than most of the women in my city of 250,000. So there.
You are also obviously fluent in at least two languages, and that is not easy,as I am finding in my own French studies.
Ignore the mirror. It lies, and is in a conspiracy with the scales, as all women know.
Karen.
You look incredible! I tried looking for masculine signs and couldnt find anything. Personally im jealous of your complexion. lol Seriously you look great! I would have never known had I seen you in person.
"Forgive me for my horrible Espanol!"
Hola Meria,
Esta Bien?......
Me yama Dani,
Mucho Gusto!
OK, so that was from my high school Spanish class..... ::) Maybe yo necicita muy lesionas?(Yeah its been a WHILE since I spoke your language)!
Tus muy bonita y simpatica! " In English I would add that you are very feminine!" The perfect combination of dark hair, dark eyes & classic Latin beauty. And very classy too. Your clothing and mannerisms are very feminine! I would "guess" you are a Girl and dos en Domingo(Slang for Twice on Sunday >:-)).
Believe me, we all have "perception" issues. We see the "ugly boy" even after years of transition. You "pass" and "then some"!
Welcome & hope hear from you again!
Dani
Hola chica,
Pue por que las preguntas, mira, el espejo no miente. Tu heres una latina bonita, yo no veo ningun chico.